Just Like Heaven

by T L Bradford

  “Then who is she?”

  “She’s thoughtful and kind when she thinks no one is looking. She’s whip-smart and without a doubt, the wittiest person I have ever known. She’s tough on the outside, but that’s only to protect how very delicate she is inside. She’s a puzzle that no one has ever taken the time to figure out so they can see the full picture when it’s completed. She’s a challenge that only the worthiest of people get to know. And goddammit, she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

  She doesn’t even bat an eye at what I said. I take it she’s absorbing the things I’ve said about her. Then slowly, she turns her head in my direction. To make my point clear, I lean over and gently place a kiss on that heart-shaped mouth. Her lips are firm and unyielding at first; then I see the first wall come down, all from the expression in her eyes. No one has ever cared for her properly. Maybe it’s about time someone did.

  I move my hand to the side of her neck and work my way up to her hair, releasing the knot. Her hair spills like a pool from the loose bun that contains her dark tresses. I kiss her again, tenderly exploring every part of that plump mouth. I look deep into her green eyes that could be sliced from jade stones and take in the new light I see there. She parts her mouth for me, and I take full advantage. She is soft, warm, and smooth. I run my hands along the sides of her face, marveling at her flawless skin. She smells like rain and clover. Her eyes flutter closed, and I see her long, thick lashes settle upon her cheeks. How long has it been since she’s been touched?

  I push her back into the couch and feel along her body. It’s been a long while since I’ve been with a woman and I want to savor the plush feel of her curves. She begins taking shallow breaths. This makes her chest rise at a steady pace. Her breasts are small in my hands, which I mold over her body. She lightly licks her lips, and that’s all it takes for my dick to get rock-hard. I cover her petite body with my large one and take what I’ve been craving.

  She gives in willingly, yielding to my touch and arching into my body with hers. I slide her tank top off her shoulders, revealing a black lace bra. What other secrets does she have hidden? I intend to find out. I move lower down her body and push down her yoga pants. It too follows the top over the side of the couch. She is wearing matching high-cut, black lace panties.

  I put my nose close to her core and breathe in her scent. Fuck, I have missed the smell of pussy. I unhook her bra revealing two perfect rose tipped buds. I place my mouth on each morsel and suck until I hear her moaning and whining with delight. As I suck her nipples, I move my hand into those black panties and feel for her clit. I find it, and she bucks her hips into mine.

  Unable to wait any longer, I push back and draw those panties down to reveal her treasure. She is shaven with a pussy that looks like a Barbie doll, compact and neat. I waste no time and dive right in to taste that honey. Oh god, she tastes so good. I can’t stop eating her. Sarita whimpers and pants. She bites her lower lip as I continue my assault on her body. I move my focus from her tasty clit to fucking her pussy with my tongue. I go deep. She arches off the couch, rocked by her sudden orgasm. But I’m far from done with her. She has no idea what is in store for her.

  I pull my shirt off from the back by pulling it over my head, and I see her eyes widen in awe at my physique. I’ve been hitting the gym extra hard in my attempt to put Noah out of my mind. It has paid off in spades. I am ripped and in the best shape of my life. Sarita moves her hands over my body in near reverence. I then push down my low-slung track pants and boxers in a single movement and toss them to the side.

  I reach over to my side table drawer and take a string of condoms out of the pack. I take one off, ripping the package with my teeth and make haste of rolling it down my hard shaft.

  Before I go further, she asks me, “Josh, answer me this question.” I’m hardly able to complete words when all the blood in my body has moved lower.

  “What’s that?” I pant.

  “Girls or boys?” It occurs to me that I’ve never discussed my orientation with anyone other than Noah and Archer. I find most people have a hard time understanding how a person can have an honest attraction for either gender.

  To reassure her, I hover over her and stare directly into her eyes, “Girls,” then I move my head close to her ear and whisper “And boys.” This seems to satisfy her, and she brings her hands to the sides of my face and ravenously kisses me. I feel the familiar sensation arising. I will explode soon and need to be in her body. I push back and sit on my knees between her thighs. Then I pull her down deeper into the couch and line-up my cock to her entry. I slowly push in. The wet warmth that greets me is an electric shock to my system. I moan deeply, reveling in the tantalizing tightness of her body.

  I’ve missed this so much. Sarita’s core conforms to my dick. I feel everything. It’s so much sensation but going too fast. I need to slow it down, but my hips continue pumping into her. I feel myself extending, delving ever deeper inside. I can’t hold myself back. Luckily, I don’t have long to wait as Sarita goes over the edge yet again. Her juices run down my shaft, and I am done for, following her directly over that cliff.

  The couch is narrow, so I end up sprawled across Sarita gasping. It was so intense the wind was knocked out of me. I lay my damp head on her chest. She takes her hand and runs it through my hair, moving the hair back from my brow. I tilt my head up to hers, and…we both begin laughing. I mean full-on, hardcore laughing.

  “Did we really just do that?” I say.

  “Yep, and might I say you’ve made quite the comeback Mr. Hill. I thank you on behalf of all women on the planet,” she jokes.

  “I’ll take the compliment. I’m just glad everything still works like it’s supposed to. I’m a little rusty.”

  “I had a feeling.” She smiles wide.

  “What feeling?”

  “Let’s just say; you haven’t been topside in a while. Am I right?”

  “Ugh…did it show?”

  “No, not at all eager beaver.”

  “I know…I couldn’t wait. Damn, you look so good.”

  “Now, I’ll take the compliment.” She grins.

  “Next time, I promise it’ll be a lot slower.”

  “That’s quite the assumption.”

  “You don’t think I warrant a second chance?”

  “Oh, I’m counting on it, Mr. Hill.” She reaches over and grabs the back of my head, bringing my head to hers and kisses me lightly.

  We lay there for a while enjoying the pleasing afterglow, touching and kissing each other until we both fall asleep on the couch. I have no idea how this will play out after tonight, but that’s a problem for future Josh.

  Chapter 39

  Noah

  I’ve just suffered the worst weeks of my life without him. I can’t eat, sleep, or think clearly. I fucked up so badly; I don’t think I can save this.

  The first few weeks were absolute torture. I tried everything to reach out to him, but he would not respond to me. I’m getting a full dose of my own medicine in that this is what I do to him all the time. I walk away and leave him to deal with the consequences. Now it’s my turn. The only reason I still have hope is that he has not moved out of the guesthouse. At least not yet. I figure if I can keep him near me, there may be an opportunity to talk things out. One way or another, we are not through yet.

  I even thought about resorting to cheesy romantic clichés that I knew he would get a kick out of. If I still had my old boom box, I would have stood outside his window and Say Anything the hell out of that moment.

  I regret having told him about my conflicted feelings for Kai. There is no way that could have gone down right. It’s that jacked up part of me that pushes him away and pulls him in with the same hand. I never should have even brought up the possibility of ever having something with Kai, knowing it was not what I wanted. This, of course, left him feeling vulnerable and used.

  Up to this point, he’d always been accommodating of my admittedly fickl
e actions, but this was the last straw. In a way, I must admit I’m proud of him. He spoke up for himself and followed through on his actions. He’s so much stronger than I ever thought he was.

  After stalking him for a couple of weeks, I figured I better pull back. The last thing I wanted was a restraining order or some other bullshit showing up on my doorstep.

  From that point on, I take a different approach to dealing with the situation. Instead of being stubborn, I recall all the things Josh said and take them to heart. I must be honest with myself about what it is I really want. That’s the only way to move on from here.

  So, after months of being rejected by Josh, I opened up my options. I decided to see if there is any spark with Kai. I need to be honest with myself and be willing to try for real with him; my father be damned.

  Kai is no fool; he knows something has gone astray in my “friendship” with Josh. He sees we no longer talk, and I have not hung out with the gang in just as long. He asked me once if it was because of him. Was he “The Yoko” that sunk the Young Americans crew? I told him it had nothing to do with him. They were upset with me. Josh and I had a disagreement, and they sided with him. I give him no details, and he asks no further questions. Just as easy as that.

  I will admit my feelings for Kai grow stronger every time we see each other. I have yet to tell him I’m attracted to men, but I doubt that it even matters to him. We are forging a bond that extends beyond basic physical attraction. We’ve come to rely on each other. It’s a warm, happy feeling to be with him, knowing there are no expectations; just the act of being near each other is enough.

  We share common interests in everything, including music (he adores Classical as much as I do), movies, food and politics. He has become my new running partner. As a dancer, he is in top physical form. His build is not bulky from weightlifting but long, lean and sinewy from years of toning. We are both physically active and enjoy the outdoors.

  Today we are going camping for the weekend. Buckhorn Campground is about 90 minutes outside of LA in the heart of the Angeles National Forest. I pick Kai up around six o’ clock in the morning in my Jeep and we leave out of town. Kai kicks back in the passenger seat, drumming his fingers on the open window. We are listening to smooth jazz in companionable silence. When he turns to look outside, I grab quick glances at him.

  His skin tone is milk chocolate with just a light touch of cream, totally unblemished. His strong, angular profile reveals a long straight nose with deep inset eyes. His eyes are captivating. They are a light brown in contrast to his darker skin. He has a very masculine brow line with thick dark eyebrows. He has smallish, shell-like ears, which house a single diamond stud. My favorite feature is his luscious lips. They are meaty thick, plump, and always wet. He unconsciously wets his lips every time he catches me looking at him.

  Once we pull into the park and pay our fee, we set out to find our location. We lucked out and got a spot with a great view among towering redwoods. It looks like a postcard. We take our gear out of the Jeep and begin the task of setting up our tent.

  “How does a city boy like you learn to set up camp?” I ask him.

  “Summer Fun programs. All the inner-city kids can sign up for cheap and get a weekend out in the country. Where does an Entitled Asshole learn to set up camp? The Fauntleroy School of Easy Breaks?”

  “Okay, okay, that was a stupid assumption,” I admit. “For real though, I would camp out in the woods by my house all the time when I lived in Tennessee.”

  “Got it, the rich kid knows how to rough it. I can dig it.”

  “I didn’t always have money, you know. I grew up in fairly humble beginnings.”

  “Do you remember much of that time?”

  “Some of it, most of it was pretty awful. My father was more of a jailer than a husband to my mother. I was too little to do anything about it. I couldn’t wait until I got older when I would be able to get revenge for the way he treated her. To get away from the mess, I would hide out in the woods.”

  “Sorry I brought this up for you man. This was supposed to be a fun-ass day.”

  I look up at him and try something new. Flirting. “Oh, it will be a fun-ass day.” I give him a coy smile. The mood brightens considerably.

  Once we get the tents set up, we do some backpacking. The air is light and brisk for early fall. It’s great to be up above the smog and congestion of LA. Up here, it seems like you can see forever. Along the way, we talk about growing up, stupid stuff we did in school and the show of course. Eventually, the topic strays to past relationships.

  “So…did you always know you liked guys?” I ask him quietly, not sure if it’s appropriate or not to ask someone who is already out.

  “Pretty much, there’s no time I can remember not. I started noticing I was different while I was still in Elementary. I had a good friend. His name was Lane. Man, we did everything together. We’d always be over at each other’s houses. We were in cub scouts together. Friends referred to us jointly as Kane because everyone thought we would be together, anyway.

  “Then almost overnight, something changed. We had one of our usual sleepovers one night. We had so much fun in his tent out in his tiny backyard, reading scary stories, and eating tons of sugar. When we finally crashed out of our sugar high, he fell asleep. Instead of falling asleep myself, I turned over and watched him sleep. I’d seen him asleep tons of times, but this particular time it was different. I noticed things about him I’d never noticed before, like the freckles on his nose, the scar on his forehead from when we crashed our bikes out by the quarry and the way his lashes fanned out on his cheeks. I sat there for I don’t know how long admiring him. That was when I got my first boner.”

  “Oh, so here I thought this was a first love story, but instead it ended up being a first boner story. Nice,” I joke.

  He chuckles, “Yep! Popped one right there in the tent. Thank god he was asleep. After that, there was no going back. I developed a huge crush on him, but there was no way on earth I could ever let him find out. Fast forward to middle school. We’re still tight, but of course, he has no idea about me. By now, I know I’m gay; there was no denying it. Over time we hung out less and less. It didn’t help that I was taking dance. If you’re not doing a sport, then, of course, there’s gotta be something wrong with you. I started getting teased and called a homo, and of course, he became a homo by association. Eventually, he stopped talking to me altogether.

  “By high school, I wasn’t out, but you know kids have a way of uncovering the misfits. Lane was big into sports, and I guess he needed to prove himself to his jock buds. He was the first person to kick my ass for being gay.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Nope, and he continued to bully me all the way through high school.”

  “Did you have any support from friends or family?”

  “I told my mom I was gay when I was 15. She was fully supportive, as were my grandparents. Still, being a black man in a masculine dominated world is not easy. Life was tough enough; the last thing I needed was my grams trying to push up on some bruiser. She totally would, though. She’s a tough old broad.” He chuckles deeply again.

  “I already like your grams.”

  “She’ll like you too.” He gives me a grin, keeping eye contact with me. I feel a tingle shoot down my spine and straight to my dick. I blush and have to look away.

  Later that afternoon, we go back to the campsite. “So, I spilled my guts about my first crush, tell me about yours,” he inquires.

  There is no way I can tell him about Jay, so without lying, I move on to the next love of my life. “Believe it or not, the first crush slash love of my life was Gemma. I was a late bloomer.”

  “Yeah, how did you guys meet exactly?”

  “Theater group back in Tennessee.”

  “So, you guys go way back then?”

  “Yeah, kinda. We both came out to LA together and auditioned at the same time for Americana. We didn’t start dating, tho
ugh until we became a couple on the show.”

  “Interesting, a showmance, then!”

  “Showmance?”

  “Showmance, romance on a show.”

  “I guess you could call it that.”

  “What was it about Gemma that got this bachelors attention? I’m curious.”

  “She was the most honest and sincere person I had ever met. She loved me just as I was, no questions asked.”

  “She’s great. I wish I had more time to spend with her.”

  “She’s the best.”

  “If you don’t mind my asking, not to pry, but you guys seemed so well suited for each other. What happened?”

  I’m getting that backed into a corner feeling again. “I couldn’t give her what she needed.” I’m vague but truthful.

  He catches my reluctance to continue.

  “Relationships are tough. My longest relationship was no more than a year, and that was several years ago.”

  “Anyone, I would know?” I ask curiously and slightly jealous. He catches it, and I see a small grin play on the corner of his upturned mouth.

  “Probably not, he wasn’t in the theater. He was an investment broker.”

  “Sounds…thrilling.” I mock a yawn.

  “Hey, he was a good guy…until he wasn’t.”

  “If I’m not prying, may I ask what happened?” I turn his tactic around.

  “He thought because I was a man in a creative and somewhat effeminate field, by his standards anyway, that I should be the ‘Little Woman’ of the relationship.”

  “He wanted you to be his bitch?”

  “That’s a nice way of putting it. I was not allowed to make any of the decisions in our relationship. He had to buy everything. I had to check in wherever I went, or he had a tantrum about my loyalty to him. He thought it was his place to take me out and show me off like a damn trophy. He was controlling beyond belief.”

  “How did you hook up with that loser in the first place?”

  “It starts slow. At first, you think, wow, this guy is a real gentleman. He took me out, made me feel special, he was confident and assured. He made me feel cared for. All qualities that I like in a guy. It was only after we started living together that he took off the mask and I saw what truly lived beneath. I was a possession. Another toy, just like his fancy car or his posh apartment, or his Rolex watch. I had to leave. He didn’t take it well.”