How to Drive a Dragon Crazy

by G. A. Aiken

  “It wasn’t Uncle Gwenvael.”

  “Then who?” Talaith pushed. “And you might as well tell me now because I’ll just badger you until you do. Ask Izzy.”

  “She really will,” Izzy said on a sigh.

  Rhi looked down at her feet and finally whispered, “It was our great grandmother.”

  “My mother said that to you?” Bercelak asked. “Because she’s been gone from this world for some time, luv.”

  “No.” Rhi cleared her throat. “Adienna.”

  Rhiannon got to her feet so fast that her chair scraped the floor and slammed into the wall. “You spoke to my mother? My mother?” She looked at Bercelak. “I did kill her, didn’t I? I know she tried to use you to murder me first, Bercelak, but then I clearly remember the life draining from her body while I snapped her neck with that chain and my bare hands. I didn’t dream that, did I?”

  Dagmar leaned over and whispered to Gwenvael, “Have I mentioned that I adore your kin?”

  “More than your own?”

  “Do you really have to ask me that?”

  Briec walked up to his youngest daughter and placed his hand against her cheek. “You’ve seen your ancestors. You’ve been to the other side.”

  “Why?” Talaith asked. “Were you called?”

  “No.” Rhi nervously combed her hair behind her ears. “I just thought it would be nice to meet them. They’re kin.”

  Using the tips of his fingers, Briec lifted his daughter’s chin until he could look into her eyes. Eyes like his own. “You traveled to the lands of the dead?”

  She nodded.

  “Where did you learn to travel to the other side?”

  Rhi shrugged. “I just knew.”

  The same answer his daughter had been giving him for more than a decade now. One not given to avoid answering the question but instead proving that her power far exceeded most of theirs. Even his mother, as far as Briec knew, had never traveled to the land of the dead. It was rumored Annwyl had been there, but she’d been dead at the time, so it made sense.

  “Adienna,” Rhiannon asked, stepping closer. “And she was with your Great Grandfather Ailean and Great Grandmother Shalin?”

  “No. She wasn’t there. With them.”

  “By the gods, Rhi,” Talaith gasped, her hands covering her mouth.

  “You’ve been to the hells,” Briec guessed. “You’ve been to the hells and you met with my grandmother.”

  “Not for long.”

  Rhiannon stood beside him now. “Long enough for her to tell you that you, your power is evil.”

  Briec still held her chin so Rhi lowered her eyes. “She said I was just like her. That I’d be taking her place one day. Everything I’ve read about her says she was a treacherous and purely evil female, so if I’m just like her . . .”

  Rhiannon pushed Briec aside and caught hold of his daughter’s chin, gripped it tight. “If you were just like her, my darling girl, I would have killed you at birth. With the same claws that killed her. Trust me when I say you are nothing like her. Nothing. Instead she does to you what she once did to me. She . . . she . . . well, excuse the term, my darling granddaughter, but that bitch fucks with your head. And you believe her.”

  “She seemed nice.”

  Éibhear, who’d been silent for most of this, finally said, “Rhi, luv, she was in hell.”

  “She said it was a misunderstanding.”

  Rhiannon finally laughed as she wrapped her arms around Rhi and held her close. “Trust me . . . there was no misunderstanding with that bitch. She’s where she belongs. And you need to stop thinking the best of everyone. Majority of them don’t deserve it.”

  “Then what is it?” Rhi asked, pulling back a bit so she could look her grandmother in the eyes. “Why can’t I control my power?”

  “From what I can tell, your power is like the most beautiful and worst of nature itself. You’re the tsunami, you’re the hurricane. Your power can destroy, but it can also create something new.”

  “So then I’ll never be able to control it, and I’ll continue to put those I love at risk.”

  “Except Mum says she’s got a brilliant idea about that.”

  Surprised by Izzy’s sarcastic tone, Briec looked to his mate. Her eyes were wide as she stared at their eldest daughter. “Izzy.”

  “Let’s get it out there, Mum. Now. All of it. I mean it’s your idea, might as well stand behind it.”

  “What idea?” Briec cut in.

  “Tell them, Mum.”

  Talaith blew out a breath, closed her eyes. “I thought perhaps. . . we could send Rhi to the Nolwenns for training. Send her to my mother.”

  Briec faced Talaith, gazed at her until he finally admitted, “I’d had the same thought.”

  “Daddy!”

  Her father held his hands up at Izzy’s words. “Before you get upset—”

  “Too late! How could you think about sending my sister to that treacherous bitch?”

  “Because I think we’ve run out of options.”

  Izzy shook her head. “She threw my mother into the street like trash. She was sixteen and alone and with child.”

  Rhi stepped away from their grandmother and walked over to Izzy. “But if she hadn’t done that,” she said softly, “I wouldn’t be here.”

  Izzy rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

  “Well, thank you very much, you mean cow!”

  “Like you thought that line of bullshit would work on me.”

  “Both of you stop it.” Talaith stepped between them. “This isn’t a decision for either of you. Your father and I will make this decision.”

  “But—”

  “So suck up the pain!” her mother yelled at Izzy.

  Growling, Izzy stalked over to the doors and stared out into the courtyard, arms crossed over her chest.

  The hall fell silent and stayed that way until a throat-clear from the stairs had everyone turning. Uncle Bram stood there.

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “So what do the Irons want, peacemaker?” Bercelak demanded of his sister’s mate.

  “Revenge.”

  Annwyl threw her hands up. “What did I do now?”

  It took Great Uncle Bram a few minutes, but he finally convinced Auntie Annwyl that the Rebel King and his sister weren’t looking for revenge against her but instead against Vateria. And while he did that, Rhi sat with her cousins in three chairs pushed up against the wall and watched her mother and sister. They weren’t speaking. Mum was sitting by Daddy and seething. Izzy standing in the Great Hall doorway, staring out into the courtyard . . . and seething.

  Although rare these days, it was never good when Mum and Izzy couldn’t agree on something. This, however, was even worse because this was about Rhi. It wasn’t that she had any great desire to leave her family, but to be honest, if she was going to destroy all around her with a misplaced spell, she’d rather do it to the witch who’d deserted her mum than Rhi’s own family. But trying to explain anything to either her mum or Izzy, when they were both this angry, would be a waste of Rhi’s breath. So she sat and listened to all the high-level politics. Talan was asleep in his chair and Talwyn was busy sharpening her sword, but Rhi was fascinated!

  “How dangerous is she?” Grandmum asked Uncle Bram. “Really?”

  “In my opinion . . . very.”

  “He’s right,” Auntie Annwyl agreed. “I only saw her from the fighting pit, but I remember that I really wanted to kill her. A lot.”

  Grandmum sat down across from Uncle Bram. “What does this Rebel King want from me?”

  “Well, they were hoping that I could help them or their representatives get permission to enter the Desert Lands.”

  Grandmum laughed. “Not with King Heru now in charge!”

  “That’s what I told them. It would be a long, arduous process and I’m sure by then, Vateria would only move on.”

  “So what’s the next option?”

  “We send in our own to track Vateria do
wn.”

  “And why would we do that?”

  “There are many reasons.”

  “Name one that would actually make me care. Because at the moment this seems more like an internal family issue than a political one. And I don’t involve myself in other dragons’ family issues.”

  “I understand, my queen, and normally I’d agree with you. But it’s believed that Vateria is working to secure an ally that will help her family regain their dead father’s throne. With what I’ve been hearing lately about unrest in the Desert Lands, the citizens might be eager for such a move, depending on what she can promise.”

  “I understand that, Bram. And she could be sucking the cocks of every Sand Eater soldier in the hopes of getting her own army. But until she actually puts that army into play for her own benefit, I have no intention of striking her down simply because she doesn’t know how to treat her cousin properly.”

  There was a long silence after Grandmum’s words and she looked around the Great Hall at everyone staring at her and demanded, “What? What are you all looking at?”

  “That was just so”—Auntie Morfyd shrugged—“rational of you.”

  “Aye.” Uncle Fearghus rested his arms against the table and studied his mother. “I thought at the very least you’d send in Keita to poison her.”

  Auntie Morfyd grinned. “I thought that, too!”

  Aghast, Grandmum snapped, “I’m not a monster!”

  “Heh.”

  Everyone looked down the length of the table. Auntie Annwyl covered her mouth. “Oh, did I say that out loud?”

  Grandmum’s eyes narrowed while her children quietly laughed. “I’m not saying Vateria’s not a problem. I’d just prefer we had something a little more concrete on her than she tortures her cousin.” Although to Rhi that alone seemed more than enough.

  “We’ll send someone south,” Uncle Gwenvael suggested. “Get more information and find out if Vateria’s truly a threat or if she’s just fucking one of the Sand Eaters for entertainment.”

  Grandmum nodded. “I like that idea. Who will we send?”

  Izzy, who was still staring out into the courtyard, her arms folded under her chest, looked at Grandmum over her shoulder. “I’ll go.”

  While everyone else took a moment to be stunned, Mum jumped to her feet. “Like hells you will!”

  “I’m going, Mum.”

  “This has nothing to do with Vateria, Izzy. This is all about my mother.”

  Izzy shrugged. “Two vile bitches, one stone.”

  “I forbid it.”

  “I don’t report to you, my lady.” And Rhi winced at that one. “And before Annwyl tries to stay on your good side—”

  “I haven’t said a word!” Auntie Annwyl complained.

  “—keep in mind that none of you can actually blend in while in the south. But I can.”

  “I don’t care what bloody Annwyl says about a bloody thing!” Mum roared. “You will not do this!”

  “Wait.” Daddy gripped Mum’s wrist and pulled her over to him and onto his lap. “Everyone just wait.” He looked Izzy over for a moment. “I’ll ask you straight out, Iseabail, Daughter of Talaith and Briec. . . . Are you planning to kill your grandmother?”

  “I’d like to,” Izzy immediately shot back. “But no. I want to look her in the eye. I want to find out for myself whether my sister can be trusted with her.”

  “And if you think she can be?”

  Izzy rubbed her nose with the palm of her hand, scratched her cheek, then spit out, “Then I’ll bring her here to meet with Rhi.” Her sister looked over and Rhi felt her heart stop in her chest. “You can make your decision then, Rhi, about what you want to do next.”

  Rhi jumped up and sprinted across the room and into her sister’s arms. “Thank you, Izzy! Thank you!”

  Izzy tightly hugged her back. “You’re welcome. But,” she felt the need to add, “if I don’t like the evil cow—”

  “I know. I know.” Rhi bounced on her toes while continuing to hug her sister. “Still! You’re trying!”

  “You can’t go alone, Iseabail,” Uncle Bram warned her. “Although your many weapons and dressing as a warrior will work to your benefit as long as you remove your colors, women don’t usually travel alone in the south. They either travel with family members or other women.”

  “I’ll ask Brannie.”

  “She hates the desert heat, I’m afraid.”

  “I’ll get her drunk first, and she’ll go far enough with me that by the time she sobers up, it’ll be too much trouble to head back.”

  “Ah, yes,” Uncle Bram sighed. “A father does love hearing that about his daughter.”

  Once the decision was made that Izzy would be going and, of course, somehow tricking poor Brannie to go along, she disappeared with Bram to get a quick lesson in Desert Land etiquette; Talaith stormed off, most likely to rant about her firstborn, Briec following her with an eye roll and a sigh; and everyone else went their own way until dinner time. All except Talan, who was still asleep in a chair, snoring.

  Éibhear decided to leave the boy where he was and headed outside. He saw Frederik sitting on the stairs, looking quite bored, and decided to give him a task.

  “Think you can find my friends again?”

  He quickly got to his feet but almost fell off the steps doing so. “Yes, sir. I saw them heading into town earlier today.”

  “Good. Go get them for me, would you? Tell them I need to see them now. So they need to put down whatever ale or whore they may currently have in their hands.”

  With a grin, the first Éibhear could remember seeing from the boy, Frederik nodded. “I will, sir.” Then he charged off. Almost ran into a horse merely standing in the road, minding its own business but . . . well . . . whatever.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

  Éibhear looked down at his mother. “I have. Sorry. Lots of things going on.”

  “I get worried when things are too quiet, so I don’t mind a little activity.” His mother slipped her arm through his and together they walked down the steps. “So . . . you going with Izzy when she heads south?”

  “Do you really have to ask me that?”

  Rhiannon’s head tipped back as she laughed. “No, I guess I don’t.” She patted his arm with her free hand. “But I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Izzy’s a true warrior, with a warrior’s soul. If she thinks for a minute that you’re just trying to protect her—”

  “Don’t worry. I have all sorts of excuses that even she will have to agree with. They’re all very logical and sane . . . unlike her.”

  They stopped in the middle of the courtyard and Rhiannon faced him. “Be careful in the south, my son. They do things differently there.”

  “After the Ice Lands, Mum, I can handle anything.”

  “True. But you didn’t have Iseabail the Dangerous’s adorable little ass distracting you while you were in the Ice Lands.”

  “Mum.”

  “What? I’m not blind. Just remember. She may not be blood, but your brother sees her as his daughter. So you can’t just fuck this one and toss her away like you and your brothers have been doing since you each stumbled out of your eggs. You can’t treat this one like a whore. She’s family!”

  “Mum.”

  “What?”

  Chapter 24

  Izzy was up and dressed before the two suns had risen. She’d slept in her old room in the castle, her sister curled up next to her. Before she walked out the door, Rhi stopped her and hugged her tight.

  “Please be careful.”

  “I will be. I promise.” She kissed both her sister’s cheeks and gave her another hug. “I shouldn’t be long. Don’t fight with Daddy.”

  “Okay.”

  Izzy opened the bedroom door and Rhi added, “And bring me something.”

  “Bring you something? Like what?”

  “Something pretty. But local. But nothing with big bows, small bows are fine. Color-wise, silver and pink
are good. Or very dark reds. No bright reds. And Mum won’t let me wear black yet, but she is okay with blues and—where are you going? Well, I like green, too! Dark green! And good luck, Izzy! I love you!”

  Izzy made it down the stairs, where her father was waiting. He smiled at her. “Silver and pink are her favorite colors, though.”

  “I’ve decided. She’s not allowed to spend any more time alone with Keita. Pink?” she sneered. “Really?”

  Chuckling, Briec leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Please. For the sake of my sanity, be careful. Your mother will be absolutely intolerable if any harm comes to you. And, I will definitely miss someone who irritates me so little.”

  Izzy hugged her father. “I promise to keep myself safe just so you won’t have to hear any complaints from anyone.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Izzy stepped away from her father and pulled her travel bag over her shoulders. “I love you, Daddy.”

  “I love you.”

  She smiled and headed toward the Great Hall doors.

  “And Izzy—” She stopped, faced him. “When you meet your grandmother, think about Rhi. Not your mum. Not you. This is about your sister, don’t forget that.”

  “I’ll remember. I promise not to kill the old bitch unless I have to.”

  Briec quickly looked away, cleared his throat. She knew he wanted to laugh, but he was trying to be stern. She guessed she wasn’t helping him.

  “Thank you for that.”

  Izzy walked to the doors and pulled one open. “Tell Mum I’ll talk to her when I get back.”

  She didn’t wait to hear her father’s response, instead heading down the stairs and across the courtyard to the stables.

  “Morning, General,” one of the stable hands said as he walked out, stopping to hold the door open for her.

  “Morning, Richard.”

  Izzy walked inside but stopped short when she saw her mother standing by Dai’s stall. Dai had his head over the stall gate and Talaith petted him from his forelock down to his muzzle.

  “You’re spoiling him,” Izzy said as she stood on the other side of the horse.