Don't Let Go

by Willow Winters

  And I haven’t laid eyes on Catherine since I took off. I moved out two years ago and never looked back. Leaving my shit parents behind and getting my life on track is exactly what I needed to do.

  I huff a laugh as I kick my bike back to life and feel the vibrations under my ass. They made sure I knew I was nothing but trouble growing up. And that’s exactly what I am, but I’ll keep it to myself.

  I’ve got a business to run now, and clients that fucking love my choppers. My parents can get fucked for all I care. I’ve moved on and accepted we’ll never see eye to eye.

  But that’s not the part that sucked when I left.

  It was not having my eyes on the good girl next door anymore. Catherine Parker. She’s two years younger than me, and I never thought much of her as we grew up together, to be honest. Then one day, shortly after she turned seventeen, something shifted inside of me.

  Suddenly she had curves where she didn’t before. Her tank top would ride up, and the only thing I wanted to do was pull it off and get a better look at her sun-kissed bare skin. I was nineteen though, so I kept my distance.

  I’d also just gotten my job at the mechanic shop and started realizing what real life was, and how abusive my parents truly were. I wanted to get out, but I can’t deny that knowing she was right next door kept me there longer than it should have.

  The day I left she was outside on her porch as I grabbed the two boxes of stuff I owned and put them in the back of my buddy’s car.

  That was two years ago, and I didn’t take the chance to make her mine. I should have, but she wasn’t even eighteen yet. And I was almost twenty. Besides, I was no good for her. I truly believed that back then. I wanted to ravage her, ruin her for any other man. I wanted to make her mine.

  I’d never felt that way before, and that fear of wanting to completely dominate her and own her kept me from taking her right then. I didn’t want to destroy her. I didn’t wanna bring her down to my level.

  Times have changed though, and I wanna get a good look at Catherine now.

  Jake and Levi know her from classes at the university. I’m making their custom bikes, and I happened to overhear her name. I know I’m not one of them. Shit, they’re jocks, and I’m a mechanic. But we share the love of bikes and that gives them a good name in my book.

  The wrench slipped right out of my hand as her name rolled off his lips. I’ve been working on bikes for nearly six years; it’s what kept me out of trouble all those years ago. But hearing her name got me so worked up, I couldn’t remember how to do a damn thing. Lucky for him she was just his study partner. If her name had been dropped in any other way… I’m not sure what I would’ve done.

  Being reminded of her brought back all those memories. It brought back a sense of regret. But everything happens for a reason. I hadn't wanted to leave the way I did, but I had to get away from my parents. And now I’m a better man. I still wanna ruin her though. That shit hasn’t changed.

  Hearing her name made me work a little faster to get those bikes done and keep in touch with them.

  They said she’d be here. I wasn’t too subtle about asking how she’s doing. I’m sure they know what’s up, but that’s good, because I want everyone to know.

  I’m known for getting what I want even if I have to destroy everything in my path to get it. And I want her. I’ve waited too damn long.

  I park my bike and stride toward the mansion with purpose. Tonight she’s getting a taste of the bad boy next door.

  Catherine

  I take another sip of champagne and lean against the wall of the dimly lit dining room. The music of the party is pumping, and the bass is making the walls vibrate slightly. I didn't have much to eat before I started drinking, and now I'm starting to get a buzz. I should be alright though. I had some of those pumpkin pie bites when I came in here.

  I look over my shoulder to the foyer. I’m waiting. I’ve been waiting and staring at those damn doors ever since I got here. I feel slightly sick to my stomach with nerves. Maybe this buzz isn’t from the alcohol at all.

  I should be studying for my calculus test. I shouldn’t even be at this party. But I had to know if he was really going to come.

  I heard Ryker’s going to be here.

  My parents warned me to stay away from him. He comes from bad blood, they said. But they don’t see him the way I do. Still, I know he’d only want me for a night. I can’t give in to those fantasies. He’s never wanted me anyway.

  One of the football guys said he’s coming. I’ve been helping Levi in class. I don’t mind being his study partner. But when he started talking about Ryker Dean I swear I couldn’t focus on anything else. I’m supposed to be Levi’s study partner, but when we get together all I wanna do is ask about what Ryker’s been up to. I can’t believe he’s got his own business now. He always loved motorcycles. I’m so fucking happy for him. But my heart still hurts.

  He left me years ago and never said a damn word. It’s not like I was entitled to even a simple goodbye, but it broke something inside of me when he left.

  I feel pathetic for being so worked up over hearing his name. I’m no one to him. I should know better by now. I know all too well that men are assholes.

  I take a deep breath and settle myself down. Not all men are assholes, and just because Ryker left doesn’t make him an asshole.

  After all, I would’ve left too if I had his parents. It hurts my heart to think about everything he went through. He was right there, right next door. I could hear them yelling all the time. It wasn’t right. That’s what my mom used to say. A few times she wanted to go over there, but Dad held her back.

  He’d had words with Ryker’s father more than a time or two. It put a stop to some of it, but not for long. Words weren’t enough. Even calling the police when we heard them fighting didn’t do a thing.

  I clear my throat, trying to shut down the bad memories. I’m glad Ryker left. He didn’t deserve that.

  Maybe that’s why I’ve felt like my heart belongs to Ryker. In a lot of ways, it does. I was right there hurting for him, but I couldn’t do anything. I was just a girl. I wish I had been stronger. I wish I could’ve gone over there and stopped his parents from beating on him and saying all those awful things to him.

  “Whatever mood you’re in,” Khloe begins, interrupting my thoughts as she points the cigarette holder in my face, “Knock it out.” I stare back at her and bite my tongue.

  She’s wearing my costume. I wanted to be Audrey Hepburn. I was the one who bought that costume. I should’ve said no when she asked to wear it. She does this shit all the time. She twirls the pearls around her finger, my pearls, and purses her lips. “Come on. We’re here to get drunk and get laid. And no one’s going to come around us with that sad look on your face.”

  She tilts the champagne flute in my hand up toward my mouth. “Drink up!”

  I got stuck with a shit roommate. A really shitty roommate. Next semester I’m moving out. She’s so selfish, and somehow she always convinces me to give her whatever she wants.

  I have to live with her, so I don’t want to rock the boat. I’ll just deal with this shit for one more month. One and a half, to be precise.

  I throw back the small glass of champagne.

  It’s actually really good. And at least Khloe got me thinking about something else for a change. I don’t need to think about Ryker or anything else other than relaxing tonight.

  Just as the thought enters my head, I look over to the doors and see him standing there.

  My lips part and I have to bite down on the inside of my cheek as my eyes travel over his masculine body.

  Ryker looks different from when I saw him last, but in the best of ways.

  He’s taller, and his shoulders are broader and more built. He shrugs off the camo jacket he's wearing, and his clean white t-shirt is snug around his frame and thick biceps.

  He runs a hand through his dark hair and and walks over to Levi and the other guys hanging around the tabl
e plated up with hors d'oeuvres. I was munching on them earlier. Liam and Marcel really went all out. It’s a bit odd calling the Henderson professors by their first names. It’s strange even being here for this party. But I fucking love it. It’s thrilling to get out and have some fun.

  I need to do this more often. But large parties just aren't my scene.

  I hear Ryker’s deep rough laugh as someone jokes about him coming in costume.

  He shrugs his shoulders with a sexy grin on his face. “I’m a hunter.” Hearing his voice again after all these years makes my heart skip a beat in my chest and my pussy heat with anticipation.

  “What the fuck is he doing here?” Khloe spits out. I cringe just hearing her voice.

  Ryker’s head whips over to us just as I turn to tell her off.

  My body freezes as I feel his eyes on me.

  I feel like a nervous little girl all over again. I nervously try to pull my long hair into a ponytail. It’s a stupid habit I have, but I forgot I'm wearing a damn headband with bunny ears, and it slips down off my head and over my eyes.

  Stupid fucking ears.

  I curse under my breath and try to compose myself as Khloe laughs.

  I was a rabbit last year. I felt so cute. The ears are white, and I had a cute white dress with a puff on the butt for my bunny tail. I did my own makeup, all cute with little dots and whiskers.

  But I spilled something on the dress, staining it at the end of the night last year.

  And since Khloe came to me last minute, crying about not having a costume, I’m just in a white tank top and jeans. I don't even have a cute little puff on the butt. I just pulled these ears out of the back of the closet instead of getting a new pair. She should’ve been the damn bunny.

  I did put some pink lipstick on the tip of my nose and drew whiskers on my face using eyeliner. But I don’t feel nearly as pretty in this getup compared to last year's.

  My cheeks heat with a blush. He’s going to see me like this.

  My fingers fly to my face to check if my makeup's okay. Which is stupid as fuck, 'cause as I look down at my fingertips which are now covered in black eyeliner, I’m sure all I did was smudge it.

  I need to get to a bathroom ASAP. Khloe starts to say something while rolling her eyes, but I ignore her and head straight to the kitchen. I know there’s a bathroom nearby.

  As I walk away from her, I hear Levi call out my name. My blood heats, and I almost trip in these heels. No way. I am not going over there like this. It’s been years since I’ve seen Ryker, and I need to make sure I don’t look like a mess. Even if that's what I feel I am right now.

  I keep walking straight ahead and pretend like I don’t hear him. I don’t stop until I reach the bathroom, quickly closing the door and leaning against it, sagging in relief. Holy shit.

  He’s really here. A broad smile covers my face as I push off the door and go right to the mirror. I slide the strap of my clutch off my wrist and pull out my eyeliner.

  This is gonna be an easy fix.

  I breathe out deeply and shake out my nerves. The smile on my face won’t go away. I’m finally going to put my big girl panties on and make sure Ryker knows exactly how I feel about him.

  Ryker

  My heartbeats feel like weak flickers in my chest. I know she saw me. I fucking know she did. And what’d she do? She turned and walked away as fast as she fucking could.

  Maybe I’m remembering all this wrong. I thought she was into me back then.

  Maybe she’s pissed. After all, I did up and leave without saying a damn word to her. Maybe she’s just grown up and realized I’m not good for her.

  That thought fucking hurts. Mostly because it’s true.

  When we were younger, I used to help her get through the woods in the back of our development. I knew I couldn’t have her, but whenever she asked me for help, I couldn’t say no.

  She wanted a shortcut to the strip mall right behind the woods. So I made one for her. It took a few days, but I made her a nice little path. She was too scared to go by herself, and I used to hang out at the mall anyway, so I didn't mind escorting her. I used to wait for her to come knock on our back door during the week. My parents were hardly ever home until later in the day. Much later. And she was so predictable, coming by every day at four.

  If my parents were home, she’d come out her back door late at night and throw rocks at my window to get my attention. She’d ask all sweet and shy if I was gonna go with her the next time she planned on making a trek. She always apologized. She never got over that, even the last time we went. I remember how she looked up at me with vulnerability in her eyes, expecting me to be annoyed or just say no.

  I never did. I would never tell her no.

  She was so fucking cute. If only she knew how much I looked forward to seeing her.

  It was a guilty pleasure of mine. I knew I could never have her. She was too sweet and innocent, and I was just a lowlife who’d never amount to anything.

  But I could at least enjoy her company and pretend like there was more between us.

  That was years ago, and back then she didn’t know any better.

  She should know better now than to let me have a taste of her. My heart plummets in my chest, all the way down to my stomach. She does know better. That has to be why she walked away.

  I don’t realize I’m staring until Levi shoves a beer in my hand. It’s ice cold, and the condensation on the outside of the bottle almost makes it slip from my grasp.

  The guys are all looking at me, and I wanna smack the shit out of them.

  “What?” I ask in a hard voice.

  “Guess she didn’t hear me,” Levi says and shrugs. She heard him. Just like I heard that chick with the pearls ask what I was doing here. I think I recognize her from somewhere, but I can’t place her. Maybe she was friends with Catherine back when I used to live next door. I don’t remember any of her friends being like that toward me back then, but that chick in the pearls sure as fuck doesn’t like me now.

  This was a fucking waste of time. I shouldn’t be here trying to blend in when I don’t belong.

  I open my mouth to come up with some excuse to bail, but Jake throws his arm around my shoulders. He’s got his fake vampire teeth in his mouth, and it keeps throwing me off every time he smiles.

  “She just went to powder her nose.” His breath smells like beer as he leans into me and laughs. At first I’m pissed they’re having a good laugh about it, but then he adds, “You gotta tell him what she said, Levi.”

  My heart does that stupid nervous shit again and I take a drink of my beer with my eyes on Levi. Jake chuckles and pats my back hard as I bring my arm back down. I don’t want them to know how on edge I am. But damn, I really am sweating this.

  I didn’t realize how much I wanted her until right now. Until the idea that she didn’t want me back popped into my head. I fucking hope that’s not the case. I want her.

  Levi’s grin spreads across his face. “Dude, she fucking wants you.”

  “She said that?” The words spill out of my mouth, and I can’t help it. They come out fast, and the guys have a good laugh over it. I let out a sigh and turn my head back to look to where she left the dining room.

  Levi looks me dead in the eyes and says, “Fuck no. You think she’d just come out and say it?”

  I huff and let the irritation grow on my face.

  “Relax, bro. She wants you.” Jake draws out the word and I just stare back at him.

  “If you’re fucking with me, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you,” I say, deadpan.

  Jake pats my shoulder and urges, “Go get her, man. I can’t fucking stand the fact I lost the bet.”

  My blood heats, and I resist the urge to clench my fists. They made a bet about my girl?

  “He bet that you’d be fucking her in a bathroom by now,” Levi says with a grin.

  “I knew you’d be classy and at least talk to her first,” Mickey says to my left. This guy barely knows me, but at
least he thinks I’m classy.

  “It's so damn obvious you two want each other. Just go get her already.” Levi’s got a grin plastered on his face as he waits for me to respond. Just go get her. Like it’s that easy. He must see the hesitation on my face.

  “Will you two shut the fuck up if I go talk to her?” I ask them.

  They all laugh and a smile finally cracks on my face. She wants me. Alright, I’m gonna go find her and get the girl I’ve wanted for so long. I down the rest of my beer and pass the empty bottle to Levi. He takes it and nods toward the dining room, which leads to the kitchen.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know where she went.”

  Levi reaches his hand out to Jake, and Jake shakes his head. “No, we gotta make sure he gets laid, or you don’t get paid.” I chuckle as they get into it and take my leave.

  As I make my way to the kitchen where Catherine went, a cute little cheerleader with glasses walks by. I look back over my shoulder at the guys as the argument ceases and they fall quiet. Jake's eyes are all over that ass. Those assholes can make fun of me all day, but I know they’re just as caught up in getting their girls as I am.

  Catherine

  I get only two steps out of the bathroom when my heart stops at a voice behind me.

  “Did you really come here as a kitten?” I recognize Ryker’s voice instantly, and it does things to my lower regions I'm ashamed to admit.

  I turn with my clutch held tightly in my hand. My heart swells in my chest. I give him a small smile, and feel a blush rise to my cheeks. It’s almost like time hasn’t passed. He’s leaning against the wall and kicks off it, shoving his hands in his pockets before he walks over to me.

  I try to remember what he asked and when I do, I roll my eyes and say, “I’m a bunny.” I point to the ears. They’re long and look nothing like cat ears. I love how it feels like we’re just picking up where we left off though. It feels so natural talking to him. A stupid little voice that gives me false hope is screaming, It’s a sign! It’s a sign! I’m trying to shut it down, but I can’t.