A Beautiful Fire (Love at Lincolnfield Book 4)

by Colette Dixon

  “Nope.”

  “Your dad?”

  “Never really had one.”

  “Everyone had one at some point.” If she could pry, so could he. Harper could be so opaque, and he wanted to crack her exterior.

  “When I was ten, he was driving drunk and crashed head-on into a car full of college kids. He took one of them out along with him.”

  Jakub paused mid-sip of his beer. He swallowed slowly then set the drink down. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

  He never should have ordered alcohol. What a fucking idiot he was. No wonder she’d gone distant after his drunk text. Not to mention he’d acted like a controlling jerk.

  She flickered her eyes to him briefly then studied the menu. “So, I don’t drink and I try not to date guys who drink.”

  He now understood that this date was a test. All dates were tests, but like one of her pathogens, he was under Harper Peters’ microscope.

  But the fact she’d even agreed to date him meant something. His gaze not straying from her, he said, “I can see why.”

  She blinked but didn’t look away.

  His own father drank to excess at times, but never had he felt unsafe with him. Harper didn’t have to say it for Jakub to know that with an alcoholic father, there were probably times when she didn’t feel safe. Her taut exterior suddenly made a lot more sense.

  “A man should protect his children,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

  The steel in her eyes gave way to something more vulnerable. He held her gaze. He wanted her to feel listened to. He wanted to make her feel safe.

  They might have stared at each other for a very long time if the waiter didn’t come to take their order.

  “What can I get for you?” the server asked Harper.

  Still looking at Jakub for another beat, she said, “I’ll have the scallops.”

  “And for you, sir?”

  “I’ll have the prime rib. Medium. And please take my beer away.”

  Harper snapped her attention back to him, her lips parted open.

  The waiter’s brow creased. “Is there something wrong with it?”

  Growing hot under the intensity of Harper’s eyes, he gave the waiter a stiff smile. “No. I’ll pay for it. I just changed my mind.”

  When Jakub dared to steal a glance at Harper, she quickly busied herself rearranging the napkin in her lap.

  As Jakub returned his beer to the waiter, warm feelings began racing through Harper’s chest. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  He shrugged his substantial shoulders. “Maybe not, but I want you to feel comfortable. And you said you don’t date guys who drink. Since I’d like this date to continue, I can go without a beer.”

  He was turning out to be a far better date than she’d let herself imagine and she wanted him to know it. “So far I still want to date you.”

  “So far?”

  “Well, I’m keeping an open mind.”

  “Why do I feel like I’m being scrutinized then?”

  “I may have certain things I look for. Like everyone does.”

  He scooted forward in his chair. “Oh, really? Do tell. What are these certain things?”

  An uncomfortable tingling crept up the back of her neck. Her criteria she couldn’t talk about. It would sound shallow at best and hint to her obsessive nature at worst. “Well, I usually go for intellectual men.” That wouldn’t sound too obsessive, just like a natural affinity.

  He stiffened. “Geeky weaklings.”

  “Not necessarily. Intellectual men are more likely to be better educated about health and make better choices.”

  “Not convinced of that logic.”

  “Do you deny that knowledge is power?”

  “Since when do people make decisions in their personal life based on knowledge and not emotion?”

  “People can’t make all their decisions based on emotion. If everyone did that, the world would be a dumpster fire.”

  “The world is a dumpster fire. I should know. I’m the guy you call to put it out.”

  She laughed at his attempt at fireman humor. Framing himself the hero to impress her. “Are you planning on always being a firefighter?”

  “I am. Yes.” His tone was low and even. Perturbed, if she wasn’t mistaken. “It does take more than a few brain cells to do this job well.”

  “I’m sure it does. I didn’t mean to imply—”

  “That’s sure what it sounded like.” Eyes boring into her, he continued, “A good firefighter has to know how to vent a roof without compromising the structural integrity of the building. A good firefighter knows strategy and tactics, not just how to aim a hose and shoot. He knows how to identify and eliminate electrical and chemical risks, not just fire and smoke. He knows—”

  “Jakub. I do think you’re smart. Or I wouldn’t be here at all. I just meant there’s a lot of burnout in firefighters.”

  The tension in his face eased a little but she wasn’t convinced he’d let her off the hook.

  The waiter brought their entrees and she began to cut into her scallops, keeping an eye on him. He appeared absorbed in cutting his steak.

  After a few bites in awkward silence, he said, “What else? What are these other things you look for in a man?” He sneered as he emphasized the words ‘other things’ before popping a bite of steak in his mouth.

  “I look for guys who aren’t into sports.” Why not get it out now? If they were going to be terrible for each other, they may as well find out tonight. “I can’t stand watching sports on TV. Especially football. Men crashing their heads into each other. It’s just too Neanderthal.”

  “That removes a significant portion of the male population for consideration. Though I agree about football. Hate football.”

  “Come on, you’re just saying that now because you want to impress me.”

  “I’m not trying to impress you.” The devil-may-care way he said it made her believe him, but also created a pit of disappointment in her gut.

  He should be trying to impress her. “Why not? Isn’t that what people are supposed to do on first dates?” She rubbed the condensation off her water glass with a thumb. And hadn’t he already tried to impress her by returning his beer? “And if you’re not trying to impress me, why did you return your drink?”

  “Because I’m not a dick,” he said loudly, in an uncompromising tone.

  She bristled at the easy way he flung such a word around in a public dining establishment. She darted her gaze to the next table. The couple chatted away, oblivious to any discord next to them, completely absorbed with each other. Like they were on a much more comfortable date than she and Jakub.

  He folded his arms on the table and leaned closer. “What else? What other things are on your list?”

  His masculine energy pressed into her personal space, but she resisted leaning away from him. “No liberal cursing and a reasonable communication frequency.”

  “This doesn’t sound like a date you’re looking for. This list of yours sounds more like a job description.”

  “Well, being in a relationship is kind of like a job, don’t you think?”

  “It’s work, sometimes. But it’s not a job. There’s a difference.” The pitch of his voice dropped lower.

  She regretted making him think about his past relationships. Likely, he was thinking about his wife.

  He unfolded an arm to tap the center of the table with a stiff index finger. “Let me ask you this, Harper Peters…”

  The way he said her entire name in that stern tone. Heat rushed between her thighs. She suddenly felt exposed, as though he was undressing her with his voice. Her mouth suddenly dry, she swallowed. “Yes?”

  “If you loved a man, if you were truly in love, these things wouldn’t matter.” He made air quotes with his fingers around the word things.

  “But if I can decide who I want to fall in love with, why wouldn’t—”

  He moved his arm back swiftly, sending his fork clattering to the floor. He ignored t
he fallen utensil and stared at her, dumbfounded. “I can’t believe it.”

  “What?” she asked meekly.

  “Harper Peters, head of Infectious Disease at Lincolnfield Hospital, has never before been in love.”

  The relish in his eyes at this information was too much. He was making fun of her. Pain pricked at the corner of her eyes but she blinked it away.

  She pushed a medallion of bivalve to the edge of her plate with her fork. “I thought I was in love once in college, but I was wrong.”

  She dared a glance at him. His expression had changed to pity.

  “How were you wrong?”

  “It turned out he was loving a whole lot of my classmates too. At the same time.”

  He winced but quickly recovered. “That doesn’t mean you didn’t love him.”

  “Surely you’d agree that isn’t how love is supposed to feel.”

  “If you’re doing it right, love can make you feel pretty fucking awful. But I do agree that a man should never treat a woman the way College Guy treated you.” Lake blue eyes held hers with a steady punctuation of his words before he returned his attention to his steak. “That guy sounds like an asshole of the highest order.”

  She felt a surge of appreciation for his defending statements. Jakub seemed the kind of man who believed in justice, in law and order. Who didn’t apologize for who he was. Never mind he was flagrantly ignoring her criteria with his choice of words. He’d even had the audacity to raise the decibel level on the word ‘asshole.’

  She found she liked him all the more for it.

  Silently, she finished her scallops while feeling the heat of his stare on her. Whenever she looked up, his eyes were on her. Unapologetically drinking her in.

  The waiter appeared, removed their plates, and dropped a dessert menu on the table before leaving.

  Harper reached to grab it but Jakub’s strong, warm hand covered her own. “Harper. Please let me take you home now. I want to make you feel loved.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Yes, the scream of her heart echoed inside her the entire way back to his condo. Yes, she wanted Jakub Wojcik to make her feel loved.

  They rode in uncomfortable silence the fifteen minutes to his house, which felt like fifteen days. Yet somehow, before she knew it, they were inside his apartment.

  His living room was decorated with a microfiber couch and loveseat arranged around a fake gas fireplace. A huge flat-screen was mounted on his wall opposite the couch. Suspicious for a rabid sports fan.

  Had he kept something back? At dinner, he’d admitted he hadn’t been trying to impress her. And despite how he’d flaunted her criteria, he’d still managed to impress her. He may not care about her rules, but he seemed to care about his convictions. He seemed to care about her.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” He clapped his hands together, following behind from the entry to the living room. “I have some sparkling water.”

  She captured his gaze. Pulling his hands apart, she placed them on her hips. “I don’t want a drink.”

  His hands didn’t roam from where she’d placed them. Apparently, he wasn’t in any hurry. His lack of urgency was frustrating, but also somehow reassuring.

  “The beautiful, mysterious jogger is here in my apartment.” He brushed her hair away from her cheek and moved a length of it behind her shoulder.

  She sucked in a breath. “You noticed me? Before we met?”

  A smile curled his lips. “You were the highlight of my day.”

  “I can’t believe it.” She ran a finger down his jawline, a little rough with stubble.

  “Why not? You’re beautiful. Or wait. I’m not supposed to say that, am I?”

  “Since when do you care what you’re supposed to say?”

  He laughed, sinking his fingers into the flesh of her hips, pulling her closer. “Now you’re getting to know me.”

  “I confess I ran by the fire station hoping to catch glimpses of you.”

  “Did you?” One hand slid from her hip to caress the curve of her ass.

  Her head dropped back but he righted it with a hand behind her neck. He bored his blue gaze into hers. She thought he might kiss her. But quickly, he placed an arm behind her back and another behind her knees, scooped her up and carried her down the dark hallway.

  She let her head drop against his shoulder where his scent mixed with the cotton of his shirt. He smelled somehow both calming and invigorating. Like the forest after a rain.

  In his bedroom atop his navy blue comforter, he set her down. She scooted to the edge of the bed and began to unbutton his shirt.

  He stood still, watching her, hands cradling her head. She peeled the shirt over his shoulders, revealing a torso worthy of one of Bev’s novels.

  My God. She ran her fingers down from the notch at the base of his throat, zigzagging over his pecs, over a pebbled nipple and down the ridges of his abs to his beltline.

  He closed his eyes and inhaled with her exploring caress. She reached to unbutton his pants but he stilled her. He finished removing his shirt then lay on the bed on his side, facing her. She snuggled close against him.

  He took a slow, sweeping inventory of her body with his eyes while his fingers played with a lock of her hair. Harper began to wonder if she was the first woman he’d been with since his wife died.

  She gave his shoulder a little squeeze until he turned his eyes on her. A flicker of something like sadness passed through them but then it was gone. He smiled at her and grazed the back of his hand along her cheek.

  “We don’t have to. If—”

  He covered her lips with a finger. “I want to. I want to very much.”

  Then he kissed her. A slow, languorous kiss. She rolled to her back and he followed, positioning himself atop her, not breaking the kiss. His mouth roamed over her cheek, down along her neck as his hand traced the curve of her hip.

  He reached beneath her back and unzipped her skirt. She kicked off her heels. With his help, she shimmied out of her skirt. In one efficient swipe, he peeled off her tights and her panties. A wave of pleasure washed over her at his sudden urgency to have her naked.

  His mouth returned to her body, below her belly button. “Harper. God, I’ve wanted you.”

  She propped up on her elbows for a better view of him. “I want you too.”

  He paused his attentions to meet her gaze. A mischievous grin jumped to his face. He moved lower, trailing kisses from the inside of her knee higher along her thigh.

  She dropped back onto the bed and surrendered to his attentions.

  His tongue lapped at her opening, avoiding her center of pleasure at first then circling closer. When he touched her there her nipples tightened, and she arched her back.

  He swept a hand beneath her back inside her shirt and unfastened her bra. Once she was rid of the bra and the shirt, he ran the pads of his fingers over her nipples. At the same moment his tongue traced a little flourish around her sensitive bud. She let out a cry.

  “Mmmm. Yes.” He continued his lapping of her sex. “Harper, you are a sexy.” Another swipe of his tongue. “Gorgeous.” He gave her folds a whole mouth kiss. “Smart.” Flicked his tongue on her clit again. “Courageous woman.”

  The pauses in his touch tightened her core with frustration. But his words timed with his touch set her aflame.

  “You taste and smell incredible. You deserve to be savored. Worshipped.”

  “Jakub.” She should say something more complimentary than his name, but his adoration made her head spin. All she could do was thread her fingers in his hair and surrender to his ministrations.

  Silently, he returned to his task in earnest and brought her to the brink. She writhed beneath him, bucking her pelvis. She wanted him inside her. Never had she been so desperate for a man to be inside her.

  “Mmmm. That’s good.” His deep purr vibrating on her skin nearly sent her over the edge. “Come on, Harper. Let go. Come.”

  “Oh, God, Jakub.” She fi
sted his hair. “Yes.” Ecstasy gripped her then rocked through her body.

  Bathed in tingling pleasure, she lay catching her breath, hearing the sounds of him removing his pants. Then the glorious smoothness of his naked legs atop hers, his hardness pressing down on her mound of hair.

  She reached a hand to feel him. Gripped his solid, silky, girth.

  He let out a groan at her touch. He gave her a swift kiss on the lips then rolled to his side. A wrapper crinkled and tore. In a moment, he returned above her, separating her thighs with a knee. The tip of his sex tapped her charged opening.

  She let out a whimper.

  He brought his mouth to hers again and kissed her sweetly. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She planted a kiss on his lips. “And I want you. Now.”

  Incredibly slowly, he slid himself within her. His length displacing her flesh, the weight of his body, his scent permeating her—everything that was uniquely him and merging with her felt like a revelation. As though this union with him was something that had been missing in her life, and she would have sorely regretted never finding him.

  As he began to move within her, he balanced on his forearms, cradling her tightly. Caringly. Protectively.

  He kissed her once on the mouth then paused to meet her gaze. “How is it, sweetheart? How do I feel inside you?”

  Sweetheart. How she felt for him at this moment was beyond words. The physical act of yielding to him made all the feelings she’d kept at bay come crashing over her. The corners of her eyes were hot with the start of tears. Her criteria incinerated with the heat of whatever this was between them. She wasn’t sure she could speak but she wanted him to know everything she felt.

  Without thinking she rushed the words out, “It’s like I’ve been walking around my whole life not even knowing part of me was missing.”

  His eyes widened with what looked like surprise—not necessarily pleasant surprise—then he dropped his forehead to her shoulder. The immediate quickening of his thrusts, seemingly in response to her words chased away any fear she’d said something he hadn’t wanted to hear.

  His mouth found her nipple and he suckled her before running the rough flat of his tongue over each hard bud. Feasting on her with a rising urgency, his delicious slides within her became faster and wilder.