Just Like Heaven

by T L Bradford

  “When we come out. It will make us a target. He’ll come after us.”

  Finding her courage, she says, “He’s held his power over this family for way too long. We have to stop being afraid. That is our greatest strength against him. Noah, you’ll need to be strong and face him. His threats and manipulations have warped you, baby. He’s gotten into your head. But you can fight that. You have the power now because you have people who love you and will stop at nothing to help you when you need it. You have to break free of his hold baby, or he’ll break you.”

  Tears threaten to escape again, but instead, I nod my head in agreement with her. It’s time to take a stand. It’s time to fight for what I want. And what I want is my future with Josh. It’s time to take a risk.

  Mom and I talk all afternoon about issues old and new. I help her cook for dinner and make the dessert. We finish just about the time Jacob and Josh walk through the front door. I feel my heart do a flip when I see him. He looks gorgeous. He has on a denim jacket with a blue and black flannel top and a pair of tight jeans. His hair is mussed and shaggy. His naturally highlighted hair has grown out, making it pop against the dark blond. He gives me a lazy, lop-sided smile. My chest swells with love for him.

  “My boys are back!” my mom exclaims.

  I feel myself staring at Josh. He catches something is up and gives me a quizzical look.

  I’m so excited to tell him about my conversation with my mother, but I want to wait until later when we are alone. I shake my head and give him a wink.

  We only had this weekend to visit. I wish it were longer, but we have to get back to LA. We sit down to eat and I am in awe of Josh the entire time. I can’t help it. I’m making goo-goo eyes and smile like a total idiot. He is embarrassed and trying to get me to stop. At one point I reach my foot under the table and run it up his leg. He nearly chokes on his drink, and I stifle a laugh in his attempt to maintain control.

  We close the night playing cards, but all I can concentrate on is sharing a bed with Josh tonight. I can’t go another night without him next to me. That, of course, means I need to wrap tonight up. After the last hand, I mention how tired I am and how we need to get some sleep before our flight in the morning. I send a sheepish grin to Josh, who looks away with a blush.

  As Josh says his goodnight for the evening, I stand up as well. He turns around one last time to say something, and I put my hand on his lower back. He looks at me concerned that I’m displaying affection so openly, then before he can utter a word, I lean my head down and kiss him soundly on the mouth. We both close our eyes and take in the moment. When he comes back to reality, he opens his eyes in surprise. I drop my forehead to his and smirk at him, “I told her this afternoon. Goodnight babe.” He looks dazed and confused. Then I see the beaming smile slowly make its way to the corners of his mouth.

  “Goodnight,” he says. I’ve never seen him look so shy and cute. He can barely make eye contact with my parents as he goes upstairs. When I look over to them, my mom is crying happy tears.

  “What are you waiting for? Get your ass up there.”

  “I think you need to work on your subtlety, ma.”

  “Never. How would you recognize me?”

  As I go up the stairs, I hear Jacob from behind me say, “I called it right woman. You owe me $40 plus ten years interest.”

  Seriously? Goddammit.

  When I get upstairs, I go straight to Josh’s room; only he’s not there, so I check mine and there he is. Josh is sitting up in my bed with a pillow in his lap, legs crossed in only his boxer briefs. He has a playful, boyish look to him.

  “Thought you might want to spoon,” he says with a chuckle.

  “I was thinking of something else, but we have to wait until we get home for that one.” Wasting no time, I shut and lock the door, then make my way over to the bed pulling off one clothing item at a time as quickly as I can. I jump onto the bed, making it bounce to where he falls over. I’m right away over the top of him. I’ve been waiting for this all damn day. I kiss and feel over his body. He does the same to me. We can only go so far, with my parents right next door, so I reign it back and begin massaging his back. We make out like high school kids going to second base, then lie down and hold each other tight. I sleep well that night.

  I hear the alarm go off early. I hate to move because Josh is so perfect and warm beneath me. He wriggles free and turns the alarm off on my phone. I try to drag him back in, but he’s not having it.

  “We better get up.”

  “Nah, I don’t think so,” I gripe, throwing the sheet over my head.

  “Come on; I don’t want to make your parents wait.”

  “Ugh, fine,” I grouse, removing the sheet and pouting like a small child.

  Within the hour we are dressed and ready to go. We say our goodbyes to mom and dad then board our flight. As we walk to the terminal, I take Josh’s free hand. This is Tennessee so we get more stares than we would in LA, but it’s fine. No one says anything and goes back to their own business. We do get recognized by a few folks who must be fans of the show. I put it all behind me and try to focus on the man next to me. It’s a smooth ride back with Josh leaning his head on my shoulder and sleeping most of the trip back. Feeling content, I fall asleep with my head against his as well.

  Josh and I are in the common room running lines when Gemma sneaks up behind me and puts her arms around my neck. “Look who’s back!” she yells.

  “Living legend and man of your dreams, Noah Sinclair?” I tease.

  “You’ve been spending way too much time with Josh. Look what I’ve got for you!” she squeals as she comes around the table and takes the seat next to me. She has a small shoe sized box in her hand; it is wrapped in black wrapping paper with a large white bow.

  “What the heck is this Gem?”

  “Open it!”

  “Chill! Geez.” I take my time to unwrap the box, causing her great distress. When she’s about to rip the box out of my hands and do it herself, I stop teasing her. Inside is a pair of black and white patent leather wingtips.

  “Do you like them?” She is in fits of excitement.

  “Um…yeah Gem, these are great. Can I ask why you are randomly giving me a pair of dress shoes?”

  “You, dork. You’re my Maid of Honor. The bride always has to give the Maid of Honor a gift for her service.”

  I can already hear the peals of laughter coming from Josh’s direction, so I don’t even bother to look over. “Gem, I thought we talked about this? I’m going to require a new title if I take over the duties.”

  “How about Lady boy in Waiting?” Josh cracks.

  “Fuck you, Josh. It’s not funny!” He is completely unphased, still laughing his ass off. Then I say to Gemma, “I swear if you printed up any programs with Maid of Honor by my name, I’ll—”

  “Bestie of Honor. That’s your title.”

  “Oh, okay, I can work with that. And thank you for the shoes. They’re lovely,” I say in an overly proper tone.

  “I knew you’d like them. We’re going for the 1920s, guys and dolls vibe. You’ll look awesome.”

  “Yes, I do look good in a pair of suspenders.”

  “Speaking of looking good, that’s a nice sweater you have on today.”

  “Why, thank you.” I pop my collar, 80s style.

  “It was even nicer on Josh last week when he wore it,” She waggles her eyebrows. Looking guilty as sin, Josh and I turn to each other.

  “Babe, I think she’s on to us,” I say.

  “I think you’re right.” He leans his body in towards mine. I meet him halfway, and we kiss playfully.

  “I know that’s not in the script for this week, so can we all stop pretending now that we don’t know you’re dating?” I hear the female voice, but it’s not coming from Gemma’s mouth. When I open my eyes, standing before us are Steph and Genie, making a rare slum trip down to the common room.

  “Oh fuck,” I hear Josh sigh. We both slump back into our cha
irs.

  “We thought we might find you guys here,” Genie says.

  “Uh, look, guys, about what you just saw…” I hedge, but I don’t get far.

  Genie says, “I have to give you guys credit for keeping it on the down low for so long, but that kind of news always gets out, eventually. I must say though the pics this time are much cuter. Your memes are already trending on social media.” Genie turns her phone around and sure as shit; there is an image of Josh and me. We are on the plane, and we are curled up on each other, fast asleep. Someone must have taken pics of us on the flight from Tennessee to LA and shared them on their social media account.

  All I can think to say is, “Secret’s out.”

  “And so, apparently are you,” says Steph.

  “Is this going to be a problem for the show?” Josh asks.

  “Your relationship has never been an issue for us or the studio. It was fun watching you guys figure it out. Look, we’re here for you; all we need to know is how you both want to play this?”

  Josh looks to me since I know his answer already. “Time’s up. Let’s take the risk,” I say. He leans over and gives me a tight hug. I hold him right back and kiss the top of his head.

  We were told that the convention center had sold a record number of tickets this year. The popularity of this Comic-Con has soared over the past few years. It’s exciting to be here because the entire cast of Americana will be present.

  Tickets for our panel sold out immediately. We are all well aware of the intense scrutiny on our attendance. People will no doubt be looking for telltale signs of affection between Josh and me.

  The largest auditorium was booked for our panel. We’re all sitting in the back room waiting to get called out on stage. Most of us are racked with nerves. It’s never easy to confront your fans directly. You never know how they will respond. Josh is across the room talking to Sarita. They are no doubt discussing how they plan to handle questions about their relationship. They hug tightly, and he cradles her head in his chest. They are on good terms, but it’s still tough to deal publicly with your private issues.

  I’m trying to get myself together. We have no laid-out plan for how to answer uncomfortable questions that are bound to pop up, but we are prepared for various scenarios. Kai comes over to check on me.

  “Hey, how are you holding up? You look like you’re going to puke.”

  “No, I’m okay.” I am not okay.

  “Just in case, I think I’ll sit a few seats down from you if you don’t mind.”

  “Really, I’m good.” No, I’m not.

  His eyes flick over to Josh, then back to me. “Things going okay between you two?”

  “Yeah, I wake up some days and can’t believe he’s not some dream I had.” I turn my gaze to him and say, “Thank you.” He only smiles.

  “Hey! I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet. I got the part!”

  “I knew you would. I’m so proud of you. You had it in the bag.”

  “It’s easy when someone has faith in you.” He gives me a smile then heads over to the rest of the gang.

  “One minute guys get ready!” The organizer walks around the room, herding us all together. I feel a warm hand slide over my palm, and I turn to see Josh. He’s as beautiful as ever. He grips my hand tight.

  “Let’s go knock ’em dead.” As we walk out, I feel his hand slip from mine. I want nothing more than to grip it tight and never let go.

  It’s huge and bright in the auditorium. It’s also packed to the brim. There are so many people that some are standing against the walls or sitting on the floor in the aisles. All my nervous mind can focus on is how much that is a safety hazard. I feel panicked. I hear Josh say under his breath, “It’s okay; I’m right here next to you.” And with that, I calm down.

  Steph and Genie start talking first. They give a little history of the show and how they came up with the concept. I also hear first time stories of how they handled the casting and what an important task it was to make sure the cast gelled.

  There is a large screen behind us that shows clips from the show as they talk. It’s bizarre to see scenes of Josh and me kissing complete with a soundtrack score. Everyone hoots and hollers extra loud when our scenes come up.

  The next part is the Q&A, where they start the line-up for the audience questions to the cast. Gemma and Ash get asked lots of questions about their upcoming wedding. Olive has her troop of fangirls who adore her fashion and pop culture critique blog. The big guns are hiding in wait to pounce on Josh and me. And sure enough, they come out in full force. We are hit with personal questions about Kai and me, Josh and Sarita, me and Gemma and of course me and Josh. I wonder where people get the balls sometimes to stand up and ask such personal things. Concerning Josh and me, we’ve decided to keep it light, offering little to no detail, while not exactly denying anything.

  Some questions asked of me are:

  What is it like as a performer to portray a gay character, and what are the challenges you have faced?

  “One of the things I considered was the longevity of the role. It’s one thing to play a gay character in a movie where for two hours you’re identified with that role. It’s quite another thing when you portray a gay character in a long-term series. You have to commit yourself to stay true to this character each day of your life. I was nervous about portraying the role initially because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to portray Jace authentically as a gay man.”

  “One of the reasons fans love your storyline is because you and Josh have a very natural portrayal of your characters. How do you handle separating your professional lives from your real-life friendship?”

  “Thank you. We work hard to have characters that react and love in a real way. We hope that couples like Jace and Max will have a day when they aren’t singled out for their sexuality. They will be just a normal, average couple, dealing with the same things anyone else would. Between the two of us, it was not that big a deal. He’s a pretty charming guy. It wasn’t hard to portray his boyfriend.”

  “Was it weird for you to kiss another guy?”

  “Since we did this thing together and our chemistry worked so well, it turned out to be a nice experience, rather than something scary or uncomfortable. We make a point of having fun with it and not taking it too seriously.”

  “Is there any truth to the rumor that you two are dating in real life?”

  There are hollers and shouts from the auditorium. This is what they came to hear. I shoot a glance over to Josh; only he’s not looking at me, no one on the panel is. They are all transfixed by the image on the huge projection screen behind us. It’s the meme of us asleep on the plane. The crowd is going nuts. I turn toward Josh, who has that lop-sided grin on his face that I love so much.

  Then time stops for a brief moment. All the noise dampens, and the lights seem to dim. Everything around us disappears, and I flashback to the times we’ve spent together. The laughter, the tears, the arguments and the binding love. The final image in my mind is of his head on the pillow staring out with one eye over those fluffy white blankets the night after we first made love. He is all I see.

  I smile at him and give him a wink. Then I lean over and place my hand on the back of his neck, then rub the lower base with my thumb and place my forehead to his. His eyes are clear, wide, and bright. Then I tilt my head down, close my eyes, and give him the biggest, wettest, most passionate kiss imaginable.

  Slowly, the room grows louder, and the lights get brighter when I break from my reverie. I look out at the screaming crowd. The entire auditorium is going wild, shouting and cheering. I lean back down to Josh, whose lips are still parted, and I say, “No matter how much I say I love you; I fucking love you more than that.”

  Chapter 44

  Josh

  “Josh put down the phone and come back to bed,” Noah chides me. I’m sitting at his desk going through my social media feeds. The video of the kiss has gone viral. The response has been insane. They always sa
y not to read the comments, but I can’t help myself. I’m shocked to see the number of positive replies. Of course, there are always the bigoted trolls, but on average, the idea of Noah and I being together has been well accepted.

  “Just one more minute, okay? I need to see this from every angle. This was the most romantic moment in my life. And it was captured on video. This is my Pretty Woman moment where he rescues her, and she rescues him right back.”

  “How could I be in love with such a sap?” Noah teases and falls back onto the bed.

  “Say it again.”

  “You’re a sap.”

  “Not that, you jerk, say the other thing.”

  “What other thing?”

  “You know,” I’m feeling suddenly shy.

  “Oh…you mean…I love you?”

  “Yes.”

  Noah sits back up, leaning on his elbows. “I love you, Joshua Hill. Now come back to bed.” He pats my empty side of the bed.

  “We’ve been locked in here for two days. Don’t you think we should go out and get some fresh air?”

  “I don’t need air. I just need you.”

  I get up from the desk chair and sit on the bed next to Noah. “Now who’s sappy?” I lean over and kiss him firmly on the lips. He reaches up to grab the back of my head to bring me down over his body. He tries to trap me in his hold. “No, we have to get up. I’m exhausted. What we’re doing can’t be healthy.”

  “No one’s ever died from too much sex.” He nuzzles my neck.

  “I may be the first victim, now get up and get dressed. Today is special. I’m making you a dinner to die for.”

  “Is this going to be literal, because, need I remind you, you suck at cooking.”

  “I’m going to surprise you, watch, then you can never tease me again about my culinary skills.” I nip small kisses across the bridge of his nose.

  “Fine. Prove me wrong.” Noah dips his head to rub his nose along mine, and I do the same. Shit, we are a living cliché. I give him one last peck on the mouth, then grab my towel and head into the bathroom. We’ve had a marathon run for the last couple of days. The sex has been mind-melting. We have not bothered to leave the house with the media frenzy buzzing all around us.