My Whole World

by Davidson King

  I didn’t expect the chuckle from Ledger. “Jealousy?”

  “No, worry.”

  That got a more serious reaction. “What’s going on, Atlas?”

  I explained to Ledger what Toby had told me at the diner. He didn’t seem too shocked about much, but he wasn’t thrilled when he heard we needed to wait until Thursday to see how it panned out.

  “And what if, come Thursday, Toby is about to leave and Vick…I can’t even say it.”

  “I already thought about it, hence the mood I’m in.”

  “And let me guess, you offered to go into Vick’s and what? Tear him apart?” Ledger smirked.

  “I’d do it for any of you guys!”

  “Of course you would, you’ve known us forever. Toby, not so much. So is it that you think Toby can’t handle himself or is it you kinda want to handle it for Toby?” The pointed look Ledger shot my way implied a lot.

  “I like Toby. He’s gorgeous, I won’t lie. And the thought of him…yeah, I want to fuck him but—”

  “But you care about him and don’t want to have to love ’em and leave ’em.”

  Ledger understood. I’d explained Joker to the guys, and most of them knew the effects that relationship had on me. While they never met Joker, they witnessed my fallout.

  “Your inability to care for or even love another person is because of Joker—you still cling to him. You still love him.”

  “He’s dead, Ledger!” I shouted.

  Ledger stood and leaned over my desk, face a few inches from mine. “It’s lonely loving a ghost, Atlas.”

  “Are we done here?” I gritted my teeth. Talking about my past wasn’t what this was about.

  “Yeah.” Ledger shook his head. “Maybe we should talk to Ciro about ideas for finding out what Vick has planned, if anything, with Toby.”

  “Yeah, good idea. I’ll talk to him.”

  “After closing, we’ll all sit and talk. Toby’s a good guy, and I don’t want to see anything happen to him.”

  I nodded and after Ledger left, I pressed my palms against my eyes. This day was for shit.

  After closing, the four of us sat down, and I went over everything with them. None were pleased to hear how worried Toby was over leaving Vick’s, but they were all in agreement that just showing up and threatening Vick would be dumb.

  “I know Liberio, Vick’s main guy. Head full of rocks but he’s driven by violence. He takes pleasure in causing pain,” Ciro said. “I keep my ear to the ground, I know things. He actually came in here a few times, likely checking the place out.”

  “Not surprising,” I said. I didn’t know any club owners that hadn’t had people go check out the competition.

  “What’s the likelihood something will happen to Toby on Thursday?” Max asked.

  Ciro gave an uncommitted gesture. “Depends on how okay Vick is with Toby leaving.”

  “I have a feeling he’s had issues with Vick before. Some ending not very cleanly,” I said, and they all nodded.

  “The bruise on his face.” Max voiced what we were all thinking.

  “What about if one of us picked him up Thursday night after his shift?” Max tapped the table excitedly. “Or a couple of us. No way Vick would hurt Toby with all of us there.”

  “And what if he does it like midshift?” Ledger was a thinker and while I was grateful, realizing every idea was met with a brick wall was upsetting.

  “I got a guy,” Ciro said. “Unassuming friend. He’s more of a hacker, but he’s like a chameleon. I can have him follow Toby around. Keep an eye on him until we know it’s all good.”

  “You sure Vick won’t figure it out?” I had to ask, knowing Vick wasn’t a complete idiot.

  “Don’t you worry.” Ciro’s confidence was reassuring, and he said he’d call him on his way home and let me know first thing in the morning.

  “Should we tell Toby?” Max asked as we all were walking to our cars.

  “I wouldn’t,” Ciro said. “If he knows, he may make it obvious. It would be best if he was kept out of the loop for now.”

  I didn’t like the secrets, but I made a silent promise to myself that after Toby was out of there I’d let him know.

  While I lived in the heart of Haven Hart, I still chose to drive the ten blocks to my apartment. Haven Hart had its good and bad parts, but monsters lurking in the shadows weren’t going to go away anytime soon.

  I lived in a gorgeous penthouse apartment that took me years to obtain. I always felt like it rested on top of the clouds, and I could look down on Haven Hart, see the bustle, feel it come alive through my veins, but the silence…I loved the silence. Whereas at Joker’s Sin the thump and pulse of the music drove me, here the silence balanced things out.

  It was late and while I was hungry, all I wanted to do was flop face-first on my bed and pass out.

  I stepped into my apartment, tossed my keys into the blue crystal bowl that was on the table by the door, kicked off my shoes, and walked toward the living room. The lights were motion sensitive by design. I didn’t like walking in and having to search for lights, but I also wasn’t going to waste electricity by keeping them on all night.

  The city sparkled as I glanced out my floor-to-ceiling windows on the way to my bedroom. Each step felt like mine, but it also ached with loneliness. None of my one-night stands ever set foot in my place. Max, Ciro, and Ledger were the only three that ever came here, and while that filled the spaces sometimes, I found myself beginning to wonder if coming home to someone would be a welcome change.

  Could I let someone in again?

  Would I even remember how to love someone like that again?

  I shook those thoughts off, got undressed, and did what I wanted to do the second I got home: face-planted on my bed and passed out.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Toby

  I tried to do everything in my power to avoid Vick on Tuesday. Shane seemed to sense that and oftentimes would pile on more work for me, so whenever Liberio or Vick came by to talk, I was so busy, they told me they’d find me later. Shane kept asking if I was okay, and I said yes but I wasn’t. I knew who the private party was, and I knew Vick would want to know.

  Telling him the senator’s son and his fiancé were having a bachelor party at Joker’s Sin would be huge. It would hopefully be enough, and he might leave Poppy alone. But on the other hand, it could possibly destroy Atlas. I hated this so fucking much.

  I thought I might be out of the woods when I saw that my shift was ending in fifteen minutes. Shane told me to go to the bathroom, hang there, and when it was time, he’d clock me out, so I just had to dart out the back door.

  I was almost to the bathroom when Liberio blocked my path.

  “Vick will see you, come now.”

  I didn’t know much about Liberio. No idea about nationality or anything. He spoke very little and hardly ever to me. I had zero time to dwell on it because he took my arm in a rather forceful grip and escorted me to Vick’s office.

  “Oh, Toby, good, I was hoping I’d see you before you left.” The narrowing of Vick’s eyes and the scowl told me he knew I was avoiding him.

  I didn’t know what compelled me to snap at him, but I did. “Well, Liberio didn’t give me much choice, seeing as he forced me here.” And I’d regret that. Vick nodded and Liberio yanked on my arm and punched me in the stomach. The force was so hard, had I eaten I would’ve thrown up. This must be what people meant when they said they saw stars. When I tried to stand up straight, Liberio tossed me onto the chair, and I tumbled over it and landed on the floor.

  “Get the fuck up!” Vick shouted. My body ached but not as badly as I thought it would; it was a little hard to breathe, but I was managing. As I sat in the chair, the bravery I felt a few seconds ago turned to dread. Vick was getting more liberal with the violence when it came to me, and all that did was make me realize I was either stuck there or I wasn’t going to get out in one piece…or at all.

  “Are you done being a sassy little shit
?” I nodded at Vick’s question, really not wanting any more hits. “Now, I know when people are avoiding me. It usually means two things. One, they don’t have what they owe me. Or they do but are greedy and don’t want to give it up. Which is it, Toby?” He held up a hand when I opened my mouth. “And before you answer, know that I’m pretty sure I know which it is.”

  I had to lie. But maybe I could make him believe me. “So, I actually don’t know which it is you think I am but, I was trying to find out who the private party was. I thought it would be on the schedule, but it just said private party. They had a managers’ meeting, but I was late because of the bus and missed the info on it.” Vick’s hands that were resting on the top of his desk, fisted. “I did ask, though. I said I missed it and since I was floor manager, I should know.”

  “Good thinking.” I took the morsel of a compliment and ran with it.

  “Except Atlas told me not to worry about it. They were taking the top floor and I’d be running things on the first. He was taking lead on the party, so I’d just have to worry about things below.” Not a total lie and maybe just enough truth to get me through this.

  “So you don’t know who? That’s what you’re saying? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”

  Releasing a sigh, I sagged against the chair. The pain from Liberio was starting to register, and I just wanted to go home. “Yes.”

  “Hmm.” Vick sat back, gaze assessing me. “Maybe not a total loss. You said Atlas was leaving the floor to you, yes?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Ciro may be the only speed bump, but I may be able to get around it.”

  I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I knew I wasn’t going to like it.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen. Make sure you let me know if Friday’s a themed day. I’ll get some guys in there. They’ll approach you, ask what’s the best drink there so you’ll know they’re my men. You’re to turn a blind eye to whatever they do. Get it?”

  Oh, this was bad. “But if they do shit that’s not allowed, and I do nothing I’ll lose my job.”

  Vick scowled, his face became red, and anger rippled over his skin. “You don’t work there, Toby, do you think that’s your life now?” He stood and rounded the desk. I moved as fast as I could to get away, but Liberio stopped me. “I’m your boss until I’ve had enough of you. If Atlas fires you, so the fuck what? You’re not gonna be there much longer anyway. Get it?” He pressed his hand against my chest, my back to Liberio’s front. “Don’t get it in your head that this is a fucking fairy tale and someone’s gonna save you. Now get the fuck out of here, and I better have good news come Thursday. When my guys get there, you will let them do what they will be there to do. Or else you, Poppy, and all your fucking dreams will die.”

  After I was dismissed, I left out the side door. There was no way I wanted to talk to Shane about this. I was actually starting to think I should keep my distance from him. I almost missed the bus but at the last minute jumped on. With my head resting on the cool glass, I shut my eyes and wished my life was a fairy tale and someone would rescue me from it.

  Poppy was asleep when I got home, thank goodness. I got myself some water and painkillers and went to the bathroom. I was exhausted and my body was throbbing, but I had to wash it all away. Liberio’s and Vick’s touches, the smell of stale beer and body odor. All of it. I turned on the shower, popped the pills, divested myself of my clothing, and stepped into the shower. The warm water felt great. I took a moment to check out the damage on my body. My arm had an obvious grip mark that would likely end up black and blue by the next morning. My stomach was pinkish where Liberio punched me, and my hip, yeah, I’d had a feeling when I hit the floor I’d end up with a bruise there too. I was going to be colorful for the next few days. I’d make sure to cover it all up and be aware that I’d be vulnerable there. I didn’t need Atlas seeing them and raging. No matter how much I wished he’d come and rescue me, I couldn’t chance it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Atlas

  I didn’t even try to hide how anxious I was for Toby to arrive to work on Wednesday. I literally paced the floor. Ledger chuckled into the microphone during sound checks, and Max asked if I wanted a shot or ten. Doors didn’t open for another hour, but I knew he’d arrive soon. I needed to see he was okay. Ciro’s friend Desi was going to begin keeping an eye on Toby the next day. He’d come into Joker’s Sin that night and get a feel for the guy and would make sure to stay with Toby on Thursday while he worked.

  “Hey, Atlas.” The sound of Toby’s voice as he walked in felt like an injection of calmness. I never wanted to hear a voice more than I did right then.

  “Oh good, you’re here.” I wanted to hug him, but I also didn’t want it to come off like I didn’t think he could’ve made it this far without me. “Are you okay?”

  Toby’s bemused expression as he walked around me to get to the coat check area to drop off his things actually made me smile. He wasn’t angry, or sad, or anything. He seemed fine.

  “I am.” He handed the coat to Tex, who was working the coat check. Toby turned, brow raised. “Were you worried about me?”

  “I think you know I was, Toby. After our lunch, what you told me.”

  He gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I know. But I made it through the day, and I’m fine. Just one more shift, right?” He quickly walked over to his little station and began reading the schedules and such.

  “Did Vick talk to you? Anything happen?” I felt like a lost puppy. I wasn’t a fan of this feeling at all.

  He placed the schedule on the podium and granted me a smile—a small one, but a smile all the same. “Of course he did. And I told you I’d tell you how Thursday went and if anything happens when I go to leave. I promised.”

  He reached over and squeezed my arm. The pressure went all the way down, and I swear it stopped at my cock.

  “Toby, after work, let me drive you home?”

  He furrowed his brow and his lips quirked adorably. “If you want to, you can drive me.”

  “Thank you.”

  The night was uneventful. People drank, laughed, danced, and there was no drama. At one point, Ciro found me and let me know Desi was at the bar, wearing a Beatles shirt, so I made my way over. He was right about Desi being unassuming. He appeared to be average. Brown hair and eyes, kind face, he was drinking a beer and talking with people, but I could tell he was watching Toby the whole time. He was very good, because I didn’t think anyone else knew that guy was there for him. Not even Toby. He made eye contact with me but other than that didn’t acknowledge I existed. Perfect.

  When the doors were closed and the place cleaned up, Toby left to make a quick call and Ciro approached.

  “I hear you’re driving Toby home?”

  “Yeah, I don’t think him taking the bus is smart.”

  Ciro nodded. “Desi’s gonna head over to Toby’s building. Here’s his number, text him when you’re leaving here so he knows to watch for you. If he doesn’t hear from you in like an hour, he’s gonna call me and I’m gonna come lookin’ for you.” Ciro wasn’t threatening me; he was promising, and I knew the big guy with training he wasn’t even allowed to talk about had my back.

  “Thanks, man.”

  With everyone gone, I sat at the bar and waited. Which wasn’t very long. Toby came strolling by, his stuff in hand and a pained smile.

  “Hey. You okay?” I asked and noticed that as he lifted his messenger bag on his shoulder he winced.

  “Huh? Oh.” His eyes widened for the briefest of seconds, but it was long enough for me to see he meant to hide the pain. “Headache.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I stood in front of him, and when I went to relieve him of the messenger bag, he stepped away and cowered slightly. Did he think I was going to hurt him?

  “Toby, I’m not going to hurt you. I was going to take the bag from you and carry it.”

  He immediately deflated, slid the bag down, wincing once more, and handed it ov
er. “Thanks.”

  “It’s not a headache, is it?” I shouldered the bag.

  “I’m really fine, Atlas, I’m tired though and I want—”

  “Show me.”

  “Atlas, I—”

  “Toby.” After placing the bag on the bar, I took Toby’s hands as slowly and as gently as I could. “Please, show me.”

  Toby wore a T-shirt with a light hoodie. Even when it got hot in there, he hadn’t taken it off. Now, I was kicking myself for not realizing it. He didn’t take his eyes off me as he unzipped the hoodie. When it slipped from his arms, he still watched me. Right there on his arm was a bruise. It wrapped around and it was clearly made by a tough grip.

  I reached out, and feather-lightly touched it with my finger. When I met his eyes, they were already on mine, as if he didn’t want to look at the marks.

  “Anywhere else?”

  He didn’t argue with me, just lifted his shirt, exposing his stomach, another bruise blooming like the one on his arm. Without me asking, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them past his hip, where yet another mark adorned his beautiful skin.

  I hoped he couldn’t see how I was feeling. It felt like there was fire in my veins; the buzzing in my ears made it hard to think past going to Vick’s and beating him within an inch of his life.

  “Atlas,” Toby’s voice was a whisper and when I lifted my gaze to his, tears ran down his cheeks. “I’m okay, I swear.”

  No. I wasn’t brushing this off. “You’re not, Toby, you’re…” I tenderly pressed my palm to his stomach. He didn’t stop me, and he sighed. “You can’t go back there.”

  His head snapped up, golden brown eyes filled with defiance, sadness, and I swear, guilt. “I have one more day.”

  “It can kill you.”

  His smile belied how I knew he was feeling. “I always loved coming here, watching you perform. When I would have to work at Vick’s, I got through it knowing I’d be rewarding myself by spending Saturday nights here. You didn’t really know I existed until Sparkles dragged me up on that stage.” He chuckled and as if my body took away my common sense, I wrapped Toby in a hug. “All I ever wanted was for you to see me and now—”