Ziggy Two Step - Courier Extraordinaire

by Mark Goodwin

Police Headquarters - 4:27 PM

  Captain Grant was relieved to finally get some concrete information on the case which was

  causing him the biggest headache. All these unsolved incidents were really taking a toll on

  him. He mustered what energy he had left after being on duty for the last day and a half. He

  spoke to Wung and Sung and got enough information to put out an APB to locate and

  apprehend one Thomas Edward Haliburton a.k.a. Ziggy. Suspect was believed to be riding a

  bicycle and could be carrying a courier bag marked 5 Minute Courier.

  Ziggy was just about to deliver his last letter to the City Tax Office which was just across the

  street from the police station. Captain Grant had stepped out for a well needed smoke and

  some fresh air to clear his head. That’s when he spotted Ziggy parking his bike between the

  Municipal Building and City Hall. Grant ran across the street as Los Banditos came roaring

  around the corner. Grant managed to avoid colliding with Pedro Gomez, the leader of the

  pack. Pedro tossed some profanities at the Police Chief but the Chief never heard him. He got

  to the other side just as Ziggy was about to two-step it up the ten stairs to the Tax Office.

  Ziggy saw something out of his peripheral vision and turned to see what it was. That’s when

  Grant grabbed him by the arm and wrestled him to the ground. Once Ziggy was on the

  ground, he was handcuffed and hauled up to a sitting position just before he got to the stairs.

  “Okay Ziggy, the gigs up. You’re under arrest!”

  He was read his Miranda rights after which Grant hauled him back across the street and

  placed him in a holding cell. Everything in his possession was catalogued and placed in a bag

  for safekeeping. That is everything except his bicycle and his courier bag - they were tagged

  with Ziggy‘s name on them. Inside the courier bag, the police found his delivery manifests for

  the current day and the day before. Sergeant Bilco’s phone was no longer ringing off the wall

  and he was given the task of perusing the manifests.

  It didn’t take long for Bilco to realize that Ziggy was in most (if not all) of the places where

  hell had been breaking loose in town. He checked delivery times against incident times. There

  was a correlation. Captain Grant had gone home to catch up on some much needed sleep.

  Ziggy was safely contained in a holding cell and would be there at least until the next

  morning when he faced a Judge. Bilco’s shift didn’t end until midnight which gave him plenty

  of time to put a report together regarding Ziggy Two Step’s recent whereabouts.

  Jefferson Hospital - 10:00 PM

  The emergency room at Jefferson was in overdrive. Fifteen people were rushed in

  complaining of severe diarrhea, vomiting and stomach pains. Twelve of them had eaten at

  Tony’s Food Shack just hours before. Three had not eaten at the Shack but they had ordered

  take-out from there. All had eaten burgers. Doctor Stetson, the head doctor that night, made

  an emergency call to the Department of Disease Control. They in turn called the Riverton

  Police Department. Reports were quickly made by Stetson’s staff and forwarded to Sergeant

  Bilco who was in charge while his Captain slept. Another urgent call was made to Judge Henry

  Hingley who received it on his cell phone whilst dining with the town’s local Madam. Hingley

  was annoyed at the intrusion but was grateful they had not called his home. His wife always

  went to bed early and the call there would have woken her up.

  Bilco met with the Judge in his Chambers an hour later. The Judge prepared a Closure Order

  against Tony’s Food Shack and Detectives Claymore and Meech descended on Tony’s just as

  his last patrons were leaving for the night. They did not arrest Tony but they took his business

  keys away from him and secured all the doors to the Shack with steel bars and heavy

  padlocks. Tony found himself on an unexpected vacation.

  Wung Hears of Ziggy’s Arrest

  As soon as Wung knew Ziggy had been arrested he walked over to the Police Station and asked

  to see him. Permission was granted since Wung personally knew Ziggy and he was quickly

  escorted to the holding cell to see his friend. Two Step was kept isolated because, being the

  suspect of a bombing, he was considered to be dangerous but wasn’t considered dangerous to

  Wung. Besides, everyone on the police force knew that Wung was a Black Belt.

  Ziggy professed his innocence to Wung and he was believed. They had known each other even

  before Ziggy became a bicycle courier. In fact, eight of Wung’s grandchildren went to school

  with Ziggy. Two Step’s only run in with the law was the time he got caught smoking a joint

  behind a coffee shop . That was the time he had skipped his school lecture on the dangers of

  smoking.

  Wednesday, June 29th - Early Morning

  Channel 8 News had been broadcasting all night long that a suspect had been apprehended for

  the Cosmic Clock Bombing. Details were still sketchy and the suspect’s name had not been

  released. The suspect was to appear in court very soon and when the station had more info,

  they would broadcast it. The town was hysterical - hysterically relieved. There never was a

  bombing in Riverton since it became a town back in 1842. Yes, there were a couple of

  explosions. In 1905 when the coal mine blew up and again in 1927 when Sachmo’s Moonshine

  Factory did the same. Otherwise - nothing, nada, zilch.

  Captain Grant arrived in time for the staff coffee meeting. Sam J. Irving, the Prosecuter, was there as well. Grant and Irving had meticulously gone over the report Bilco

  had made and they were confident that they had a solid case against Ziggy Two Step. Sure, it

  was mostly circumstantial, but Ziggy’s manifests clearly showed him “on location in each of

  the trouble spots that had occurred over the last two days”. It was hard for anybody in the

  police station to believe that he was not responsible for all the disasters. Oh, wait - there was

  one person who didn’t believe it. That person was Ziggy Two Step.

  It was early afternoon before the court could hear the charges against Ziggy. The most serious

  charge was that of bombing Cosmic Clocks. He was charged with the death of one person and

  the injury of four others. Then the police charged him with the death of two persons and the

  injury of three others as a result of two accidents in Riverton on Monday. He was also deemed

  responsible for a group of drunk citizens outside Duffy’s Tavern, also on that same Monday. A

  fourth charge was laid against him for the damage to Colonel Sander’s awning and the loss of

  forty-eight live chickens. But that wasn‘t the end of the charges. No Sir-ey Bob.

  It was apparent to the police and agreed to by the Crown Prosecutor that Ziggy had carelessly

  allowed the invasion of a species detrimental to the public health - the cockroaches.

  The only things that went right for Two Step that afternoon was the fact that he was not

  charged with the mugging of Mabel Hines. The police thoroughly searched Ziggy’s belongings

  but could find nothing linking him to the mugging. Lucky Ziggy.

  Judge Hingley, stilled pissed over Ziggy’s intrusion into his dinner last evening with Madam

  Matilda, declined bail. Back to the cell he went.

  Riverton’s Judicial System

  The judicial system in Riverton is relatively simple and fast compared to those big cities such<
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  as Diamond, East Virginia and Black Hole, West Carolina. Heck it is even quicker than that

  cow town, Bull’s Delight over there in Idaho.

  After only thirteen days, on Tuesday July 12th, Ziggy Two Step was brought to trial.

  Appointed to defend him was the Public Defender, Hilda Rose Brackenworth. She passed her

  Bar Exam earlier in May. Though inexperienced, she had been at the head of her law class and

  she was considered to be most tenacious. Even Sam J. Irving, the Prosecuting Attorney, would

  readily admit that Hilda was no pushover.

  9 AM Courtroom #4

  “All Rise. Judge Henry Hingley presiding.”

  Judge Hingley enters the court wearing his freshly laundered judicial robe. It was the first

  time it had ever been dry-cleaned since he became a judge twenty-two years ago. But after

  all, today was a special day. That decrepit member of society, Ziggy Two Step, the person

  responsible for screwing up his dinner engagement and thereby responsible for him not

  getting his just desserts from Madam Matilda, would pay for his crimes today.

  “Be Seated!”

  And so the trial begins. The Judge reads the charges against Thomas Edward Haliburton. He

  addresses the jury of eight men and four women. He asks for Opening Arguments.

  Sam Irving was in top form and he was going to prove beyond a shadow of doubt that Ziggy

  was an intelligent and masterful criminal but did have one major flaw. He didn’t have the

  ability to escape the long hand of the law.

  Hilda Rose Brackenworth was also in top form. She told the jury that Ziggy was an

  unfortunate person who was always in the wrong place at the wrong time. She claimed that

  the prosecution only had the slimmest of circumstantial evidence but did not have enough

  real evidence to prove the charges against her client.

  During the next three hours, witnesses were called to testify against Ziggy. Hilda crossexamined

  all but one. The witness she did not bother to cross examine was Reverend Arthur

  Kingsley who claimed to have seen Ziggy running out of the Riverton Professional Centre just

  moments before an explosion rocked the building. This was the same Minister who claimed to

  have seen God swimming in Dollar Lake the year gone by. Hilda figured everyone remembered

  his vision and why bother to waste her time on somebody so unbelievable.

  Everyone was tiring so a recess was called. Channel 8 broadcasted to their TV audience giving

  a general description of the judicial process occurring in Courtroom #4. Residents of Riverton

  were all glued to their televisions.

  More witnesses again in the afternoon. The Crown had many to present. Hilda cross-examined

  them all.

  By 4 o’clock the Crown still had a long list of witnesses to call. It looks like this trial would go

  on for days given all the charges laid against Thomas Edward.

  Court was adjourned and everyone headed home, including the jury. The trial lasted until

  late Friday Morning.

  All the witnesses had given their testimony. Both Sam and Hilda were tired and both would be

  glad to hear the final verdict, whatever it might be. Closing Arguments were made and the

  jury was sequestered to a small room to the left of the courtroom in order to reach a verdict.

  There was no distention. It took the jury less than an hour to reach their decision.

  The Verdict

  Immediately after the jury came back, so did Judge Hingley who asked the foreman if a

  verdict had been reached. Truman Walsh, rose and addressed the Judge and informed him

  that they had reached a descision.

  “The Jury finds Thomas Edward Haliburton not guilty of all charges.”

  A hush went through the courtroom. Nobody could believe it. Surely, the justice system failed

  the citizens of Riverton.

  Breaking News on Channel 8. Mostly everyone was stunned. It was truly a sad day for their

  small town.

  Late Evening – Friday

  Ziggy was released immediately once the verdict was announced. He grabbed a taxi and fled

  home even before the on-the-spot reporter from the TV station could catch him. Once he

  arrived home, he went to his room, closed and locked his door to make sure not even his

  family would disturb him. All he wanted at the moment was some peace and quiet - time to

  be with the person he trusted most – himself.

  It was just after 8 PM when his mother called him to answer the phone in his room. Ziggy did

  so reluctantly. A voice on the other end asked for an interview. The lady had a beautiful voice

  with a Spanish accent. Realizing he could not avoid reporters forever, he agreed to meet for a

  short interview. That beautiful sounding voice was all he needed for encouragement.

  They agreed to meet in Central Park where Riverton’s largest oak tree stood. She wanted to

  meet him right away and how could he resist. He hurried on over and found that he had

  arrived before the reporter. There was a bench nearby so Ziggy sat down and waited. Barely

  was his butt on the bench when three members of Los Banditos came from behind some trees

  and threw a sack over Two Step. He heard somebody say that they should make sure to put

  the rope around him and tie it up tight.

  “See, I told you Pedro, that I could get him out with my sexy voice.”

  Shit! Rats! Damn! Ziggy realized he had walked into an ambush. What he didn’t know was

  what they were going to do with him.

  “Okay boys, toss him in the truck. We don’t have a whole lot of time.”

  Ziggy found himself lifted and thrown unceremoniously into the back of a truck. What kind of

  truck? What did it matter?

  A short ride later, Ziggy was again lifted off the truck. He heard a heavy door open and he

  realized he was be putting inside some kind of room. Smelled like a farm but he knew they

  hadn’t driven far enough to reach one. Still, he was sure he could smell hay.

  Pedro Gomez was pleased. Payback is a bitch!.

  “That’s what you get for not paying me for that bag of weed you got from me.”

  Pedro and his gang had put Ziggy in a cattle car on a train which would be leaving moments

  from now. It was a brilliant idea that the gang came up with following Ziggy’s acquittal. If

  they ever did get caught for their actions, they knew that Judge Hingley and the citizens of

  Riverton would look the other way.

  So there Ziggy was, wrapped and tied up in a gunny sack, laying among a pile of hay.

  Where was the train headed? Pedro didn’t know nor did he care.

  Would anybody in town really care?

  THE END