by Alex Miska
The Boyfriend Recipe
by Alex Miska
Copyright © 2017 by Alex Miska and V. Soffer.
Formatting and Cover Art by Bedford Book Design.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
The trademarked products mentioned in this book are the property of their respective owners, and are recognized as such.
This is a work of fiction. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes; all other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book contains sexually explicit content that is intended for mature readers over the age of 18.
Front Matter
Chapter 1: Hunter
Chapter 2: Hunter
Chapter 3: David
Chapter 4: Hunter
Chapter 5: David
Chapter 6: David
Chapter 7: Hunter
Chapter 8: David
Chapter 9: Hunter
Chapter 10: David
Chapter 11: Hunter
Epilogue: David
Thank you
Other Titles by Alex Miska
About the Author
What would you do if you humiliated yourself in front of a Naked Kitchen Adonis… and then he appeared in your bakery months later?
For the past couple of months, every day at 5:25pm on the dot, the N.K.A. showed up for his evening treat, and I hid in the back like a coward. But today I lost track of time and here was the N.K.A., standing in front of me. My boss’ brother, Julian, hip checked me and slid behind the cash register with a little wink. He started helping out at Moore Delicious a few days ago, when we suddenly had a ‘staff shortage.’ But Julian saw me avoid this guy twice before and must have picked up on my distress. I quickly set out the items David always ordered and ran into the kitchen like the knights of hell were on my tail.
“You can’t avoid him forever,” Julian said from just behind me, startling the heck out of me.
“What? Who?” I asked like a moron.
“That guy! The one you hide from every day. What’s his name again? Derek?” Until now, he’d had the grace to ignore my behavior, but not today.
“David,” I said before I could stop myself, and turned to face him. My face was incredibly hot and it was entirely possible that the tips of my ears were literally on fire. “His name is David and he always orders a caramel vanilla latte, a chocolate chunk cookie, and a banana.”
I remembered all our regulars’ and semi-regulars’ names and preferences and knew all kinds of weird things about their lives. So really, the only thing I was admitting was that I knew exactly who he was talking about.
“‘Fess up. Why do you keep hiding?”
“Does it matter?” Silly question. His arched brow told me that yes, it did matter. “Okay, fine. I humiliated myself in front of him a few months ago.”
That was an understatement.
I’d come home from an all-night study session exhausted and stressed, finals weighing heavily on my mind, to find a nearly-naked man in my kitchen. Not naked in an unsanitary way. He was definitely fresh from the shower, if the wet hair, droplets rolling down his amazingly well-defined chest and abs, and damp towel around his waist were anything to go by. Our eyes met for a moment and it had been… electric. His hazel eyes widened, perfect lips parted, and then my brain caught up to reality. I looked around and, no, I hadn’t accidentally walked into the wrong apartment. This was indeed my kitchen and there was a random, nearly naked man in it.
I stormed back into the bedroom, “Tonya! You’ve been cheating again?!”
“Wha???” She startled awake and I repeated my non-question. Her face turned dark and angry –as if she had a right to be angry in this situation– and shouted, “You’ve been going through my phone again? I can explain. It’s just chatting, I haven’t really done anything with them. Well, not much…”
I didn’t believe her; the evidence was in my fucking kitchen. Hell, she clearly didn’t believe her own words.
“I am done with this. I am done with you.” I pulled out a bag and threw random items of clothing in before proceeding to the bathroom to do the same. Later I’d realize I’d packed six pairs of socks, nine boxer-briefs, and some of her toiletries. “I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff tomorrow.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong! It’s just words and some pictures. And a Skype session. Okay, a few Skype sessions,” she admitted brazenly. “But you’re always working or studying! What else am I supposed to do when you’re never around?”
“I don’t know… read? Take up macramé? Binge some random show on Netflix?” I should have left it at that. Unfortunately, in my attempt to be witty, I added, “But I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do, and that’s the naked Adonis currently in our kitchen!”
“DAVID?!” she cried and burst into vicious laughter. “Oh God, this is too funny! No, I am definitely not sleeping with David. That’s disgusting.”
There were moments late at night, when I was sleepless and staring at the ceiling, that I vividly remembered that misstep and burned with unrelenting embarrassment.
David was her older brother.
The older brother that I said could stay on our couch until he found an apartment of his own.
To be fair, I’d never seen any pictures of David and had barely known he existed until recently. Their parents hadn’t taken his coming-out well, nor had Tonya. But then he’d ‘stopped being gay’ (as if that could happen) and had been grudgingly welcomed back into Tonya’s life and thus onto our couch.
I grabbed my bag and walked out. David stood frozen in our kitchen, having overheard everything. “Welcome to New York,” I said before slamming out of the apartment.
A few months later, he walked up to the counter and we stared at each other. I wasn’t sure which of us was more surprised. My boss stepped in for me and asked for his order and I busied myself with the next customer. I told myself it was a one-time deal; he’d never stopped here before. But he came to this bakery like clockwork ever since.
“You’ve gotta face him sooner or later,” Julian said.
“No. No, I don’t,” I told him, turning to look him in the eye so he could see just how serious I was. “I intend to be a coward for the rest of my life, thank you very much.”
“Come on. One of these days, you’ll be on your own and have no choice. Besides, Derek said he needs to ask you a question. He’s waiting at the table in the back corner,” Julian told me, pushing me back into the front. For such a willowy man, he definitely was strong. “Just talk to him. Get it out of the way. Face your fears. And a whole lot of other trite phrases that basically mean you need to get the fuck over there before I lock you two in the office together.”
I groaned, corrected him that it was David, not Derek, and walked into the front of the bakery to face my doom.
Okay, maybe ‘doom’ was being a little melodramatic, but this gorgeous man had discovered that I: 1) was a jealous moron who jumped to conclusions, 2) had no idea what my live-in girlfriend’s brother looked like, and 3) was cheated on repeatedly and wouldn’t have even known it, if items 1 and 2 weren’t true. And yes, I’d quickly discovered that my hazy memory of the man hadn’t done him justi
ce, because the room seemed to take on a sunny glow whenever he smiled.
Which he was doing now. God, those dimples. I was a sucker for dimples.
“I’m adopted,” David blurted as soon as I reached his table. “That’s why I don’t look like the rest of our family.”
“Yeah, umm… Tonya told me that,” I said lamely. It had been her way of justifying how she and her parents treated him. I rubbed the back of my neck self-consciously. “Let me introduce myself properly. I’m Hunter.” I reached out to shake his hand. He stared at it, then at me. When Tonya claimed that David had seen reason, I assumed that meant he’d broken up with his boyfriend. But maybe he really had renounced glitter and rainbows, and had sensed my attraction to him. I pulled back my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, I’m sorry. Please, will you sit down? Just for a minute? Julian said you had a break coming up.” David’s mouth quirked into a smile when he added, “He said he could man the counter for a little longer but muttered that he was already off the clock.”
That surprised a laugh out of me and I sat down across from David. “Julian doesn’t work here.”
“Oh, umm… What?” David asked.
“He’s the baker’s brother. We’re short-handed and he just kind of showed up on our doorstep,” I said, which also probably didn’t make much sense. This was such an awkward conversation, but I was curious to see where it would lead, so I admitted, “He was giving me an out.”
“We don’t have to talk. It’s okay,” David said, looking down at his cookie like a scolded puppy. God, why did he have to be nice too?
“No, we might as well get it out of the way.” I waved off his concern. He came here every day and avoiding him was getting a bit silly. “I know this place is probably near-”
“Nothing. It’s near nothing. I just came in one day because I had a business meeting, and then I saw you so…” When I clearly didn’t understand, David added, “I felt like I should apologize. I mean, at first I wanted to apologize for coming early but-”
“It happens to everyone,” Julian said, appearing at the table with a small plate of brownie-like desserts. “Logan’s experimenting with new sugar substitutes. Can you two try these out for him? He calls them dream bars. Not sure if you’re allergic, but it has hazelnuts. Anyway, Logan’s afraid that everyone’s just being nice and saying they’re good. As if I don’t spit out anything I don’t want to- Oh, who am I kidding? I totally swallow.”
Julian ‘nonchalantly’ looked over his shoulder. My boss’ friend was at the counter and, when he was caught staring, he narrowed his eyes at Julian and scowled.
“No, not allergic,” David said.
“They’re actually really good, but don’t tell my brother I said that. I need to taste test a couple more first,” Julian confided. “Do you two need anything else? Water?”
I shook my head and, as David thanked him, Julian reached out and snatched my hair tie. He wasn’t a fan of man-buns, and wasn’t afraid to be vocal about his opinions.
“I guess I have to go back there. God, I hate that guy,” he muttered before squaring his shoulders and striding to the counter as if ready for battle. He’d be okay. I couldn’t imagine there was anyone Julian Moore couldn’t handle.
“So, umm… As I was saying, I was going to apologize for, er, arriving early. To your apartment. But-”
“Considering she actually was cheating on me, it was probably one of the least harsh ways I could have found out.” I’d turned the idea over in my mind repeatedly since that day. Most of the ways I could have discovered her cheating were pretty brutal. Another text message appearing on her phone. Overhearing salacious and catty comments while talking to a friend. Walking in on her with someone who wasn’t her brother. Having her throw the information at me during another petty argument.
“Yeah, I’d apologize for her but… there really is no excuse. You’re a really nice guy and you didn’t deserve the crap she put you through. And it’s not like she considers me family anymore.” David sighed and added, “I’m gay.”
“Ugh. Again?” I asked. He flinched, and I rushed to explain. “I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t exactly a conscious decision you could make. I mean, I suppose you could join a monastery and live a celibate life, but that still wouldn’t change who you’re attracted to.”
“She isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed,” he said, and then bit into the ‘dream bar.’ His face transformed as he let out a deep-throated moan that went straight to my cock. “This is… so good…”
Well, of course, I had to try one too. I fully intended to let loose a dramatic groan of my own, but no drama was necessary. “Wow. No wonder Julian told us to lie.”
I opened my eyes and met his anxious gaze. But he quickly averted his eyes and began fiddling with his coffee cup.
“I, um… kind of have a favor to ask you,” David mumbled. “It… you don’t have to. But I thought maybe you’d find it funny or give you closure or something? No. It’s a horrible idea. Never mind.”
“Now I’m dying to know,” I said, trying to infuse my voice with merriment instead of the strange combination of fascination and dread that I’d originally had when walking over to this table. “Please, tell me. How can I help you?”
“My cousin is getting married this weekend. We grew up together and she and I are still really close, but I knew I wouldn’t be welcome because, you know… my family… But she says that she wants me there. Insists. Even threatened to delay the wedding if I didn’t show up. I mean, she won’t, but it was effective. Her groom says I can sit on his side of the aisle and I’ll be at a table with their friends and I- I need a date.”
“You need a date,” I repeated.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”
“Hold on, wait…” There had to be a reason he was telling me this. “You want me to be your date?!”
He nodded. So I began to unravel everything his proposition entailed.
“So, you’re angry at your sister for turning her back on you. And you figure most guys would find it hilarious to make a cheating ex think they were not only screwing their sibling, but ‘turning gay’ on top of that… No pun intended. Am I right so far?” I asked. He nodded sadly, not looking at me. “Okay. Now, have another bite of your dream bar, while I try to wrap my head around this. I can do all my thinking on my own and get back to you, if you’d prefer, but I tend to just talk through a problem until I find my way through it.”
His mouth was full of dessert, so he just gestured roundly as if to say, ‘go ahead.’
“So… the story could be that I’ve been seeing you regularly for just over a month now. We probably have to get to know each other better, though… We’ll have to agree to act sickeningly in love or crazily in lust or both or… well, if your family doesn’t approve, then just holding hands or maybe just showing up together would be enough of a statement. Though, knowing Tonya, she won’t believe it unless she finds us really going at it.”
Poor David began to cough, but got it under control. Maybe I should have kept part of my thought process to myself, rather than suggesting we dry-hump in front of his sister (or more… honestly, I’d been thinking more). Julian ran over with a glass of water and rubbed his back sympathetically, but he was clearly trying not to laugh. Hopefully he’d been listening in; I’d hate for the entire bakery to get too generous a helping of my mental brew.
“It’s not a bad idea. It would definitely serve her right for cheating on me and disowning you. We can even thank her for introducing us. Do you think we should make her a gift basket, or would that be over the top?”
Poor David started choking again. This time on his water.
“Hunter! Please try not to kill the customers!” Julian rubbed his back some more and said, “I am so sorry for his behavior. He’s not usually like this during the workday.”
“Sorry, maybe we should do this somewhere else,” I said. Julian was right, this
was not professional behavior and I had no filter when working through a problem aloud. Of course, I’d never had to work through a problem like this before, so that probably explained why I hadn’t thought twice before opening my big mouth.
“Oh sit back down!” Julian said. “We’re almost closed and I want to pretend not to listen in while I slowly clean all these very, very messy tables.”
David started coughing again and I took the plate away from him.
“Is this a habit I need to be aware of? Maybe we shouldn’t talk while we eat?” I handed him a napkin so he could dry his eyes.
“No, it’s not usually a habit, but maybe I should be more careful when eating and drinking around you,” he said with a wry smile. “I can’t believe Tonya actually thinks you’re boring.”
“So, am I correct in all my guesswork? Or did you just want me to introduce you to someone? Or help you buy a suit? Or…” I tried to think of other things he could possibly be asking. It would be a little unusual for him to ask to borrow my car; we barely knew each other.
“No, no. You’re right on the money. With everything. Play it down, mostly friendly in public, holding hands or little looks in semi-public, and um…”
“Going at it when we think your sister is about to come around the corner?” I said after first ensuring his mouth was nowhere near food or drink.
“Yes. It hadn’t really occurred to me but…”
“Even then, that might not be enough to convince her… but maybe if she caught us naked in bed together. Or in the shower. Or wherever. The point is nudity and erections…”
“I don’t think we need my family to see us naked. But… do you think…” he trailed off.
When he didn’t continue, I said, “Of course.” Despite being completely clueless as to what he was implying, I was pretty sure I was up for doing whatever it might be. His eyes widened and I wondered what I’d just agreed to. Well, it would probably be fun regardless, if for no other reason than because I was having a bit of a dry spell and it had been a while since I’d fooled around with a guy and David had that sexy Clark Kent look going for him.
