On the camera, her body language reeks of fear. Is she worried about the figure in the doorway or scared for her lover? I hate that I’m here when I need to be there.
But if I race toward them, I could distract Neri and Kai from their target. The only thing worse than letting her die would be to cause her death.
If she dies, I don’t think I can put a bullet in my head. Suicide would be too quick. After allowing her light to go out, I’ll need to suffer for eternity.
Then something shifts on the camera footage. Neri and Kai lower their weapons and move as one toward the figure. I’m so fucking sick with rage that I take a minute to realize they’re hugging the asshole. I get a glimpse of his scarred face and know I’m fucked.
Gator. In no universe can I be the boyfriend. That’s how Neri sees me, though. I put up with her fantasies for the same reason I put up with the kid, Sunny, and Kai. I need Neri, and she comes with strings attached.
And one of those strings is a killer who’s returned to the US to spill blood.
Neri alerts me that the location is clear. I’m forced to drive to the safe house where she and her daddy walk over to a dead body. I spot Kai taking Sunny and the kid inside.
I open the Yukon’s back door, but Robin refuses to climb out. Having the dog act as a distraction would be helpful. Instead, the tired, carsick shithead just closes his eyes and returns to his nap. Fucker!
Giving up, I strap a rifle on my back and march toward the angry man and his gorgeous daughter.
Gator is what I expect from his reputation. In Neri’s family videos that I only glimpsed, he seemed older, sedate, fucking soft. Standing in front of me, though, he creates an imposing figure. Sure, I could easily defeat him in battle. No doubt, his daughter would absolutely hate me if I hurt one hair on her precious daddy’s head. I’m so fucking screwed.
Gator glares at me. I stare passively back. At this rate, we’ll never speak again. I sense silence is a smart move. There is no conversation that changes the fact that I’m fucking his little girl.
“You can call him Jake,” Neri tells me, doing that thing where she ignores obvious anger or awkwardness. “Papa, this is Cobain.”
“What’s his first name?”
“Cobain,” I say.
“Never.”
“I love him,” Neri announces, choosing this very moment to snip my balls and throw salt on her father’s wounded heart.
“Never,” Jake says again.
Neri reaches over to pat my chest. “Papa was Jonas. You’re safe.”
“Uh-huh,” I mutter, wondering if he’ll shoot me in front of his daughter or wait until she turns her back.
“What’s the plan now, Papa?” Neri asks and then pats his shoulder. “Papa? Are we leaving now? Should I get Mama?” When he refuses to react, she repeats, “Papa?” Apparently, hearing this word over and over breaks through his rage shield.
“The weather prevents us from leaving tonight,” he finally says. “Scouts from a nearby compound keep making drive-bys,” he says, inhaling harshly. “We need to dispose of the bodies, hide your cars, and lock down the site before the storm arrives.”
“They’re called the Patriot Hammers,” I state, knowing we’re in their territory. “Are they suicidal enough to hit one of the Company’s safe houses?”
Jake sneers at me. “They’re ugly men who shave their bumpy heads and tattoo swastikas on their skulls, then turn around and whine that they can’t find women to join their Nazi cult. We should assume they’re stupid enough to do just about anything.”
When Neri smiles warmly at her father’s raging face, I know I’m fucked. He hates me. She adores him. There’s no way I can remain in her life with him around.
“Where do we hide the bodies?” she asks, grabbing the dead man on the ground.
“No,” I grunt, wondering why she keeps thinking she ought to be the one to drag around corpses.
Jake frowns at me for admonishing his daughter. Then he gestures for her to stand back.
“Go inside and stay with your mother and Kai’s family. Send your brother out here to help.”
Unable to keep my mouth shut, I say, “There’s a ditch in the back where bodies are dumped.”
“How do you know?” he growls as if I’m secretly a member of this safe house and took the most complicated route to return home.
“There’s always a ditch in the back.”
We study one another. I almost expect Jake to pull the pistol stashed in his hip holster. Neri hugs her father, and his rage goes a little soft. Man, she has him wrapped around her finger too.
Then she walks over and hugs me. “Hurry up so you can meet Mama,” she says and then flashes a frown at her father. “You too. Mama’s probably scared inside.”
Neri walks casually in the house, but I catch her take off running as soon as she’s a few feet inside the door. She wants Kai to play buffer now. Her father likely knows what will happen because he moves quickly.
“I asked for your help, and you fucked my daughter,” he hisses while erasing the space between us.
Standing eye-to-eye with the beast, I refuse to back up. “Yes.”
“There’s no way you’re coming back with us.”
“That’ll be up to Neri,” I say, throwing the responsibility on her. It’s the least I can do when she made me fall for her and then encouraged me to think long-term.
“Do you think I won’t kill you?” Jake demands, seeming bigger now. Middle age has been good to old Gator.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll have to let you do it.”
“Let me?” he mutters, forcing a smile before grumbling, “Let me.”
“Neri would never forgive me for killing you, and she’s the only reason I’m here. That’s why, if you need to kill me to prove something, I’ll let you do it. The question is will you break your daughter’s heart? Or are we cleaning up these bodies?”
Jake grips his gun but doesn’t pull the weapon. “I knew their trip was a mistake.”
“Did you see the kid?” I ask, leaning down to check the corpse for useable weapons. “She’s entertaining in the pool. Wouldn’t have that if they didn’t travel here.”
“Shut up,” he grumbles and storms over to the other body.
Kai joins us just in time to help with the third corpse. We drag them quickly around the side of the house. In the back—just as I assumed—there’s a covered trench where long-forgotten bodies rot. We dump the three men inside and re-cover the mass grave.
“When are we leaving?” I ask as we return to the driveway and move the SUVs into the garage.
“Those skinheads will attack when we pass through their territory,” Jake says. “There’s no way not to pass through it unless we want to backtrack and go the long way.”
“We’ll just end up in the territory of another group of fucking losers,” I reply. “Nothing but craziness for thousands of miles.”
Jake falls silent until after we’re in the garage. Meanwhile, Kai does his usual routine of seeming overly laidback so other people will lower their guards. Oh, yeah, I’ve caught on to the little shit’s tactics.
“We’ll have to drive right through their territory,” Jake says. “It’s a decent-sized road, but quiet as fuck there. Mia and I came through on our way here. There’s only one little gas stop for miles, and I noticed Aryan stickers on the front windows. If we’re attacked, we’ll find no safe havens around here.”
“Why not drive through at night when they’re at a disadvantage?” I ask when Jake again falls silent.
Kai sees something on his father’s face and speaks up. “Ani has trouble driving at night. If we go just after dawn, she’ll remain quiet.”
“Why do I care about that?” I ask him.
“Your woman will be in the car with a screaming child distracting her.”
Imagining Neri in a firefight with a wailing kid, I submit, “Fine, we’ll do your thing. Those skinheads are usually junkies or drunks. When the Feds used to
hit their locations, they always went in the morning when most of the assholes were sleeping. We should be able to sneak past them at dawn.”
“Then what?” Kai asks his father. “You wanted us at this house and said there was nowhere safe for hundreds of miles. Where do we go next?”
“There’s a small airport a few hours from here. I have someone who’ll fly us out of this fucking place.”
I sense the pilot is someone Kai knows, but Jake doesn’t use names. He’s probably hoping to ditch me along the way and wants to make tracking them more difficult.
Well, if that’s his plan, the asshole’s bound to be disappointed.
NERI
As usual. Papa doesn’t adjust to “new” well. He was ready to deal with Kai’s love and her child. On some level, he knew his angry stance would soften once he saw them. What he didn’t expect was Cobain, and he will swear that I never warned him.
I love Papa, but he lies. I’ve been sending signals for days that Cobain was important to me. Not to the group or the mission, but to me. I even sent an adorable picture of Cobain with Robin. How obvious did I need to be?
However, Papa refused to hear me because he didn’t want the truth. When he gets focused on something—like our safe return—he drowns out all unhelpful distractions.
Well, that distraction remains with Papa while I’m forced to find Kai and send him to keep the peace.
Down a long dark hallway, I find the bedroom where Kai kneels between Mama and Anika.
“Papa and Cobain need you,” I tell him.
Getting my point—or seeing the panic in my eyes—Kai quickly leaves but promises to return soon. Sunny almost follows him out of the room and stares at the doorway long after he leaves.
I can’t comfort her, though, because I’m too busy caring for my frazzled mother.
“Your hair,” Mama coos, holding me against her. “You’re so beautiful.”
I soak in my mother’s affection. We’ve only been apart for several weeks, yet I’d forgotten how small she feels in my arms. When her gaze finds mine, I’m struck with tremendous guilt.
Mama is trapped so far out of her element because Kai and I decided to visit the United States. She doesn’t do well away from home, and Papa can’t hide his tension. For a week, she’s known we were in trouble, but he probably kept the details from her. Now she’s away from home, scared, and surrounded by enemies. This kind of danger is why Mama and Papa left the United States long before I was born.
As a child, I hadn’t realized anything was wrong with my parents. They took such good care of me, and I spent most of my time away from outsiders.
Then at fifteen, I came to understand how my mother would never be normal. Something shattered in her when she was a child, and nothing healed right. No amount of love and security could fix her. She would always be fragile and innocent in ways I would outgrow.
Frightened now, Mama holds me and whispers Papa’s name. I stroke her back, searching for the words to reassure her.
“Do you like Kai’s hair?” I ask.
“Kai’s hair is blond too,” she says, holding me tighter. “Why?”
“To fool the bad guys.”
“You’re smart like your papa.”
Mama notices Anika and Sunny again. The child interests her, but she doesn’t know how to react to Kai’s woman. Sunny still stares at the door, waiting for him to return.
“I cut Anika’s hair,” I say, wiggling free of my mother’s grip and crawling to the child. “And Sunny’s too.”
Anika suddenly realizes her mother’s unhappy, and Kai isn’t around. Now wearing a pout, she’ll probably cry soon. If she does, Mama will fall apart and then Sunny. There’s no way I can deal with them crying when I’m already stressed about what Papa might do to Cobain.
Except as the only non-emotionally damaged person in the room, I have no choice but to take charge.
“Let’s get off the floor,” I say and stand. “Anika, can you show my mama videos on your tablet?”
The girl stops pouting and frowns. “Mama?”
“This is my mama,” I say, tugging my mother upright and hugging her. “This is Kai’s mama.”
Not understanding, a grinning Anika hugs her mother. “Mama.”
“Okay, how about we call my mother, Mama Mia,” I say, corralling them toward the bed, “and we call your mother, Mama.”
Though I smile at the Mama Mia reference, none of them gets it. Anika stands by the bed, unsure about my mom.
“Can you say ‘Mama Mia’?” I ask Anika.
She yells out the words and then waits to see if Sunny will react positively.
“Where’s Duck?” Sunny asks in barely more than a whisper.
The child eyes her mother, uneasy about the mood in the room.
Feeling the three of them inching closer to meltdowns, I suggest, “Mama Mia can look at Duck while Anika looks at the snow globe.”
The next few minutes are full of tension since Anika doesn’t want to give her toys to a stranger, and Mama gets overly focused on the door where Sunny stares. Normally, I could remain calm, but I feel myself losing control. I wish the three of them would take a break from their drama, so I could help Cobain.
Except they’re not normal. One day, Anika might be. She’s still young enough to forget the insane bile taught to her by the cult. Sunny might also get past much of her programming and abuse. There are times where her reactions are so normal that I can forget where she spent a large part of her life.
But my sweet mama will never be okay.
And neither will Papa, who is outside with another man incapable of shedding his past. They’re temperamental creatures that react violently when agitated.
I should be outside, keeping them from killing each other. I’m the one who can distract Papa, and Cobain cares for me while I’m not so sure he does Kai. So, why am I in this room?
Because I’m a woman, meaning I should know how to soothe other women. Yet Kai’s the one with that talent. I shouldn’t be here. I need to be with my father and lover, ensuring neither does something horrible that can’t be undone.
“It’s okay,” Sunny says, patting my hand.
I’m so startled by her touch that I pull away and frown at her. Her gaze lowers, submissive under the weight of a stronger person’s anger.
“You’re worried about Cobain,” she whispers, chin against her chest, showing weakness, so I won’t lash out.
Surprising Sunny, I hug her. “Yes, I am. He has no one to care about him.”
Sunny adjusts to the situation and hugs me like Kai taught her to do when someone’s upset. I feel Mama stroking my head, and Anika says, “hug” and gives me Duck so I’ll feel better.
“I want to go home,” I whisper. “I want to stand on the beach with the people I love.”
Mama suddenly gets up and digs through her suitcase. She returns with her case filled with a dozen little snow globes. Anika gasps with delight and pulls on Sunny’s shirt.
“Mama, look,” she whispers, using her words more and more easily.
My mother hands us each a snow globe and then shakes her own. “It makes the world prettier.”
We all shake ours and watch the snow float. Though only a minor distraction from my worried heart, it’s one I truly needed.
If my broken mother can concentrate on the small beauties in life, I hope the men outside can do the same. At the very least, my brother might act as their snow globe, distracting Papa and Cobain.
KAI
My father’s long wild hair gives him a beast-like appearance, which only worsens when the wind picks up, and he locks his dark gaze on Cobain. I know my sister wants me to run interference between the men, but so far, they’ve barely glanced at each other.
Until my father suddenly focuses a lifetime of hate on Cobain. It’s as if he’s attempting to drill a rage-hole through the back of the man’s head.
Cobain, of course, pretends to be oblivious. He does the same thing when Neri watch
es him in her lovestruck way. I know he’s very aware of my father’s every move. Two large, aggressive men can never remain blind to each other’s actions.
Putting on a show of indifference, Cobain watches Robin sniff wildly around the yard.
“Are there dogs here?” I ask my father in Spanish.
“There’s a fancy, wooden kennel on the other side of the house. Steve put the dogs away when we arrived.”
“What is the plan for the safe house? We can’t destroy it like the last one if it belongs to the Arizona Moving Company.”
“Tomorrow,” Papa says, still speaking in Spanish, “we’ll dump this one here in the pit with the others and leave for the airport.”
Cobain’s back is to us when my father mentions killing him. He turns around and says in Spanish, “You’ll need to erase the security footage before you go.”
Papa clearly didn’t expect for Cobain to understand him. He frowns at me as if I should have warned him.
“We’re not killing him, and he isn’t killing us,” I announce, annoyed with their need to play these games. “Neri’s heart matters to both of you, so stop behaving like children.”
My father doesn’t react to my words. He still watches Cobain, who turns his back again.
“I’ll move the supplies inside,” Cobain says, walking away.
Papa watches him go and then turns to me. “I don’t want him coming with us.”
“Neri loves him.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Papa says, dismissively. “She’s confused because he helped her. Your sister’s heart is fragile.”
“Wait, are you really saying that Sunny’s only with me because I saved her? Because I don’t think you truly believe Neri is so easily confused by her feelings.”
“I meant what I said.”
“Papa,” I murmur, softening my tone, “you know how many men chased Neri back home. None of them challenged her. She didn’t see in them what she sees in Cobain.”
“And what’s that?”
“You, Papa. You know that’s what I meant.”
My father shrugs and allows a hint of a smile. “Yes, but I’d like to hear it.”
Shellshock (Spent Shells, #2) Page 11
