A Tale of Two Christmas Letters

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

As the meal concluded, Lucille Lockhart leaned close. “Are you feeling okay, dear?” asked the philanthropist, whose charitable foundation funded the WTWA.

  Bess shook herself out of her funk and forced a smile. “Of course! Why do you ask?”

  Lucille peered at her with obvious concern. “You’re usually so lively. Tonight you’ve hardly said a word.”

  “Sorry.” Bess struggled with her mixed feelings of guilt and frustration and tried to get her mood back on track. “I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Anything I can do?” the lovely sixtysomething widow asked.

  No, Bess thought as she said her good-nights and headed off, but there was something she could do. If it wasn’t too late.

  Unfortunately, moving through the ballroom took longer than she’d hoped. By the time she reached Jack, he was exiting the ballroom, the two women on either side of him, linking arms with him.

  “...such great music in Deep Elum...we’re all going...it’d be the perfect way to celebrate the great seminar we gave today...”

  Oblivious to the fact she was behind him, Jack continued with them, down the hallway, past the elevators and into the lobby, toward the exit.

  Bess knew she could race to catch up, somehow insinuate herself into the group and possibly into the outing, as well. But somehow it didn’t seem worth it.

  Besides, after the way she had summarily dismissed him the night before, what if he didn’t want to see her? What if, instead, he was looking for more rebound fun? If he were, she knew she only had herself to blame. She could have spent last night locked in his arms, had she only been brave enough to take him up on his invitation. But she hadn’t been. Once again she had made the wrong decision in the moment and missed out on an opportunity for happiness.

  With a sigh, she ducked away from the crowd and into the nearest elevator. Then she let herself into the suite, where Jack’s clothing was in as much disarray as hers. She promptly burst into tears.

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, Jack opened the door to the suite. Bess was sitting on the love seat. She was still wearing the sexy scarlet cocktail dress and heels she’d had on earlier. She had a crumpled tissue in hand. Her cheeks were pink, her pretty face stained with tears.

  “What’s going on?” he asked in alarm.

  “Nothing.” She jumped, as if startled, and turned toward him in chagrin. Rising, both hands knit in front of her, she admitted, “I didn’t expect you to be back.”

  He studied the agonized expression on her face. “And yet I am.” He closed the distance between them and took her trembling hand in his. “Seriously, darlin’, what’s got you so upset? Has something happened?”

  She sighed tremulously, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, and buried her face in her hands. “No, no.”

  “Then...?”

  Her lower lip quivering, she dropped her hands, pivoted and paced away. She stood staring out at the glittering array of city lights visible through the hotel window. Her expression was troubled. “I’m just having a moment.”

  He looked around until he found a box of tissues, then brought her a fistful and shoved them into her hand. “The holidays got you down again?”

  Jack wasn’t sure whether the sound that escaped her was a pent-up sob or a bitter laugh. “Something like that.”

  Given that it appeared to be some kind of man trouble, and he knew he hadn’t done anything to hurt her, he put his arm around her shoulders and asked gruffly, “This doesn’t have anything to do with Tim Briscoe, does it?”

  Bess drew in another halting breath and turned, her soft body brushing his. “Honestly? I told you that Tim and I were just going to be friends.” She shook her head and put up her hands as if to ward him off. “I probably just need to wash my face and go to bed.”

  He couldn’t stand the raw vulnerability in her gaze. He moved to block her path. “Please don’t shut me out like that. Gayle used to do it whenever she was upset with me, and it drove me crazy.”

  Bess paused to blot the moisture from her face. “What makes you think you have anything to do with this?”

  Jack shrugged. He might not know what was going on, but he sensed by the way Bess was continuing to react to him that he was somehow in the middle of it. “Instinct,” he replied.

  She straightened. “Why are you even back here?” she countered unhappily. “Why aren’t you out on the town?”

  So she was jealous? That was a twist. “Because I hate clubbing.” Surveying the new wave of color coming into her face, he asked, “Why aren’t you out on the town?”

  She stepped nearer. “Because I hate clubbing.”

  They smiled.

  “It makes me feel really rural and small town,” Bess continued.

  Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Small-town values like hard work, family and community were the very foundation of his life. “So,” Jack said, “that’s something else we have in common.” He worked off his tie, tossed off his jacket. “I promise, I’m a good listener.”

  “I know. It’s just...embarrassing.”

  Settling in for a long talk, he undid the first couple of buttons of his shirt, rolled up his sleeves. “I’ve had my share of embarrassing times, too.”

  “Well, I thought I had managed not to be so all-over-the-place emotionally this year during the holidays. That there weren’t going to be as many crazy ups and downs, that I would be on more of an even keel.”

  He walked over to the minibar. “That’s pretty much the holidays, isn’t it?”

  Bess kicked off her shoes and settled on the love seat. “Not for Bridgett.”

  “Really?” He pulled out two beers and a couple of packages of peanuts. “’Cause I could have sworn I heard your sister complaining about her swollen ankles and heartburn the other day at the hospital.”

  “Well, that’s just because she’s pregnant.” Bess curled her legs up underneath her, spreading out the skirt of her dress around her. “It’s very unusual for Bridgett to grouse about anything.”

  “Okay, then what about me?”

  Bess scoffed. “You’re fine.”

  “Really?” He handed her a chilled beer, then unscrewed the top of the other one. “Guess you missed me stressing over what to get the girls for Christmas, when what I really should have been doing was exalting over the fact that I have three lovely daughters to buy gifts for.”

  She conceded this with a small smile.

  Jack clinked bottles with her. “My point is, darlin’...” They both paused to sip. “...December is a month of heightened emotions for everyone. You’ve got to stop being so tough on yourself.”

  Her normal good humor crept back into her smile. “All right, all right, Doc, I’ll try.”

  He opened up the packet of peanuts and spilled some into her palm. “Now, as to your hit from the green-eyed monster, that was kind of cute.”

  Bess winced. “It was embarrassing.”

  “Then we’re even.” He ate a few peanuts. “Because as you recall, I’ve had the same reaction to Tim Briscoe.”

  “Nothing happening there,” she reiterated.

  “And nothing happening with me and anyone else, either,” Jack said in the same stern tone. “So.” He let his gaze drift over the delicate features of her face. “Back to my original question, darlin’. What had you crying your heart out tonight?”

  For a moment, he thought she wasn’t going to answer. Then, her expression full of that steely determination he knew so well, she asked, “You really want to know?”

  He caught her wrist and felt her pulse quicken beneath his fingertips. “Yeah, I really do.”

  She inhaled. “I think I made a mistake telling you that I only wanted to make love with you once.”

  He kept his eyes locked with hers. “It wasn’t true?” Hot damn, he had hoped as much.

  “Nope.” Her expr
ession turned droll. “Not in the least.”

  Jack couldn’t help but note how pretty she looked, with her fresh, glowing skin, bright eyes and kissably soft lips. “Then why did you say it?”

  “Because I thought you might regret our rebound fling and that it could become really awkward, and I wanted to give you an easy out.”

  They exchanged rueful smiles. He tore his glance from her lips with effort. “The only thing I regret is not being honest with you last night. I didn’t want us to be one and done, either.”

  She stood and roamed the living area of the suite restlessly. “The thing is, Jack...” She spun around to face him, her luscious backside resting against the desk. “...I know how you feel about not ever marrying again, that you already have your kids.”

  Knowing where this was going, he concluded grimly, “And that, plus my vasectomy, puts me out of the running for anything permanent or long-lasting, as far as you’re concerned.”

  “It really should.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  She came toward him and perched on the edge of the love seat. “After last night? All I want is to be with you again. Which is why I was so jealous tonight, when I saw you with those two women.”

  He sat knee to knee with her. “They’re just colleagues.”

  “They want to be more than colleagues, Jack.”

  “Yeah, I got that,” he said, glad they had each let down their guard enough to talk about this. “But I’m not interested. I walked them out to the valet and said my goodbye as soon as the taxi got there, so they wouldn’t spend more time trying to convince me to go out with them.” He set his bottle aside and reached over to take both her hands in his. “When all I really wanted to do was find you and see if we could spend a little more time together tonight. Whether as friends or something more.”

  Bess perked up. “How about friends with benefits? At least through the holidays?”

  Now that she put it like that, Jack thought, a casual relationship wasn’t what he wanted from her at all. Fearing they were already limiting their connection way too fast, he reeled her in close and shifted her over onto his lap.

  Still, he could take what he could get now and renegotiate for more later. He gave her the agreement she was looking for. “Most definitely through the holidays.” He lowered his mouth to hers, felt her lips tremble even as they parted. Connection made, he let himself revel in the taste and feel of her.

  And after that, we can reassess, see where things stand.

  He sighed his pleasure. Their bodies grew closer, their kiss intensified. “Sounds good to me,” he growled.

  Her fingers opened the buttons on his shirt. “So...for the immediate future...we’re exclusive?”

  “Definitely exclusive,” he verified.

  * * *

  Bess had never been a particularly sexual person, but Jack made her feel white-hot. All woman. As in need of the emotional comfort and physical satisfaction he was able to give as she was eager to give it in return.

  As he continued kissing her hotly, fervently, it no longer seemed like such a risky thing. Yes, they were living in the moment. But as they left their clothes in the living area and moved to the king-size bed, their liaison also seemed inevitable.

  Engaging her every sense, he made his way down her body, thoroughly and patiently exploring, indulging every fantasy she had ever had. Shifting from the erotic to the tender and back again, until there only was fierce driving need, only this instant in time as he made her his, and she claimed him in return.

  Yielding to him, she trembled as he kissed and caressed her, tracing the petal softness with his fingertips until the moisture flowed. He teased the sensitive insides of her thighs, following with his lips, leaving a path of fire. Switching places, she did the same for him. Tempting and tantalizing, learning anew, until he brought her up to face him, and her hips rose up to meet his as he touched and rubbed and fondled.

  Clearly finding her as ready for love as he seemed to be, he slid his hands beneath her and lifted her against him. Her thighs slid open, she met him stroke for stroke, and the warmth of his body gave new heat to hers.

  Awash in sensation, her head falling back, she let the abandon overtake her. And then she was moaning, soft and low in her throat, listening to his guttural cry as they tumbled into ecstasy and beyond.

  Slowly, they came back to earth. Jack slid a hand down her spine, cuddling her close. “Better?” he asked.

  Feeling freer and happier than ever before, she smiled and pressed a kiss against his chest. “Oh, yes.” She snuggled against him, loving the way he felt, so strong and solid and male.

  It had never been like her to throw caution to the wind like this, never mind open up her heart to someone who she’d known from day one was never going to be able to love her back, at least not the way she wanted.

  But when Jack held her and kissed her and made love to her like this, all she could think about was how right he felt pressed up against her. How strong and kind and caring. How understanding and dependable. And she needed that, more than she could even admit, at least for the next few weeks.

  So, for once, she decided, as they began to make slow, easy love all over again, she was going to forget trying to figure out if this was all rebound on his part or hers.

  And simply enjoy the holidays. With him. And treasure the best present she had ever had.

  Chapter Ten

  Jack’s girls gave him a hero’s welcome when he got back from Dallas, and they were still feeling incredibly affectionate when Bess dropped by after dinner to see them, too.

  As always, the trio looked adorable, with their tousled blond curls, delicate features, pink cheeks and big blue eyes. They wore matching red-and-white-striped turtlenecks, jeans and colorful Christmas socks and sneakers.

  “Bess! Bess! Bess!” they chanted as she walked in the door.

  She’d no sooner gotten her coat off and handed it to Jack than they led her to the sofa and settled in close. “Try our cookies, Bess!” Lindsay said. “We made them at Grandma and Grandpa’s ranch!”

  The rolled sugar cookies were her favorite holiday confection, and these were perfectly imperfect, with their slightly burned edges, unevenly applied buttercream frosting and overabundance of sprinkles. Clearly, they’d been made with lots and lots of love.

  “Daddy ate three!” Chloe reported. “One from each of us!”

  “I guess I’ll have to keep up, then.”

  The girls chattered while she munched. “Well, do you like them?” Nicole asked, eager to please as always.

  Bess smiled and dabbed the corners of her lips with a napkin. “They are absolutely delicious.”

  “How about another one for me?” Jack said.

  “Just one.” Taking charge, Lindsay propped her hands on her hips and warned, “We have to save some for Santa Claus.”

  Jack looked at the dwindling supply on the plate, seeming as reluctant to ration those as he had been his kisses and caresses. He smiled at his daughters. “That’s not for another couple of weeks. Do you really think that there will be any left?”

  Three sets of brows furrowed, contemplating the chances of that.

  Jack took the opportunity to settle next to Bess on the center of the couch. He draped his arm along the back, as if inviting her to snuggle with him the way she had already snuggled with his girls.

  His voice cheerful, he continued, “Don’t you think it would be better to put out some fresh new cookies for Santa Claus?”

  “We can always make more,” Bess said, eager to put any worry to rest.

  The girls moved in to drape themselves across Jack’s and Bess’s laps. In that instant, she had a glimpse of what life might have been like with her and Jack, had he not already had the love of his life.

  A trio of faces turned toward her. “Will you help us, Bess? Because we n
eed adult supervision to do stuff in the kitchen. That’s the rule.”

  Too late she realized she should have cleared it with Jack before blurting out her offer. Making love with him hadn’t just brought her back to life in the most wonderful of ways, it had lowered the barriers between them. Dangerously so. “If it’s okay with your daddy...” she said, aware she may have overstepped.

  His eyes twinkled with merriment, telling her she hadn’t. “Only if I get to help.”

  Nicole switched places with Lindsay, eased onto Bess’s lap and wreathed her arms around her neck. “Did you write a letter to Santa Claus, Bess?”

  She hesitated, feeling like she was about to walk into a minefield. Jack was no help. “No,” she explained carefully. “Grown-ups don’t really do that.”

  Chloe frowned. “Then how are you going to get what you want for Christmas?”

  Like a gift-wrapped Jack? Bess warned herself to calm down. Be sensible. Remember the fling with Jack was only a fling. “I get presents from my two sisters and two brothers.”

  The girls sighed their relief. Apparently, they didn’t want to think her unhappy any more than their daddy did. “Do you give them presents, too?” Nicole asked.

  “Yes, I do.”

  The girls contemplated that.

  “And I’m getting a new puppy, remember?” Bess soothed. She really did not want them to worry about her.

  The mention of her new puppy did the trick.

  “When does Lady Grace get to come home?” Lindsay asked.

  “December 19th.”

  Chloe took her thumb out of her mouth long enough to ask, “Will we be able to visit her?”

  “Yes.” Bess smiled. “But we’ll have to wait a little bit, till Lady Grace gets acclimated.”

  Nicole’s brows knit together in confusion. “What’s...acclimated?”

  “Used to being at my house,” Bess said, wishing she didn’t have to hide anything from the girls, even though she knew it was imperative. “That way it won’t be too many changes for her all at once. Because too many changes can scare a puppy.” And a woman my age, too. “But once she settles in, I promise you all can visit her a lot.”