by E. L. Todd
“Yes!” I slammed my fist into my chest. “Fuck yeah. I knew that would work. Hallelujah.”
Trinity clapped her hands together. “So you guys are gonna work on your relationship?”
“Yes.” Skye was smiling, and she was truly smiling. For the past few months all of her grins had been forced and full of sadness. “I’m so grateful.” She turned to me and hugged me tightly. “I owe you everything.”
I didn’t like to hug people besides my wife. It was just weird. But I let the affection linger because she was my cousin and needed affection. I patted her back. “I told you everything would work out. He would have come back eventually but he would have taken much longer.”
“And every second would have felt like an eternity.” She finally pulled away, her eyes a little watery.
“Good,” Conrad said. “It just doesn’t feel right without you two together…really awkward.”
“So, what’s next?” Trinity asked. “What are you guys gonna do?”
“I don’t know,” Skye said. “I didn’t want to push him, you know?”
“Good idea,” I said.
“What about your dad?” Trinity asked. “Are they okay?”
Skye looked sad all over again. “I’m not sure if Cayson will ever forgive him. I’ll work on that but we need to work on our relationship first.”
“Yeah,” Slade said. “Definitely wait until you guys are good again before you work toward that. He’ll forgive Sean but he won’t do it overnight.”
“I don’t know…” Conrad shook his head. “I love my Uncle Sean but what he did was pretty fucked up.”
“We all make mistakes,” Skye said immediately. “If everyone marked our flaws against us then we would never have anyone.”
We all exchanged looks because we knew she was right. I was guilty of a lot of stupid things, and so was Trinity. Conrad was in the midst of making every mistake imaginable. Forgiveness was the only way we would ever find peace.
Chapter Fifteen
Skye
I really messed up my relationship with Cayson.
If I’d just calmed down and listened to him none of this would have happened. He’d been the perfect man to me from the beginning, even when we were struggling years ago.
Why did I have to ruin it?
I really did love him, even if I didn’t prove it recently. I was so grateful he loved me enough to give this another try. That was the only thing saving me from total destruction. And if our relationship was ever right again I would make sure I didn’t mess it up again.
I really hurt him and I refused to ever do it again.
I didn’t contact him because Slade thought it was best if I gave him space. He needed to come to me when he was ready and I didn’t want to overwhelm him. I spent my afternoons alone in my house watching TV and reading. My stomach was only getting bigger and I was getting more uncomfortable.
My phone rang and Cayson’s name appeared on the screen.
My heart sped up and I snatched the phone. “Hello?” I answered on the first ring because I didn’t have the grace to wait a few seconds.
“Hey.” His voice was quiet, like he wasn’t sure how to go about our situation.
I took the reigns. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. Just at home.”
“Me too.” Mainly because I never went anywhere anymore.
“Have you eaten?”
Oh my god, was he going to ask me to have dinner with him? I tried not to sound too excited. “No.”
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
“Yes, I’d love to.” I said it a little too enthusiastically but I couldn’t control myself.
“Are you ready now?”
“Yeah, I can meet you in the city.”
“No, I’ll pick you up.”
“Okay.” I wasn’t going to argue with him.
“I’ll be there soon.”
***
I wore a black dress that put my belly on display. At this size it was impossible to hide it, and it was more impossible to look attractive in anything. Even though I was just pregnant I felt like a cow.
When I opened the door Cayson looked me up and down. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” He wore dark jeans with a gray shirt. The blazer he wore made his shoulders look nice. “You look handsome too.”
He eyed my stomach. “You’re getting so big…”
“I know.” My hand automatically went to my stomach.
He placed his over mine then looked into my eyes.
I actually felt a shiver down my spine.
“I’m so excited for him to get here.”
“Me too…” I was a mother without a child. I wanted him to come into the world and be in my arms.
He pulled his hand away. “Are you ready?”
“Always.”
“Then let’s go.” He walked out with me but didn’t touch me. His wedding band was still on his finger, and of course I still wore mine. When we got to his truck, he opened the door for me and helped me inside. Then he got into the driver’s seat. “What are you hungry for?”
“You know me, Cayson. I eat anything.”
He chuckled. “Like I could ever forget.” He pulled onto the road and we sat in silence. It was tense like I expected it to be but at least we were together. He normally held my hand when we drove together. But now his touch was absent.
We made it into the city and Cayson parked along the curve. He paralleled parked like a pro even though he was in a large truck. Personally, I could never pull that off. I simply wasn’t that talented.
We entered the restaurant and took our seats. Like always, Cayson pulled out the chair for me and helped me sit down. When he scooted my chair in he placed his hand over the edge of the table so I wouldn’t accidentally bump into it. Then he sat across from me, looking beautiful like always.
I grabbed my menu and wished my heart would stop beating so fast. I couldn’t believe we were here, having dinner just the way we used to.
Cayson scanned the menu and found what he wanted immediately, like always. He set it down then ordered two glasses of water. Once everything was ordered and the menus were gone we just stared at each other.
Emotion caught in my throat. “I’m really sorry, Cayson…” I knew I shouldn’t say that but I meant it. I really hurt him and I would always regret it.
“I know.” He held my gaze like he was sincere.
“Thank you for giving me another chance. I know all of this is hard for you.”
“You’re the one.” He said it with a long sigh. “And you’ll always be the one.”
I was so lucky that was the case. Cayson could get any girl he wanted. The fact he wanted only me was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. “You’re the one to me too…”
“I know,” he said with a nod. “Which is why I’m going to give this another try. But Skye…this is the last one. I mean that.” He didn’t blink as he stared at me.
“I understand.” I already didn’t deserve another chance after what I did, let alone another one after that. “You’ll never understand how much I regret what happened. I’m ashamed of myself for not listening to you. Even if you ever do forgive me and we put this behind us…I’ll never forgive myself for putting you through that for so long.”
He broke my gaze like the words were too much. He glanced out the window before he turned back to me. “If we get through this, I would never want you to hold it against yourself like that. I know I’ve made mistakes and you’ve never held them against me.”
“You never make mistakes, Cayson.” I couldn’t help but release a painful chuckle.
“I do,” he said. “When we were apart I couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted. I dragged you through the mud for a long time. I know that was painful.”
“It’s nothing compared to this, Cayson.”
He sipped his water then looked out the window.
“How was work?” The conversation became extrem
ely tense. I thought I should change the subject.
“There’s an antibiotic going around that’s no longer effective against super resistant bacteria. We’re trying to figure out a supplement to fix the problem. Unfortunately, when bacteria grow stronger the antibiotics remain the same. It doesn’t evolve quickly enough. For the young and the elderly it’s a serious problem.”
Sometimes it was difficult for me to follow all his science talk but I did my best to understand it. “That sounds scary.”
“It can be. The more antibiotics health care professionals provide, the stronger it gets. It’s a catch 22. How are people supposed to get better unless they get antibiotics? But if they get antibiotics the bacteria becomes stronger. It’s a whole ordeal…”
“Good thing you’re there to help everyone.”
He shrugged. “I do my best but most of the time things are out of my hands.”
“I’m really glad things worked out this way for you. There’s no better man for the job.”
“Well…thank you.”
Our conversation was still strained and I hoped it wouldn’t be this way forever.
“How’s the baby?”
“Good. He kicks when I’m at work…not sure why.”
He smiled. “Looks like he’s going to be lazy…”
“He got that from me.”
Cayson chuckled. “Brainstormed any names?”
There was one name in particular but I chose not to say it. “Not really. You?”
“I like Sawyer.”
“Like Tom Sawyer?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s cute…”
“Or Cornelius.”
“From Shakespeare.”
He nodded.
“They’re good…” But I wasn’t in love with them.
“We still have time to figure it out. No rush. We can just call it Baby if we want to.”
I chuckled. “I suppose we could.”
The food arrived and was placed in front of us. I wasn’t that hungry because being around Cayson made me nervous. But I picked up my fork and ate anyway.
“So…how’s Rhett?” Cayson didn’t look at me when he spoke.
“I haven’t talk to him in a while…”
“Yeah?” His tone lightened noticeably.
Rhett completed his assignment and helped me reach my goal so I no longer needed his services. “I told him it was best if we didn’t spend time together anymore.”
Cayson looked at me, and his eyes were full of approval. “Because of me?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He looked down and kept eating. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me…” I didn’t want to make Cayson jealous anymore. That was no longer necessary.
“You told him we were working on our relationship?”
“Yeah. He was happy for me.”
“Doubtful,” he said under his breath.
I let the conversation die because I didn’t want to talk about Rhett anymore. There never really was a Rhett. It’d always been Cayson and I even if he didn’t realize it. “Cayson, what made you decide to give me another chance?”
He stopped eating as he processed my words. “A lot of things.”
“Such as…?”
“Well, for one I don’t want to be without you. It just doesn’t feel right. And I knew one day you would go out with Rhett, and if not him, someone like him. I would be a thing of the past and I would be miserable for the rest of my life. I didn’t want that.”
My eyes softened.
“And my dad told me a story about he and my mom. I guess they hit a rough patch when they were our age. My mom did something pretty bad and my dad left her. But he was so miserable without her that he gave her another chance…and he’s never regretted that.”
“What did she do?” I whispered.
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say. But his words got me thinking…”
I was grateful Cortland said that to him. He was pissed off at my dad but he obviously wanted Cayson and I to be together. “And because of our son?”
“No.” He picked up his fork again.
“You didn’t want to stay together for him?”
“Together or apart that baby will be loved so much. That didn’t come into my play in my decision.”
He only wanted to get back together because he loved me. And that was the sweetest thing in the world. I didn’t know what to say so I looked down at my food.
“Skye?”
“Hmm?” I looked up at him again.
He pulled a business card from his wallet and pushed it across the table toward me. “I made an appointment to see a marriage counselor. I thought it would be good for us.”
I didn’t think we needed outside help to make this work. We just needed time to work out our differences. Love would fix the strained relationship between us. But if this were what Cayson wanted, of course I would give it to him. “Great.” I grabbed the business card and put it in my wallet. “I’ll be there.”
“Thanks.” Cayson obviously expected a fight of some sort. When he didn’t get one, he relaxed.
“Whatever you want, Cayson. I’ll do anything you want to make this work…anything at all.”
His eyes softened when he looked at me. Then he turned back to his food. “I know, Skye.”
***
He walked me to the front door with his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for having dinner with me.”
“Thank you for taking me.” I should be the grateful one of the two of us. I got my key in the door then unlocked it. I stepped aside assuming he would follow me but he didn’t.
He remained on the threshold, right on my mat. “Our appointment is tomorrow afternoon. You’ll be there?”
“Yeah, of course.”
He nodded and didn’t walk forward.
“Would you like to come in? Maybe we could watch a movie or something…?” I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to stay and never go again.
“I should get home…”
His distance hurt but I couldn’t blame him. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
He stared at me for a long time before he finally stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. His chin rested on my head and he kept me close.
I sighed because his touch was so heavenly. I missed it desperately and realized how much I’d taken it for granted. I closed my eyes and locked my arms around his slim waist.
Cayson moved his lips to my forehead and he pressed a gentle kiss there.
It felt so good.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered.
“Okay.” Now it was harder to let go.
He pulled away then walked out, his hands returned to his pockets.
I watched him walk to his truck, knowing my heart was in his back pocket.
***
Dad came into the office at the end of the day. “Hey, pumpkin. You have all those reports done?”
“Yep, like always.” I was always on top of my work, even when I was insanely depressed. Today, I actually felt good. I could breathe normally again. For the past few months my lungs were always tight and restricted.
Dad sat down and regarded me with those intelligent eyes. “You seem better…any reason why?”
I smiled, and it felt good to smile. “Cayson and I are working on our relationship.”
Dad closed his eyes like he was about to break down. He covered his face with his palms and released a deep breath. When he was ready, he lowered his hands and relaxed. “You have no idea how happy that makes me…”
“I’m happy too. We had dinner last night and now we’re going to marriage counseling soon.”
“Marriage counseling…good. That’s very good.”
“I think we’re going to be okay. I mean, we have a long way to go but…we still love each other very much.”
“Love will always find a way,” he whispered. “I’m glad Cayson is such a remarkable human being.” He looked away like he was tryin
g to compose himself. The emotion was in his eyes even though he tried to hide it.
“Dad, he’ll forgive you eventually.”
“I don’t know about that…”
“He will. Just give him time.”
“I let him down when he needed me most. I don’t deserve his forgiveness.”
“He knows you love him.”
Dad stared at the ground and remained silent.
I knew Cayson would forgive him in time. But it definitely would take at least a few months, if not longer.
The office door opened and Cayson stepped inside. He didn’t smile when he looked at me but he didn’t look angry either. He wore his suit because he just got off work. “Hey.” His tone was lighter than it was before, like he was pleased to see me.
I smiled because I couldn’t help it. “Hey.”
Cayson turned to my dad when he realized I was there. Immediately, the slight amount of joy he possessed disappeared like raindrops washing the dirt off a car in the driveway. He stared at him coldly before he looked away and pretended he didn’t exist. “We should get going if we want to make it to our appointment.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” I glanced at my dad before I stood up and grabbed my purse.
Dad rose to his feet and turned to Cayson. “It’s nice to see you.”
Cayson didn’t look at him. “Sure, Mr. Preston.”
Man, this was worse than I thought.
“Skye told me you guys were doing marriage counseling,” Dad said. “I think that’s great.”
Cayson put his hands in his pocket and didn’t turn his way, being as disrespectful as possible, which was highly unusual for him no matter how angry he was. “You told me if I’m ever in the same room as you not to speak to you, not to even look at you. So let me do that and let’s stop the small talk.”
Dad flinched like he was punched in the face. There was no anger in his eyes, just profound sadness. “I wish I never said that, Cayson. I was just angry and—”
“Let’s go, Skye.” He walked out and didn’t look back.
Dad closed his mouth and took a deep breath.
I hated seeing the regret and pain on his face. I gave him a hug because I knew he needed it. “It won’t always be this way. I promise.”
