Falling Again (A BWWM Interracial Novel)

by Tina Martin

  “Sounds like Mr. Wyatt may be home,” Stacey sings, when she hears a car door slam closed.

  “Yeah...I think that’s him.”

  A few beats later, he emerges into the kitchen with a grocery bag, placing it on the island countertop.

  “You must be Wyatt,” Stacey says, all smiles, before I can formally introduce them.

  “Yes, Wyatt McDowell,” he says, reaching to shake her hand. “And you are?”

  “Stacey Chamblee, Geneva’s friend. Nice to meet you.”

  “You as well,” he says.

  I watch Stacey blush. She looks at me and raises her eyebrows quickly a couple of times while mouthing the words, he’s hot.

  I smile at her silliness, then when I look up, I see Wyatt gazing at me. My smile quickly fades and I feel a nervous twinge jolt through me instead.

  “Um...” I say, losing all thought. “Uh…Stacey is making her homemade lasagna and I’m making a salad if you would like to join us for dinner.”

  Wyatt begins unpacking his bag, removing a bottle of V8, some celery, peanut butter, cottage cheese, a bag of cool ranch Doritos and some beef jerky. He’s completely ignoring me.

  “Wyatt?” I say, because I know he heard me, but he’s behaving as if he didn’t. Or maybe he’s trying to decide if he wants to have dinner with us ladies.

  “What time?” he asks, looking at me with a frown on his face.

  “Probably six-thirty...it’ll be done by then, right Stace?”

  “Yep,” Stacey answers. “That’ll give me time to bake some garlic bread, too.”

  He glances at his watch. “Alright,” he says then begins putting his grocery items away. When he’s done, he leaves the kitchen, probably for the family room to watch TV.

  I resume slicing tomatoes when Stacey slithers over to me and says, “Girl, you didn’t tell me Wyatt was a hottie. Oh…my…goodness!”

  “I saw you blushing. Wait ‘til I see your hubby.”

  “Whatever. Let’s get back to the hunk who just left this kitchen. You left him?”

  “Stacey, keep your voice down.”

  “I can’t. I’m trippin’ right now.” With raised eyebrows and a smirk on her face, she asks again, “You left the man who just walked out of this kitchen? Just answer that for me.”

  I sigh heavily. “Yes.”

  “Girl, I don’t care what his mama said, his grandma said, his aunt said...ain’t no way I would’ve left that man. No way.”

  “Stacey the circumstances are more complicated than that.”

  “I know but dang. Girl…”

  “Okay, go ahead and make me feel worse than I already feel. I know I messed up with Wyatt but now, I’m trying to focus on making the best out of a bad situation.”

  Stacey sighs. “Alright, girl. I’ll chill. Forgive me, though if I find this hard to believe. I…you…this…I can’t even speak right now.”

  “Just know that I’m having a hard time with this as well.”

  * * *

  At dinner, Stacey sits next to me while Wyatt sits across from us. He’s stoic, devoid of emotion and he doesn’t seem to be interested in eating dinner. I watch him rake lasagna around in his plate, take sips of water and then make an attempt to taste his dinner.

  “This is good, Stacey,” he says, glancing up at her.

  “Glad you like it,” she happily responds. “So what do you do for a living, Wyatt?”

  “I have my own landscaping business.”

  “Oh. That’s nice.”

  “Yeah. I like it. It’s honest work.”

  “Hard work too, I bet…”

  He nods. “It is, but it also lets me tap into my creative side. I actually landscaped this property.”

  “You did?” I chime in to ask.

  “Yeah. I did,” he says flippantly.

  “I thought you only cut the grass?” I ask, wishing I hadn’t once the words leave my mouth.

  He gives me a hard, penetrating stare-down and says, “I did the landscaping. I told you that.”

  “No you didn’t. You told me that you cut the grass.”

  He resumes eating and doesn’t say a word more about it.

  I release a silent sigh and stare down at my plate. Stacey’s lasagna is delicious, but I suddenly feel my appetite slipping away. Am I at fault for his obvious hatred of me? I don’t want to feel like I’ve broken him, but that’s what I feel as I sit here, fighting back emotions by drinking more water than what I want, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

  In an effort to loosen the obvious tension between me and Wyatt, Stacey says, “I like those cattails out by the pond, Wyatt. I had to ask Geneva what they were.”

  “Mr. Knight actually asked me to plant those. He told me that Geneva loved them, and I don’t even know why he felt the need to tell me that because I knew she loved those already.”

  Stacey playfully nudges me. “You didn’t tell me it was your favorite plant, girl.”

  “It’s not my favorite plant. I just so happen to like them,” I add to this ridiculous, forced conversation when all I want to do is get up from this table and go upstairs.

  Then I hear Wyatt say, “When I took Geneva to prom, instead of bringing her roses, I brought her a dozen cattails.”

  “Aw...that’s so sweet,” Stacey says, placing a hand over her heart. So dramatic...

  “Do you remember that, Geneva?” he asks.

  I take a sip of water and fight to keep a frown from my face. He’s looking at me intently, but I can’t withstand another stare-down today, so I continue eating. Finally, I nod while mumbling, “Yes. I remember.”

  “Do you recall the last song we danced to?”

  “Wyatt, we can talk about this later,” I say, because this conversation he wants to have in front of Stacey is making me uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. He doesn’t seem to mind it, though, almost like he’s doing it intentionally with the sole purpose of making me sweat.

  “Do you remember?” he probes further.

  I nod. “Yes. I remember.”

  “What was it?” he questions.

  “Mariah Carey. Thank God I Found You.”

  A small, nostalgic smile touches his lips. “You looked me in the eyes while we danced and sung that song to me. Every single word of it.”

  I crack a half smile, remembering our prom – the way our hands connected together. The way we swayed back and forth on the dance floor. It seemed like it was just the two of us on the floor, even though it was our entire graduating class there.

  “I will never forget what you wore that day...a long, black, backless gown. My hands were flat against your back and while I was holding you, I remember thinking to myself that you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

  “Wyatt—”

  “That’s why I proposed that night. I wanted to wait until we graduated, but I couldn’t because that night, I knew I had to claim you as mine. I’m sure the little ring I gave you means nothing now that you’re wearing Darnell’s ring, but it meant the world to me.”

  “Wyatt, I’m sure Stacey doesn’t want to be bored with details of our high school prom and stuff. I mean, it was a decade ago,” I say, barely looking at him.

  “So what?” he says.

  “It’s the past.”

  “And what does that mean? That what we had meant nothing because it’s the past?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying at all, Wyatt.”

  “Then if you don’t want me to talk about our high school prom for general conversation with your friend, Stacey, what would you like for me to talk about, Geneva?”

  “Talk about the weather. Talk about your company. Football. Stacey likes football, right Stacey?”

  “Yep,” Stacey answers. “Watch it with my husband all the time.”

  I watch Wyatt’s jaw tighten. He’s quiet for a moment, then out of nowhere, he explodes and says, “What do you want from me, Geneva?”

  “What?” I ask, looking up at him.
>
  “What do you want from me?” he repeats. “Because I feel like you want me to believe things that I don’t feel just because years have pushed us apart.”

  “That’s not—”

  “You want me to pretend that I don’t love you. That I haven’t thought about you every day for the last ten years. That I’m fine...that you didn’t break my heart. Well, I can’t do that, Geneva. I’ve been trying to, because I know that’s what you want, but I can’t anymore because, the truth of the matter is, I do love you. I have thought about you every single day for ten years. I’m not okay with how things ended between us and you did break my heart.”

  Tears well up in my eyes.

  Wyatt stands and says, “Thanks for cooking, Stacey.” Then he leaves the kitchen.

  Stacey turns to me and says, “Oh...my...gosh. Geneva, you have to tell him.”

  “I’m not telling him anything,” I say to her, still fighting to hold these tears in. I take a deep breath and drink a little more water.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t. Plus, I’m engaged, remember?”

  “Geneva, please tell me you’re not blind to the differences between Darnell and Wyatt.”

  “What differences? One’s black and the other is white?”

  “No. One loves you and the other one does not.”

  “Darnell does love me.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why did you automatically assume that he was the one that I was referring to as the one who didn’t love you?”

  CHAPTER 19

  After dinner, I head up to my room and Stacey goes to her room. Wyatt is in the family room watching TV and hasn’t come out of there since he ruined dinner for everyone.

  I’m sitting on my bed. I pulled an entire drawer out of my nightstand and set it on the bed, going through the contents, reminiscing. I hear a tap at the door so I get off of the bed, stand behind the door and say, “Yes?”

  “It’s me, Geneva?” I hear Stacey say.

  I open the door for her and when she walks in, I shut it back.

  “What’cha doing?” she asks.

  “Looking through some of my old things. I’m surprised my father didn’t throw this stuff out.”

  I get comfortable on the bed again and she sits opposite of me. I watch her take a small notebook out of the drawer.

  She opens it and says, “This is your diary?”

  I smile. “Yep.”

  “Okay. Let me put it down, then. I don’t want to intrude on your personal thoughts and feelings.”

  “Stacey, do I look like I’m worried? You can read it. It’s old teenage stuff.”

  She flips through it and quietly begins reading. I find my old high school yearbook, lying at the bottom of the drawer. I immediately flip to Wyatt’s picture and show it to Stacey.

  “Look at him,” she says. “He was a cutie back then, too, I see.”

  “Yep…all the girls wanted him.”

  “And he wanted you...and, according to this diary entry, you wanted him, too.”

  I glance up at her and she begins to read my words:

  May 7, 2004

  Darby Allen came to my locker today. She said that there was a very strong chance that Wyatt would be crowned prom king and since she knew she would the queen, then it was only right for Wyatt to go to prom with her than with me. Then she told me that she overheard Wyatt telling some of his teammates that he didn’t want to take me to the prom. She said, that he said, that he was my friend and that he wish I would stop following him around school like a loser. She even had the nerve to tell me that Wyatt didn’t want to take a black girl to the prom anyways and that if he did take me, it would be out of pity...because he felt sorry for me. I wish I would’ve just hit her in the mouth, but the whole day, that’s all I could think about was, what if she was telling the truth? What if Wyatt was going around telling his teammates that he really didn’t want to take me to prom?

  In Social Studies today, we had a test. Wyatt came in late after the bell, so I didn’t get a chance to say anything to him. I didn’t even look at him. Our teacher is strict during tests so I just began my test, but I could feel him looking at me. Then he threw a Big Red gum wrapper on my test paper. I looked up at him and he told me to open it. I smiled, and when I opened it, I saw a little note he’d written: r u ok?

  I nodded and continued my test, avoiding him for the remainder of the class. At lunch, I sat at our table and he looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I told him what Darby said...that he didn’t want to take a black girl to the prom. I asked him if it was true. He put his hand on mine and told me it wasn’t true and that I shouldn’t listen to anything Darby Allen had to say. Then he kissed me on the cheek, told me that he loved me. It made my day.

  ____

  “You remember writing this?” Stacey asks me.

  “Yep. I do.”

  She places my diary back inside the drawer and says, “Seems Wyatt still have deep feelings for you, girlfriend.”

  “I know. And I knew he felt some anger towards me. I told you that. But I didn’t realize that it ran so deep.”

  “Well, maybe you owe it to yourself to get to know him again. Fall in love with him again.”

  I sigh. I decide in that moment to be honest with myself and with her. So I say, “I’m already in love with him, Stacey.” I dab the corners of my eyes. “I never fell out of love with Wyatt.”

  “Wow...um, okay,” Stacey says. I can see her thinking, trying to come up with a resolution for me. “Well, you need to seriously think about telling him what his mother did.”

  “Stacey—”

  “I know. I know...you don’t think you can. That’s why I said consider it. And he needs to know how you feel, especially since he’s done put himself all the way out there to you tonight. You know how he feels about you, but he’s still up in the air, having to wonder if you feel the same way about him.”

  “All of this just doesn’t seem right, though. I’m engaged.”

  “Okay. Let me ask you this...when you’re with Darnell, do you feel the same chemistry you feel when you’re with Wyatt?”

  “No. Not at all. I feel fire between me and Wyatt. I don’t feel that with Darnell. With Darnell I feel like we’re together only because we were both single.” I dab my eyes again.

  “Girl, I think this thing with Wyatt is worth exploring. That’s all I’m sayin’.”

  “I would agree with you but I know he hates my guts.”

  “Wyatt doesn’t hate you. He misses you. And you miss him, too.”

  “I do, Stacey, but I’ve always been a loyal person. I can’t just walk out on Darnell, even though I know Darnell is questionable at this point.”

  “Questionable is right, especially since he doesn’t seem to mind that you came here. And he hasn’t even came by for a visit.”

  “Well, he’s going to be here next weekend. My father asked that his ashes be left in the pond and I’m going to do it for him. Darnell is coming for support.”

  “Girl, don’t count on it.”

  “No. He’ll be here. I know he will.”

  CHAPTER 20

  I’m in a cooking mood this morning. I’m making scrambled eggs, sausage, toasts, bagels and home fries. I guess this is my way of fixing the aura in this house even though I wasn’t the one who started an argument at dinner. Still, I feel a need to cook this morning, and I don’t mind it.

  My cell rings while I’m humming a tune and, to my surprise, it’s Darnell. I grab a towel, wipe my hands and answer, “Hello.”

  “Hey, babe.”

  “Well, good morning. This is a nice surprise.”

  “I know, Geneva. Work has been murder.”

  “I can only imagine,” I tell him.

  “I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about you. I know things are rough there, and I know you’re going through a lot with your father and all…”

  “Yeah…I’m try
ing my best to get through it.”

  “So it’s been almost been a month, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “Two more months to go and we’re millionaires.”

  I roll my eyes. “Darnell, why is everything all about the money with you?”

  “It’s not. I’m just excited for us. That’s all.”

  I force the frown away from my forehead. No one is going to ruin my good mood today, so I tell him, “I’m in the middle of cooking breakfast. I’ll talk to you later, okay. Bye.”

  I hear him say ‘bye’ before I hang up the phone. When I set my phone back onto the countertop, Stacey walks in.

  “Girl, you got it smelling good up in here first thang in the morning.” She sits at a barstool at the island.

  “I figure I’d tackle breakfast since it’s about the easiest meal to cook. Hey, you want some coffee?”

  “You know I do.”

  I smile, grab a coffee mug from the cupboard and pour her a cup. When I place the mug on the countertop in front of her, I hear Wyatt say, “Good morning.”

  “Good morning,” Stacey responds.

  Wyatt’s voice takes me by surprise. Catches me off guard. I thought for sure he’d sleep in today or leave the house to get breakfast, because I couldn’t imagine him wanting to be anywhere near me. But he’s here, sitting on a barstool next to Stacey. I continue cooking, removing sausage from the skillet.

  “Good morning, Geneva,” he says.

  I’m not sure if he’s being cordial, or if he’s speaking to me only to see if I’ll say anything back. To see if I’m upset from last night. And I could hold a grudge and not talk to him since he did embarrass me in front of Stacey, but I decide not to. So I turn around to look at him and say, “Good morning, Wyatt.”

  I notice that his hair is still wet from the shower he took this morning, and his eyes, they draw me in. If the eyes are the windows to a person’s soul, I can see everything he’s made of. I see reasons why he’s angry with me. I understand them. I caused them. I hurt him.