by Mercy B
Bella looked to Rahmeek with wide eyes. She felt he was taking entirely too long to explain the details of everything to their son. Rafeeq had it all wrong and the quicker they cleared the air, the quicker he’d see the error in his tone.
When Rahmeek still refused to set the story straight Bella turned to her son, “Hampsher didn’t pull any triggers. Yes, she did point a gun at your father, but she didn’t shoot him.”
Rahmeek stepped forward because he knew more about Fida or Hampsher as Rafeeq knew her. It was best that he took over. “Like your mother said, Hampsher shot neither you nor I. The wounds we sustained came from an old coward who thought that shooting up this home was the answer to his problems. He’s no longer breathing.” Rahmeek looked away from his son to look at Hampsher. “Every bullet Hampsher released from the chamber of her gun was directed towards our enemies. She was on our side when it mattered most, putting herself and your child’s life on the line. You should be thankful that she only sustained minor injuries or else you could’ve lost your child and the woman you love.”
Rafeeq scoffed, still unconvinced by what Rahmeek told him. All he saw was Hampsher’s gun drawn while pressed in his father’s chest. She boldly made threats about it being his time to die. Nothing Rahmeek said would erase that memory. As far as Rafeeq was concerned it was just motivation to never trust and fall in love with a woman again. Hampsher turned out to be everything he never knew she could be. He was good on that love shit. It left you heartbroken, confused and full of bullets.
“Besides if Fida wanted me dead, trust me when I say I would be son.”
“Fida? Who the hell is that?”
Rahmeek chuckled as he moved closer to his son. They were now both facing where Hampsher had been set up. “There’s a lot that you don’t know about her, but trust me when I tell you that she’s deadly. If that girl,” he pointed to where she lay, “wanted me dead, there would be nothing anyone could do to help me. When it came down to it, she hesitated. That hesitation was everything I needed to know. I was confident that she didn’t want me dead as bad as she believed she did.”
Rafeeq had the urge to pace the floor but his body was still too weak. All he did was drop his head. Everything his father said sounded like he had an audio recorder in his mind. Fida, Hampsher, or whoever she was, clearly had him clueless about who she really was, and who he’d fallen for. Rafeeq heard every word his father spoke in her defense, but none of it made him feel better. If anything his disdain intensified.
“How do you know anything about her in the first place? Did you know who and what she was capable of all along?”
Rahmeek shook his head. “Nah, I didn’t know but by the time I’d figured it out it was too late because you were already in too deep and I would never intentionally hurt you or put you in a position that made you feel like you had to choose sides.”
“But I still ended up doing that in the end. She had a gun to your chest. She was ready to pull the trigger. Why?”
Silently chuckling Rahmeek questioned, “What would you do if someone came at me guns blazing? Even if you never saw them pull the trigger, would you still hunt them down and end their life?”
Rafeeq nodded his head, “Without a doubt because you are an extension of me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you so I’d owe you that.”
“Exactly. I won’t get too deep but that’s similar to Hampsher’s hatred for me. All she knew was what she’d been told. I want to fault her for that but I can’t because she still had my back. Not that it would’ve been necessary, but when the shooting happened she had the perfect opportunity to mask her kill shot and didn’t. I’m not saying she’s perfect, however, I am saying that she isn’t all bad either.”
“We’ve been keeping her on sedatives since the shooting. She sustained injuries but they weren’t life threatening. Her life was spared because of the child you two created together. For the time being Hampsher’s body is your baby’s home. Who would we be if we just allowed Hampsher to die right along with a piece of you?” Bella’s voice shook but she didn’t shed a tear.
Rafeeq’s eyes flew to Hampsher’s belly. He hadn’t thought to check and see if she were still pregnant or not. Instantly, he beat himself up. His child should’ve been his first concern because if nothing else, what his mother said was true: Hampsher was their baby’s home. Something about those words structured that way made Rafeeq’s heart melt. Though he gave zero fucks about the mother, he wanted her to give birth. He may not have said it but by the shift in the room, Rahmeek and Bella both knew that he appreciated what they did. It had to have been hard sparing Hampsher while knowing all that she’d done or planned to do. Rafeeq had saved her plenty of times in different ways, but he wanted this to be his last.
“So, who pulled the trigger on us then?” Rafeeq broke the silence.
Rahmeek and Bella looked at each other and decided to just keep the details between them for now. Rafeeq already had a hard time trusting Hampsher. Knowing that her father was at fault for the shooting would only make things harder on them both when she woke up because they couldn’t keep her on the sedatives forever.
“Just know he’s been taken care of son,” Rahmeek gripped his shoulder then pulled him up for a hug. He spoke no words as he just enjoyed the mechanics of embracing his son. They’d come so close to never having the luxury again that he didn’t want to waste it. Rahmeek had to appreciate what he had while he had it. “When you’re ready she can come off the sedatives,” Rafeeq was informed as his father stepped away. “I have some business to tend to but I’ll be back later,” he announced before heading to Bella to embrace and kiss her. Only after he’d had his feel of her did he leave the two alone.
“So what now?” Rafeeq questioned his mother after they’d been sitting in silence for longer than a few minutes.
Bella looked between the two already aware of how hard it was about to be. They’d reached a plateau that would either make or break their love. She could understand and respect her son’s hesitation in every sense while also relating to why Hampsher felt the way she did about her husband. They’d been good for one another before the shooting, however, Bella knew that night changed almost everything for them. Rafeeq got to see a glimpse into who she truly was and how she truly felt while she was able to see where his loyalty truly lied.
Bella was certain that Hampsher never expected Heavy to pick her side over his family at gunpoint, however it had to still hurt her. It was a natural reaction. Hampsher may have been trained to be a killer, but she was still human. Even when no one wanted to feel a way about certain situations they had to. The amount of people able to turn off their emotions was miniscule and even they hurt sometimes.
“Now we take her off,” Bella answered him. By the expression he gave her she knew he expected Hampsher to stay in her sleeping beauty like state until she gave birth. Bella’s motherly instincts wouldn’t allow her to even consider stealing the growth then birth of her child away from her. She could be heartless when she needed to be, however in her heart she felt now was not the time. There was also a lot between Rafeeq and the mother of his child that needed to be resolved before he could be happy. If Hampsher stayed asleep he’d never get the closure he deserved. Bella loved her son, and though it was going to hurt a little, she knew waking Hampsher would be the best choice for him in the end.
“Not yet,” Rafeeq’s voice stopped Bella’s path to Hampsher. She turned to look at him instantly feeling bad. As his mother she wanted to do whatever she could to keep him happy. Even if he didn’t see it that way now one day he would. Bella was certain about it. “I don’t even know what to say to her.”
Bella shrugged then continued over to the other bed. “Then don’t say anything.” It was the best advice she could give him for the time being. Unaware of how it felt to be Rafeeq and go through what he was made it hard for her to relate. The only thing she understood was strain on a relationship. Her long term relationship and marriage with Rahmeek was proo
f of her struggle to everlasting love. At best, she’d serve as a confidant. Having birthed her child she knew it was going to be hard for him moving forward.
There was so much about Hampsher that he wasn’t privy to. In order for any healing to begin she had to let him all the way inside of her soul. He already latched on to her heart, but to dig deeper, to know and understand the woman Hampsher had become and why, she had to grant him access. Bella worried she wouldn’t be able to. Hatred could be as deadly as a bite from a poisonous snake. It was a shock that she’d lasted as long as she had around Rahmeek. The one solid that would blossom from Hampsher’s motives being uncovered is that she would no longer have to hide. If she so desired, she could be herself.
“Wait for what?”
“For me to feel like I don’t want to kill her on sight.”
Bella chuckled sadly, “You don’t want to kill her as badly as you want to love her.” Rafeeq kept his mouth closed in fear that truths that burned him from the inside like stomach acid would spill from between his plump lips. “It’s okay baby.” Bella felt sorrowful as she watched Rafeeq’s face contort into an array of emotions that he didn’t understand.
“How do we begin to forgive?”
“We first forgive ourselves.”
“What about the people who hurt and betray us?”
Bella reached for Rafeeq’s hand to hold it against her thumping heart. “We just do by allowing ourselves to feel. I know you’ve heard that forgiveness is not for the other person, but yourself, and it’s true. Walking around with hate for another person does nothing but weigh down the spirit. Until you forgive you will be stuck. Forgiveness is freedom and you deserve that no matter which way life unfolds.”
Rafeeq bit into his inner cheek fully processing his mother’s words. For the moment he felt comfortable despising Hampsher, however, he knew how quickly it would all change when she was truly in his presence. They hadn’t consciously been in each other’s presence since he caught her pressing a gun into his father.
“Relax,” Bella advised while pressing her fingers deep into his left shoulder. Rafeeq was unaware that he was holding his emotions in his body. As his body deflated he dropped his head low with his chin resting at the top of his broad chest. “It’ll be okay.”
Refusal became natural to Rafeeq as he kept his eyes cast on the floor when his mother walked away. He knew what she was getting ready to do. The amount of time it took to been weaned off sedatives wasn’t set in stone, but Rafeeq assumed he had a small enough window of time to get his thoughts together. He needed it more than he needed for Hampsher to explain herself.
Nothing could’ve prepared him for walking into the wine cellar to find the woman he loved fully prepared to take away a piece of him. Hampsher had to have known how much Rahmeek’s death would hurt Rafeeq. In his mind she knew and didn’t care. All she wanted was her revenge. Nothing they’d built together mattered so long as she felt she avenged her mother. Her selfishness pissed Rafeeq off and made him question every single second they spent together. The migraines he experienced due to him analyzing their interactions were paralyzing at times.
Despite it, he kept it up, raking through his rolodex of precious memories with Hampsher. She never gave away her true feelings. Her ability to hide what she felt for his father only increased Rafeeq’s questioning. She was just so good at pretending. How did he know what was real and what wasn’t? His truth was that he would never know, therefore, he could never trust her. After she slipped their child through her pussy lips he was fully prepared to make her disappear. Forever.
He tuned Bella’s movements out knowing the task she was focused on. If he could slow down time to a crawl he would. Anything to keep him from having to face her. He’d only been awake for a few hours. They could’ve postponed removing Hampsher from the sedatives for another day. Just one. A solid twenty-four hours was all Rafeeq wanted to work on reigning in his rage. The only issue with that was the fact that none of it would’ve mattered because the second she awoke everything was destined to come rushing back. The way Rafeeq saw it was he was fucked either way. It was best to get it all over with.
“Okay, she should wake up soon,” Bella announced as she stepped away from the adjacent bed.
When Rafeeq didn’t respond she turned to look at him. He’d laid back on his bed, legs bent at the knees with an arm tossed over his eyes. Bella glanced down at Hampsher’s peaceful face knowing by the time she saw her again it would no longer be there. She wanted to hate her for trying to kill her husband, yet couldn’t. More than that she sympathized with Hampsher and often found herself praying for her to find some peace. She deserved it after years of brainwashing with her only goal being to right what she thought had been purposefully done in the past.
Bella hoped that Hampsher no longer allowed the present to pass her by because she knew she’d miss out on so much. Her son included. Even if they went their separate ways they both deserved to be happy. They’d worked so hard for it. Instead of running away from it, it was time for them to run full speed towards each other where it lied.
With no more words to give Bella backed away towards the door. She found Rahmeek standing in his home office with a glass of dark liquor. His eyes were focused on the vast landscape in the distance.
Without turning around, he questioned her, “Is it done?”
Sighing Bella stepped behind him to wrap her arms around his back. It felt so good to be close to him after being distanced from one another over the span of the week. The couple had never been so close, yet far away.
“Yes, she’ll be awake soon.” Bella inhaled deeply, falling in love with Rahmeek’s masculine scent as she had countless times in the past. The two always found a way to make their relationship work despite the situations they encountered that threatened to tear them apart. “What do you think will happen?”
Rahmeek chuckled after taking back the rest of his drink. Spinning around he placed the glass down on the edge of his desk while wrapping Bella up in a much needed embrace. Satisfaction pulled at the corners of his nearly permanent mug seeing how invested Bella was.
He tucked in his pointer finger to run it along the length of her nose before leaning down to kiss the tip. Bella melted into his frame like butter on warm bread. “What’s meant to be will be,” he whispered, with his lips hovering over hers. “But just in case we should change the hidden artillery because they just might kill each other because they’re too stubborn to admit they’re hurting and in love.”
Down in the basement Rafeeq gave up on trying to catch some sleep. He felt like he’d already spent more than enough time in bed. Kicking his feet off the bed he focused his eyes on Hampsher, waiting for the second she opened her eyes because he had a lot to get off his chest.
Chapter Six
Hampsher’s ears rang as she groaned lowly. Her hands lifted to her ears until the feeling subsided. Next, she attempted to open her eyes, however, they felt like they’d been forced closed by the weight of ten sandbags. Giving up, Hampsher allowed her body to melt into the firm yet comfortable cot she laid on. As her body relaxed, she instantly felt his presence. Somewhere close by was Rafeeq.
Opening her eyes became rather unnecessary because she could feel his emotions. She didn’t need to see his face to know how he felt. The anger, hatred and betrayal that plagued his heart projected itself into Hampsher. It engulfed her body like a luxury mink coat, overheating her veins until she could no longer lie in place. She had to face him. The quicker she got it over with, the sooner she’d know what came next.
Despite her role and ill feelings for his father, she still desired to know what was next. Not just for her own selfish reasons, but because she was carrying their baby. An extension of them both that would keep them connected until their deaths. Hampsher’s hand flew to her midsection when she thought of her little nugget. In the room, Hampsher’s relief could be seen as her body once again melted into the fabric surrounding her.
Surpassing the
point where dramatics were necessary, Hampsher finally opened her eyes. She gasped as a vivid scene unfolded before her eyes. It was the last few minutes before she blacked out.
Her gun pressed into Rahmeek’s chest. He was her last target. She’d saved the best for last, yet she found herself hesitating to apply the needed pressure to the trigger because of what he had to say. Rahmeek didn’t need to lie to Hampsher. She knew this, but it hurt too much to think that her father had lied to her all those years about her mother’s tragic death. There was no way he would take her though the emotional turmoil he had only to save himself from the guilt.
Then before she could even fully process it all, Rafeeq entered the room. Every bit of handsome and deadly with his gun pointed right at her head. Hampsher was unsurprised by where his loyalty lied. She knew the relationship he had with his family all along. It still didn’t prepare her for the sharp pains that gnawed at the edges of her heart. Hampsher was never one to fear fate. However, that was changing.
Merely entertaining the idea that the love she’d found without searching was gone forever sent her spiraling towards the only heartbreak she’d experienced, other than the death of her mother as a young child. Hampsher was unfamiliar with the feeling. Her heart turned on itself, painfully pumping as if it were determined to turn her body numb in order to survive without Rafeeq’s love. She could be heartless and she could be cold, but now that she’d felt the warmth and tenderness associated with love, she didn’t know if she would be able to turn back into who she was. Above all that, she also had to consider her child.
