A Quest for Chumps (Departed Dimensions Book 1)

by G. M. Reinstra

  Though their journey into the forest had taken nearly three hours, John was effortlessly able to carry Remmy on his back in addition to the pack of rations he had brought along for lunch. Remmy awoke in the late morning just before the group arrived at the shore of a gigantic lake.

  “Wh-what? Where are we, John?” Remmy asked.

  “I’ll explain in a minute,” John said, and he let Remmy down with a heaving grunt. “Just eat up a bit first, okay?” he added, handing a very groggy-looking Remmy a package wrapped in parchment paper. “Actually, I think we all ought to eat while we’re at it,” John said, turning to the rest of the group. Nivin nodded, plopping down on the ground and withdrawing some bread and a canteen from within his cloak.

  Rialta considered this place ideal for a picnic. They had emerged from the heavily shadowed woods, and though a distinct chill remained in the air, the late morning sun provided enough heat to keep them all comfortable. John led them all to a patch of grass on a little slope overlooking the lake. Rialta sat down beside Nivin and Lorenza, taking a roasted vegetable sandwich she had purchased in the Chasm earlier that morning out of her pack.

  “This place is pretty incredible,” Lorenza said as she reclined in the grass to eat.

  “It’s okay I guess,” John said before stuffing a baked hen into his mouth. He demolished the poor bird in three huge bites.

  Now that Rialta had a chance to relax, eat, and really take in her surroundings, she was entranced by the view. The shores on all sides of the lake were dominated by sprawling hills. The day was so calm and still that the lake’s surface would have been indistinguishable from glass. The reflection on its surface mirrored the landscape, emerald-green sky and all. The water gave the reflected image an otherworldly sheen that made the sight feel dreamlike.

  “You know, I’ve never seen anything quite like this,” Rialta said between bites of her sandwich, still marveling at the view.

  “Like I said before, there’s some benefits to living here,” Lorenza said. “You ain’t gonna find a view like this just any old place.”

  Just then, Remmy rose to his feet and walked past them, leaving a half-eaten sandwich on the ground where he had been sitting. He was shuffling down the hill and toward the lake with a stilted gait as if he were in a trance. Everyone watched as he knelt at the very edge of the lake’s surface. He lowered his cupped hands down into the water and brought them up to his mouth to drink.

  “Rem-Remmy, what the hell are you doing?” Rialta shouted, standing up abruptly and looking at him in disbelief. “At least let me boil the water for you first if you’re really that thirsty! Or take some of mine!” she added, brandishing her canteen. “Who knows what kind of diseases—”

  “Ease off him, Rialta, he knows what he’s doing,” John said curtly. “Sometimes he just needs to…” John trailed off and looked toward the sky, apparently searching for the right words to articulate his thoughts. “He just needs to connect with nature. It’s a cleric thing, I guess. Trust me, he won’t get sick.”

  “But John...” Rialta trailed off, struggling to find a diplomatic way to say what was on her mind. “Is Remmy really a—”

  “A what?” John hissed.

  “Nothing,” Rialta said. “Forget I said anything.”

  John only nodded in response.

  “You good, Remmy?” Lorenza said when Remmy took a significant pause in his drinking.

  Remmy wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. “Yeah, I’m good,” he said brightly with a smile. “I’m feeling a lot better now.” He leapt to his feet and turned to face the others, but he did not look any of them in the eye. “I think the trail to the manor is off over here,” he continued, pointing to a rough dirt path that was partially obscured by some trees in the distance.

  “If we’re all done eating, let’s go then,” Rialta said.

  “I’m all set,” Lorenza said.

  “Same,” John said, pitching a heap of hen bones into the woods.

  Nivin nodded. He took the lead as he treaded toward the path Remmy had pointed to.

  As they climbed the path, they found a pair of massive stone doors built into the hillside. A rusty iron gate sat immediately outside the doors, effectively blocking off this point of ingress, whatever it was.

  “This couldn’t be the entrance to the manor house, could it?” Lorenza asked. “It looks more like a garage or a shed than the entrance to a mansion.” She stopped to inspect the doors.

  “I don’t think so,” John said. “Look, the path here continues up and to the left. I’m not sure what this is, but it’s not what we’re looking for.”

  “I guess that makes sense,” Lorenza said.

  With a few more glances at the strange doors, they all proceeded up the side of the hill.

  “Holy crap,” John said as they reached the apex of the hill.

  If the rest of the group’s awed murmurs were any indication, they all concurred with John’s assessment. At the very top of the hill stood a massive mansion with a limestone façade. Four massive pillars stood at its front entrance, and a wide veranda led from one of the bedrooms at the topmost floor. The platform must have overlooked the entire estate, including the steep hillside and the lake. Even at a cursory glance, Rialta could tell that the mansion was at least four stories tall.

  “Are you the hired help?”

  An older man wearing a neatly pressed black suit was peering out from behind one of the massive oak double-doors leading into the main entrance of the mansion.

  “We’re here to clear the rats out the basement, if that’s what you mean,” John replied.

  “Basement?” the old man replied, arching an eyebrow. “Surely you mean the crypt?”

  Nobody in the group responded. They simply looked around at each other, confused.

  The old man did not wait for a response. “It’s the crypt that needs to be cleared of those ghastly vermin, not the basement,” he said. He opened his mouth as if to continue his thought, but then stepped forward out of the doorway to greet them more properly. As the man approached them, it was immediately evident that he was quite portly, but in Rialta’s opinion, his heft, combined with his age, seemed to somehow add to his stately appearance. He was so impeccably dressed, well-groomed, and perfectly poised that his presence simply commanded respect. And yet, when he stopped in front of her, an uncanny, fleeting feeling of dread crashed over her, and she instinctively looked away.

  The older man held his gloved hand out to John, as John was the only one among them who had addressed him thus far. John stepped forward and shook his hand.

  “My name’s Leiford,” the old man said. “I’m the butler on the premises. The master of the house is away on business, but he left it to me to take care of our uh—” He shuddered. “—rodent problem,” he finished with a grimace.

  “John. And this is Rialta, Lorenza, Remmy, and Nivin,” John said, pointing to each of them in turn. “So we’re supposed to be clearing out the family crypt then?”

  “Afraid so,” said Leiford with a deep sigh. “I apologize for any confusion that I may have caused. I sent word of our job posting with a local courier. I’ll have to have a word with that young man about his mistake next time I see him. But all the same, the job is what it is. You can either take it or leave it. I’ll certainly understand if you do not wish to continue. The pay for the job is generous—fifty beryth. So ten beryth apiece if you split it among yourselves.”

  “Can we have a minute to talk it over?” John asked.

  “But of course,” Leiford said with a slight bow. Rialta imagined the act of bowing was simply a force of habit, for she and her friends—dirty and scruffy as they were—were hardly worth showing such a degree of respect. “Won’t you all come inside out of the cold? I’ll leave you in the parlor to discuss the matter in privacy.”

  “That’s right kind of you, Mr. Leiford,” said Lorenza. She nodded to the others as she began to walk toward the entryway.

  “Yes. Thank you, Ke
eper Leiford,” Rialta said. Her eyes shot open wide as she realized what she had just said. She immediately bowed her head and tousled her hair so that her bangs hung just over her eyes.

  Leiford spun toward Rialta and shot her an appraising glance. He hesitated for a moment and opened his mouth as if he was going to ask her a question. After a beat of silence, however, he simply offered Rialta a curt nod and showed them all into the entryway.

  “Shit, you’ve got to be kidding me…” Remmy whispered under his breath as everyone walked into the foyer.

  Rialta would have protested Remmy’s choice of language in such a proper setting, but under the circumstances, she could not help but agree with him. This place was the epitome of over-the-top luxury. The massive foyer must have had a ceiling of at least twenty feet in height. The walls spread out another thirty feet in every direction, and the décor was more opulent and decadent than anything Rialta had ever seen, even on Ro. Oil portraits of aristocrats hung on the walls, their colorful backgrounds shining in the dancing lights of the enormous crystal chandelier hung high over their heads. The intricate floral patterns etched into the blood-red carpet at their feet were clearly painstakingly stitched by hand by a master artisan. Gold sconces lined the walls and, in conjunction with the dazzling glow of the chandelier, filled the foyer with brilliant, golden light.

  Leiford smirked at the overwhelmed expressions of everyone in the group. “This way to the parlor, if you please,” he said, gesturing to a door on their left. They each walked into the next room in a single-file line.

  Rialta and the others continued to stare around in awe as they filtered through the door. This room was even more impressive than the foyer they had just left behind. A massive marble fireplace drew the eye to the center of the room, where a collection of leather sofas, couches, and armchairs surrounded the hearth. Even more portraits hung all around the walls in this room, and each canvas’s pale imitations of smiles long since forgotten seemed to delve into Rialta’s very soul, engendering a strange mix of nostalgia and fear. She continued to inspect every detail of the room—and then it happened. Her eyes briefly connected with the portrait above the mantle, and she felt a horrible chill seize her. She stuffed the panic she felt deep down within her, and before the others even had a chance to step five feet into the room, she blurted out:

  “I don’t think it really matters all that much whether it’s a basement or a crypt, right?”

  The horrible anxiety within her eased as they all turned to her, their attention forced away from the room’s décor.

  “Hold on, Rialta, you can’t be serious,” Lorenza said tentatively. “We’re talkin’ about delving into the sacred realm of the buried dead. They ain’t to be disturbed, ya know? It’s just bad karma.”

  “Surely not,” John said absentmindedly as he pilfered his way across a series of polished oak shelves adorning the walls on the opposite end of the room. He indiscriminately pocketed anything that glittered—crystal, gold, and silver.

  “Well think of it this way,” Rialta began, so caught up in her own emotions that she did not even bother to scold John for his behavior. “If these terrible rats are overrunning the crypt, we would be doing the family a favor by clearing out the infestation. Personally, I can’t think of a worse way to disgrace the dead by than allowing a horde of vermin to continue to live in their resting place.”

  “Ah, verily, how truly insightful, Rialta. A good point indeed,” John said flatly as he carelessly jammed one of his daggers into the wall and struggled to pry a particularly large golden ceremonial knife from above the mantle.

  Nivin stepped forward and placed his hand on Lorenza’s shoulder. He looked at her with a crooked frown and nodded at Rialta as if to say,

  She does have a point.

  Lorenza hesitated, glancing out the window as she considered Rialta’s words. “All the same, I don’t exactly relish the thought of going into a crypt. A basement is one thing, but a crypt…” She shuddered as she stared out into the distance. “What do you think, Remmy?” she asked.

  “I have to agree with Rialta,” Remmy said while he continued to look about the massive sitting room. “Every cleric knows the resting places of the dead are sacred. It would be a disgrace to allow those rats to continue thriving in the crypt. Also, it doesn’t hurt that we’d be getting paid a decent amount to take on the task.”

  “I suppose,” Lorenza said. “Well, it’s agreed then. I’m not lookin’ forward to this, but like that Leiford fellow said, it is what it is. And speaking of the little guy, let’s get him in here. Leiford!” Lorenza shouted.

  John immediately ceased his efforts to remove the knife from above the mantle and stowed his dagger back in his belt. “For shit’s sake, a little more warning next time, eh Lorenza?” he spat.

  “Oh, get over yourself John,” Lorenza said.

  “What is it?” Leiford bellowed as he ran into the room.

  “Nothin’, pumpkin,” Lorenza said with a wink, “just wanted to let you know we made up our minds. We’re going to take you up on your offer and clear out the crypt.”

  “Well, that… that is most welcome news,” Leiford said. He was panting and red in the face. “But I must insist you call me by my name next time, Lady Lorenza.”

  “Ain’t no ladies here, Leiford. Well, Rialta sort of is when she’s not blowin’ folks up with her magic,” Lorenza said. “But I sure as hell ain’t.”

  Rialta smirked, but she did not argue.

  “I digress. Point taken, Mr. Leiford,” Lorenza said. “Can you be so kind as to point us to the crypt’s entrance so we can get to work?”

  “But of course,” Leiford replied. “You actually would have passed the entrance to the crypt on your way up to the manor. It was built directly into the hillside. The entry is protected by a set of iron gates. They are locked of course, so you’ll need the key…”

  Leiford trailed off as he patted at his lapels.

  “That’s strange,” Leiford said. “I could have sworn it was in one of my coat pockets.”

  “Er, could you mean this key, sir?” John said, holding up a large, rusty key. “I uh—I just now found this on our way inside. Perhaps you dropped it when you were showing us in.”

  “Yes, yes that’s it!” Leiford said. “Well then, I suppose the five of you are all set to take care of business in the crypt. Er—but before you go, I must request that you refrain from causing any damage to the crypt itself while you’re all in there. I know you’ll need to fight in order to clear out the rats, but all the same.”

  “We’ll do our best, sir,” John said.

  “Very well then,” Leiford said. “Make your way down to the crypt at your leisure and let me know when the deed is done.”

  Moments later, John was leading the rest of the group back down the hillside. Soon they were back in front of the entrance to what they now understood to be the crypt. John stepped forward and inserted the giant key into the iron gate, grunting with the effort of trying to get the ancient lock to turn over. A horrible screeching whine emitted from the hinges of the gate when John finally managed to push it open. He motioned for Lorenza to help him with the stone doors just beyond the gate, and the pair of them opened the entrance to the crypt. A crumbling brick footpath extended into the tomb. Intermittent brick arches supported the walls and ceiling of roughly cut stone. The group stalled, each of them staring into the seemingly endless abyss of darkness in front of them.

  Remmy took a step forward and peered into the darkness, squinting his eyes. “It’s a little dark in here,” he said.

  Nivin let out a soft huff of amusement.

  An uneasy chill came over Rialta as she looked into the crypt. She gritted her teeth in an effort to will her fear away.

  We need to do this. We need money for food, supplies, and board. We need to do this to get home.

  Unlike the battle against the sheepstalkers, it was easier to force herself into action this time, like her bravery was a muscle that she had exe
rcised and made stronger.

  “I can give us some light, but that will mean I won’t be able to do much fighting,” Rialta said. “I think that would be all for the better, though. It would be too dangerous for me to use my most powerful spells in such a cramped environment. The fire could ricochet off the walls and harm the rest of you.”

  “That makes sense,” John said. “If you just keep up the light so we can see where we’re going, Nivin and I can take the lead and handle the majority of the fighting.” He turned to Nivin, who confirmed the arrangement with a curt nod.

  “Remmy and Lorenza can take up the rear,” John continued. “Remmy, you do your thing with the blessings. And Lorenza…” He trailed off, eyeing the bard with a wary sort of grimace. “I don’t mean to be rude, but frankly—”

  “—you think I’ll be useless here because my music will attract too much attention to us?” she finished, smirking and arching an eyebrow at him.

  “Well, yeah,” John replied.

  “I don’t know if you noticed yesterday, but I am a particularly talented bard,” Lorenza said. “My music has some very special qualities, John. When I play my music for you, the music bends to my will. If I need you to be inspired, then you will be inspired. If I need my enemies to falter, they falter. If I want them to hear nothing at all, they hear nothing. Do you get it? There’s a very particular magic behind my music. I know what I’m doing. You’ve got nothing to worry about from my end.”

  “Well all right then,” John said, his eyes flitting back and forth between Lorenza and the gleam of her horn beneath her cloak. “You and Remmy can work your magic from behind, then. That’s the game plan, unless anyone has any objections?”

  Nobody responded.

  Let’s go, then,” John said. Without another moment’s hesitation, he walked forward, ducking his head as he stepped through the entrance to the crypt. Nivin followed closely behind him.

  Rialta let out a long, low sigh. She held her hands a foot apart in front of her and focused her mana into her chest. A ball of bright blue flame erupted into being and hovered between her hands. She followed John and Nivin into the crypt, holding her fire up above her head to illuminate the path in front of her.