The Wild Heart

by Emrys Apollo

  He vomited immediately. Clint followed him almost instantly and he could feel him rubbing his back gently, soothingly. Humiliated, Sean rubbed roughly at his mouth, straightening and flushing the toilet. He didn’t want to meet Clint’s eyes, but there was no avoiding it.

  “Are you okay?” Clint asked softly, rubbing his arms.

  Sean nodded shortly, acutely aware of his breath. To his shock, Clint cupped his face and then kissed him, gently touching his lips with his own. He would have gasped in shock, but he didn’t want to blow what would surely be toxic fumes in Clint’s mouth so he kept his mouth tightly shut.

  When Clint finally leaned back, Sean pushed at his chest, desperate to rinse his mouth out. Clint obliged, letting Sean gargle thoroughly. When he finished, turning to face Clint, he was surprised to find Clint grinning.

  “Better?”

  Sean nodded, opening his mouth. But he was cut off by the gale of laughter that erupted from Clint’s mouth. Clint clutched his stomach, leaning against the doorjamb, laughing like he’d never ever stop.

  Sean glared at him, his way of escape blocked and with no witty comeback handy. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for it to peter out. But Clint continued to laugh, turning red from lack of air and eyes turning watery.

  Sean felt a smile starting to spread across his face and, reluctantly, he gave in. Huffing, he pushed at Clint. “Move.”

  But Clint straightened, wiping at his eyes, a diabolical gleam in his eyes. “No, let’s stay here.” He stepped in to the bathroom, locking it behind him.

  Sean felt his heart fluttering and his cock twitching in interest. Pretending to be angry, he raised his chin. “I’m not in the mood.”

  Clint grinned, lounging against the door, not making any move towards Sean.

  Trying to distract himself, Sean said, “Why are you locking the door, anyway? Who’re you keeping out, ghosts?”

  Clint seemed unperturbed by the unsexy question. “I just think it’s sexier, don’t you?”

  Sean frowned, truly confused. “What’s sexy about a locked door?”

  Clint smiled lazily, his eyes warm. “I meant the thought of someone being out there. While we’re in here. Almost getting caught.”

  Sean felt his breath hitch, images suddenly filling his brain. Of the house being filled with people, the two of them stealing away for a moment, locking themselves in the bathroom, Clint bending him over, fucking him quickly while they tried to be quiet.

  He was hard now, breathing quickly. He looked at Clint, trying to be impassive, but Clint himself had straightened a little, his eyes sharp, locking on Sean’s.

  “Do you think it’s sexy, Sean?”

  Clint’s voice was low, vibrating against Sean’s skin. Sean suppressed a shiver, trying to fight the mental images assaulting him. “Maybe,” Sean said, voice wavering a little.

  This was one of the things Sean found incredibly attractive about Clint. He liked to turn Sean on with dirty conversation and, although sometimes Sean just wished Clint would get on with it, there was something very hot about being seduced like this, without a touch, with only someone’s words.

  It was incredibly frustrating, of course, but it made Sean so hard, sometimes, it was all he could do not to jump Clint. It was taking all of his self-control now not to move across the bathroom and kiss him, but he forced himself to stay, forced himself to let Clint dictate the pace.

  Clint was still leaning against the door, still making no move to go to Sean. “Do you like me fucking you while there’s someone just on the other side of the door?”

  Sean swallowed. He met Clint’s eyes head on, his cock throbbing and pulsing in his pants. The heat between them was incredible. “Yes.”

  “And maybe someone talks to you through the door, while my dick’s in your ass, while I’m fucking you.”

  Sean was almost panting. “Fuck, yes.”

  “And you have to respond, but I’m fucking you so good, you can’t even say anything. So you moan a response.”

  Sean could feel it happening to him, could feel it as if it was real. Feeling like he was losing his mind, he whispered, “Clint, please.”

  Clint’s eyes were intense, focused. “Do you want me to fuck you right now, Sean?”

  “Yes,” Sean moaned in response.

  “Well, I won’t.”

  Stunned, Sean stared. He felt almost disoriented by the response. Clint was smiling. “I’m going to suck your cock.”

  His cock had deflated a little at Clint’s initial no, but it roared back to life with such rapidity, Sean felt a little weak and briefly wondered if he’d lost critical blood to his crotch.

  But a rational part of him had to speak up. “Wait, Clint, you don’t have to do that just because you think I’m angry with you.”

  Because Sean knew what it was like. He knew that kissing, fucking-those were much easier to handle than blowjobs. He knew that blowing a guy was hard-no pun intended-that it required a kind of mental acceptance about the whole sex-with-a-guy thing that maybe Clint still hadn’t quite gotten. It was gritty, it was real and-it was in your fucking face.

  He didn’t want Clint doing anything he was uncomfortable with. He didn’t want it to taint Clint’s first time. Whatever else, that part of their relationship shouldn’t be affected.

  Clint rolled his eyes. “Do you like killing the mood?”

  Sean grinned. “A little, yes. Want to turn me on again?”

  Clint looked pointedly at Sean’s crotch. “I don’t think I need to,” he said, smiling wickedly.

  Sean sighed a little. His dick would betray him at a moment like this, of course. “He’s got a mind of his own.”

  Clint laughed easily. “I like his mind better than yours right now.”

  Sean huffed, feeling warmth spread through him. It had been a long time since things had been this light between them. “Well, I get say.”

  Clint folded his arms across his chest. “Oh? And what’re you saying?”

  “I’m saying… Suck my cock already.” Sean felt his cheeks heat at the blunt, brazen words, but he wasn’t in the mood for games, wasn’t in the mood for being teased. He wanted release. He wanted Clint’s mouth. Right now.

  Clint’s jaw had dropped. But he recovered quickly, smiling. “I will.”

  “Good.”

  “Good.”

  Sean stared at him, feeling himself flush in embarrassment and arousal. “Well, do it, then.”

  Clint straightened, dropping his arms to his sides. His eyes were very intense. He walked slowly over to Sean, making eye contact the whole time. Sean felt himself swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. His cock was aching and leaking in anticipation.

  When he was right in front of Sean, their chests touching, thighs brushing, Clint stopped. He smiled, and leaned in.

  Just as Sean was closing his eyes in expectation of the kiss, he felt Clint dropping and his lids snapped open in confusion. Disoriented, he glanced down and saw Clint on his knees, flashing a quick grin up at Sean.

  Sean immediately leaned against the bathroom wall, knees weakening at the sight of Clint kneeling in front of him, face turned upwards. Clint’s hands went to Sean’s jeans, slowly undoing them. His hands were remarkably steady, methodical.

  Sean felt his heart speeding up in anticipation. He hadn’t had a blowjob in a long time, and the realization that it was Clint-Clint-who would be doing this for him-it made it incredible. He remembered fantasizing about this, remembered countless nights in his bed, stroking himself to the thought of Clint taking him like this.

  He was starting to breathe heavily as Clint slowly unzipped him. Clint didn’t push the jeans down, simply pulled his cock free from the boxers, and something about being fully clothed while being sucked was even hotter-almost as if they were actually pretending that they had no time, that people were waiting outside, that they had to hurry.

  Sean found himself touching Clint’s hair gently, sifting through the soft strands. Clint glanced up briefly
, meeting Sean’s eyes as he leaned forward, enveloping the head of Sean’s cock in his mouth. Sean moaned at the sensation, eyes riveted to Clint’s.

  Seeing Clint do it and feeling it at the same time was overwhelmingly sensual, almost too erotic. It was so arousing Sean wanted to come right there and then, but he closed his eyes, desperate not to finish too quickly, to ruin Clint’s first blowjob like that.

  Clint was a little timid at first, awkward at the way he moved his mouth over Sean’s cock. He licked tentatively, moving his tongue slowly up and down Sean’s shaft. It wasn’t wholly pleasurable but Sean knew this was a matter of learning too so he let Clint do it, let Clint experiment.

  Clint’s cheeks were redder than Sean had ever seen it and he wondered what must be going through Clint’s head right now. But he didn’t have time to ponder it as Clint took Sean’s cock deep into his mouth, engulfing Sean in warm, wet heat.

  Sean panted, trying to stifle his moans, and suddenly, astonishingly, Clint was deep throating him and Sean cried out in pleasure, unable to control himself. Clint’s throat was spasming a little around him and it felt tight and hot and so good.

  Clint begin to bob on Sean’s cock slowly after that, his mouth drooling despite himself. But Sean couldn’t stop moaning, couldn’t stop saying Clint’s name like it was a prayer. He was bucking his hips into Clint’s face now, being a little rough with Clint.

  Clint braced his hands on Sean’s hips, but allowed Sean to fuck his mouth. He looked up at Sean, meeting his eyes, and the image of Clint, lips stretched obscenely around Sean’s cock was so filthy, so dirty, so fucking hot, that Sean came.

  He moaned out loud long and low, his hips tiredly rocking into Clint’s mouth, thrusts getting slower and slower. It overflowed, spilling onto Clint’s chin, but Clint continued to suck, to stroke Sean’s cock, milking it during the last few seconds of Sean’s orgasm.

  When Sean was finally done, when he softened, Clint pulled his mouth off and tore himself some toilet paper, wiping his face. He balled up the soiled tissue and tossed it in the bin, aim absolutely perfect.

  He got to his knees slowly and they smiled at each other, Sean drowsily and Clint affectionately, and just as Sean was expecting a kiss, which was what he got every time they had sex, Clint instead leaned against him, burying his face in Sean’s neck, his arms coming around Sean’s waist.

  Surprised by it, Sean wrapped his arms around Clint in return.

  “Tighter,” Clint whispered.

  Sean’s throat was suddenly tight with emotion. He squeezed Clint hard, nuzzling his face and brushing kisses over the side of Clint’s head.

  “Sean, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Sean,” Clint said, his voice muffled against Sean’s throat. “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant to. I was just so out of my mind. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry-”

  Sean hushed him, overwhelmed. “Stop, stop, baby, stop.” He tried to turn Clint’s face, but Clint resisted, burying his face even deeper against Sean’s shoulder. So Sean gave up, simply kissing the side of Clint’s face fiercely, and hugging him tight.

  They stood like that for a long time.

  And when they finally parted, Clint followed Sean up to the bedroom without a word, and they slept together all night, on their own sides of the bed, but fingers lightly touching

  “I’m staying.” The words floated into Sean’s ears and went straight to his heart.

  ***

  “I don’t love you,” Clint said thoughtfully.

  Thoroughly fed up, Sean swore and got up again. Laughing hard now, Clint called after him, following Sean to the living room. “Wait, you didn’t let me finish!”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” Sean said, plopping on the couch, so disgruntled he wanted to smack Clint hard.

  “Are you sure?” Clint asked teasingly, sitting right next to Sean.

  Sean knew it was childish, but he immediately inched away. Clint, infuriatingly, moved even closer. “I’m very sure.”

  “Well,” Clint said, trying to thread his fingers through Sean, who batted it away. “I wanted to say that I don’t love you because it’s something more than that.”

  Sean turned to Clint, genuinely surprised. Clint rarely opened up like this. “What’s more than love?”

  Clint smiled slightly, clearly embarrassed. “How I feel about you.”

  Sean laughed. He leaned into Clint suddenly, kissing him impulsively. He intended it to be a quick kiss, meant to show how much he appreciated their relationship, but Clint didn’t break the kiss, following Sean when he tried to move back.

  Sean felt himself hardening almost immediately. It had been a few weeks since they’d had sex. Clint had flown back to Ivern and then right back to him. He was keeping his promise. He was staying.

  Now, he was suddenly ravenous for Clint-the emotion of the situation, of having Clint back made him desperate. Like a lightning bolt to his crotch, his cock came to life, throbbing in his pants. Clint seemed equally hungry for Sean and they clawed at each other’s clothes.

  Sean’s t-shirt came off first, landing softly on the floor. He helped Clint remove his own shirt and they kissed like that for a few moments, naked skin pressed together, burning on contact. The kiss was sloppy, rough, tongues lapping hotly against each other.

  Sean felt their teeth grind against each other, but he didn’t care. Clint was pushing Sean down on the couch and he willingly lay back, spreading his legs so Clint could press a thigh against his crotch. It throbbed hard at the contact and Sean couldn’t help but arch his hips, a small moan escaping him.

  He could feel Clint hard against his own thigh. The thin material of their pajamas left nothing to the imagination and this was both doubly frustrating and arousing.

  Clint’s mouth was hard and hot against him and Sean felt himself continuously buck up into Clint’s thigh, aching for more. He was throbbing and leaking and so fucking ready.

  When Clint broke the kiss, gasping, Sean, who was in no mood for foreplay, could only murmur, “Lube, lube.”

  Clint cursed, clambering off. Sean rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into Clint’s velvet couch, trying desperately to calm himself down while he waited for Clint to fetch the lube. His cock pressed hard into the cushions and it was both painful and incredible.

  Somehow the wait made it hotter and he felt himself get more and more aroused at the thought of what was going to happen in a few minutes. When he felt Clint’s hand brushing his shoulder, he made to roll on his back, utterly desperate for Clint now, but Clint stilled him.

  “No. Stay like that.”

  Sean shut his eyes tightly, almost moaning in anticipation. When he felt Clint’s hands pulling his pants down, he lifted his hips and Clint drew his boxers down too in one swift motion. He could hear Clint’s breathing louder than usual and the sound aroused him.

  “Please,” he whispered.

  He felt Clint’s hand tightening around his thigh in response. He could hear Clint moving around and when Clint brushed his ass gently, saying, “Kneel, Sean,” he did so immediately.

  He felt vulnerable, laid open, and so achingly hard for Clint, his cock almost brushing his stomach. He felt Clint’s finger rub gently around his entrance and, for once, Sean didn’t complain about how slow Clint was going. The anticipation made it hotter and when Clint’s first lubed finger stretched him slowly, finally, he felt every tiny centimeter as it moved inside him. He let out a long low moan at that first touch.

  Nothing could beat that first touch, that first thrust, that first entry. The dark pain-pleasure of it, the stretching and the utter eroticism-no subsequent thrusts could match it for sheer beauty, sheer raw sensation.

  And so Sean savored it, let his eyes fall shut, let his mind close down to everything but Clint’s finger giving him everything he’d wanted. He concentrated on that finger as if it were a lifeline, as Clint found a rhythm, pumping in and out slowly.

  Sean waited and waited, but Clint seemed content to fuck Sean with one finger
forever so finally Sean gasped, “Please, Clint.”

  So Clint obliged, gradually adding another finger, the stretch both painful and making Sean harder. Sean rode his fingers almost instinctively, his breaths coming as sighs as he felt Clint’s oiled fingers slide smoothly in and out of him, scissoring, stretching Sean.

  He brushed Sean’s prostate only after a while, whether because he was teasing Sean or because he had forgotten where it was, Sean didn’t know.

  The pleasure of it surprised Sean, almost as if his body had forgotten how good it could be. He arched his spine in reaction, catching his breath sharply. Clint’s fingers stilled too, but then he kept moving inside Sean, taking care to touch his prostate each time.

  It was getting intensely pleasurable now and Sean wanted to give in, wanted to reach under his body and pump himself into a lazy, achingly good orgasm. But he wanted to come with Clint and so he waited, waited for Clint to stretch him out.

  When he couldn’t wait any longer, he gasped Clint’s name. “Please, please.”

  Clint’s hand came to rest on Sean’s spine. Sean took a deep breath, willing his body to relax as Clint slowly removed his fingers. Sean felt his asshole clench in response and he moaned in embarrassment, cheeks flushing with even more color.

  But then he felt Clint cock brush his entrance. He began to breathe harder, the anticipation making his skin prickle, and when Clint slowly sank in, Sean bit his lip, squeezing his eyes tight.

  It was more painful than Sean had remembered and he gritted his teeth. The first few thrusts made Sean deflate a little and he felt himself get a little anxious at the pain. But then Clint started to brush his prostate with every slow thrust and Sean started relaxing.

  It was starting to feel good. Sean bit his lip, trying not to moan as Clint began to move just that tiny bit faster, his pumps just a little harder. Sean’s head dropped, his world reduced only to sensation-Clint’s cock in and out, sending zings of pleasure as it brushed again and again against Sean’s prostate.

  When Clint grinded against him, Sean let out the moan he’d been holding. He was a mess after that, murmuring Clint’s name in increasingly louder tones, gasping and crying out.