Strange Tales from Liaozhai--Volume 4

by Pu Songling

  Meng Jia . . . Shan Jian: Official Meng Jia’s hat was blown off, following a drinking session with other officials, without Meng noticing. Another official was encouraged to write an essay teasing Meng about it; when Meng read it later, he wrote a generous rather than angry response, earning him the reputation of a broadminded, tolerant individual. Like Meng, Shan Jian was a Jin dynasty (265-420) personage, an aristocrat and the governor of Xiangyang, now part of Xiangfan in Hubei province.

  Tao Yuanming: Appointed a magistrate, Tao (365-427 C.E.) left his post after only eighty days, refusing to show deference to his immediate superior, and occupied himself for the rest of his life by rusticating with music, poetry, and “the pleasures of the wine-cup” (Mayers 232).

  “‘A drunken Ruan Ji, sound asleep beside a beautiful wine-selling woman, might appear not to be in the mood for anything; the drunkard Zhang Xu, a great calligrapher, after over-indulging in wine, might slump face-first into some calligraphic ink, and write with his head, as though some immortal was moving it.

  “‘He Zhizhang drank so crazily that he rode his horse as drunkenly as if he were floating in a boat, then fell into a well, where he slept soundly. Bi Zhuo often drank to forget his duties, and though at that time wine didn’t harm men, it was no longer a good thing to do anymore.

  “‘As to the rainy evenings and snowy nights, or the moment the moon disappears in the early flowering of morning, when the wind calms and the dust settles—the new prostitutes greet the customers, the jumbled pile of shoes reflecting the presence of a multitude of such guests, perfumes dissipate, the prostitutes sing softly and the customers drink slowly, so the women play musical instruments while amusing the customers by urging them to drink more wine; suddenly someone starts to perform an exquisite ancient folk song, and the place becomes as still as if no one’s there.

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  Ruan Ji: Ruan (210-63), like Liu Ling, was one of the so-called “Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove,” a legendary group of Daoist artists and writers living in the 3rd-century C.E. who found release from worldly concerns through drinking and creative work.

  Zhang Xu: A Tang dynasty (618-907) calligrapher reputed to have used his own hair as a brush when drunk, producing work that he couldn’t replicate when sober; one of the “Eight Immortals of the Wine Cup.”

  He Zhizhang: A Tang dynasty poet also included as one of the “Eight Immortals of the Wine Cup.”

  Bi Zhuo: A Jin dynasty (1115-1234) official in the department of law.

  “‘When enjoying wine and dinner, one can take advantage of the mood with banter, making funny remarks to provoke big laughs. One can also read aloud or sing poems in joyful rhythm. Inevitably, if one is happily carefree and dead drunk, one’s spirit is also purged, and one dreams the truth. If that’s really so, then getting drunk each day should be treated as part of the Confucian ethical code rather than as something to get angry about. But there are moments when people make a racket with musical instruments, or the lyrics are dirty; when people sit together, they always make a lot of noise.

  “‘When people are drunk, they exhibit all kinds of responses: they fight when having to drink a penalty during a game, almost ready to grab for a knife; while drinking, they stretch their necks, or they furrow their brows, as if forcing down poison; they splash the cups and break them, putting out the lights. They drink green grape wine with reckless disregard, no matter how severely drunkenness is prohibited in liquor regulations. Thus, under certain conditions, it’s better not to drink.

  “‘Then there are drunkards who pour wine down their throats until there isn’t a cun of them left unfilled; then, nattering inarticulately and without cease, they’ll still belittle a host for being stingy. They’ll sit without saying anything or leaving, just drinking no matter what: heavy drinkers don’t savor the wine, they simply expect to have more of it. The more wine they guzzle, the more breathless it leaves them; they frown and stare, while their beard and hair comes loose like something wild; they bare their arms and begin leaping back and forth between a pair of stools.

  “‘There’s dirt smeared across the drunkard’s entire face, vomit staining the front of his robe; his mouth yaps incoherently, and his hair’s as disheveled as a slave’s. He appeals to the earth and shouts to the heavens, like Master Li vomiting from his liver problems; he stretches his head and foot, and like Su Xiang lies there, as when he was torn apart by oxen.

  “‘He can’t be described well, even by the most capable orator; he can’t be depicted clearly even by the most skillful painter. The drunkard would have repeatedly disobeyed his parents, while his wife with difficulty tries her feeble best to help him up. The drunkard can’t distinguish between superiors and inferiors, so he behaves irrationally, hurling abuse at his elders and betters.

  “‘Though one tries to admonish him tactfully, he just drinks himself into a stupor. This behavior is called “murder by wine,” and you can’t rescue him from it. There’s only one cure—you can keep him away from the wine. But how can you actually cut off his wine supply? You only need a wooden cudgel. Restrain his hands and feet, beat the pig, and then wait. Keep him in line by smacking his buttocks, but don’t wound his head; once you’ve used the stick on him over a hundred times, he’ll suddenly become sober.’”

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  Master Li: Noted Tang dynasty poet Li He (790-816) was repeatedly denied the opportunity to take the highest level imperial civil service examination due to a technicality, and eventually retired from his modest official post to die at home; inebriation figures into poems of his like “The Qin King Drinks Wine”: “Drunk, he orders the moon to course backward” (Yip 301).

  Su Xiang: Also known as Su Zou, a crafty politician who for a time orchestrated the interactions between the six states into which China was then divided (Mayers 205-6; Zhu 2:870n70). The oxen allusion is to the ancient execution technique of attaching oxen to the neck and four limbs, and driving them in divergent directions to dismember the victim.

  255. Pretending to Hang

  There was a certain fellow from my home county who was frivolous, and a complete rascal. It happened that while taking a stroll outside his village, he observed a young woman arrive on horseback, and so he commented to the people around him, “I can make her smile.” The group there doubted he could do it, so someone proposed a bet, with the loser having to provide a banquet.

  The frivolous fellow quickly ran in front of the woman’s horse, repeatedly shouting, “I want to die!” Then atop a nearby wall, he picked a single stalk of corn about a chi in length, untied his belt, and tied it to the stalk, then looped it around his neck, and made it appear that he was strangling.

  The young woman consequently rode on past, smiling, and everyone in the crowd was also smiling broadly. As the young woman receded into the distance, the frivolous fellow still wasn’t moving, so the crowd also started laughing. When they came closer to take a look, they found his tongue sticking out, his eyes closed, and his lack of breathing proving that he really was dead.

  Hanging oneself from a corn stalk—isn’t that genuinely strange? It’s certainly a warning to frivolous individuals.

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  Chi: A length equal to 1/3 meter.

  256. Luo Zu

  Luo Zu lived in Jimo. He didn’t have much in the way of money. His clan had promised to send one of its able-bodied adult males for mandated service guarding the northern frontier, and so Luo Zu went to fulfill the responsibility. Luo lived there for several years, during which time his son was born. While serving on garrison duty, he and his family were treated very well by the garrison official.

  When it came time for the garrison official, who was appointed as a vice-general, to move to Shaanxi, he wanted Luo to go with him. Luo consequently entrusted his wife and son to the care of a certain friend named Li, and then went on to Shaanxi. He wasn’t allowed to return for three years after this.

  When the v
ice-general wanted to send letters to the northern border, Luo volunteered to do it personally, and asked if he might take a detour on the way to see his wife and son. The vice-general consented to his request.

  Luo arrived home to find his wife and son safe and sound, and they tried their best to comfort him. However, there were some men’s shoes by his bed, which Luo found suspicious. Later on, they visited Li, and Luo expressed his gratitude to him. Li solicitously had some wine sent to them; Luo’s wife also indicated how grateful she was for Li, which made Luo feel anything but grateful to him, so the next day he told his wife, “I’m going to carry out my superior’s orders, and if I haven’t returned home by sunset, don’t wait up.” Then he went out the door, mounted his horse, and left.

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  Jimo: A county in Shandong province.

  He hid himself nearby, where he intended to wait until after the first watch before returning. When he heard his wife’s words inviting Li to lay down with her, he grew furious, and burst through the door. The two people inside were terrified, and crawling submissively on their knees before him, they begged him not to kill them.

  Luo drew out his dagger, then sheathed it again, exclaiming to Li, “Now that I finally realize you’ve been conducting yourselves like this, killing you would only defile my blade! I offer you this proposal: you will receive my wife and son, they will live with you, take your name, and act as your own family, while my horses and tools will all remain here. And I will die.” Then he left.

  When the villagers heard about it, they went to their local official. The official had Li flogged until he confessed the truth of the matter. But the matter wasn’t resolved as they’d hoped, because they still found Li an unreliable person, and although they searched far and near for Luo, he’d managed to conceal all word or trace of his whereabouts. The official suspected that Li had killed him in order to keep the affair secret, so he commanded that they be arrested; for more than a year, Li and the wife were kept in shackles, until they finally died. Then they transmitted Luo’s son via relay station to Jimo.

  Afterwards, at the Stone Casket military camp, some men were out gathering firewood in the mountains when they spotted a Daoist sitting in a hole in the ground, who didn’t ask them for anything to eat. The group thought this strange, since they had some food supplies with them. Then someone there recognized him as looking like Luo. They offered to fill in the hole for him, but he still wouldn’t eat anything, as though he was upset by all the hubbub, so they figured that their presence there had to be the reason, and finally they left him alone.

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  First watch: The first of the five two-hour divisions of the night, from approximately 7:00-9:00 p.m.

  Several years went by, and outside the hole the wilderness grew into a forest. If anyone stole a peek at Luo, they’d find him seated, never moving even in the slightest. Then after a long time, they saw him come out and wander up the mountain, and by the time they moved closer, he was already far above them; when they went to look down from above at the hole in the ground, he was wearing his worldly clothing, like before. The observers thought this even more strange.

  Another several days elapsed, and when they went to where he’d been, there was nasal mucus hanging down Luo’s face as he sat there cross-legged, having passed away quite some time earlier. The locals had a temple constructed there; and every three months, they offered incense and candles in honor of the Daoist. His son went there, and the people all called out to “young Luo” that they knew he’d return to collect their incense offerings; his descendants still journey there each year, to accept offerings of money.

  Liu Zongyu, from near the Yi River, told me all this in great detail. I laughed and replied, “In our times, those who are almsgivers don’t wish to work to become sages, they just want to live forever. Please pass the word around: if you want to become enlightened immediately, you must lay aside your dagger.”

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  Nasal mucus: Literally a “jade pillar” in Pu’s words, the discharge was associated in Buddhist culture with monks whose mortal deaths signified their transition into immortality (Zhu 2:874-5n15).

  Yi River: Located in southeast Shandong province.

  257. Liu Xing

  In town there was a man named Liu Xing, who was as fierce and brutal as a tiger. After he left Zichuan to make his home in Yishui, he developed bad habits he couldn’t get rid of, and his fellow townspeople all said he was evil.

  He owned several mu of farmland that were next to Miao Lianlong’s farmland. Miao was diligent, so along the sides of his fields he planted many kinds of peach trees. When the trees first began to bear fruit, Miao’s son went to pick some of the peaches; Liu angrily drove him away, insisting that they belonged to him.

  This made Miao’s son cry, and he told his father all about it. Miao had just been shocked, for Liu had already been at his door, verbally abusing him, and then informing him that he was going to sue him over the matter. Miao smiled to try to appease him. Liu’s anger, however, was indissoluble, so he left, filled with indignation.

  At the time, there was a fellow townsperson named Li Cuishi, who’d opened up a pawnshop business in Yishui, and when Liu, his written complaint in hand, entered the city, the two of them happened to meet. Upon learning that they had formerly been fellow villagers, Li confidentially asked Liu, “What business are you here to transact?” Liu then explained the matter to him. With a laugh, Li replied, “Everyone knows what you are: our village recognizes that Miao is a very fair and friendly man, so his son wouldn’t dare steal or cheat. You’re trying to claim exactly the opposite!” Then he tore the complaint into pieces, and dragged Liu into his shop in order to find a way to settle the dispute amicably.

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  Zichuan . . .Yishui: Both are counties in Shandong province. Mu: An area equal to 1/6 acre.

  Li Cuishi: Born Li Yongkang, he lived in Pu Songling’s home county, Zichuan (Zhu 2:878n4).

  Liu’s fury knew no bounds, so once inside the pawnshop, he stole something to write with, composed another complaint, and then hid it inside his robe, hoping that in this way he’d be able to make his accusation for sure.

  Before long, Miao arrived, all the details of the dispute were explained, and because he was sorry for Li’s involvement and wanted to avoid further entanglement, he declared to him, “I’m a farmer, and for half a lifetime, I’ve never had to appear before an officer. If he’ll agree to drop his suit, I wouldn’t demand all of the peach trees back for myself.”

  Li then called for Liu to come out, and he explained the reasons why Liu should withdraw his intention to sue Miao. Liu then gesticulated excitedly, endlessly cursing; Miao maintained his gentle demeanor and humble words, not attempting to dispute even a little.

  It took four or five days for Liu finally to cease his angry fit, and when Li later on saw some of his fellow townspeople, they informed him that Liu had died, which made him sigh wistfully at the news.

  Some days later, he saw a man walking with the aid of a cane, and when he arrived, it proved to be Liu. Li waved him over, and politely greeted him, inviting Liu to join him. Li hesitated then before asking him, “A few days ago, I was surprised to hear that you had died—how absurd is that?”

  Liu didn’t reply, instead pulling Li into the village with him, and when they arrived at Liu’s home, he set out some strong wine for them. Then he said, “A few days ago, I passed away, so it wasn’t an absurd rumor. Before that, as I was walking out, I saw two men arrive, who grabbed me and told me I had to go see the local official. I asked them why, and they said they didn’t know. I thought to myself that I’d been coming and going through the doors of that office for several decades, so I wasn’t timid about seeing the official, and besides, I had nothing to fear.

  “I complied with them and left, and upon arriving at the government office, I saw that there was an official seated
in the center of the building, wearing an angry look, who cried, ‘You’re finally here? You’re guilty of a most heinous crime, and completely unrepentant about it; you also take what belongs to someone else, seizing it like it’s your own. It’s fitting that a cruel man such as this one be placed on a griddle or in a caldron!’

  “A clerk checked the entries in a register and declared, ‘This man has performed a good deed, so it’s not appropriate for him to die.’ The official read the register and his facial expression began to relax a bit. Accordingly, he replied, ‘For the time being, then, send him off and he may go.’ A few dozen men in unison began shouting loudly at me, to chase me away.

  “‘Why was I brought here?’ I asked. ‘And why am I being sent away? I beg you to make this clear to me.’ The clerk then held the register open before me, and pointed out an entry. The records revealed this: in the thirteenth year of Chongzhen’s reign, I used three hundred coppers to rescue a man and keep him together with his wife.

  “‘If not for this,’ the clerk told me, ‘your execution would have been ordered for today, and you’d have been reincarnated as a beast.’ Severely shaken by this, I then followed two men outside. There, the two solicited bribes from me.

  “I angrily told them, ‘You don’t know that I’ve been going in and out of this office for twenty years, and that I only took bribes rather than ever giving them, so how can you then try to extort money from a tiger like me?’ The two men said nothing further.

  “They accompanied me back to my village, where they saluted me respectfully, and declared, ‘This labor didn’t even cost a cup of water.’ The two men then left, and as I entered the door I was reviving, for by that time, I’d stopped breathing for a number of days.”

  When Li heard this, he marveled at Liu’s strange experience, and inquired about the details of the benevolent deed that had saved him. It turned out that earlier, in the thirteenth year of Chongzhen’s reign, there had been a disastrous failure of the grain crops, and the people began eating each other. Liu was living at that time in Zichuan, serving as the head of police in a government office.