The Laughing Gods

by Wilbur Arron

  “Are we done with this farce?” Pallas asked bitterly. “If so, I would like to continue.”

  There was no answer. Pentheus kept his mouth closed.

  “Thank you,” Pallas grunted. “As I said before, I will need your help. What I do not know is the best way to use your help. Whatever we do, we have to do it by next spring at the latest. Otherwise, we may find we have both a Zilar and Lantia army on our shore by fall. This is why I called this meeting; I could use suggestions from all of you on the best ways to destroy the Zilar force before the Lantian force gets here.”

  “I would suggest a quick action now against the Zilar,” Laodamus said. “Without them, my father cannot invade.”

  “That may not be necessary,” Philocrates added. “When we left, there was already talk in many of the poleis about the many mages that had left Lantia. There was also talk about the destruction of the Academy and the Megas Mage. Many were unhappy and blamed Pytheas. There is not enough bad sentiment for an uprising as of now, however.”

  Thinking about what had happened, I saw one possible solution. “The whole plan of the Zilar depends on three things: the first is growing enough supplies in Vorepolis to support a large invasion army, the second is to receive reinforcements and more arms from the Zilar main base, the third is the ships needed to carry the troops. If we destroy those ships, those Zilar troops are going nowhere.”

  There was a series of mumbles from within the room before Xanphos spoke up. “Master Mage Sopholus is correct. Those ships are the key. Eliminate them, and the Zilar will have to march over the White Mountains with their army. A path we can easily defend. Then they have to walk through seventy milio of dense forest. That will not be easy with our forces there.”

  “I agree,” Laodamus said. “Both Master Mage Sopholus and Polemarch Xanphos are correct. The ships are the key; only how do we turn that key?”

  “I agree,” Pallas added. “However, we should also look into the best way to destroy the Zilar base in Vorepolis and to the west of the Central Mountains. Without those bases, the Zilar have no place in Argina from which to launch an attack.”

  “There might be a way to do this,” Xanphos said. “However, I do not want to discuss this openly.”

  I could see a way myself, but it would be difficult and dangerous. I just nodded for now.

  “Megas Archon Pallas,” one of the Master Mages called out. “May I ask what you and your father think about reestablishing the Mage Academy in Argina?”

  Pallas held his hands out for quiet. “Neither myself nor my father object to you mages setting up the Academy here. Our only stipulation is that you obey the laws of Argina.”

  That seemed a radical difference from what I thought Pallas or the ethnarch would ask for. I started to wonder if Sysgros and his son had a change of heart, or if this was just another elaborate plot to get us to cooperate to help save them. For now at least, it did not matter. The simple fact was that we needed each other to survive. Other considerations would be resolved later.

  “You have given us much to consider,” the unknown Mage Council member said. “I would like time to discuss this with the members of my Brotherhood.”

  I saw Laodamus whisper into Pallas’ ear. Both men nodded in agreement, and the Pallas answered in a very respectful voice. “I understand Mage Council Member Galenus. However, I would like to see you as well as Mage Council Members Carenos, Theodores and Philocrates, Master Mage Sopholus, and Tetrarch Cleon in his study now.”

  I noted Pentheus’ name was not called. He noted it, too, and he turned and stormed out of the meeting with half a dozen senior mages following behind. I heard Pallas call out Iolaos’ name and speak to him privately for a moment before Iolaos left, and then Pallas called Chremon and whispered something to him, also. Pallas, Laodamus, Xanphos, and Cleon went to Cleon’s study while the rest of us tagged behind. I called one of the local guards over and asked that he have the housemaster tell my wife I would join her later in our room.

  Cleon went ahead and opened the large doors and had the house servants bring in chairs to seat all of us. He also brought in some wine and nine kylikes to drink from and a tray of fresh fruit, mostly grapes, olives, and apple slices. After we all entered, Chremon shut the two large bronze doors, and I saw at least half a dozen guards take up position outside but out of earshot. Pallas did not want this meeting overheard. Cleon poured out the wine, and Pallas began.

  “Although I hope to hear good advice from your other mages, I think this group is who I will need to depend on for this upcoming fight.”

  “We are not military men,” Carenos said. “In that respect, Pentheus is correct. Alex knows more about this than any of us.”

  “Which is why he is here,” Pallas said. “Well, Alex, what do you think?”

  I was kind of flattered they asked, but I was no stratigos either. “I do have an idea, but I do not know if it will work.”

  “You have been right so far,” Xanphos said. “Let us hear it.”

  “Those Zilar ships are in the harbor,” I pointed out. “As the autumn comes and the weather turns, they will keep close to port if I am correct.”

  “That is what we usually do,” Laodamus added.

  “Well, that port is small so the ships will be tied up close together. If we can sneak a ship into their harbor on which there are half a dozen senior mages, we can throw several fireballs into those ships. They will burn like torches.”

  Laodamus interrupted me. “In winter we normally haul them up on the beach, but you are right, they will be stacked close together. They will burn very easily, only how do you plan to sneak in?”

  “We have two Zilar trierse,” I pointed out. “I was thinking of using them.”

  Laodamus’ face lit up. “Not a Trojan Horse, but a Trojan Shark. I like the idea.”

  “I have another idea,” Xanphos said. “We cannot get through the mountain passes because they have put up stone walls and forts to block our way. Could we use magik to destroy them? If we can get our army beyond those mountain passes, we can destroy the Zilar that way.”

  “It depends on the walls and forts,” Philocrates added. “Some structures we can destroy with fire, lightning, or even force. Heavy stone walls we cannot destroy. We can, however, keep people off the top of those walls while your troops assault them.”

  “I can show you their defenses,” Xanphos said. “We have been sending in spies to keep track of their construction. I have a full set of drawings.”

  “I will look at them,” Philocrates said.

  “I have another idea,” Galenus said. “Do both.”

  That confused me, as well as Xanphos and Pallas. All of us stared at the Mage Council member.

  “You send your army in and start your attack,” Galenus explained. “Normally they will pull troops from the harbor to help defend the passes. That will leave the docks mostly unguarded. Then bring in your Trojan Shark and burn everything. That task would be easier with fewer guards around. With those ships gone, the Zilar cannot escape the polis. You will have them and the polis.”

  “Zeus! what an idea,” Xanphos said. “We could take both the polis and the army.”

  “It will have to work the first time,” Pallas said. “We will only get the one attempt.”

  “So,” I said. “I doubt they will be expecting it.”

  “I know they will not expect a direct attack through the mountain passes,” Xanphos repeated.

  Pallas thought it over and then looked at Cleon and Laodamus. Both nodded their approval. “Then plan carefully, because we stake the fate of Argina on this attack.”

  “One other thing,” Xanphos said grimly. “We discuss this with no one,” he emphasized. “If the Zilar gets one whiff of this plan, we will be slaughtered. Our only chance is a complete surprise. So, we tell no one, not even our wives,” he said, looking at Cleon and me.

  “Understood,” I said.

  “Agreed,” Cleon added.

  “Very well,” Pall
as told us. “Let the mages review our drawings of the Zilar defenses and decide what, if anything, they can do about them. Alex, I want you to handle the attack from the ships. We will meet back here in twenty days.”

  After some hurried explanation to my wife about having to go away again, I left the next morning. Pallas assigned Chremon and five other guardsmen as my escort. Laodamus also went with us. He was the closest thing to a navarch we had. Melina was not happy I was going without her, nor that I could not talk to her about what happened. I told her privately that I could not discuss anything with her at Pallas’s orders, especially not here in the palace. She made it clear that night she was not pleased with my new status.

  When we got to Aegae four days later, I started to examine the boats we had. The first thing I noticed was they were in the open. A raiding party could easily burn these boats. I discussed this with Laodamus and Chremon. Laodamus told me that soon the boats would have to come out of the water for maintenance and to protect them from winter storms. He sent to Cos for three crews of rowers to provide the labor to get the boats as far up the beach as they could.

  I studied the ships and soon realized that with some simple modifications, I could put two or three mages on each Zilar trierse. That would make them formidable. I made a sketch of what I wanted done and gave it to the head shipwright and asked him to prepare the equipment, but not to install it yet.

  Another surprise came when Chremon appeared to send four of his men back to Erinia. Instead, they went two to the north and two to the south and then came back to Aegae quietly through the forest. They were looking for enemy scouts. They found three. One died in the struggle, the other two were tied up and brought back to town. On them, we found drawings of the port and notes on what we were doing. Questioning the prisoners, we found one was a citizen of Vorepolis who was forced to act as a guide for the Zilar scout, which he did to save his family from death. This confirmed to me that the Zilar knew of our fleet. Chremon sent a message to the army for about twenty scouts to infiltrate the woods and keep any more spies from reporting back.

  As soon as the ex-slave rowers and trainees arrived, we pulled every ship out of the water and rolled them on logs into the nearby forest. The forest came down close to the oceanfront near the port, and this helped us. We only had to move the ships less than a stadion to fully hide them in the woods. After we hid the ships the best we could, Laodamus ordered a heavy guard be placed on them. That effort required several days of back-breaking work to complete. When we finished, the shipwrights would start work on newer ships and concentrated on modifying the ships we had. It was nineteen days after I left that I managed to get back to Korpolis.

  The next morning the other mages arrive in Korpolis with Pallas. We had another private meeting.

  I reported with some modifications; we were able to convert the Zilar trierse into ships from which we could cast magik.

  Pallas look satisfied and the turned to Philocrates and Theodoros about the fortifications in the White Mountain passes.

  “The Zilar set up four levels of defense in each pass,” Theodoros said. “The outermost and strongest layer is made of stone. It will be impossible to use magik on them. However, there is enough cover close to the wall in the south pass where we could approach and use magik to keep anyone off the top of that wall when our troops assault it. Beyond the stone wall stands a large wooden fort, then another wooden wall across the pass with a wooden palisade. It will be easy to use fire on that. Past the wooden wall was a smaller wooden fort which would easily burn. Once we get over the stone wall, things will be easier.”

  “Thanks,” Pallas said with a smile. “Getting past those defenses is my major concern for this attack. I am also concerned about those spies in Aegae.”

  “So am I,” Laodamus said. “Your man Chremon has his scouts scouring the woods. We have been building defenses around the boats. It will be hard for the Zilar to attack them.”

  “Well then, we have done what we can,” Pallas said and looked at his polemarch. “Xanphos, have we missed anything?”

  “We can do nothing more than train our troops for taking the south pass between now and the late fall. There is one good thing. With our boats out of the water, I doubt the Zilar navarch will expect anything from our navy.”

  “I am worried about the Lantian navy,” Laodamus said. “They still outnumber us by at least three to one in ships.”

  “That we can do nothing about,” Xanphos told us. “We have no means now to conduct a raid against Lantia without risking our ships, which we will need to use against the Zilar.”

  “So, there is nothing more to do except wait?” I asked.

  “No,” Pallas said, “And I hate waiting. It gives your enemy a chance to attack.”

  I agreed with Pallas for once, but there was little I could do about it.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN: ASSAULT

  “I do not understand why you cannot tell me anything. We are not in the palace anymore. You do not trust me?”

  I turned to my wife and tried to explain. “I have been told by the Megas Archon, the polemarch, and the Mage Council members to keep my mouth shut about what I have learned. I will not even discuss this with Iolaos or my forest friends. If even a whisper of this gets out, thousands may die, including us.”

  My wife turned around and sulked at my obstinance. We rode on silently back to our house. We got there in the late morning and unpacked our things. I removed the saddles and bridals and placed them in our outside storeroom. I let the horses run free. They would be collected and taken to the horse herd. I got some salted meat from the smokehouse and some grain and vegetables, and we made a light dinner. After eating in palaces for a few days, I noticed I was getting a bit bigger around the middle.

  Near nightfall, I was feeling dirty, so I bathed in the settling pond outside. Both the heat of the day and warm water made for a comfortable bath. When I was already in the water, Melina came out and undressed in front of me. As used as I am to seeing her naked before me, I still get a strong urge to love my wife when she does this. Fortunately for both of us, she feels the same way. This is why summer outside baths tends to take a while longer than inside winter baths.

  Our wheat and barley harvest would be good, I thought. The rice harvest would be less because no one tended it correctly while we were gone. My herb and vegetable gardens were doing good, and the fruit on my cherry and apple trees were ripening perfectly. It would be a fine harvest. I went back to studying magik, thinking I might need it soon.

  I was working a lot on my sphere of force. I found casting it around myself was easy enough, but I was still having trouble projecting the sphere away from me. After experimenting for two days, I was able to do it. It was just a matter of concentration. You have to concentrate on both the projection of force from the mage and the item or items you seek to protect. I was finally able to do it after much practice.

  On the third day, my friends told me of another rider. This one they knew. It was Iolaos, and he rode into the open area near my home. I was waiting there with Melina.

  “What brings you here so soon?” I asked.

  “Tetrarch Cleon got a message from Arginnia,” Iolaos said looking serious. “There has been an incident involving that moros Pentheus. He had managed to get an audience with our ethnarch and ordered that you must be arrested and executed. Sysgros was interested in none of it and said you were needed. Pentheus got so angry at him, he started to argue and threaten our ethnarch. Then Sysgros ordered Pentheus thrown out of the palace and arrested. Pentheus threw a force ball and knocked down the Ethnarch and several guards. No one was hurt. The fool just walked out of the palace and Arginnia. Everyone was afraid to follow him. Now no one knows where the old man has gone, but Sysgros is ready to strangle him.”

  “The gods protect us from that anoitios,” I cursed. “He has become unbalanced, and it is not just with hating me. He despises the fact he was rejected by the other Mage Council members.”

  “
Cleon heard this and sent me to warn you,” Iolaos went on.

  “Well, thank you,” I said and held out my hand which he took. “Would you like to stay tonight?”

  “No, I need to get back,” Iolaos said, getting up on his horse. “Philie is getting close to her time, and so is Theresa.”

  “We understand,” Melina said, “Our love to both of them.”

  With that, Iolaos rode off back toward town. I just stood there. If it is not the Zilar, it is some other ass trying to cause trouble. You would think a Mage Council member would know better. And they have the gall to find fault with me.

  The next morning, I called all my animal friends together. I explained they should be on the watch for any mage that came into the forest. Like me, they can mentally detect a third-level sensitive easily, besides their naturally heightened senses of seeing, hearing, and smell. If they found a mage, they were not to get near him but to come and talk to me.

  Keros came to me a few days later and said he had smelled some strange scents of men across the river. That struck me as funny since Aetos and Aerra were both very good at spotting trouble from the desert. Since things were quiet now, I decided to have a look around the forest on the other side of the river. I seldom went there, but I felt I should at least look it over. Melina said she would go with me. I asked both Keros and Kerina if we could ride them. They agreed. We crossed the Allund River and went to the south part of the forest. We packed about two days of supplies and two sleeping blankets just in case we stayed overnight.

  There is an open plain just on the other side of the river. It takes up most of the area between the south side of the river and the mountains to the south. It would take a man almost two days to walk around it. In that vast open grassland runs the wild horse herd Melina and I use when we need mounts. Some of the other animals like deer, wild cattle, and other plant-eaters will eat here, but they are wary. This is because we also have wolves that live in the woods near this plain and they hunt the plant-eaters. Lycos and Lykina often hunt here; they will kill a horse or a few deer. It takes a lot to feed a wolf body over twice standard size. I am told in the other vasíleia they have large cats that hunt in the wild. We have no cats in Argina, except for small house cats that are popular because they help keep the mice and other rodents under control.