Bound by Her Passion
Page 24
Selina moves quietly and smoothly, and the red silk flows around her, brushing the floor and carpet, and hiding her legs and feet.
She stops and looks from one of us to the other as if trying to decide where to go. I drop back into the leather chair opposite Gray.
She crosses the rug and chooses a velvet chair at the end of the seating area between us. Sinking into the soft cushions, she pulls her legs up to sit cross-legged under the robe.
Selina’s sexy as fuck. I can’t quite put my finger on why I’m so drawn to her, but the way her lavender hair falls over that red silk makes it look like one is caressing the other and my palms itch, wanting to get in on the action.
“What are you guys talking about?” she asks.
“Your beauty,” Gray answers without missing a beat. “And how we both live to fulfill your every need.”
“Well, you get full marks for that tonight. Both of you.” Blushing, she looks from me to Gray, and he looks like he might pounce on top of her for another round of fucking. The look between them is so intense I feel like a Peeping Tom. I start to stand but then she turns in my direction again.
Her soft smile makes my heart leap and my dick pound. I don’t deserve attention from this tiny, perfect creature. Shit. I don’t deserve any of this.
“I feel so grateful right now,” she says. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.”
I gasp.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “Just had the same thought.”
But she said it symbolically, to show her gratitude. When I think it it’s literal and true. I do not deserve to be here. Not one bit.
After all I’ve done, the only thing I deserve is hell, and instead I’m sitting in this posh house, not eight feet from the woman I most desire and across from a generous vampire I’ve genuinely started to like.
“Thank you,” I say to Gray.
He raises his glass toward me. Then turns toward Selina. “Princess, fancy a glass of cognac?”
“Sure.”
They both rise, but she holds up a hand. “I’ll get it.” She goes through some secret back way I hadn’t noticed, and we both watch until she rounds a corner out of our eyesight.
“I mean it, man,” I say to Gray, then take another sip of the cognac. “I owe you—big-time.”
“It’s just a cot in the basement.”
“Not just that.” I look back down to the rug. “You trusted me when I had Selina. You didn’t try to kill me after I let her go. You invited me to stay here. And you didn’t kill me when you found out I’d fed your mate.”
“I’m not his mate,” Selina says as she steps back into the room carrying a glass of cognac and the bottle. “Gray keeps reminding me of that.” She holds her glass of cognac toward him before returning to her chair, this time folding her legs underneath her.
“What is…the situation, then?” I look at her as I ask this. Her answer is the only one that matters.
And she seems to be looking for it inside the cognac. She takes a sip then rests the base of the glass on her knee.
“I feel like Rock should be here for this conversation,” she says.
“He’s sleeping,” Gray says. “Humans need way too much of that shit.”
“Rock is human?” I ask.
“He’s not sure,” Selina answers. “He thinks he’s part giant and part human, but he never knew his people.”
I nod. Part giant makes some sense, even though I never knew such creatures existed.
A soft smile graces Selina’s lips as she draws a long breath. “I love Rock,” she says. “And he loves me. I don’t think he’d mind me telling you that.” Her expression is soft and contented.
She takes another sip of the cognac and her cheeks bloom with a fresh flush. “But he doesn’t feel the need for us to be exclusive.”
She turns toward Gray. “As for this one…” She turns back to me. “Gray and I are still figuring out where we stand. But there’s something between us. At least, from my side.” She looks down to her glass.
“For me too, princess,” Gray says. “There’s something there for me too.”
“And the cop?” I ask.
Selina sighs as she shrugs. “I enjoy being around Colton. He makes me feel special. He reminds me of what it felt like to be human.” She shakes her head. “But it will never work.”
“And what about our latest houseguest?” Gray leans forward and winks at me.
“Don’t answer,” I say quickly. “Please.”
Tonight has been near perfect, the best five or six hours I’ve had since the 1960s, maybe ever, and I can’t face hearing her rejection.
Her desire for me earlier in the night was a side effect of the feeding and meant nothing. Even if she’s hiding her hatred and fear right now—her utter revulsion for me—I know they’re there.
“Pike.” Uncurling her legs from beneath her, she stands and crosses the few feet that separate us, then sits on the thick arm of my leather chair, her legs dangling over one of mine. I nearly come from the contact of her calf against mine.
“Look at me,” she says.
My vertebrae are rusted gears as I force my head to turn her way. Then I look up into her eyes and nearly melt from the compassion and affection I imagine seeing there.
“I realize the truth now,” she says softly. “I know that you freed me from Xavier. I know you did what you could to protect me while I was down there.” She reaches out and puts her soft palm against my scarred cheek. “Stop shaking your head.”
I didn’t realize that I was. “You’re wrong. I didn’t do enough. I let things happen to you. Bad things. So many, and I’m sorry. So sorry.” My voice sounds like I’m choking. Thank God I’m not human, or tears would be pouring down my face.
“It’s okay, Pike.” She caresses my cheek. “I forgive you.”
I look down, unable to bear the tenderness in her eyes. I can’t quite believe that she could ever forgive me. I don’t deserve it. And it’s not enough. It will never be enough because, even in a million years, I could never begin to forgive myself.
Chapter 34
Selina
Lying on my back on the floor of Gray’s basement gym, I fight to recover. The three men I live with might care about me, they might want to keep me safe, but they sure don’t hold back when it comes to my combat training.
Tonight it was three against one, with me being the one. The fact that I survived makes me feel like I could take on Xavier and his remaining Guard if he ever dares take me again.
“Holy shit, princess.” Gray rolls over on the mat and strokes my leg. “You really gave us a run for our money tonight.”
I put my hand over his. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
“At least you guys have healing powers.” Rock steps into my view, stretching his neck toward his shoulder and wincing.
“You okay?” I reach up toward him.
He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet, and I lean into his hard, sweat-soaked body. “Better now.” Rock’s arms encircle me, and his hearts pound their rhythmic music through my body.
I lift my head off his chest to see Pike sitting against the wall, elbows on his spread knees and head in his hands. I let go of Rock.
“You okay?” I step toward Pike. He doesn’t answer and I lay my hand on his shoulder.
He jumps, startled, but then seeing me he smiles. “Me? Sure.”
“Good.” I sit down beside him and lean against the wall. “I’ve gotten so much stronger since I had your blood.”
I can’t believe he’s been living here for a week. Already it seems to me like Pike belongs with us, but he’s quiet, still sleeps in the basement and keeps his distance from Rock and Gray. Keeps his distance from me too.
Sitting next to him now, taking in the scent of him after our work out, I want his blood again. And I want so much more than his blood.
His heart is pumping quickly and it can’t still be
from the workout, and where they used to repulse me, now his scars urge me to soothe them, to stroke their intricate patterns and salve the pain they symbolize. The pain of his past. The pain he still seems to feel now.
I want to reach out to touch Pike, but fear that if I do he’ll bolt like a skittish animal.
Pike’s clearly attracted to me, and even more clearly he wants to protect me, but something strong is holding him back. It could be my other two—possibly three—boyfriends, but I sense it’s something bigger, something much more important that’s weighing on Pike’s heart.
“You’re getting very strong,” he says, and the words sound like they hurt coming out.
“And that’s at least partially thanks to you.” I smile, hoping he’ll see how much I appreciate him.
He looks away. “I should have fed you when you were a prisoner.”
“You tried, remember?”
He draws a sharp breath through his nostrils. “Not hard enough. Should have tried sooner. More often.” He shakes his head and puts it back in his hands.
I lay my hand on his thigh, but he stands and walks toward the others in the middle of the room.
Moving to join them, I’m surprised that all my aches and pains from the fighting have subsided. Just a week ago, it took nearly a half hour to recover from a rigorous training session. Now it takes less than five minutes.
Gray is still massaging his side like he’s not quite there yet, and I marvel that I could be getting as strong as Grayson. My men have made me stronger. Rock’s love, Gray’s and Pike’s blood. I want to return the favor, but Gray holds me away anytime his fangs get near my throat.
“Astrid still wants to talk to you,” Rock says to Pike.
“Nothing to tell her,” Pike says gruffly.
“So you say.” Rock shakes his head.
Pike squares his stance in front of Rock. “You think I don’t want him dead?”
I slide between the two males. “We all want Xavier to pay for what he’s done. We all want to free the vampires and blood slaves still trapped in his court. We’re all doing everything we can.”
“Again,” Gray says. “Not a court. Stop calling it that. Stop acting like he’s royalty. He is not.”
“We know,” I say. “We know.” I smile at him and the frustrated expression on his face turns to a smile.
He knows he can get obsessive about this subject, but if I have trouble not using the terms of royalty when referring to Xavier, it must be impossible not to for Pike. He was with Xavier for decades, not months.
“I for one,” Rock says, “won’t be able to sleep until I know that threat to you is gone.”
“Seems to me you sleep well enough,” Gray says to Rock.
The three of us have shared a bed most nights this week, and nothing makes me happier than waking up sandwiched between them.
“You know what I mean,” Rock says gruffly. “I want Selina to feel safe.”
Gray claps the giant’s arm. “We all do.”
But even after Xavier’s dead, there’s another threat I face. I’m reluctant to bring up Zora though. It’s not like they don’t know she exists but I’ve only discussed the connection I feel to her with Pike, and even then, I didn’t tell him everything.
No one knows how I’ve dreamed about some of her murders. How so many of the crime scenes were familiar to me, and how much I want to be with her whenever she’s near. Even when she’s not.
I haven’t seen Zora in over a week. Colton says the police can’t find her, and there’s a deep longing inside me that I fear only she can fill.
I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want them to worry and definitely don’t want them to curtail my independence. But even with those excuses, deep down I fear my reluctance to discuss my Maker is really out of some misguided loyalty to Zora.
But if I expect Gray to open up to me, or Pike and Rock to share their pain, then it’s time I set an example. Maybe they can help me better understand my feelings towards Zora.
“Listen, guys. I’ve got something I want to talk about.”
They all draw in close.
“Is it Rock’s snoring?” Gray asks. “Because that’s been bothering me too.”
I give him a gentle hip check.
“I don’t snore,” Rock says.
“If you say so, big man.” Gray rolls his eyes.
“If you have a complaint,” Rock says, “sleep in your own fucking room.”
“I’m serious,” I interject. “This is important.”
“We’re all ears, princess,” Gray says. “Shall we retire to the sitting room?”
“No, this is fine.” I drop down to sit cross-legged on the floor and the three men follow suit, although of the three, only Gray has the flexibility to fully mimic my position. Pike and Rock get comfortable as we sit in a quasi circle on the floor.
“What’s up, buttercup?” Gray asks.
“Finally,” Rock says. “A nickname besides, princess.”
“You’re one to talk, Acushla.”
I shake my head. As much as I’m worried about Pike’s long silences, at the moment that’s suiting me better than Gray and Rock’s banter.
“It’s about Zora,” I say.
“Your Maker?” Pike blurts.
“What?” Gray shouts. “You know who your Maker is? What the hell, princess? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I look into his eyes and see the subtext under his question: Why did you tell Pike?
“I’m sorry.” I turn to Rock and repeat the apology with my eyes. “I don’t know why I haven’t told you all more. My Maker’s name is Zora and she’s the killer.”
“What killer?” Rock asks.
“The killer. The vampire who’s been leaving bodies all over the city. The vampire who left me for dead, who gave me this scar.” I lift my hair and turn to make sure they’ve all seen it.
“That scar’s from your Maker?” Rock says. “I just assumed it was another gift from your stepfather.” He reaches over, takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. “Oh, Acushla.”
“How did you find out?” Gray asks. “And why does she use that symbol?” He’s grown paler than normal and his eyes show a hint of panic I don’t quite understand.
“She found me, or I found her, I’m not sure.” I look down at a seam between the rows of rubber mat flooring in Gray’s basement gym. “Remember when I asked you about psychic connections between vampires? Vivid dreams?”
Gray nods.
“Well, I’ve got some kind of strange connection to Zora. I’ve dreamed some of her murders. Maybe all of them since I escaped from Xavier and met all of you.”
“Since you drank my blood,” Gray adds, his voice full of awe.
“Maybe that is what triggered it.” I think back.
Did I have any dreams about Zora before? Maybe vague ones. Dreams I assumed were just flashbacks to the night I killed Lark. Guilt dreams. But maybe they were about Zora. Maybe if I’d realized sooner I could have stopped several murders.
Great. More reasons for guilt.
I draw a deep breath. “I’m not sure when my dreams started, but I didn’t begin to understand what was going on until Colton told me that the latest murder happened in a cemetery.”
“Colton knows about this?” Gray leans back.
“No. Well, yes. But no. Not really.” I swallow hard. Clearly Gray’s hurt that I haven’t discussed this with him sooner. I certainly don’t want to add that I’ve discussed some of it with Astrid.
But seriously, Gray’s one to talk. Every day it’s clearer to me that he’s hiding something, so to accuse me of that... I shake my head. I don’t want to get off track.
“That last bad dream I had, it was about the murder in the cemetery. It was so real. Like I was there. Like it was me, not Zora, killing that woman.” I close my eyes for a moment as the memory snakes through me. “And then the next day Colton told me that they’d found a body in a cemetery. All the details matched my dreams.”
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br /> “When did you tell this guy?” Rock asks, pointing to Pike.
“I didn’t. Well, not directly.”
“I saw her with Zora,” Pike says. “Selina was about to feed from Zora’s vein. I overheard enough to know that was a bad idea.”
“You were still stalking Selina?” Gray asks, his eyes narrowing.
“Fucking lucky I was there,” Pike growls.
“Let’s stay on topic,” Rock adds. “Selina, tell us everything you know.”
“There’s not much more to tell. Zora’s Maker was killed by a young woman, and she’s hated humans ever since. She chooses female victims because they remind her of the one who killed her Maker. And she carves the symbol into her victims.” I turn toward Gray. “Do you know what it means?”
He nods.
“What?” I lean toward him. “You lied before. You said you didn’t know what it was.”
He shakes his head. “It’s the symbol of an ancient order of vampires. Do you know what it means to Zora?” I’ve never seen Gray so concerned.
“She said it was on a pendant her Maker wore.”
Gray can’t hide his reaction.
“What does it mean?” I ask him.
“It means I know who her Maker was,” he says. “He was a friend of mine.”
“Andreas,” I say.
“She told you his name?” Gray looks nauseated. As far as I know, vampires never actually throw up, but he looks like he might.
“Gray—what aren’t you telling me?”
He shakes his head. “I’m just thinking about Andreas. We wondered what happened to him.”
“We?”
“Mutual friends.” He straightens his long legs, then bends one back. “Have you told Astrid about this? That you know who the murderer is?”
I shake my head. “I told her some of it. She knows about the symbol… I should have told her more about Zora, but I know she saw the surveillance video the police have.” I look down, ashamed that I’m making excuses. “When I’m around Zora, I feel like I’m part of her and…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “If she’s a murderer, and I’m part of her—”
“No, princess.” In an instant, Gray’s at my side his arm around me and the other two come closer as well. “It doesn’t work like that.”