by Cee, DW
“Beth, it’s been a hell of a day, and I’ve lost both wife and daughter to the in-laws. Help me, I beg of you.”
“We’re on it now. Bye.”
“You’re in some deep shit, Brother.”
“Not you too, Lex. I can’t take any more.”
I went and laid on the couch while Lex took a seat across from me in the single chair. We resembled a shrink and her patient.
“What will you do now, Xander?”
“Hell if I know,” I muttered. “Maybe Jenna will believe Marcus and Beth and come home on her own volition.”
“I thought all was going well.”
“All was going well. Life was good until a small issue in London and now with Gemma. Damn. Will this get any easier?”
“Why do you think Jenna didn’t believe you when you told her about this woman? Have you thought about that?”
“I didn’t get a chance to tell her anything. Jenna emphatically told me to shut the hell up and to give her time to process what had just happened.”
“So she has no idea that you didn’t invite this woman into your home and bed?”
“I’m sure to some degree, Jenna understands that I’m committed to her and our daughter. She just wants to put my past behind her.”
“Were you really with that many women after Jenna? We all thought you lived like a monk.”
“I did live like a monk, almost. There were hardly any dates—a few hookups, but that was all they were.”
“Why haven’t you told this to your wife?”
“I don’t know, Lex. Let’s stop talking. My head hurts.”
“One more thing?” As if I could stop her. “May I give you one suggestion?”
“If I say no, will you stay silent?”
“Nope,” she answered with a giggle. “Here’s my suggestion. No, I’m not married. No, I’ve never been in a serious relationship. But yes, I’m a woman and I’ll tell you what I think you should do.”
“Please tell me and then leave. I need to think about how I will bring my family back home.”
“Date.”
“What?”
“Date your wife.”
“Explain.”
“You and Jenna have never really had a chance to do what most unmarried couples do. Think about it, Xander, you knocked up your girlfriend before you ever took her out on a real date.”
I had to think about what Lex had said. Was that true? “Jenna and I did what other couples do, didn’t we?”
“Have you ever taken her to a simple dinner and a movie?”
“Damn. I don’t remember.”
“A show?”
“Maybe? No? Shit, I don’t know.”
“Have you sent her flowers just because or bought her a present?”
“Flowers, I don’t think so. Gift, yes. I gave her an anklet for her birthday. That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve seen her wear that since we reconnected. I’ll have to ask what happened to it.”
“I would’ve flushed it down the toilet if you were my ex.” I glared at Lex. She responded with, “Just saying.”
I sighed heavily. “So what does dating have to do with getting myself out of trouble?”
“I just thought if you two could rewind, date, have a good time, and grow to trust and love one another, then maybe married life might be easier.”
“The horse is out of the gate already. Is it necessary to force it back in and attempt to start the race again?”
“Call me crazy but I don’t know any woman who doesn’t like to be wooed by her man. Keep her on her toes and surprise her. Romance her. Show her how much you love her and can’t live without her. Maybe during that time, she’ll grow to understand what she means to you.”
Damn. When did my little sister grow up? “Thanks, Lex. I may try what you suggest. You’re pretty smart for a woman who hasn’t dated.”
“Thank you. Now, I think I’ll go see how my sister-in-law and niece are doing. See you later and good luck.”
“Tell them both how great I am and give them a hug and a kiss for me. I’ll be there for them soon.”
“Don’t wait too long.”
Lex left after helping her idiotic brother fix his life. I liked what my sister had to say and agreed it was about time my wife and I went out on a few dates. If getting to know one another would keep us on the right path, I was all for it.
With too much time on my hand, I went back to the room with a vacuum in hand to clean up the rug before our new bed arrived. I’d bought this contraption when I bought the house but had never used it. Never did I think I’d be vacuuming the rug that laid under my bed. These were strange times for me.
It took me a few minutes, but I figured out how to use the machine and stood up to start when I noticed a box on the floor. I froze as I bent to pick it up. It was a pregnancy kit! Initially, a smile spread across my face. Jenna was pregnant! Very quickly, the smile extinguished and fear set in. What if Gemma had brought this with her and Jenna saw it? Fuck! Of all the crazy things—I hadn’t even touched this woman and my wife might have the wrong idea about us. My life was too much. I needed to go see the wife and grovel for something I didn’t do.
*******
“Do you want to tell us what’s wrong or are you going to mope around this small house all day? You’ve been staring out the window, waiting for a man whom you’ve told not to come here.”
“Mom. I really would prefer not to talk about it.”
“Then will you at least have some dinner?”
“No, I don’t feel like eating. I’ll make myself something if I get hungry.”
“I thought all was going well with Xander? He’s so attentive to you and Alex. We know he loves the both of you. What’s the matter, Jenna?” Would a mother ever be anything but a mother?
I had no choice but to answer and explain. Once I did my tell-all, Mom basically told me to excuse all—as in excuse all of Xander’s wrongdoings.
“From the bits and pieces I heard from Xander’s friend, Marcus, I don’t think it was your husband who invited this woman, was it?”
“No,” I didn’t like to admit.
“Then why are you so upset?”
“Because he had a life while I was struggling with our daughter. This life included other women, and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I think of him with other women. While I was pining for him, hoping maybe, just maybe he might reach out to me and his daughter, he was in bed with other women. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at myself. I’ve always been so stupid where Xander was concerned.”
“Jenna,” Mom gently chided, “you can’t fault the man for living his life after you separated. You could’ve been in a relationship with other men too. You just chose not to do so. You could’ve also extended an olive branch to Xander and invited him to come see his daughter.”
I didn’t know why I was trying to explain myself. Mom always tried to see the good in people. She urged me to reach out to Xander more times than I cared to listen.
“Mom!” My little drill sergeant called. “I want my typer!” she demanded.
“What’s a typer, Jenna?” Grandma Tiff brought her back inside and asked.
“Xander bought her an old-fashioned typewriter. That’s been her latest obsession.”
“I want to go home. I need my typer.”
“Alex, we’re spending the night here. Let’s get you ready for bed.”
“NO! I want my typer!” The wailing began. “I want Daddy!” she cried.
My mother, as well as my mother-in-law, used this to their advantage. Both were immediately on their phones. Mom put hers away when Tiffany got through to her son, first.
“Xander. You need to come quick. Alex needs you.” That was all that needed to be said. She was off the phone and both grandmas took their granddaughter to the kitchen to appease her with a cookie until her father arrived.
I was screwed. Either I could leave, with or without my daughter, so I wouldn’t have to see Xander. Or, I’d face
the music and have it out with him. Sadly, I had nowhere else to go. I was a sitting duck.
“I’ve missed you, Alex.” Xander was playing hugs and kisses with his daughter. “Would you like to go home and play with your typer?” She nodded like a dutiful daughter. “I have a surprise for you at home. Should we go?”
“Yes, Daddy.” She held his hand and expected to leave. Xander looked at me, and I stayed seated where I was. He might be able to coax his daughter with a trinket or two, but he wasn’t going to dupe me into leaving. I was staying where I was.
“Should we see if Momma wants to come home with us? There’s a present for her too. Maybe you can help her unwrap the gift?”
Alex’s eyes were growing with the number of presents she could unwrap—whether they were hers or not.
“Come on, Mom. Let’s go.” Her annoyed call was almost comical.
“I think I’ll stay here, Alex. You go ahead. You can unwrap my present as well as yours. You can keep it, too.”
The hell with Mom, Alex pulled her father toward the door. If I was in a better mood, I would’ve smirked at Xander.
“We can’t open either gift without Mom, Alex. You need to have her come home with us.”
Now my daughter was just plain pissed. She yelled, “I want to go home!” and had a meltdown. We needed to get a handle on her temper, but tonight wasn’t the time and this wasn’t the place. I had to give in. I also had to have a talk with my husband about his mishandling of his daughter. I didn’t like what I was seeing in her.
“Alex.” I called her out sternly. “You need to stop this tantrum now. We will go home, but you will not get to open any presents for this bad attitude.” That only made her cry harder. “I’m going to count to ten. I want you to calm yourself down.” I crawled from number one to ten and was a little worried when the crying only got louder. However, the smart girl that she was, by the time I hit a loud eight, she almost immediately stopped. It was amazing to watch how manipulative my daughter could be when she knew the tactic would work, and how quickly she changed her tune when she knew she was on the losing end. “Are you ready?” I asked one more time.
“Yes, Momma.” She ran into my arms and pronounced, “I love you, Momma. Can I see my present?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You may see it, but you may not open it until tomorrow morning, after breakfast.”
“But,” she was about to cry again until she saw my face. She watched me, she assessed me, then she decided to save her tears. “Home, Daddy.” She fell out of my arms and ran to her father’s.
“Do not give into her charms, Xander.” After the row we had earlier, I knew he wouldn’t go against my wishes.
*******
It was damn hard to say no to my pouty daughter, but I had to stick to her mother’s decrees. I was in enough shit already. I didn’t need one more misdemeanor over my head. Alex did her best to touch her present for as long as her mother would allow, but she didn’t dare open it. When she was told it was time for bed, the probable tears were too much for either one of us.
I suggested, “Do you think Alex could take her present with her to bed?”
The relief on Jenna’s visage was immediate. “Sure. Would you like to sleep with your present?”
“Yes, Momma!” Our daughter jumped at the offer and quickly finished her nighttime routine so she could hold her present that much sooner. “Goodnight,” she said and held her gift as if it was another typer.
I watched my daughter fall asleep immediately and made sure she was comfortable before leaving her room. When I tried to take the present from her and place it on her nightstand, she wouldn’t let go. Fearing she might wake up, I let it be and turned to walk out with my wife.
What delusional world was I living in believing Jenna would be here waiting for me? She was long gone.
“Jenna?” I called but she was nowhere to be found. “Jenna.” There was no answer again. Every bedroom was empty, though her car was in the garage. Either she was in the guesthouse or on her rock. First, I tried her rock. It was empty and there was no lone figure walking the beach. Next, I tried the guesthouse. Bingo. She was there making her bed for the night. “May I at least show you the gift I hurriedly prepared for you?”
“No thank you.” What on earth made me think this was going to be not this difficult?
“Did you speak with Marcus?”
“I did.”
“Then you know that the woman you saw was not my doing. It was all Marcus’ idiotic idea.”
She glared at me. “I suppose.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. I hated this groveling business, especially when I didn’t do anything to merit a grovel. “I’m not sleeping without you.” Jenna didn’t answer. “If you insist on staying here, I’m staying here with you.”
That’s where I got her. “You can’t leave Alex in the house by herself.” Jenna was outraged.
“My security system is tight. No one will get in.” Of course, I wasn’t going to leave my daughter in a house, alone. I was playing a game of chicken with my wife, hoping she would cave, first.
“Your Gemma got in.”
My wife was a serious smartass. “She’s not my anything. We went on a few double dates with Marcus.”
“And you thought I was a call girl,” Jenna muttered. “Gemma looks like porn star. I can just imagine what you and Gemma did during your double dates.”
I wanted to make out with this adorable woman, but I feared for my balls. I knew she’d kick them if I got too close.
“Where will you be tonight, Wife? Here with me or in the main house with me?”
“Asshole.” There was no quiet grumbling when she branded me. I followed with only a smile.
Being the contrary woman that she was, Jenna went straight for the couch rather than the bedroom. I didn’t fight her. When she made herself comfortable, I did the same and slept spooning her. She knew better than to fight me. Like old times, we fell asleep, cramped, but happy to be close to one another.
*******
“Momma. Daddy. Wake up!”
“Shit.” I moaned. It wasn’t too smart of me to tell a two-year-old that she could open her present in the morning. It was still dark outside.
“Can I open?” Alex lifted her present and brought it within two inches from my eyes.
“You need to eat first, Alex. Daddy will fix you something.”
“No I won’t. It was your brilliant idea to do it in the morning. She’s all yours,” Xander grumbled from behind me. “Shit, Jenna. Can we not sleep here anymore? Regardless of how large this sofa is, my body can’t take it. I’m going to need a massage to work out all the kinks. I don’t think we moved at all last night.”
“Last I checked, I wasn’t having a party on this sofa, and you were definitely not invited to join me.”
“Mom! Dad!” The inevitability of what had to happen was literally staring us in the face.
“Let’s go eat something first, Baby.”
“No. I eat cheese and apples.” She held up a half-eaten block of cheese in one hand and a slice of apple with the same result in the other hand.
“Did you get those from the refrigerator?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes, and milk.” We were floored to find that she’d popped a straw into the individual to-go container of milk, and she’d fed herself. “Can I open now?”
What choice did I have? “Sure, Baby. Go ahead.”
There was no time to celebrate as she ripped open the package. What she found, she didn’t really understand until Xander stood up and brought her typer out.
“These are all colored paper in the shape of butterflies and you can put them in the typer, Alex.” She was still lost. “You see? When you put the paper in the right place and you push down on an A-l-e-x, it prints out the word, ‘Alex.’”
Our daughter was fascinated. Up until now, she liked pushing the buttons but had no idea that a typer would print out words on a piece of paper. Xander must have purchased ink along
with the paper and fixed the old machine so it would work properly.
Alex began typing and a whole new world opened up to her; she was transfixed by the mechanism even more.
“How much time will that buy us?” he asked, hopping back into our “bed.”
“Who knows? Since she’s already fed herself, maybe we have another half an hour?”
“She’s growing up too fast, Jenna.”
I watched our daughter concentrating on the keys that created letters on the paper. She couldn’t get enough of it. She pushed down on one key, then two at a time, then back to one.
“Some days it frightens me to see how quickly she’s growing up. I see the personality forming, her features setting, and her little body blossoming under all the love she’s been receiving. She’s always had much love from those around her. I’m just glad she has so many family members nearby. You’ve been the best change for her, Xander. I couldn’t have been both mother and father for her for too much longer. She needed a man’s influence. You came to her at the perfect time.”
“I’d like to think I’ve been good for both daughter and mother.”
How could I argue with the man who held me all last night. Security, insecurity, love, fear, hope, disappointment—I felt them all, but what I felt the strongest was love. I loved this man. I always had.
“We should probably get up. I’ll shower first if you’ll watch Alex.”
He didn’t argue. Instead, he sat on the floor with our daughter and put another paper in the typer for her. Mesmerized, Alex didn’t even look up at her father. She concentrated on each key and the mark it made on the paper.
“Do you like it, Baby?” She ignored her father and continued playing. Her smile said it all. “What color paper should we put in next? You want the purple one?”
That received an emphatic, “No. I want pink paper.”
Unable to tear myself from the unfolding scene, I walked at a snail’s pace into the guest bathroom. Still, I couldn’t face my own bedroom. An image of that porn star-looking Gemma, sleeping naked in my bed, festered in my mind.
Of course, my intentions of not walking into my bedroom for the next year failed when I realized all my clothes were in my bedroom. I supposed I had to face reality at some point. Damn. I so didn’t want to do this.
