The Wild Heart

by Emrys Apollo

  It seemed to turn Clint on too because his breathing was ragged. He started moving in slowly and deep. “Is this okay?” His voice was hardly a breath.

  Sean lifted his head weakly. “Yes it’s-oh.” He dropped his head back into his hands, overwhelmed. Clint had unwittingly found his prostate on his last thrust, gently pressing into it and sending pleasure straight through Sean.

  “Is-was that it?” Clint said, voice rough.

  “Yes,” Sean said, voice shaking. “That’s it. Do it again.”

  It was hard trying to have a sane conversation when his body was throbbing as if Clint was already fucking him, as if he was already coming.

  Clint pushed in the same direction and although it took him a few thrusts to get it consistently, he started brushing the prostate and Sean closed his eyes, weak with sensation. It was too much. Knowing it was Clint, knowing what they were doing, feeling the pleasure.

  He started moving his hips back into Clint, needing more. Clint seemed to understand and slowly added a second finger. It burned and Sean tried not to hiss in pain, not wanting to scare Clint. But once Clint had stretched him a little, the sensation of the second finger against Sean’s prostate, the additional stretch and friction made him moan, unable to be silent.

  It was starting to feel incredibly good and his cock was getting too sensitive, rubbing against the sheets as Sean kept moving back on Clint’s fingers. He could feel Clint suddenly bend over him, kiss him between the shoulder blades.

  “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

  It made Sean hotter and he moaned in response. “More,” he whimpered.

  Clint complied, sliding in a third finger. This one was hard. This one felt more like pain than pleasure and Sean had to grit his teeth hard not to make a sound. It eased quickly though after Clint kept pressing against his prostate and soon his cock was throbbing again.

  He arched and panted, riding Clint’s fingers. It was unbearably good, Clint’s slick fingers moving and coaxing sensation from him, his aching, sensitive cock rubbing against the sheets as he moved his hips back and forth. Clint was moving in faster and Sean was starting to wonder if he could come just on Clint’s fingers. Finally, unable to wait any longer, he moaned, “Please, fuck me.”

  Clint stopped then, slowly pulling out his fingers. Sean buried his face into his arms, both scared and desperate to be fucked. It would hurt like hell. Clint wasn’t the biggest he’d ever had, but he was pretty damn thick, and he wasn’t sure if he could take it.

  Clint was stroking his back lightly as if he knew Sean was worried. Sean could also hear the lube bottle being opened up and knew Clint was slicking himself up. The thought was so arousing that he whined a little in anticipation.

  He felt Clint drip lube onto his entrance and he thanked God that Clint had educated himself fairly thoroughly on the mechanics of this. It would have been embarrassing to explain everything every step of the way.

  The thought flew out of his mind at the feeling of Clint’s cock brushing his entrance gently. Breath hitching, Sean braced himself, trying to relax but failing.

  “Sean, baby-”

  “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just do it,” Sean mumbled back, voice muffled.

  Clint leaned down, kissing his back and his neck. Sean relaxed a little, enjoying the kisses, trying to concentrate on that until he felt Clint start to push. Instantly, Sean knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Clint felt thicker than he looked-and now Sean knew just how thick. It burned and stretched and plain hurt and he couldn’t help whimpering in pain.

  He wondered how bad it would have been if he’d been a virgin.

  Reaching underneath his body, he started to stroke himself, trying to relax as Clint kept pushing in. Immediately, Clint stopped. “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s fine,” Sean said, teeth gritted, determined to get it over with. “Just keep going.”

  Clint moved in deeper and Sean wondered if it would ever end until he felt Clint’s thighs against his. Breathing a sigh of relief, he closed his eyes and stopped stroking himself. Instead he croaked, “Don’t move. Just for a second.”

  Clint stopped immediately and Sean would’ve thought it was almost easy for him except he could feel Clint’s thighs trembling with the sheer effort. Part of his mind felt grateful, while the rest of him was cursing Clint for all the pain he was wreaking.

  Clint started to mouth Sean’s back, sucking and licking. Sean concentrated on his tongue, on the feeling of Clint’s body wrapped around his, his cock buried deep in Sean’s ass, their entire bodies touching everywhere. The knowledge was inherently incredibly hot and Sean felt himself starting to get aroused again, started feeling himself relax.

  The pain was easing, although not going away completely. Exhausted, he moved his hips a little, a silent signal for Clint.

  Clint understood immediately and started to make small, tiny movements in and out of Sean’s ass. Frankly, it couldn’t even be called thrusts because the degree was fractional. But the slow shifting movements got Clint in the perfect position and suddenly the head of his cock brushed Sean’s prostate.

  Instantly, Sean arched, moaning. Clint stiffened, but immediately kept making small tiny thrusts aimed at the spot. Because Clint was hardly withdrawing his cock at all, it meant almost continuous stimulation of Sean’s prostate and, before long, the discomfort and pain of Clint’s penetration was all but forgotten, buried under the overwhelming sensation of pleasure.

  And, fuck, was it good.

  Sean was going out of his mind, whimpering, moaning, crying out. But he desperately wanted to kiss Clint and, finally, he said, “Stop, stop.”

  Clint withdrew immediately and Sean felt a wave of gratitude at how quick the response was. He rolled over, laying on his back and drawing up his knees and looked up at Clint. “Like this. Please.”

  Clint’s expression had been horrified, worried he’d done something wrong, but now it turned hot and intent within seconds. To Sean’s surprise, he gently placed a pillow under Sean’s hips. He placed his cock at Sean’s entrance, breathing harshly.

  He looked at Sean who arched upwards. Instantly, Clint begin to bury himself in Sean, moving in one smooth, long slide. Sean moaned in pleasure. Clint leaned forward, bracing himself up on his elbows. He kissed Sean then, their mouths sloppy and rough as Clint kept making tiny forward and backward movements.

  It was perfection, Clint fucking him slowly, his cock brushing Sean’s prostate with every thrust, his mouth moving lazily over Sean’s. The tempo increased so gradually that Sean couldn’t really tell when it became harder, when it became faster, but it just seemed that Clint gave him exactly what he wanted before he could say anything.

  He closed his hand around his cock, desperate for relief now, ready to come. Immediately, Clint, mouth still on Sean’s, pulled it away. Instead he wrapped his own hand around Sean’s damp, hard cock and begin to pump it lazily.

  Sean immediately cried out against Clint’s mouth, bucking up in pleasure. Clint, sensing the urgency, begin to move his hand hard and fast, dragging the skin tightly and quickly back and forth. He was thrusting faster now, harder, trying to give Sean what he wanted.

  Sean was a mess now. He’d been reduced to a sobbing mass of sensation. Because it was coming from all sides and the pleasure was only increasing, rising in him like a wave, cresting and peaking and crescendoing until finally Sean came.

  His ass clenched hard around Clint’s cock as he came and this might have been the final stimulation because Clint began to come too, burying his face in Sean’s neck and moaning and panting. “Fuck, fuck, so good,” Clint moaned against Sean’s neck and Sean felt a savage pleasure that it was his body making Clint feel like this, it was his ass, it was fucking Sean that did that to Clint.

  But he couldn’t dwell on it too much because his orgasm was incredible and all-encompassing. He spurted on and on over his stomach, coming so strong he could feel it everywhere.

  When Clint finally pulled out, rolling
off of Sean but pulling him close, Sean felt as if someone had given him a sleeping pill. He was filled with warm drowsiness, a feeling of intense and complete lethargy and languor. Unable to help himself, he closed his eyes, luxuriating in feeling Clint’s body against him.

  And slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Sean slipped out of bed with a throbbing headache. Luckily, Clint was sprawled on his stomach on the far side of the bed and didn’t stir. Sean glanced back at Clint and sighed regretfully at the fact that the sheet was covering almost his entire body.

  He moved out of the bedroom as noiselessly as he could, rubbing his forehead. God, he needed some coffee. Unbidden, some of the memories of the previous night hit him and he felt his face heat. He couldn’t help smiling, touching his lips in a half-hearted attempt to control himself.

  He descended the stairs still grinning and had to give himself a sternly worded lecture about controlling himself. Because it had been a one-time thing. Granted, it had been the best fucking night of his life-emphasis on fucking-but that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to get back with Clint. He needed space and time.

  The idea of a long distance relationship had always stressed him out and he didn’t want to do it with someone who was entering into this relationship as something of a virgin. Sure, Clint had been with other people before, but he hadn’t been in a gay relationship and it came with its own set of rules. How could a footballer-especially one as famous as Clint-ever be open about it?

  The media would tear them apart.

  Besides, maybe Clint wasn’t really into guys. Maybe his feelings for Sean stemmed for love and that had spilled over into sexual feelings. Sean truly didn’t know if that was possible. It was too confusing, and he didn’t want any part of it anymore.

  But he had wanted that one night, and, damn, it had been worth it. It had been so good to have Clint exactly the way he’d always pictured, so good to have Clint all his, in every way.

  He was just perching on one of his kitchen stools, a cup of a steaming hot coffee in his hand, when Clint walked into the kitchen. Clint gave him one of those special smiles, reserved for only a very few. He came around the kitchen counter directly to Sean, his eyes warm and dancing.

  “Hi, baby,” he murmured, and before Sean could really do anything, he had kissed him.

  It was supposed to be a morning peck, Sean guessed. But after a few minutes, it became very clear that yesterday had only stoked the fire, not put it out. Because Clint’s head would not lift and Sean wasn’t exactly pushing him away either. They were kissing and kissing, Clint’s mouth tasting like toothpaste, minty and cool and hot all at once.

  It was astonishing how quickly the kiss heated. It had never happened this swiftly between them before and Sean realized, belatedly, what a terrible idea sleeping with Clint had been. Because there was no way he was going to ever be able to say no again.

  But surely he had to try?

  He finally broke the kiss and immediately scrambled off the stool, rounding the counter and putting some much-needed space between.

  Clint was frowning, looking a little confused. “What’re you doing? Come here,” he said, making to follow Sean.

  “Wait, stop!” Sean said, holding up a hand, still backing up.

  Clint froze, eyes widening now. “Oh my god, are you still saying no?”

  Sean flushed. “Listen, it was just one night-”

  “I cannot believe you!” Clint said, his hands coming to grasp his hair. He was staring at Sean with so much disbelief that it was almost comical.

  Sean kept backing up, and, to his astonishment, Clint started advancing on him, face grim and determined.

  “Listen, listen, just relax a little.”

  “I’m very relaxed,” Clint said casually, his mouth set. His eyes were fixed on Sean’s, narrowed, fierce.

  Sean wondered why his pants were tightening in a very humiliating way. Concentrate. He shook his head inwardly, trying to focus. Instantly, he realized his momentary lapse had resulted in him backing himself against the kitchen wall. He had cornered himself. How clever.

  He looked at Clint who was still advancing, stopping only when he was just an inch away, just a breath away from touching Sean. Clint’s eyes were so furious, so angry, Sean almost felt the force of it burning his skin.

  “So. What’s the trouble? I didn’t fuck you good enough?”

  The words were so casually said that Sean almost didn’t realize how cruel they were until a moment passed. “Fuck you,” Sean spat. “You think this is about sex? Well, then, fuck you, man.”

  But Sean could detect a slight note of relief in Clint’s eyes and felt a little bad. Maybe it hadn’t been the most sensitive thing for him to break up with Clint right after Clint's first time. It had been Clint’s first time with a man-and Clint had clearly been very insecure about the whole thing. He softened a little. “It was good. Amazing. But it’s not about that.”

  But Clint looked distracted. “It was good, huh?” He was smiling. He leaned in for a kiss and Sean turned his head, exasperated, amused and aroused. Not the best combination when a man was hungover too.

  “Stop, Clint,” Sean said, but he was smiling too.

  Clint sighed, his mouth close to Sean’s cheek. He leaned back a little, but didn’t bother stepping back, preferring to crowd Sean and give him no breathing or thinking space.

  Sean dragged in a breath, trying not to be distracted by his arousal. He looked at Clint. “Listen, it was just a one-time thing. I don’t-”

  “No.”

  Sean stopped. “What do you mean, no?”

  Clint’s face was stony. “It’s not a one-time thing. I don’t accept.”

  Sean suddenly felt a laugh bubbling inside him and had to chew the inside of his mouth to keep from letting it out. Clint was such a child sometimes. So stubborn. “Well, it’s not your choice alone-”

  “And it’s not your choice alone, either.”

  They glared at each other. “I don’t want to be in a relationship,” Sean said, gritting his teeth.

  Clint eyed him for a few seconds. “Deal.”

  That made Sean snap his head back in shock. “What?” he said, dumbfounded.

  “I agree,” Clint said cheerfully. “Let’s not do the boyfriend thing.” But Clint was inching closer, Sean noticed. He placed his hands very decidedly on either side of Sean’s head, leaning in, voice dropping.

  Sean pressed himself against the wall. He fought to keep his head. “And you’re okay with that?”

  Clint was so close now, his breath was puffing against Sean’s lips. “Okay.”

  Sean frowned. “What are you up to, Blacker?”

  Clint laughed, but his eyes were still sharp. “I have an alternate proposition.”

  “What’s that?” Sean asked warily.

  Clint grinned. He paused, drawing out the moment, then said, voice low, “Friends with benefits.”

  Never had three words made Sean so hard before. “No,” Sean said emphatically, shaking his head. "No, no, no."

  “Did you like it when I fucked you?” Clint asked bluntly.

  Sean was starting to get a little breathless. This conversation wasn’t good for him. He wished Clint would just ease back, just a tiny bit so he could calm down. But Clint was one clever bastard. He was deliberately doing this, forcing Sean to think while he was aroused. “Fuck you, you know I did,” he ground out.

  Clint didn’t smile but he looked so smug that Sean wanted to kick him. “So don’t you want that, then? Don’t you want me to fuck you?” He leaned in, resting his body weight against Sean for just one delicious second, letting him feel his erection. “Over… and over… and over?” he said slowly, voice dropping with each word.

  Sean finally realized what seduction meant. This was it. This was what it meant when someone tried to arouse you, when someone made you so hot that you felt you’d die if you didn’t have them.

  Sean c
losed his eyes in some desperate attempt to calm himself down. “No. Clint, no. I made up my mind.”

  Clint’s voice suddenly sounded next to Sean’s left ear and Sean jumped, realizing Clint had moved. “Did you now? So you don’t want me to ever fuck you again? Or… suck your cock?”

  Sean’s eyes flew open and he snapped his eyes to Clint. He was throbbing so hard in his pants he felt like he’d come right here and now. Speechless, he stared at Clint.

  All amusement had vanished from Clint’s face. He met Sean’s eyes firmly, unwaveringly. “Tell me you don’t want it.”

  Sean couldn’t get one word out. He was almost panting now, so aroused he wished he’d never made the stupid decision in the first place.

  But he knew where this would end if he said yes once.

  “I don’t want it,” he said hoarsely.

  “I don’t believe you,” Clint said. “You want me. You want me fucking you. You want it right now, and you know what, Sean? I want to fuck you.”

  Sean moaned. He couldn’t help it. He’d never thought Clint would have such a filthy mouth. Was this the same guy who’d blushed when talking about blowjobs?

  “Say it,” Clint said, voice low, his eyes intense. “Say you want me to fuck you.”

  Sean swallowed. “No.”

  Clint smiled a little. “Do you want me to… make you say it?”

  Sean’s eyes widened. Was this Clinton Blacker?

  But it was, and, truth be told, it wasn’t that hard to believe. This was the determination that had made Clint what he was today. Clint never took no for an answer.

  “Clint, stop. Just listen to me,” Sean said quickly. His heart was thrumming.

  “First, say it.”

  “Listen. I don’t think this could work between us. There are too many complicated factors. There are too many things fucking it up. I don’t want to deal with it.”

  Clint was silent, listening. “You’re still talking about a relationship.”

  Sean frowned. “Yes.”