Livia scoffed. ‘Respectable woman on the stage? There is no such thing. All actors and actresses have low and loose morals. It is the only reason why they wish to cavort in front of an audience in the first place. No, the ban on women from appearing in classical plays is a good one, and it is why my husband will make sure it stays in place.’
This was the drawback in discussing any subject over dinner in the residence on the top of the Palatine Hill: the person responsible for making the rule you’ve been criticising is likely to be sitting next to you. I needed to rescue Numeria before she said something that landed her in trouble. ‘Numeria, why don’t I tell the others—’
Numeria turned to me and said angrily, ‘No, let me speak.’
Livia agreed. ‘Yes, let her talk, this is a very enlightening subject. We needn’t all agree on everything.’
Numeria inclined her head in thanks. ‘In Greece, women are welcomed onto the stage. Throughout the Greek city states, travelling groups put on plays in local marketplaces with both men and women on show. Dramas and tragedies are acted out, just as comedies and mimes are, without any restriction.’
Agrippina took Numeria’s side. ‘The Greeks are always claiming the higher moral ground for their civilisation, so if they allow women on their stages, why can’t we too?’
Livia looked at her step-granddaughter with hard eyes, before calmly stating, ‘Because Rome has nothing left to learn from that civilisation. Our culture is now the moral guide for all societies to follow, not the city states of Greece. Their time in the sun has passed. Besides, I think you’ll find that during the festival of Dionysus, their greatest religious observance, women are still barred. It seems that even the decadent Greeks know that for the highest status of plays, the presence of women can be a distraction.’
Germanicus gave a snort of laughter. ‘Well, I wouldn’t mind some female distraction from time to time. Tell me where I find those plays with the open fornication?’
Agrippina snapped, ‘Germanicus!’
Livia smiled, as if her point had been proved. ‘You see what men are like? The prospect of female flesh on view clouds their mind from anything else. You’ll never see women in the grand theatres of Rome, and that’s an end to it.’
Thankfully, Numeria let the matter go after that, although I could tell from the firm set of her jaw that she only reluctantly let the subject drop. Numeria always held strong views on the stage, and she didn’t lightly let herself be quietened on the subject. But in Livia’s own dining room, under the same roof as Augustus, who was busy chewing figs upstairs, this was the one exception. I sneaked her a reassuring smile when she caught my eye, but I was only rewarded with a scowl in response. I guess she hadn’t liked me trying to interject halfway through her tirade. Either way, it didn’t matter. The rest of the dinner went without incident as a succession of courses were laid on for us: chicken stuffed with olives, Toronaean shark sprinkled with cumin, followed by a sweet dish of honey and sesame-seed pancakes.
Livia bid us goodnight, telling Numeria and I what a pleasure it had been meeting us both properly at last, before joining her husband in their rooms. Just before she left, she whispered quietly in my ear, ‘Please forgive him his earlier difficult mood. The burden of guiding this city can weigh heavily at times.’
I of course gave my best smile, shrugged it off as if I hadn’t noticed, and pretended that Augustus had been the most perfect host in every way. I dislike toadies in general, but when it came to this family, I knew it was best to always appear as loyal and willing as possible.
Germanicus and Agrippina led us to our borrowed litter outside the imperial palace, where the six slaves waited patiently to carry us home. Whilst Agrippina helped Numeria into the litter, Germanicus took me aside and we wandered over to the palace’s outer wall that looked over the great city. It was a clear night, the stars shining brightly in the sky, mirroring the hundreds of thousands of small lights from the oil lamps of Rome that lay unfurled before us, moonlit marble columns, buildings and arches only partially obscured by the veil of night’s darkness. There was a faint smell of frankincense, which could only have come from the temple of Jupiter, a short distance from where we were standing.
He breathed deeply the cool fragrant night air. ‘I never tire of this view, Cassius.’
I smiled. ‘I remember it well from our school days. I used to look out of the window some nights and imagine what all those people were doing. I was always amazed that lights appeared throughout the night – did they never sleep?’
Germanicus gave a short quiet laugh. ‘Not in this city. It stands still for no one.’
I agreed, hearing faintly from the streets below the clop of horse and oxen-hoof – from the carts and wagons that came in after darkness, being barred from the centre of Rome during the day. ‘It was good seeing you again, Germanicus. Thank you for the invitation.’
He nodded. ‘And you, Cassius. I know it can’t have been easy for you in Germany. But we will have our revenge. I intend to make certain of that.’
I looked over at him. ‘I can’t have any part of it, Germanicus. I made a promise to leave it behind me and I have. I can’t go back on that.’
He looked over at me. ‘Strong words. Don’t you wish to see Julius taken down? I know you were friends, but after what he did, what you witnessed?’
I looked into his dark brown eyes. ‘I hate Julius Arminius more than any man living. I wish for his death as others wish to see the smile on their children’s faces, or the first bright day of spring. An anger burns inside me that I cannot quench. But I’ll not let that man control my actions and draw me away from those that I love. I chose to follow the path of the living and not those of the deaths that I left behind.’
He put his hand on my shoulder. ‘I’d have you by my side if you requested it, you know that? Augustus’ decree be dammed. I don’t believe in bad luck tarnishing survivors. I could take you back?’
I nodded. ‘I thank you for that. But Rome’s vengeance won’t be by my hand.’
Germanicus shrugged and looked out over the vast moonlit city. ‘Then go in peace, Cassius. I won’t ask any more of you.’
I walked away then and joined Numeria in the litter. Numeria relaxed in my arms as the slaves lifted the litter and took us away from the palace of the imperator. ‘What did Germanicus want?’
I shook my head. ‘Nothing. I think he wishes to lead an army against Julius.’
Numeria held me tightly. ‘Won’t Tiberius remain in command? You said he has secured the border.’
I shrugged. ‘Yes, but his stepson is an ambitious man. What did you make of Germanicus?’
Numeria smiled. ‘They weren’t what I was expecting. He’s a bit full of himself, and he has the same ingrained arrogance so typical of people in his position. But he’s intelligent and quite charming with it. Agrippina seems subservient to her grandfather and family, but there is a strong will underneath it. One day I suspect she’ll rival Livia in determination.’
I breathed a long sigh. ‘The gods protect us from that – one of them is bad enough. Livia is dangerous, Numeria. You understand that, don’t you?’
She slipped her hand under my toga and rubbed my chest. ‘Yes, maybe even more dangerous than her husband. I think there’s a ruthless side to her.’
I agreed. ‘That’s what worries me. Something she said tonight …’
Numeria looked up at me. ‘What was it?’
I shook my head. ‘Oh, probably nothing. Let’s not worry about it now.’
I didn’t want to worry Numeria so I kept it to myself, but in truth I was thinking on what Livia had said about Julius’ brother Flavus. She said she’d find a solution to deal with him. That couldn’t be anything good. I knew I shouldn’t care; he was probably as corrupt and rotten as his brother, but still it bothered me. I remembered a cheeky young boy who used to play up in front of me whenever I met him. Julius used to tell me he was just showing off. I suppose I thought of him as an extension
to my own family, as that was how I viewed Julius. I clenched my teeth at that.
She stroked my chest. ‘I can tell you’re thinking about something, most likely Germany or Julius?’
I looked out of the curtains to see the dark streets of Rome sliding past, to the slow step of the slave’s carrying us. ‘Am I so easy to read?’
‘Only to me, Gaius.’ Numeria held me tightly and calmed the tightening of my muscles. ‘Don’t let your anger for that man spoil this pleasant journey.’
I took hold of myself. ‘Sorry, It never leaves me. I still get so angry when I think about him.’
She nuzzled her head in my chest. ‘Yes, I know. He hurt you a lot, and it will take a long time for that to go away.’
I thought it would never leave me, but I wanted to change the subject. I didn’t want to ruin the evening. ‘So, you think this journey pleasant? Maybe I should buy a litter and a few more slaves to carry us about? My father has become more than forthcoming with the money of late. Since my interest in starting a career in public service he has tripled my already overly generous allowance and told me to start spending it as befits a noble Roman – whatever that means.’
Numeria scoffed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Gaius. We’re too independent to be so pampered. It wouldn’t suit us. As a rare treat this is fun. Every day would soon become tiresome.’
I laughed. ‘Well, if you were so taken with the charming and intelligent Germanicus, you’ll have to think again. I would think he would expect all his mistresses to visit him via a curtained litter.’
She slapped my chest playfully. ‘Urgh, how sordid! Do you think he has many?’
I grinned. ‘I have no idea. But I wouldn’t be surprised. He is in an enviable position after all. He’s due to be consul next year. I’m sure he loves Agrippina, but there will be no shortage of others wishing to satisfy his needs.’
Numeria blew out her cheeks. ‘Well, they can have him.’ Then she kissed me on the chest. ‘Besides, I have you. I don’t need anyone else.’
We’d not discussed monogamy in our relationship yet, so this was new ground. ‘You mean that? Very few in Rome hold to such ideals nowadays.’
She sat up and looked at me in confusion. ‘Of course I mean that, Gaius. You have my heart, and I have given it to you fully and in its entirety. There will be no other lovers for me, of that I can promise.’
The earnestness of her voice surprised me. ‘Numeria, I was just kidding. I didn’t mean to suggest you’d really …’
She frowned. ‘I know you were, but you must understand that, for me, love has to be all-encompassing. I cannot share my love, just as I cannot give someone half my heart. What others do in Rome doesn’t concern me.’ She then looked me closely in the eyes, as she said softly, ‘And I will expect the same of you, Gaius. I’m sorry if that disappoints you?’
I smiled, my feelings for her making my voice thick. ‘It doesn’t disappoint me at all, Numeria. They’ll not be any others.’
Until I said it I hadn’t realised I meant it. But it was true. Maybe the scandalous life of Gaius Cassius Aprilis really was finally coming to at an end. Won’t the family and neighbours be pleased!
Chapter Eight
The slaves carrying the litter dropped us off at my home on the top of the Caelian Hill as instructed. I thanked them but received very little acknowledgement – I guessed their owner discouraged friendly interaction. They walked down the hill carrying the empty litter, leaving Numeria and me to enter our home, where we were greeted by Patrellis, who opened the door to us. I mussed with Patrellis’ hair and jokingly poked him in the belly.
He gave me a gentle slap around the head. ‘That’s enough, my lord. You know I’m not happy with how much that part of me has grown of late.’
I was in a playful mood, partly through the wine consumed at the Caesars’, but also through the relief that the evening was behind us and we needn’t face that demanding family again. We’d been brushed by the imperial gaze, but thankfully it had now passed over us and we were not worthy of further consideration.
I smiled as I passed Numeria through the atrium to our room. I told Patrellis, ‘Then you need to tell your wife to stop feeding you so much.’
He gave a short laugh as he fumbled with the locking bar over the door. ‘As if she ever listens to me.’
‘Goodnight Patrellis,’ I told him as I gently guided Numeria into the room, and more importantly my bed.
Numeria laughed lightly. ‘Patience, Gaius.’ She was in no doubt of my intentions, and she slipped off her sandals as I hurriedly did the same.
‘Night, my lord,’ said Patrellis, but by then I barely heard him, more concerned with the beauty before me. I slammed the door to our room shut and picked her up and took her in a long lingering embrace, our tongues entwining as my hands ran up and down over her shapely behind. As my excitement grew, I started pulling at her tunic to get to the bare flesh underneath.
She gave an outraged laugh. ‘Careful, Gaius, you’ll rip it! It’s the one you bought me especially.’
By this stage, I really didn’t care. ‘I’ll buy you another. Whatever colour you like.’ And I continued to fumble at its fastenings.
She gave a mischievous smile. ‘I never liked it anyway, too fussy for my liking.’
I laughed and ripped the long tunic down its front, ruining it, but revealing Numeria’s beautiful bare body underneath. I gently pushed her over to the bed, and she lay back, throwing away the last ruins of her dress. I was amazed at her shapely and firm body, still suntanned from her riding and exposure to the sun. Sun-browned skin was unfashionable in Rome, but it was such a part of Numeria that it sent waves of desire through me. I pulled off my toga and cast it carelessly aside as Numeria opened her bare legs and beckoned me to join with her.
I felt the wetness between her legs and took one of her plump breasts in my mouth as she groaned with pleasure. ‘Gaius!’ she said, breathing heavily, as I ran my hands under her. I moved my mouth back up to her lips and entered her fully, thrusting inside her as she grabbed my buttocks and pulled me further into her. I groaned in pleasure and thrust harder and harder, and she joined my voice in her own screams of desire.
The taste of her, the feel of her, the strength of my love for her, drove me further and further into her, pushing as far as I could. I let myself go completely and lost myself in her. My heart beat faster and faster as I used all my strength, all I had to give, to join with her in this one beautiful moment as she pulled and grasped me ever more tightly. Finally, as I knew I could contain myself no longer, I erupted inside her.
I was on the ground, covered in blood. Was it mine, or was it others? I could no longer tell. I sat up groggily, gladius in hand. I looked around in confusion, looking at the blood that soaked my tribune’s breastplate and the stiff leather straps that overlay my tunic. Where was I?
I stood and saw I was in a great battlefield, rows and rows of dead legionaries and centurions surrounding me, lying in jumbled heaps. No one stirred. Was I back in the Teutoburg after the battle? But no, this wasn’t the forests of Germany. There were no trees, the skyline was one I didn’t recognise. I was on a level plain, before a Roman town, with mountains in the distance. Olive groves surrounded the town, but the road leading towards the town was strewn with Roman dead. I walked through them slowly, being careful not to tread on the fallen. At first I stopped to see if any, like me, had survived, but no – none of them. None, just thousands of the dead. I looked up in despair. How many had died here?
The light was strange, a twilight that lit my way but cast no shadow. Where was I? Why was it just Roman dead I saw? Who had killed them? Had they retrieved their dead and left ours to rot where they lay? Questions, but no answers.
I looked at the town in the distance. It looked wealthy, with two aqueducts that supplied it with clean water, a large temple on a hill, and a high curtain wall surrounding it. Maybe they’d managed to hold the town? Maybe all was not lost?
As soon as the
thought came, flames lit up the town and the temple on the hill was wreathed in smoke. I heard screaming, the horrific sound of men, women, and children screaming in terror – I knew the sound well; I’d heard it before in Germany. But this time it was a Roman town; they were Roman citizens screaming.
I prayed to Minerva, goddess of wisdom, that it wasn’t what I thought was happening. I went to help them, gladius in hand, no longer caring if I stood on the dead. I just ran flat out through the dead-strewn roads to the town gates.
It took me a long time to reach the town, and by the time I arrived at the burnt and broken town gates the dreadful screaming had stopped. I didn’t think that was a good sign. I started walking through the streets, only to find the same dead as I’d found on the plain. This time it wasn’t Roman legionaries, but Roman citizens, in tunic and toga, lying strewn in their death throes, some with slit throats, others with vicious wounds to hands and arms as they’d tried in desperation to protect their bodies from sharp spears or blades. Some of the buildings were in ashes. Charred bodies lay strewn between the broken timbers of the buildings. Nothing in this place was alive. I knew it but couldn’t stop myself from searching. Blood covered the streets, the walls, and everywhere I looked. Whoever had taken this town had spared no one.
I touched the closest burnt building and found the ash cold to the touch. This hadn’t just happened.
So what were the flames I saw? The screaming I’d heard? I stepped up my search, running faster through the streets, passing rows of the dead and the burnt ashes of a broken and sacked town. Eventually I found the town’s Forum – the grand centre of every Roman settlement. In it was the horror of a jumbled heap of corpses. Men, women, children, the old and infirm, piled in throes of agony. But this time I barely noticed them – because in the centre stood one man, and I knew who it was. It was Decius.
As ever, as soon as I saw him I felt my bowels loosen with terror, but this time I refused to run. ‘Why have you brought me here, Decius?’
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