The Laughing Gods

by Wilbur Arron

  “They did not come here,” I said. I wondered if the rest ran afoul of the wild men of the desert.

  “My mistress assumed that the blocked pass and the stones that rolled down on them were your ideas?” Gyras asked.

  “No, it was the idea of some of my friends,” I admitted with a smile. “I told Zilar’s people, no one invades through the North Pass. Maybe he will believe me in the future. Now, what do you know about this main invasion?”

  “Not much,” Gyras answered with a shrug. “All I know was that the main invasion fleet consisted of fifty trierse* (large warships), one-hundred-fifty hoklas* (freighters) and twenty pentekonters* (small warships). It was going to leave seven days after these troops left from the north coast, so they are long gone by now.

  I made a quick calculation in my head. “That would be about four to five thousand infantry and about a thousand cavalry.”

  “That sounds about right,” Gyras went on. “Also, they are taking four siege engines with him.”

  “Did anyone know where they were going?” I knew Xanphos would need that information.

  “No, none of them knew. It was a secret,” Gyras said.

  By now we had reached my house. I invited Gyras in and told his two companions they could wait outside, but not to go exploring the forest.

  “I was here before, I know,” one of the troopers answered.

  I went inside with Melina, and we unrolled a scroll with a map of Argina on my flat table.

  “Here is the main Zilar base,” I said and pointed to a spot west of the Central Mountains. “Those trieres can maybe sail three or four days before they have to put in for food and water. That means they can sail only a couple of days east of the Central Mountains. There is the main port of Aegae north of Erinia. Our polemarch has that place covered. They may land, but they will not go far inland. The only other place is Vorepolis on the northwest tip of Argina, but the White Mountains make that place isolated. The only way into it is by ship or through two narrow paces in the mountains. An army of old women could stop an invasion through those passes.”

  “I do not know Argina well,” Gyras said. “White Mountains, what are they?”

  Melina interrupted and pointed to the range of mountains to the northeast of us near the sea. “The White Mountains are the tallest mountains in Argina. The Allund River starts in those mountains and runs through here. Because it is so isolated, Vorepolis is almost its own poli-kratos* (independent city). Technically it is part of Erinus, but it has always acted on its own. It has not been worth the effort to force them into the eparchia and no ethnarch was ever interested in spending the money and troops to do it.”

  “No, it has to be Aegae,” I said. “It is the only place they can invade and then spread out.”

  “Let us hope your polemarch is as good as they say he is,” Gyras said. “You know they do not need a port to land. Any large beach would do.”

  “Yes, but most of the north coast is part of the Northern Forest,” I added. “There are no supplies there, and it would take time to get through the forest. Aegae has the main road that is wide open.”

  “I think we still need to talk to my brother about this,” Melina said. “He is the tetrarch.”

  “I do not want to travel to the polis with three possible assassins on the loose.”

  Gyras looked up in shock, so I explained what had happened over the past few days.

  “Your ethnarch is a fool,” Gyras said bluntly. “You are his best weapon, and he wants to kill you at the start of a campaign.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “You are right, but this is his game, not mine.”

  “We can sneak in through one of the secret entrances at night with our friends,” Melina suggested. “I doubt any harm will come to us.”

  “We do not know if your brother is there.” I told her.

  “Then we can send him a message,” Melina said.

  I knew I was not going to win this argument. I took a deep breath and resigned myself to the inevitable. “Very well, is there anything else, Gyras?”

  “No,” he said. “That was it. I need to get back anyway.”

  “You need supplies?” I asked.

  “I could use some grain for my horses and some preserved food for the return,” he said.

  “I will take care of that,” I told them. “Melina, start writing down what you heard, and we will leave at night.” I turned to Gyras. “You and your men can stay here tonight. I will tell my friends not to bother you and follow you back until you leave the forest.”

  “Thanks,” Gyras said, sincerely.

  We all started to get to work. Melina’s suggestion to visit the polis could also solve another problem. I was running low on foods supplies and meat, and my crops would not be ready until the fall, so it be a good time to resupply. I took three minae of gold dust with me, and that emptied my second of three bags. I would need to get more soon if these expenses continued.

  Melina, Alkos, Alkina, Lycos, Lykina, and I all set out after dark. I left the others to watch over Gyras and his men. This time, I took the Speaking Stone with me so I could call the others when we left. Melina and I rode through the forest on Lycos and Lykina. It did not take long for us to reach the old well entrance. There we left our friends and passed through the secret passage until we were back in the palace. Melina attracted the attention of a guard who told us that Cleon and Iolaos had returned two days ago with half his troops. He was quite surprised to see us. Cleon came over by himself to meet us.

  “Philie told me what happened,” Cleon apologized. “I am sorry, both for what happened to you and what my wife did. I will deal with her later. I have confined her to her room.”

  “Do not do anything rash,” I suggested. “It was not her fault. You can blame our ethnarch and his sons.”

  Cleon’s eyes narrowed, almost like Lycos’ did when he got angry. “I fully intend to. Ethnarch or not, Megas Archon or not, no one does that to my family.”

  “We will take care of that later,” I told him. “I have news, and it would be good if Iolaos and Philie heard about this too.”

  “Fine, we will all meet in my study,” he said and sent messengers after them.

  We got out the maps of Argina, and I told everyone exactly what Gyras told me.

  “Xanphos and I were wondering why no one came through the North Pass,” Cleon said. “Thank the Old Ones for me when you see them again.”

  “It is that fleet that bothers me,” Iolaos said. “I agree with Alex; Aegae is the obvious place to go. In fact, it is almost the only place to go, and that is what causes me the most trouble. The Zilar are slow to learn, but they are not foolish. Landing in Aegae is foolish.”

  “I know,” I said. “But it is just as foolish to land in Vorepolis or on the undeveloped coast; besides with the time that has passed, the landing must have already occurred. Why have we heard nothing about it?”

  “I do not know,” Cleon said. “I do not know what they are doing, and that bothers me. What are we overlooking?”

  “I can tell you we found at least one more of Melanthios’ associates,” Philie said with a smile. “Through my spies, I heard he was asking about Melanthios and you in two taverns. I took ten of my men to the bar and arrested him. He tried to run away, but he did not get far.”

  “Is he alive?” I asked.

  “Phillipos, the physician says he will live,” Philie said. “Let us say Melanthios has someone to talk to in the next dungeon cell.”

  “I would keep them apart, Philie,” I suggested. “There is no telling what they are planning.”

  “That is not that easy,” she said. “We do not have that many dungeon cells.”

  “I should get this news off to Xanphos and Diomedes,” Cleon said, looking at the map. “I agree with Iolaos, this makes no sense to me, and that is what bothers me the most.”

  “If you do not mind, Melina and I would like to stay here for a couple of days?” I asked. “I need to buy some more grain
and other food supplies. Also, if something does happen to the north, it will be easier for me to get the news here than in my forest.”

  “I do not mind,” Cleon said. “I will have Iolaos arrange a guard to go with you around town.”

  I did not like that idea but resigned myself again to the inevitable precautions that went with my new status as a prime target.

  “We found the room Melanthios used when in town,” Philie told us. “He was using the name Diadromes and said he was a grain merchant from Arginnia. When we searched his room, we found, among other things, a purse with fifty silver drachmae. I will put the word out to the tavern-keepers to keep a lookout for strangers, especially strangers with bows. If they see something, I will use that money as a reward for useful information.”

  “I will also have my men at the gate searching strangers,” Iolaos told me.

  “And Melina and I will keep our trips outside the palace to a minimum,” I added.

  Over the next two days, Melina and I went out to order another cart of grain. That should last us until my fields ripened in the fall. I also bought some prepared meats and other supplies to be delivered to my hut. I paid in silver drachmae that I got from the money changer both Malcor and I used. It was a useful arrangement. We paid a premium price in gold for the drachmae, and the moneylender kept his mouth shut where he got it. I distinctly remember as a boy, Malcor told the moneylender he would get very angry if he found out the moneylender talked about where he got the gold. That ensured silence from all parties.

  Three days later, Melina and I were getting ready to leave through the secret passage when three riders came to Korpolis from the north. I thought they were dispatch riders until I heard Cleon call out, “Archon Diomedes, I was not expecting you.”

  Cleon ushered the archon into the palace and his study. He called for Philie and Iolaos. Melina and I went along also, invited or not. I wanted words with the ethnarch’s youngest son. He looked surprised to find me there. When we were all in the room, Cleon called for his wife and then ordered the doors shut with guards posted at a distance so they would not overhear.

  Diomedes was no fool. He saw all of us looking at him with open hostility. He looked like he had no idea why we were angry. Cleon, Theresa, and I gladly told him the reason. Philie filled in the details. During our heated conversation, he always maintained he did not know what we were talking about. Finally, after we all vented our spleens, he sat back in Cleon’s chair and spoke up in a commanding voice, showing no apology.

  “I swear by all the gods I know nothing about what you have told me. I know nothing about former Tetrarch Theron being held in Arginnia, or using him to get Theresa to act as a spy, or the attempt on Alexio’s life, or anything else about what this man Melanthios has done. The only thing I do know is that I have heard my brother mention that Melanthios works with Krateros whom my brother uses to keep a close eye on problems within our vasíleio.”

  Although magik cannot find if someone speaks the truth or not, I am also a third level sensitive; that does allow me to feel the emotions of those around me. I concentrated on Diomedes, and I felt he was speaking the truth. I turned to Philie who is a second level sensitive and can do much the same; only she cannot use magik. She nodded her confirmation. Either Diomedes was telling the truth, or he was one of the best damn liars I have ever met.

  “Then I need to speak to Pallas or your father because I will not allow anyone to use my family like this,” Cleon spoke out still sounding angry.

  “I would not suggest that,” Diomedes said as a warning. “If you remember, my brother said he would use anyone or anything to ensure the ethnarchy remains in our hands. He will do it, and he will not care about you or your wife. All your outbursts will achieve is to get you all thrown into the dungeon with Melanthios.”

  “And I am to allow your brother to shoot arrows at me and hope they miss?” I said, letting my voice rise. “I told you what I would do if you interfered in my life. I recently sent your father a letter reminding him of that fact. A mage is allowed the right of self-protection. If that means treating your brother like Lycus, then so be it.”

  Diomedes leaped to his feet, enraged and wide-eyed. “You would not dare!”

  I leaned over, so my face was on a level with his and less than a doron away. “Watch me,” I growled.

  Just then I felt a large hand grab me by the shoulder and pull me back. It was Philie who stepped between us. “Are you two mad?” she cried out. “Fighting among ourselves is handing this vasíleio to the Zilar.”

  “My wife is right,” Iolaos said now getting in between Cleon and Diomedes. “We have other more important problems.”

  “My friend,” Philie turned toward me with her deep brown eyes glaring at me. “You need to control your temper, although you certainly have cause for your anger. However, this man has not harmed you.”

  Iolaos turned to Cleon. “Tetrarch Cleon, the same can be said for you, even though you also have just cause to be angry.”

  Finally, Iolaos turned to Diomedes. “Archon Diomedes you and your brother need to understand you cannot use people like this. It goes against our customs. That is especially true for those people here whom you will need to combat the Zilar.”

  “We just had an enemy invasion fleet disappear from under our noses,” Philie added. “We do not need this argument here and now.”

  Diomedes sat back down in Cleon’s chair. “That is no longer true,” he said. “It is the reason I am traveling through Korpolis. Pallas is bringing up the rest of the army, and I wanted to ride to meet him with this news. We now know where their invasion fleet went, although only the gods know why it is there.”

  “And where is that?” Cleon asked his voice still tense.

  “They invaded Vorepolis,” Diomedes told us. “They sailed right by Aegae and went straight to Vorepolis where they landed and took the polis easily.”

  “Why?” I asked. “They have trapped themselves there. They cannot get out through the mountains. It is like invading through North Pass. The two small passes are blocked by snow in the winter. Even if they can hold the passes, any major force could block their passage as they come down the mountains.”

  “Unless they sail out,” Philie said.

  “Are we sure they invaded Vorepolis?” Cleon asked. “They did not just sack it and strip it for supplies? They could sail down the east coast of Argina from there.”

  “They did not sack the polis,” Diomedes said. “They took it and sent their troops out to occupy it. Two of the townspeople managed to escape. They told us the Zilar are forcing the three thousand people living there to start cutting trees and digging ditches in the hills. Many of their troops are also working in the fields.”

  This was starting to sound familiar. “Do we have any maps of this place?” I asked.

  Cleon went over to his shelves and started looking through some scrolls. After discarding a few, he found the one he wanted. He brought it out and unrolled it on his desk. It was a map of Erinus. We looked at its northeast tip and saw the Polis of Vorepolis. It stood on the coast in a small flat coastal plain. The ground was flat for about two milio from the sea. Then the ground became uneven with rolling hills and forests. Five milio away from the coast the mountains began in earnest. The White Mountains were high, but not wide like the Central Mountains. Two small roads went through the White Mountains and came down into the Northern Forest on the other side. Once over the White Mountain, there were fifty or so milio of heavy forest before it ended at the flat plains that surrounded the polis of Oropus, the capital of the Tetrarchy of Anatiphi. Not a place I would like to move an army through. It all seemed absurd. That is when the idea suddenly hit me like a message from the gods.

  “They are not going to invade Erinia from Vorepolis,” I blurted out. “They are going to use it as a base.”

  Everyone looked up at me; I could clearly see Diomedes and the others had no idea what I was talking about. “Look,” I explained and pointed to
the Zilar main base. “Here is where the Zilar are. They built it in the desert. They can grow no food there; they have no supplies or resources. Everything needs to be brought in by ship: food, fodder, wood, men, weapons, everything. That has to be a strain on their resources. Now they take Vorepolis. It is fertile, isolated, and full of resources. It has about three thousand people the Zilar can use as slaves to cut down trees and prepare new lands to grow food. They also have their troops to help. It is exactly like Dysiasty, only you cannot march to this place to confront them, and you cannot cut off their resources as the Old Ones did before. They also have wood and craftsmen to repair their ships and prepare siege equipment. It is a base they can use to invade Argina, and they do not have to supply it nearly as much. From Vorepolis it is about a three or four-day journey to sail down the east coast. Once they get past the mountains and forests, there are many open spaces they can land and march inland.”

  “And we cannot get to them because they can block the passes over the White Mountains,” Iolaos said.

  I continued now that I could see Zilar’s plan. “Other than those passes, the only way to get to Vorepolis is by ship, and they have fifty trieres to stop that. Plus, they know Argina has no fleet. They can also use those trieres to stop Lantia from sending help to us.”

  “Brilliant,” Cleon said, shaking his head. “They took Vorepolis because of its isolation. It is the perfect base.”

  “It will take them a while to get any fields prepared, food grown, and other resources ready,” Diomedes said. “It will not be ready this year.”

  “No,” I admitted. “But they will have ample supplies ready a year from the fall. Then they can go anywhere in Argina. They can easily bring reinforcements in men and ships to make their army even larger.”

  “And there is little or nothing we can do about it,” Diomedes cursed. “By the gods, we cannot even spy on them unless we send someone over the mountains. Zeus, what a mess,” the archon said holding his head in his hands.

  “You need to tell your brother and send word to your father,” Cleon added.