Kilo : being the love story of Eliph' Hewlitt, book agent

by Ellis Parker Butler

  CHAPTER XII. Getting Acquainted

  Althought Eliph' Hewlitt was not making much progress in his courtshiphe was far from idle in the succeeding weeks. He had taken many ordersfor Jarby's great book in the county, before he arrived in Kilo, and asa shipment of the books arrived from New York he spent much of histime behind old Irontail making his deliveries and collecting the firstpayments, and some time in the immediate neighborhood making new sales.One of the copies he had to deliver was the one purchased by Mrs.Tarbro-Smith, but although he delivered it to her at Miss Sally's, hedid not have an opportunity to speak to Miss Sally, for she hid herselfwhen he approached the door, and did not come down stairs again until hehad left the house.

  Mrs. Tarbro-Smith received the book with a lady-like enthusiasm, andimmediately placed it upon Miss Sally's center table, where its brightred cover added a touch of cheerfulness to the room, suggestive ofthe knowledge, literature, science and art the book was guaranteed toirradiate in any family. But Miss Sally never so much as looked insideits covers. She avoided it as if the thought the book itself might seizeher and sell to her, against her will, one of its fellows. Mrs. Smithsaid openly that she wished she might see more of Eliph' Hewlitt, andthat she thought him a most remarkable book agent, particularly aftershe had heard of his selling the Missionary Society a wholesale lot ofJarby's Encyclopedia, and after glancing through the book she admittedthat it was really an excellent thing of its kind, but Miss Sally merelyremarked that she didn't like book agents, and that she hated this onemore than most, he was so slick.

  The energetic spirit of Mrs. Smith was sure to carry her into anythingthat partook of a social nature, and she had arrived in Kilo in themidst of the festival season, when out-door festivals of all varietieswere following one after another almost weekly for the benefit of thechurch, which had a properly clinging and insatiable debt. In thesefestivals she took a prominent part, for the brought her in contactwith the people of Kilo as nothing else could, and if she enjoyed theaffairs, so did Susan. Susan bloomed wonderfully. She sprang at oncefrom childhood to young womanhood, and Mrs. Smith was pleased to haveher protegee appear so well and receive so much attention, for she feltthat she had had the revision of her. She already saw in her the heroineof the novel she meant to write, with the plot beginning in Kilo andClarence, and carried to New York and, perhaps, Europe.

  The attorney and the editor were particularly nice to Susan, andattentive to Mrs. Smith at all the festivals, and it amused the NewYorker to find herself and her maid on and equal social plane. It isquite different in New York. But lady's maids in New York are not alllike Susan. Maids in New York do not spend their spare time studyingJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art, and Susan did. Even Eliph' Hewlitt could not have read the bookmore faithfully than Susan did, nor have believed in it more trustfully.Often when the editor or the attorney sought her at one of the festivalsthey would find her talking with Eliph' Hewlitt, exchanging facts out ofJarby's Encyclopedia.

  For Eliph' never missed a festival. He haunted them, standing in onespot until his eyes fell upon Miss Sally, when he would make straightfor her with his dainty little steps, and she, catching sight ofhim--for she was always on the lookout--would move away, weaving aroundand between people until he lost sight of her, when he would stand stilluntil he caught sight of her again. It was like a game. Sometimes hecaught her, but before he could have a word with her she would make anexcuse and hurry away, or turn him over to another. Usually she shieldedherself by keeping either the Colonel or Skinner beside her, if theywere present, and they usually were.

  "Land's sake!" she exclaimed to Mrs. Smith, one evening, as they werewalking home after an ice-cream festival at Doc Weaver's, "I wishsomebody would tell that Mr. Hewlitt that I don't want to buy no books.He pesters the life out of me. I can't show myself nowhere but he comesup, all loaded to begin, and if I'd give him half a chance he'd have mebuyin' a book in no time. It don't seem to make no difference where Iam. I believe he'd try to sell books at a funeral." Mrs. Smith laughed.

  "I know he would!" she said. "He is delightful! Why don't you do asI did, and buy a book, and then he will be satisfied, and leave youalone."

  "Well, I won't!" declared Miss Sally. "I ain't done nothin' all my lifebut buy books an' then fight pa to get money to pay installments on 'em,an' I won't buy no more! I declared to goodness when I bought them SirWalter Scott books that I wouldn't buy no more, an' I won't. If I buythis one off of this man, there'll be another, an' another, an' so on'til kingdom come, an' one everlasting fight with pa for money."

  "Couldn't you pay for it with the money you got for thosefire-extinguishers?" asked Mrs. Smith.

  "Pa borryed that to pay taxes with, long ago, an' that's the last I'llever see of the money," said Miss Sally. "Pa ain't the kind that paysback. He's a good getter, an' a good keeper, but he's about the poorestgiver I ever did see, if he is my own father. There ain't nothin' inthe world else that would drive me to get married but just the trouble Ihave to get money out of pa for anything. I ain't even got a black silkdress to my name, and there ain't another lady in Kilo but's got one. Iguessed when we moved to town I would have the egg money same as onthe farm, but since pa had his teeth out an' got new ones he won't eatnothin' but eggs, an' I don't get any egg money. Pa eats so many eggsI'm ashamed to tell it. I wonder he don't sprout feathers. I don'tbelieve so many eggs is good for a man. It don't seem natural. Thatencyclopedia book don't say anywhere that eatin' too many eggs makes aman close fisted, does it?"

  Mrs. Smith said she could remember nothing to that effect in the book,and for a minute they walked in silence. Suddenly she looked up andspoke.

  "Miss Sally," she exclaimed, "I know what to do! I will make you apresent of my encyclopedia. I will give it to you, and the next time yousee Mr. Hewlitt you can tell him you have a copy, and then he will leaveyou alone!"

  That was how it happened that at the next festival Miss Sally did notrun when she saw Eliph' Hewlitt approaching, but stood waiting forhim. He stepped up to her with a smile that was half pleasure and halfexcuse.

  "I don't want to buy a book," she said quickly. "I've got one. Mrs.Smith gave me the one she had. So you needn't pester me any more."

  "I didn't want to sell you a book," said Eliph' gently, "although Iam glad to learn you have one. No person, whether man, woman or child,should be without a copy of this work, including, as it does, all theknowledge of the ages and all the world's wisdom, from A to Z, condensedinto one volume, for ready reference. It is a book that should be onevery parlor table and----"

  "Well, I've got one," said Miss Sally, "so it's no use wasting talk onit. One's all I want. Another one wouldn't be no good but to clutter upthe house."

  "Just so," said Eliph'. "I don't want to sell you another. To sell thisbook is the smallest part of my trouble. It is a book that sells itself.I only need to show it, to sell it. Wherever it falls open it attractsthe attention with a gem of thought or a flower of knowledge, perhapsthe language of gems, or the language of flowers, how to cure boils, howto preserve fruit, each page offers something of value to the mind. Acopy of this book in the house is a friend in sickness or in health,a help in business and a companion in pleasure; to the agent it is asource of steady and continuous income. One copy sells another."

  "I said before that I don't want another," said Miss Sally shortly.

  "Let us talk about something else," said Eliph' Hewlitt, coughingpolitely behind his hand. "I'll be glad to, but I do not blame you forbringing up the subject of the work I am selling. I make it a rule neverto talk book out of business hours, but I am not sensitive, as some bookagents are. When Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium ofLiterature, Science and Art is mentioned I am not offended; I am notashamed of my business--I enjoy it. I could talk of the merits of thisunequaled work day and night without stopping and yet not do it fulljustice, but I don't. When my work is done I stop talking book. I might,to enliven conversation, quote from the 'Five H
undred Ennobling Thoughtsfrom the World's Greatest Authors, Including the Prose and Poetical Gemsof All Ages,' containing, as it does, the best thoughts of the greatestminds, suitable for polite and refined conversation, sixty-two solidpages of the, with vingetty portraits of the authors, and a shortbiographical sketch of each, including date and place of birth, date andplace of death, if dead, et cetery. Or I might, to brighten a passingmoment, propound one or more of the 'Six Hundred Perplexing Puzzles,'page 987, including charades, conundrums, quaint mathematical catches,et cetery, compiled to brighten the mind and puzzle the wits, suitablefor young or old, for grave or gay. It is a book that meets every wantof every day, is neatly and durably bound, and the price is only fivedollars."

  Miss Sally turned as if to run away, but Eliph' put out his hand andtouched her arm lightly.

  "But I don't," he said. "I don't quote, and I don't propound. I put thebook aside and I forget. When my work is done I relax my mind. I enterinto the pleasures I find most congenial, such as festivals, sociables,fairs, kermesses, picnics, parties, receptions, et cetery, rules andsuggestions for conducting all of which are to be found in this book,which is recommended and esteemed by the leaders of society, both in theFour Hundred and out. Or I read a good book, a list of five hundred ofwhich may be found on page 336, 'The Reader's Guide,' giving advicein selecting fiction, history, philosophy, religious works, poetry, etcetery, the whole selected by eight of the most eminent professors ofliterature in our colleges and universities, both at home and abroad.Or I indulge in conversation, in which what better guide than is to befound on page 662, 'The Polite Conversationalist,' including gems ofwit, apt quotations, how to gain and hold the attention, how to amuse,instruct and argue, et cetery? When it is remember that all this, andmuch more, can be had for only five dollars, neatly bound in cloth,one dollar down and one dollar a month until paid, what wonder is itthat--that----"

  Suddenly one of the paper lanterns that hung from the wire above themburst into flame, and Eliph' saw on Miss Sally's face the look of fearwith which she was regarding him, fear and fascination mingled. Thesmile faded from his lips, and his gentle blue eyes became troubled.He dropped the hand that had been lightly resting on her arm, and hisdapper air of self-confidence wilted in abashment.

  "Was I--was I talking book?" he asked weakly. "I was! Pardon me, MissBriggs, pardon me, I didn't know it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

  For a moment Miss Sally studied his face, and she saw only a genuinecontrition there, and a regret so deep that she was sorry for him. Therecould be no doubt of his sincerity.

  "Well!" she exclaimed, with a breath of relief; "I do believe you didn'tknow you was! I believe that book's got so ground into you that youcan't help but talk it, like Benny Tenneker, who got so used to climbin'trees an' fallin' out of 'em that he used to climb the bedposts an' fallof of 'em in his sleep without wakin' up. Mrs. Doc Weaver's his aunt,an' when he visited her he nearly got killed fallin' out of bed when hewas tryin' to climb a bed post when there wasn't not on the bed. He'dgot so he could fall out of any high place an' light safe, but he wasn'tused to fallin' off of low ones. He was such a nice boy. All MarthaWilling's children were nice. Mebby you've met her. She lives outClarence way."

  "Willin?" said Eliph'. "Yes, I sold her a--I mean to say, I met her."

  "Well, her husband's dead, and her and her boys is runnin' the farm,"said Miss Sally, "an' doin' right well, so I guess she ain't afraid ofbook agents. She can afford to buy. I don't know as I'm afraid of 'emeither, or hate 'em as such, but I can't afford. Pa don't approve ofbooks much, an' he can't see why he should pay out money for what hedon't approve of. Books an' taxes he don't care much for. That's why Iwas so scared of you."

  "I didn't want to sell you a--to sell you anything," said Eliph' meekly."All I wanted was to get acquainted, to get well acquainted."

  "I guess that's all right then," said Miss Sally. "There ain't anythingmore natural than that you should wish that, bein' intendin' to makeyour home here. I hope you like the place an' make lot of acquaintances,but if I was you I'd try not to talk book any more than you have to.I don't think it'll help to make you popular, as I may say. That SirWalter man sort of gave everybody an overdose of book, an' folks feelkind of mad at book agents ever since. Like father Emmons, when he hadone of his sick spells, an' nothin' would do but he was goin' to die, sohe got up before sun-up an' drove to town to see Doc Weaver. He let Docknow he felt he was dyin' an' told him the symptoms, an' all Doc sayswas, 'All you want is salts. You stop at the drug store an' get a poundof salts, an' I'll warrant you'll be as well as ever.' So when hisdaughter--she's Mary Ann Klepper--went into the house after carryin'lunch to the men in the field, there was her poor old father settin' atthe table with the big yeller bake-bowl in front of him, an' himeatin' away at what was in it with a big spoon. 'Eatin' bread an' milk,father?' she asks, an' her pa looks up with tears in his eyes, an'swallers down another spoonful. 'No,' he says, as cross as a bear, 'I'meatin' a pound o' salts Doc Weaver told me to git, but hang if I can eatanother spoonful, an' I ain't above half done.' So I guess Kilo folkskind of gag when they think of books."

  "If I so much as mention books," said Eliph' pleadingly, "I wish you'dstop me. Don't let me. Mebby I do sort of get in the habit of it,thinking it and talking it so much. But I never meant to sell you one. Ionly wanted to get acquainted."

  Miss Sally laughed.

  "Well," she said cheerfully, "there's different ways to do it, but Iguess you an' me have got well acquainted different from what most folksdoes. Ain't you been over to the ice-cream table yet? Or was you waitin'to be primed; that's what us ladies is here for, to start folks spendin'money, like Mrs. Foster's little nephew that come up from the city tovisit her last summer. He wanted to know what everything was for thatwas on the farm or in the house, that he wasn't used to, an' when theytold him they always had to leave a dipper of water in the pail to primethe pump with so it would give water, he wanted to know if the reasonthey had the pans of milk in the spring-house was so they could primethe cows so they would give milk."

  Eliph' laughed heartily, for his heart was light. He was makingprogress; Miss Sally admitted that they were well acquainted, and now hecould proceed to the second step advised in "Courtship; How to Win theAffections; How to Hold Them When Won."