Driven

by Megan Hart

  Linna kept her chin high and refused to let desperation control her. "I hope you rot, Lunavoss."

  "Save it for your new owner, stupid cunna."

  Linna didn't like the sound of that. "Owner?"

  "Erystus does a good trade in Carnalla sluts. I'm sure he'll find a good use for you. As for your lover, well, I'm sure he'll find a nice place in the Carnalla lovevine fields. Ironic, don't you think?"

  Linna didn't think. She just swung. Her fist connected with Lunavoss's cheek and sent the other woman reeling. Lunavoss came back, quick as light, and kicked toward Linna's stomach. Linna blocked the blow.

  The fight was on.

  He'd never felt a pain as great as this, not even in the yaladat, the Xanderran adulthood ritual. His head spun. His stomach lurched. He rolled instinctively to his side, vomited once, then again until his stomach ached with the effort and his throat burned from bile. First chills, then heat wracked him. He heard moans and understood they were his, but couldn't stop. The world spun and twisted, and he twisted with it like a salla bug's prey wrapped in silk and twisting in the wind.

  After a while, he heard her voice. Linna's voice. The soft words and tone soothed, him, even though he wasn't quite sure what she was saying. A cool hand stroked his brow. Cool, sweet liquid passed through his lips and stayed in his guts, and he had time to be grateful for that privilege before the world went dark again.

  Del opened his eyes to darkness, but this time it was lack of light, not fever and illness that kept him from seeing. "Linna?"

  He half-expected her not to answer, to discover she'd only been a dream, but she was there in an instant. Her hand crept to his forehead before she stroked his cheek. She smelled like paradise.

  "You're awake."

  "How long?" he asked, unable to voice the rest of his question.

  He didn't need to. Linna knew what he meant to say as surely as if he'd spoken aloud. "A few days. They come once a day to bring food and medicine. They've come three times."

  "They?"

  Her voice was light, but sounded forced. "We've been sold to space pirates, Del."

  "Who?"

  "The Oss was boarded by a pirate named Erystus Sloane. Lunavoss gave him us instead of her cargo."

  Del tensed at the captain's name, expecting to feel something pull at him. The last thing he remembered was the floor coming up to meet him after she'd caught him by surprise with her hypogun. He assumed she'd drugged him with the lovevine and had her way with him, but as he sat up, all he felt was a blinding headache.

  More importantly, Linna's scent still stirred him. "She gave me lovevine."

  "That's what she said." She moved closer to him.

  The hairs on his arms lifted in response.

  The floor rocked beneath them and light flooded the room. It burned his eyes and he covered them, blinking, until they adjusted. They were in a small cargo hold outfitted with a bed, a table, a sanitary bucket and nothing else. Prison quarters.

  "You don't remember anything?" Linna questioned. She poured liquid from a pitcher into a cup and handed it to him.

  He sniffed it. Soloil. Not the best thing for an aching head and queasy stomach, but it would quench his thirst. He took a swig and found it settled his stomach better than he'd thought it would.

  "She hit me with a hypogun. I went down. That's all I can remember until I woke up here."

  She nodded and looked up. Her hair fell in lank strands on her cheeks, paler than normal. She looked tired. She was beautiful.

  "Del, there's something I need to tell you."

  He sat up, swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and tried to steady himself. He needed food. Spying a plate of rolls next to the pitcher on the table, he grabbed one up and stuffed it in his mouth. The second it touched his tongue, his hunger roared to life, insatiable.

  He gobbled the rest of the stale bread before wondering guiltily if Linna needed some. He swigged some more soloil and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I should've saved some for you. I'm sorry."

  She smiled and shook her head as though amused. "I don't know why Xanderrans have such a bad reputation."

  Del thought about how his father had never hesitated to take a fist to him for being rude. His people were quick to anger, and just as swift to battle, but consideration and respect for those you loved was trained into you from childhood.

  Del stopped himself from taking another drink. Love. There it was again, that word in connection with thoughts of Linna.

  He looked at her. She was looking back. Her eyes were sad, even though her mouth smiled. "You're a good man, Del."

  She wasn't talking about saving stale bread. Del swallowed, hard. Memories of her beneath him, overlaid in red, rose in his mind. But that wasn't right. They'd been together darkness. Never red light. Unless....

  "What happened?" he asked, then had to clear his throat and ask again to be sure she'd heard him.

  "The drug she gave you made you...she meant it to..." Linna paused, seemingly at a loss for words. Then she took a deep breath, faced him head on, and spoke without hesitation. "We made love, Del. All the way."

  He was on his feet and pacing before she could speak again. Made love. Another flash of memory hit him. Linna's face, twisted with passion. Him above her. The captain's voice behind them.

  "We're behsherit." He didn't make it a question.

  Of course they were. Now it seemed so obvious. He could feel it all through him. Feel her all through him. In his bones, his lungs, his heart, his blood. His brain.

  The remnants of the lovevine made him stumble against the wall, and he put his forehead on the cool metal. Trying to gather the strength to face her. He didn't want to see the pity in her eyes.

  "Del, I'm sorry." She sounded miserable. "I didn't know she'd given you lovevine. I found you in her room. You came at me. You...you took me."

  "Ah, harah." He pounded the wall with his fist. "I raped you?"

  Self-loathing filled him and, for one moment, he thought he might puke again. Del pounded the wall again and again, wanting to pound himself instead. He closed his eyes, but opened them when an image of Linna rose beneath him, face not twisted with passion. With fear.

  "No! Oh, God-of-Choice, Del. No. You did not rape me."

  He sensed her behind him. She didn't touch him, for which he was grateful. He couldn't stand her pity.

  "Do you really think I couldn't have fought you off if I'd wanted to?"

  The gentle humor in her voice made him twist his head to catch a glimpse of her. She stepped into his view, her expression unreadable. She reached out for him, but stopped herself before she could touch his shoulder. She looked at her fingers, a hair away from his skin, then let them drop.

  "I might not be Xanderran, but I'm enhanced enough to have kicked you right on your lovely ass, Del. If I'd wanted to."

  He turned to face her fully. "You didn't want to."

  "How could you think I would?" she asked him softly. "After everything we've been through? Your apartment? The hall in that abandoned building? If I had known you weren't conscious of what you were doing, I'd have stopped you. I should've stopped you."

  Her voice caught. Tears shimmered in her beautiful blue eyes. "I should've known you wouldn't have made love to me willingly. But I wanted you Del. I can't deny it. When you came at me like you did, and you kissed me...I wanted to believe it was really you, wanting me."

  She took a deep breath. "She'd have taken you, if I hadn't been there first."

  "Linna--" He wanted to tell her he loved her, and that he'd loved her for months. Becoming behsherit had nothing to do with it. He'd fallen in love with her the first time he'd won a smile from her. He wanted to tell her that even if they had not made love, even if his freakish genetic makeup hadn't somehow bound him to her through mutation, he'd still be hers. She owned him because he loved her. Del tried to think of something to say, some way to tell her how he felt, but the words tangled up on his tongue and wouldn't be spoken. Behshe
rim could insult each other, hurt each other's feelings, and make each other angry. But only someone who wasn't bound in return could do what Linna did next.

  She opened her mouth and she destroyed him.

  Chapter 9

  "It shouldn't have happened," Linna told him. "I know that. It was a big, huge mistake."

  The big man swayed in front of her. Alarmed, Linna reached for him, afraid he was going to faint on her. His normally dusky skin looked chalky, waxy. His eyes fluttered.

  Brushing off her hands, he stalked away. She was amazed again at how gracefully he moved for such a large, muscular man. Without his boots on, he moved silently, too.

  The room wasn't big enough for him to get completely out of her grasp, but she held back from reaching for him again. He went to the bed and sat down, face in his hands. He didn't look good.

  Her throat closed. She'd known how he felt about being bonded, but seeing him react so strongly to the news still shot a bolt of pain straight through her.

  "Believe me, Del, if I'd known you were drugged, I'd never have done it."

  He looked up at her eyes red-rimmed. "I know. I don't blame you. You're too good, Linna."

  That wasn't the answer she expected. "Del..."

  He cut her off. "Your heart's too good. You'd never want to know that someone like me was stuck to you for the rest of your life. But I don't want your pity. I want you to leave me when you have the chance. You don't have to stay with me."

  Pity? Linna put her hands on her hips. He wanted her to leave him. Was the thought of celibacy for the rest of his life so preferable to the thought of being with her? Her lip trembled, and she forced what she hoped was a stoic look to her face. "I don't pity you."

  His body gave a small shudder. To her alarm, she saw tears in his dark eyes. Pain twisted the features she'd come to love so well. "I'm sorry this happened, Linna."

  Self-respect made her angry, a much better feeling than being heart-broken. How dare he be sorry? She'd saved him from that bitch Lunavoss! She'd beaten the crap out of the woman, too, before the crewmen had come in and stopped her.

  "Well, I'm not sorry!" she cried. "You could've been behsherit to Lunavoss! Would you have liked that better?"

  He shook his head, a picture of misery. He'd clasped his hands in his lap, the big, strong fingers interlocked so tightly his knuckles were white. Her heart was moved by the sight, but she didn't pity him.

  "I'm not sorry we made love, Del!" She knelt in front of him, not daring to touch him, but close enough to do so if she wanted. "I know you don't want to be bound to me--"

  He let out a low groan. "I do."

  That stopped the tirade she'd been planning. "What?"

  He gave her a look of naked angst. "I do want to, Linna."

  "You're just saying that because you already are," she whispered. "It's the bonding."

  He shook his head. "No. Behsherim can't be turned on by anyone other than partners. They don't have to love them. I told you that. The bonding only controls sex. It doesn't control love."

  "Love?"

  She couldn't believe he'd said that word.

  Del nodded. "Yeah."

  "Oh, Del." For a long moment, Linna couldn't think of what to say. She put her hand on his cheek, and he turned his face into her caress. His breath was warm on her fingers. The bristles of his growing beard scratched her palm. "I guess I lied. I'm sorry."

  It broke her heart to see how he didn't object to her words, only closed his eyes against them like he'd known they were the truth all along.

  "I'm sorry because that drug stole something from you that should've been wonderful. I'm sorry because you should've had a choice, not been forced to it by some bitch with an itch to scratch and no morals. I'm sorry because your first time should've been something you could never forget, not something you're unable to remember."

  She moved closer to him, into the space between his thighs, and rose onto her knees to bring her lips close to his. "Your first time should've been really special, Del."

  It hurt her to see him so low. She put her hands on his broad, bare shoulders and waited until he looked at her. His gaze searched hers, and Linna was sure she didn't imagine the hope in them. She felt the same expression in her own.

  She brushed his lips with hers in the barest touch. She gave him the choice to return the kiss because, without his choice, none of the rest of this mattered.

  He took the chance she gave him. He kissed her, mouth on mouth. His arms went around her and pulled her close to him. He whispered in her ear, "I love you, Linna."

  She didn't want to think about the effort speaking those words must have cost him, or how much truth in them came from his heart and how much came from the bonding. He'd said them, and he meant them.

  "I love you, too."

  She kissed his temple, then his cheek, and at last found his lips again. Soft, full and warm on her own, they parted and allowed her tongue to slip between them. She moved closer into his embrace. The bulge of his erection pressed on her belly, and answering heat flared inside her, but Linna was determined to make this time different.

  Every other time they'd been together, lust had swept both of them away, made them lose their heads. She was determined that this time, for Del's real first time, they'd take things nice and slow.

  His hands roamed her back, then slid down to cup her buttocks and pull her in tight against him. She loved the way his hands could completely cover her ass. Since waking from the accident that had turned her mecho, Linna had struggled with the age-old feminine issue of body consciousness. She was heavy, she was scarred, she had perfect internal organs, but still thought her breasts were the wrong size and her butt too big. Being with Del, it didn't matter that her enhancements made her heavier than she looked, or that she was strong enough to kill a man with her bare fists--something that would have intimidated many men. Being with Del meant Linna felt...perfect.

  The kisses had grown harder, faster, more passionate, and he held her even tighter against his erection. Linna pushed back, gently, determined not to get swept away this time.

  His eyes were a little glazed with passion, but he was with her. Not like the last time, when she'd mistaken the fire in his gaze for lust instead of delusion. He looked her up and down, looked at her body with desire that was clearly echoed in the way his cock rose and his breath hitched in his throat.

  It had been a long, long time since a man had looked at her that way. At her, Linna, not as a conquest, not as a purchase. As a lover.

  It made her feel soft inside, and a little weepy. It also made her incredibly hot. Her nipples rose through the thin material of her jumpsuit, and she drew his hands up from her ass to cup her breasts. His thumbs rolled on the taut buds, and she breathed out a half-sigh, half-moan. She urged him to slide open the worn stickseam and burst out laughing when the much-belabored fabric finally gave in to all the abuse it had seen and shredded under his eager fingers.

  "Sorry." He gave her that sexy grin she'd fallen in love with and didn't look sorry at all.

  Del bent his head to flick his tongue against her nipples, one side, then the other. He took one in his mouth and suckled gently. Linna felt the sensation throughout her entire body, especially in her clit, which rubbed deliciously against the seam of her jumpsuit crotch. She moved her hips on the pressure, teasing herself as he teased her nipples.

  "I'll buy you a new one," Del said. His words made her flesh hum, and she wriggled. "Even though I like you better this way."

  He kissed up her throat and found her mouth again. Together, they fell back onto the lumpy pallet with Linna on top. She shifted a little to scoot herself higher up his body. Crotch to crotch, they lay still for a moment, mouths still sealed together.

  His hands cupped her ass again, moving her back and forth against his cock. Her clit warmed quickly to the intermittent stimulation, but Linna held back from grinding herself directly down on top of him. This was for Del, not for her.

  He rolled o
ver so they were laying side-by-side, face to face. His hand rested on the curve of her waist. They kissed some more. She lost herself in his mouth and lips and teeth and tongue, lost herself in kissing the way she hadn't done for years and years. Foreplay was something her clients usually refused to pay for, and her relationship with Daniel had been dead for a long time before she was.

  She floated on the waves of pleasure sweeping over her. Del's mouth found her eyes, her ears, throat, neck, shoulders. Down to her breasts and back again to her mouth. She did the same to him. They kissed like that was all they ever had to do for the rest of their lives. Languorous and slow, but urgent, too, as their bodies responded to each other.

  He moved his cock against her, the barrier of their clothes still between them, but not enough to keep her clit from singing at the contact. Her leg went over his hip while his slid between hers. They rocked together, still kissing. She thought she might come from this pleasure alone, from the heat of Del's cock on her clit, from his bare chest on her skin, from his tongue thrusting inside her mouth like she wanted his cock to slide inside her pussy.

  Again, she had to remind herself that this was not for her. It was for him. She separated, breathless, and moved away enough to keep herself from going over the edge into orgasm. Linna ran her hands down his chest and found the twin dark circles of his nipples. She rolled them beneath her palms.

  Del sucked in a breath and bit his lower lip. "Damn."

  She laughed. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

  He nodded and moved to kiss her again, but Linna stopped him with a finger on his lips. "Wait."

  He looked puzzled, but obeyed. She rolled him over onto his back, then straddled him. She bent low to whisper in his ear, "Let me do this for you."

  She knew he'd kissed women before, and she knew Del wasn't ignorant about sex in all its forms. He couldn't have lived in Newcity very long without learning just about everything there was to know about sex. Still, seeing and doing were two very different things, and it was totally satisfying to hear his groan when she slid down his body, opened his pants and took him into her mouth.