The Cowboy's Twin Surprise

by Stephanie Dees

  He was striking on horseback, always had been. It was no wonder she’d had such a crush on him from the first time he’d stepped into the arena. But really, she knew. He was meant for her. In so many ways, he was meant for her. There was a mountain range of problems between them, but she hoped and prayed they were steadily making progress through them.

  Lacey walked, mug in hand, across the driveway to lean on the fence, so she could see Devin at work. He was so patient and so calm with Dolly. From her new vantage point, she realized that Sadie was in the pasture, too. When Dolly would start to shy, Devin would give Sadie a command and she would take the lead, showing Dolly that there was nothing to fear ahead.

  It was beautiful to watch the rapport between the animals and Devin. He was in his element. Almost as if he’d heard her thoughts, he glanced up, smiling when he saw her standing by the fence. She wondered if he was thinking of last night, too. Her cheeks heated again and she looked down, suddenly feeling shy.

  Tires crunched on the gravel driveway behind her. She turned around as Garrett got out of his SUV, slammed the door and waved. “Hey, it looks like there’s a good crowd at the farm stand today. You hired a teenager to work it?”

  “When she can. We check in on things, replacing the produce and baked goods when we have them.”

  “I want to get some of those zucchini brownies before I go.”

  “Sure.” Lacey heard a noise from the back of Garrett’s SUV. “What was that? Is there an animal in there?”

  Garrett’s face went ruddy. “Uh, yeah. I did some legal work for a farmer I know. He offered to pay me with a couple of kids he was planning to bottle raise.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Oh... Tanner’s gonna kill you.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Garrett laughed, but he walked over to the SUV and opened the back, pulling out a big dog crate and placing it on the ground. When he opened it up, two of the tiniest goats she’d ever seen bounded out. They tilted their heads and let out the sweetest little bleats.

  Fuzzy and white with black markings and little black hooves, they were adorable. One of them kind of toddled over to her and pulled on the leg of her pants with his soft goat lips. If she’d been able to get back up, she would’ve dropped to her knees immediately to cuddle him.

  “Oh, Garrett. They’re so cute.”

  “Right? How could I refuse?”

  From the fence, Devin said, “You say no. That’s how.”

  “You’re one to talk while you’re riding a horse someone gave you.” Garrett grinned. “Tanner’ll get over it. He’s just a little slow to adjust to change.”

  “They’re really cute. I bet Nemo will like having friends.” Lacey leaned over and scratched the littlest one on the head. “What are you naming them?”

  “Thelma and Louise.”

  “Perfect.” She laughed. “I hope they don’t get in quite that much trouble.”

  Dolly was snacking on some grass while Devin chatted, and Sadie, recognizing a chance to nap, came under the fence to lie down at Lacey’s feet.

  “We’re going to have to make a pen in part of the north pasture for these guys. The round pen is fine while they’re bottle-feeding, but they’re going to need grass soon.” Devin patted Dolly’s neck.

  His brother nodded. “I’ll look at my calendar for next week and see when I can do it.”

  “And you’re going to drive out here four times a day to feed them?” Devin tightened up on the reins as one of the little goats got closer to Dolly. The horse shied away, but she acted more curious than afraid. “She’s doing better. Did you see that?”

  “She’s doing great.” Lacey laughed as one of the goat babies tried to jump on Sadie’s back and fell off. “I would help feed if I could.”

  Garrett shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I thought maybe I’d stay in the cabin by the creek for a few weeks until they’re settled in and can go longer between bottles.”

  Devin nodded slowly. “Works for me. The place is a dump, though.”

  “It needs some maintenance, so it’ll be a good time for me to do it after work. We can’t afford to let the roof fall in.”

  “All right, sounds fine to me, but you have to tell Tanner.” Devin looked toward the house. “Confound it, Garrett, they’re eating my daisies.”

  Garrett ran for the house as Lacey laughed. “Those goats are going to give him a run for his money. He has no idea.”

  Devin shook his head. “No idea.”

  Walking back with one goat under each arm, his tie flapping over his shoulder, Garrett said, “I don’t know what to do with them.”

  “Put them in the round pen with Nemo. We’ve been leaving the door open to the barn.” Devin clucked to Dolly. “We’re going around a few more times and then I’m putting her in the pasture next to Reggie for the rest of the day.”

  As Devin rode away, Lacey turned to Garrett. “Are the bottles in the trunk? I’ll get today’s ready for you, if you want me to.”

  “That would be so awesome, Lacey. There’s a shopping bag with a bunch of stuff in the back of the SUV.”

  “I’ll get them. You get Thelma and Louise settled with Nemo. You might want to check the hay in the open stall and make sure it’s fresh.” She walked around to the back of the SUV and retrieved the bag of goat supplies. There were two small bottles and a gallon container of goat’s milk that the farmer must’ve given Garrett.

  She hated to tell him, but that wasn’t going to go very far. He was going to have to figure out what to feed these guys and fast.

  They had babies coming out their ears here at Triple Creek Ranch. Prudence—or Elmo—gave her a big kick in the ribs as an exclamation point to her thought. She rubbed her belly. “Hey, watch it, there, little one.”

  There was another kick in response. Lacey chuckled. “I think you get that behavior from your dad.”

  She dumped the calf bottles and the goat bottles into the sink to wash them out and put some water on to boil to make Nemo’s formula.

  Her eye caught on the flier from the hospital for the Magnificent Multiples class. It was only a couple of weeks before she’d promised to try again.

  This time, at least, she knew what she was up against and Devin was aware of her fears. It was for the babies.

  This time she would handle it.

  * * *

  Devin flipped over in bed and kicked the covers off. The clock said 3:24 and he hadn’t been to sleep yet. His ankle was aching from his time up on Dolly today, the muscles in his leg spasming from trying to compensate.

  He stared at the ceiling for another minute before deciding to get up and try some chamomile tea. Sometimes it would relax his muscles enough to sleep.

  Rolling out of bed, he stumbled into the kitchen, stopping short when he saw Lacey sitting at the kitchen table, a tray of cookies in front of her and a bag of frosting in her hand. “Hey, what are you doing up? It’s three in the morning.”

  She jumped and frosting squirted out of the bag in a long stream. “You scared me! Give a girl some warning next time you sneak up on her in the middle of the night.”

  “Sorry.” He limped to the stove, slid the kettle onto the burner and started it up. “I’m making some chamomile tea. Want some?”

  “Sure.” She filled in the frosting on a cookie that looked like a flip-flop and laid down her piping bag. “So why are you awake?”

  “Ankle hurting. You?”

  “Couldn’t get comfortable with this big ole belly. And apparently, the twins find my sleeping time to be the ideal playtime. It’s like they’re doing karate in there.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is it weird? It seems like it would be.”

  “Yeah, it’s kind of weird when you think about four arms and four legs and two heads.” She laughed. “I just freaked myself out a little bit. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”
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  “It’s okay.” He poured the steaming water over the tea bags he’d placed in the mugs. “I’ve learned to make peace with it, for the most part.”

  “What do you mean?” She slid a cookie over to him.

  “You asked me if I thought I’d ever drink or take pills again. I know I had the reputation of always being up for a party. But for me, the drinking and the drugs weren’t about the partying. Or really even about the high. It was about...stopping the pain.” He broke the cookie in half and took a bite.

  “Oh, Devin. And you’re still dealing with the pain.”

  “Yes.” He very carefully dunked the tea bag in his mug. It was easier to talk when he wasn’t looking at her. He was so much more comfortable making her laugh than he was with serious conversations. “I can frame it differently now, though.”

  She picked the piping bag back up and began the process of frosting another cookie, but her brow furrowed. She still didn’t know what he meant.

  “I try to remember something I learned in therapy.” He took a sip of his tea. It was too hot and he burned his mouth. He set the cup down. “The pain in my body reminds me that I’m alive. If I dull the pain with drugs or alcohol, I dull everything else too...joy and laughter, even the ability to make a decision that’s both sorrowful and sweet.”

  Her eyes on the cookie in front of her, she asked the question he always dreaded to answer. “Was it only physical pain you were trying to dull?”

  Devin looked away. He didn’t want to talk about his parents. It was one thing to share memories about his mom or dad, but talking about how he felt about their dying was different. His feelings about his parents’ death were complicated. A toxic mix of sadness and guilt and grief.

  “My parents’ death...” His voice thickened and he stopped to clear his throat. “It’s been so long. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to talk about. Or why it affects how I live my life now. Why it still...hurts so much.”

  “You don’t have to talk about it, Devin. Of all people, I understand that.”

  But he had a choice to make. Either he was all in with Lacey or he wasn’t. Either she knew everything about him or he’d always wonder if things would’ve been different.

  Their pasts had such an effect on their present—who they were and the decisions they made. That was never clearer than when he’d tried to get Lacey to go into the hospital for that class.

  In the wee hours of the morning, the kitchen felt cozy, a small cone of light in a dark, silent house. It felt safe, as if they were the only two people awake in the world right now. The words came without his bidding. “I was in middle school, at football practice. I was supposed to get a ride home from practice with my friend Sam, but I messed around and by the time I realized I needed to leave, Sam’s mom had already come and gone. I, um, borrowed the coach’s phone to call my mom. My parents had already passed the school on their way home from picking Tanner’s wife and baby up from the airport, but she said they would come and get me. I heard my mom tell my dad they needed to turn around. My dad was grumbling, but he did it. A few seconds later, I heard the crash.”

  Tears were pooling in her eyes when he looked up. She blinked and twin tears streaked her cheeks. “Oh, Devin.”

  He swallowed over the ache in his throat. The next part was the hardest to get through. “I screamed into the phone. Begged my mom to answer me. For a few minutes, I heard crying and then just...nothing. We found out later that the man who hit them had been distracted by a bird hitting his windshield. He hit them broadside as they turned back onto the road. His air bags worked. He survived. Tanner’s baby, my nephew, was the only one alive when they pulled them out of the car. He died the next day.”

  She didn’t say anything. He didn’t expect her to. What could you say to a story like that?

  He stared into the amber tea, his eyes following a lone bubble on the surface until it popped. And he said the words that had haunted his mind since the day of the accident. The real reason he’d pushed himself so hard. The real reason he’d nearly destroyed himself. The pain didn’t come from his ruined ankle.

  The pain came from inside him. “It was my fault.”

  Her head jerked up. “No. Devin, no. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause the accident.”

  “If I’d just done what my mom told me to do, I’d have been home waiting when they got there. I’ve relived that afternoon a million times. More. If I’d just gotten in the car with Sam, they’d be alive right now. All of them.”

  “You don’t know that.” She reached across the table to touch him and he grabbed her hand like a lifeline. “Devin, you don’t know that. They could’ve stopped to let a dog pass in front of them, or gotten held up in a traffic jam, or had to stop to pick up milk. Anything could’ve been the variable that had them right there at that exact moment.”

  He shook his head. “Any of those things could have happened but I know I was the reason they were turning around to come back to the school. I have to live with that.”

  “Okay. I understand that. I believe it was an accident but I understand you feeling the way you do.” Her eyes were huge in her face, and Devin suddenly felt like he should be comforting her instead of the other way around.

  With a sigh, he admitted the truth that he was finally facing about his addiction. “I was reckless and stupid, trying to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol and adrenaline. And I was too selfish to see that I wasn’t just hurting myself. I was hurting you. Tanner and Garrett. And my mom wouldn’t want me to live my life like that. She’d want me to take care of my brothers. And she’d want me to be happy.”

  She swiped at the tears on her cheeks, and the knowledge slammed him in the gut. He loved her so much.

  He’d known it forever. He just didn’t think he was worthy of love in return. And now things were so complicated between them... He just had to pray that God could work things out where Devin couldn’t.

  He reached over and gently rubbed a tear away with his thumb. “That morning in Vegas, I didn’t know we’d gotten married, but I knew I needed to get help. Because hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.”

  Lacey scrubbed her hands over her face. “How did we manage to mess things up so badly?”

  “I seem to have a talent for it.” He picked up his mug and drained the rest of his ice-cold tea. “Are you ready to get back to bed yet?”

  “I’m gonna finish these cookies before I go back so you can take them out to the stand in the morning. I’m not sleepy and the babies are still in the mood to rumble, apparently.”

  “I’ll head up, then.” He grabbed his cane and walked to the door before he stopped. “I just want to say one thing before I go. This thing between us, it’s not about responsibility to me.”

  Lacey pushed to her feet and walked over to him, stopping about a foot away, her eyes locked on his.

  He shifted his weight. “I know I don’t deserve—”

  She grabbed his shirt, dragged him to her and kissed him. He sighed. Finally.

  Finally.

  His arms closed around her, the sweetness of sugar and vanilla permeating his senses.

  She took a step back, her cheeks a little rosy. “It’s not about responsibility for me, either. I just wanted to make that clear.”

  Looking down, he laughed. “Okay, then. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “See you in the morning.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lacey closed her eyes as Devin pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. They were trying an afternoon class this time, and despite his running description of every bronc he’d ever gotten thrown off and her own determination to breathe through her anxiety, she wasn’t sure she could get through it.

  “Lacey?”

  “I’ve survived way worse than a class in a hospital. I can do this.” He’d barely pulled into the parking space when she op
ened the door to the car and slid out.

  “Lacey...”

  He sounded unsure, and she glanced back at him. “It’s only for an hour.”

  The words were firm in her mind but her voice sounded weak and breathy to her ears. She focused on the door to the hospital. It’s like any other door. She took one step. Two. And despite all her efforts, she felt it as her brain took over and her fight-or-flight response kicked in.

  Heart rate jacked. Breathing shallow. Muscles tensing. Vision narrowing.

  She faltered to a stop, her body swaying as her vision swam.

  Devin’s arm, strong and steady, moved around her waist, bolstering her, turning her back toward the car. “Come on. We’re leaving. We can try again in two weeks.”

  He opened the door to the truck and she slid in, her body feeling boneless. Why was this so hard? She knew it was irrational. She just didn’t know how to fight it.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered when he got in on the other side and cranked the truck up with a roar.

  “No worries, babe. We’ll try again. Right now, I say we go shopping.”

  “Shopping?”

  “Yep. I got my last check from my corporate sponsor about a week ago and I tucked it away for baby stuff.”

  “I don’t know, Devin...” She knew they had to shop for all the things they needed. And she wasn’t in denial that they were about to have twins. It was that shopping for all the stuff together seemed a lot like planning for her to be here after the babies were born.

  It was intimate, too, a thing couples did together. The last thing she wanted was an awkward hour in a baby store with Devin, but considering the kiss she laid on him last night, she should probably get over that. Her cheeks heated as she thought about it now.

  Yeah, she passed awkward a long time ago.

  Devin kept driving. “It’ll be fun. We can get a big P to go over Prudence’s bed and a big E to go over Elmo’s.”

  Lacey shot him a look. “That was a joke.”