Whiskey Flick

by Ryan Ringbloom

  Sasha squeezes my hand, and her shoulder rubs against mine. Henry wraps his arm around Tina and pulls her in for a kiss. Remi does something to Adam under the table that makes him yelp.

  We all raise our glasses and drink until we reach the bottom.

  It’s not the first dinner we’ve all had together. I’ve actually lost count. I love that I lost count.

  All the Barclays are happy. No more bad dates gone wrong, crazy beta dating, or earth-shattering secrets are holding us back.

  Keeping the truth a secret was wrong. It fucked things up for all of us way more than necessary. Hindsight. It does not need glasses.

  Remi was annoyed when she found out about Sasha and me. Apparently, I “denied her best friend privilege.” She momentarily revoked my maid-of-honor title before reinstating it with a question regarding gowns and matching hats two seconds later. All nonsense aside, she’s ecstatic.

  They all are.

  Ecstatic may be a strong word for Henry, but he’s happy for me. He’s happy for himself. It was an unusual path the way things worked out, but in the end, it all came down to love. We both found it. The “how” of it doesn’t really matter so much anymore. Sasha speaking with him first did help pave the way. Our conversation went much easier because of the things she said. The truths she shared. She saved our relationship... and her job.

  We’re good, me and him. We always will be. Seriously, if we survived this, I think we could pretty much survive anything.

  Sasha approached her parents again for another discussion. They wouldn’t budge. Refusing to listen, closing her out. But even though it seems they’ve given up on her, she’s not giving up on them as easily. If possible, it makes me love her more. She’s strong. Fifty billion lesbians, and I chose the right one.

  Henry’s girlfriend, Tina, was slightly on edge with the return of Sasha. And even though Henry tried every which way he could think of to assure her that there was no reason to worry, it wasn’t until she accidentally walked in on Sasha and me at my parents’ cabin that her anxiety finally went away.

  Locking Doors 101, we failed. She got an eyeful. But I think maybe she needed to.

  Henry’s proposing on her birthday next month. She has no clue.

  Mom and Dad, they’re still Mom and Dad. I’m lucky and love them dearly.

  Oh, and Adam, he’s a computer and information research scientist. I don’t know what the fuck that means, but at least I know what he actually does for a living. Sasha figured it out. She’s a smart one, my gal.

  “I should start clearing the table.” Mom starts by picking up her plate.

  “No, we got it.” Sasha gets up from her seat, volunteering us both for the task. I grab a stack of dirty plates and follow her into the kitchen.

  After setting down our stacks, I can’t resist the urge to pull her in for a kiss, my hands resting on her hips, lining up our pelvises.

  “I like being a ‘we,’” I say before planting another kiss on her shiny lips.

  “Good, ’cause ‘we’ were asked to play the back nine with Henry and Tina tomorrow.” She grins.

  “Really?” Warm fuzzies. Head to toe. “Did you say yes?”

  “I said I’d talk to you first, but….” She hesitates.

  “But what?” I frown.

  “If we play, we need to let them win the round. We can’t go in and kick their asses.” She holds up a finger. “This time.”

  “You mean like hustle them?”

  “Jenn, no.” She laughs, pushing me away. “I’m still easing my way back into his good graces. If we go in and demolish them, which we will”—her hand automatically goes up; I automatically smack it—“I don’t want him getting all ruffled. You know how serious he takes golf.”

  “Yeah, but no more secrets. We’re going for the whole open and honest thing now. So, yes, we’ll play with them. And yes, we’ll crush them.”

  She leans back against the counter, and I press against her for another kiss.

  “We shouldn’t,” she says, peeking over my shoulder, but her arms wrap around my neck. We shouldn’t, but we will. It’s just a kiss.

  Her taste is something I will never get sick of. My hands skim down her sides until I reach the curves of her backside. Her breaths hitch and her arms lower, hands searching and finding places they shouldn’t in the kitchen. Cold fingertips graze the warm skin underneath my shirt.

  “Hey, um guys.” Tina clears her throat, breaking us apart. “Just, um, reminding you that your parents have those security cameras and, uh, well, like, Henry has that app.”

  Oh God, caught on camera again.

  “We have got to be more aware of recording cameras.” Sasha blushes.

  “Yes, no more little chick flicks for us,” I say before catching Sasha’s eye and watching as her face turns from dark pink to a burning red.

  Last night I’d shared something with her. I had taken my old camera out of its hiding spot and we’d watched our first little home video. Not the drama, just the good parts. The hot parts. And... it led to some new things. Maybe private videos aren’t all that bad. In fact, maybe setting up the camera later, we can catch some of those new things.

  Especially now that I’m a squirter.

  The end.

  Bonus Scenes

  Halloween 2021

  “Aunt Remi!” Cora is dressed as Wonder Woman. She gives me a quick hug before her two adorable yet grubby little hands scoop into my bowl of Halloween candy.

  “Just one piece,” her mother reminds her. Paisley groans, setting down my nephew, Brandon. He’s a big boy for an eighteen-month-old. Immediately, he scrambles to touch everything in my living room. Everything. I rush over and grab the crystal frame we received as a wedding gift from his slimy grip. Fingerprints are all over it. They’ve been here less than thirty seconds.

  I want kids someday. Not anytime soon. But when I do, my kids will know better than to touch breakable shit and scoop up half a bowl of candy.

  Not that I don’t love my niece and nephew. They’re Jax’s kids. He’s my brother, my twin. Loving his kids is automatic.

  “What’s all over his hands? Honey?” I use two fingers to pinch away one of my sticky throw pillows from Brandon next.

  Jax and Paisley exchange looks, and my brother rolls his eyes. We love each other; we can’t stand each other. Siblings.

  Adam comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. He’s still in tan pants and a button-down. But after the candy is gone and the porch light goes out tonight, I plan on pulling out our costumes.

  I’m going to a be a French maid, and he’s going to be a sleazy yet sexy townie who needs his penis polished. His costume is naked with a trucker hat.

  “Hey, Wonder Woman,” he addresses our niece. He’s so good with kids and anxious for us to get started. I’m just not there yet. But I know now that Tina and Henry have officially started trying. The pressure for us will be stronger than ever. My God, they’ve only been married two months.

  But what happens after we have kids? Do we still get to play games like slutty milkmaid who needs to milk the naked cow with one udder? Probably not.

  “Brandon was dressed as a pumpkin, but it was impossible to keep the costume on.” Jax laughs. “It was cute though, the two seconds it lasted.”

  “I’m surprised the costume didn’t stick to him,” I say, retrieving another frame from his honey hands.

  “Don’t worry, we’re leaving. This was just a quick stop so they could say hello and get their treats.” Jax retrieves his sticky son. Paisley is once again pulling Cora’s hands away from the bowl of candy.

  It takes longer for them to actually get out the door than the entire visit was. Brandon needs water. Cora has to go pee pee. Then she doesn’t. Then she does.

  The door finally closes, and I take the smudge-filled frames into the kitchen, searching for the Windex. The crystal frame holds the beautiful picture of Adam and me on our wedding day. It was the happiest day of my life. He whiskey-ed me righ
t off my feet. I love him. I can’t wait to have his baby.

  One day. Just not now.

  I place the frame down on the counter and search through my purse for the little dial of pills, double-checking that I took it this morning.

  I did. But it never hurts to check.

  Christmas 2023

  “I have totally popped,” Remi says, lifting up her shirt and showing off the round belly.

  She’s five months pregnant now and the twins have finally made their presence known. She’s excited that she’s the one who inherited the twin gene. And just like her and her brother, Jax, she and Adam are having a boy and a girl.

  Jenn walks over and feels our sister-in-law’s stomach and then encourages Sasha over to feel as well. There’s some movement. Maybe gas. Remi can’t tell. But they continue to rub over the little miracles trapped inside.

  I don’t go over and feel. I will. But not now. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. Henry follows me, and before I make it to the door, he grabs my hand.

  “Are you okay?” He knows I’m not. He’s not okay either.

  “They don’t know,” I say on the brink of tears. We didn’t tell them this time. After two miscarriages, this time when we found out we were expecting, we kept it to ourselves. And last week, it happened again.

  “They’re going to do more tests, and they’ve discussed different options for us.” Henry pulls me to his chest, rubbing his fingers gently down my back, and kisses my temple. “We’ll get there.”

  It’s Christmas, the season of miracles, and I want to believe but right now having a baby seems hopeless.

  “Mm-hmm.” The tears are ready to spill, and I rip myself away from him, locking myself in the bathroom.

  I cry while the cold water runs, wash my face, and wait for the redness to subside, then I ready myself to return with an excuse for my puffy eyes. My excuse this time is a pine needle allergy I’ve developed.

  When I open the bathroom door, Henry is still outside, waiting for me. His own eyes show signs of the enormous sadness and loss we both feel.

  He opens his arms, and I fall into them. Things seem so bleak but with Henry, I know everything is going to be okay.

  Easter 2025

  “It’s reveal time.” I tuck my shirt under the small bulge so everyone can see my growing bump.

  The entire family is around us. My parents needed to purchase a new dining room table to accommodate their growing family, and all the faces around the new table wait anxiously for the results. Will there be a baby boy or baby girl joining the family next? I’m the only one who knows so far. Not even Sasha knows yet.

  “Please, I can’t take it. I’m dying to know,” Remi says just as her daughter clutches her, leaving a jelly handprint on her pink shirt. Her kids are the messiest I have ever known.

  My heart contracts as I look up at Tina and then over to my brother Henry; both sets of eyes are watery waiting for my announcement.

  “Congratulations,” I tell them. “You’re having a boy.”

  The table erupts with hugs and hollers and hoots of joy. I sit back and cradle my belly from the chaos, protecting the growing fetus my brother and his wife created. They needed an available uterus, and I happily offered mine up.

  “It’s really a boy?” Tina swipes at the tears running down her cheeks.

  “Yup, I got a little weiner inside me,” I say and then grimace over at Sasha. “Well, there’s something I never thought I’d say.”

  We laugh, and she kisses me.

  Henry walks over. His face is filled with so much emotion that it makes me want to cry. He asks if he can touch my stomach. Of course he can. It’s his baby in there. Although, I’m not sure he’s going to feel anything just yet.

  He and Tina have been at every doctor appointment and ultrasound appointment with me so far. The only time they weren’t there was when the doctor filled me in on the baby’s sex. They wanted that to be a surprise shared with the whole family.

  The pregnancy is going well. The doctor says the baby is healthy and should arrive sometime in early September. That will give me only two months to fit into a wedding dress. But at least we’ll have another little guest in attendance.

  Little shot glasses are passed out, and whiskey gets poured. See you in September, whiskey. I forgo the glass, and Tina, in an act of solidarity, does too.

  “More for me,” Remi says, pulling some type of bunny-shaped lollipop from her hair. “Ouch, ow, ow.” She cries and tugs. It’s hard to look away from as her light brown strands stick to the sugary wet candy. She momentarily gives up and tosses back her shot of whiskey before continuing.

  From where I sit, this moment in time is so amazing. It’s like a scene with a big happy ending.

  But it’s really only the beginning of so much more to come.

  Whiskey Dick

  Whiskey Chick

  Whiskey Trick

  Whiskey Flick

  The Two-Night One-Night Stand

  The Two-Night One-Night Wedding

  A Disconnected Christmas

  Books, Blogs, & Reality

  Fake Boobs

  Hooker Heels

  Fast

  Wait

  Flaw

  Panic

  Hi, I’m Ryan Ringbloom, a Jersey girl who doesn’t write Alphas. I couldn’t if I tried. Social Media stresses me the frick out, yet I can’t seem to walk away from it. I love to binge watch TV. I think cats are awesome. I’m obsessed with coffee and Fireball. But never together. My road rage is ridiculous. And if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, I won’t even try to run. I will let the first one I see eat my brain and get it over with.

  www.RyanRingbloom.com

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