Succubus Lord 3

by Eric Vall

  “Alright, alright.” The imp agreed. “Their headquarters are just a mile or two away. We can hit them on the way back.”

  “Sure thing, bro.” I laughed and then started down the sidewalk toward the Washington Monument. “How about we go to the far end and work our way back?”

  “Start off with the vampire hunter himself, Mr. Lincoln?” Todd perked up. “Count me in!”

  “I think that is one of the few paranormal legends that isn’t the slightest bit true,” I mused.

  “He’ll always be a slayer in my heart,” the imp’s voice said with a giggle.

  We made our way past the tall, pencil-like structure of the Washington Memorial and past the signs that would have directed us toward the iconic Vietnam memorial.

  “Why didn’t you tell us there was a pool here?” Libidine asked innocently as we walked along the side of the reflecting pool. “I would have brought my bikini.”

  “Who needs a swimsuit?” Sia grinned.

  “One, that thing is full of fowl crap,” I noted as I pointed to a group of ducks swimming in the water. “Two, it’s like ten inches deep.”

  “I like the sound of that,” Cupi purred.

  “Three, it’s here just for decoration,” I continued. “And four? How are you not freezing to death right now, Sia?”

  It was far from winter, but the air in D.C. was brisk, and the wind kicked up a cool breeze from the Potomac River. I was shivering even in my long-sleeves and jeans, so I could only imagine how chilly the succubi must be. Then again, it probably didn’t help that I’d spent the last few years of my life living out in the Southwest. Even a fifty-degree day felt like subzero temperatures to those of us from out there.

  “Jacob, I’m from Hell, and my body is filled with enchanted Hellfire.” Sia laughed. “I’m always warm on the inside.”

  “He knows all about that, sister,” Cupi added coyly.

  As the words slipped out of her mouth, we arrived at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial. Before us stood a massive, Parthenon-like structure with two massive sets of stairs. Pillars stretched all around the white building, and symbolic engravings with the names of the thirty-six Civil War-era states lined the friezes.

  “It looks like something out of Greece,” Sia observed. “Quite impressive for a modern structure.”

  “I just want to get up there and find the secret passage,” Todd’s voice said excitedly. “It’ll lead to the-- Oh my God, look! My people!”

  I couldn’t see where Todd was pointing, but it wasn’t hard to tell who he was talking about. Just off to the right of the pathway stood a large group of protesters holding signs and chanting. One of the signs read, “Keep Business Growing” in green, with a little pot leaf underneath. There was another one that read, “Nature’s Gift,” and another that simply said, “Legalize It.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Todd’s disembodied voice sobbed. “Permission to exercise my right as an American citizen, Jakey?”

  “Permission granted.” I laughed and motioned for the imp to go join.

  “‘Merica,” Todd retorted, and then I assumed he went over to the group.

  The succubi and I walked up the massive steps of the memorial until we finally reached the top.

  “Who was this man?” Libidine asked as she balked at the massive statue. “He must have been really important if they gave him a statue this large.”

  I briefly explained to the succubi about Lincoln and the Civil War. When I finished, none of them looked too impressed.

  “That’s it?” Cupi crossed her arms. “He was a figurehead who led the country when brother fought brother? That happens in our world daily.”

  “But it doesn’t happen here that often,” I explained. “In fact, it’s only ever happened once in the entire two-hundred-year history of the United States.”

  “Well, that’s why.” Cupi tossed her arms out in revelation. “It’s still a baby country, less than five-hundred years old. Give it time, you mortals will always find something to squabble about.”

  “I agree,” a familiar voice purred from behind us. “Mortals are weak and petty.”

  Sister Ira.

  The four of us turned around and were met with a sinister grin from the black-haired succubus. Ira was wearing a gray blazer over a mid-length black dress. She was in high heels, but she somehow made her movements appear effortless as she approached.

  “And here I was hoping you were going to try something stupid, like rushing the floor of the Senate during the vote or trying to blow up the entire government.” She giggled. “I actually would have enjoyed that.”

  “I think Todd would have, too,” I sneered. “We figured we’d come check out all the sights and sounds of D.C. before you asshole demons tried to erase it from history.”

  “Why the fuck would we do that?” Ira laughed. “National capitals are hotbeds of demonic activity. I, for one, love it here.”

  “Shouldn’t you be out stumping for your ‘husband’s’ new bill?” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s gonna take a lot to get that pushed through, and Lord knows how long. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but hooray for Government gridlock.”

  “Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…” Ira cackled. “It’s already done.”

  I was sure my ears hadn’t heard that correctly.

  “Wha-- You guys just got in a few days ago,” I said to try to poke holes in her argument.

  “It’s simply amazzzing what your Earth government can do when it’s firing on all cylinders.” The devilish succubus grinned. “You should have been there. Marvin brought me out onto the floor to deliver this big, rousing speech to his colleagues, and I did. I implored them to take action and to make the world a better place and how this bill was going to be the solution to all of America’s problems. They ate it the fuck up. Then, when it came time for the vote, I may have slipped in a teensy-weensy bit of mind control. Wash, rinse, repeat in the House of Representatives, and voila!”

  Ira smirked broadly. “The bill is on the President’s desk as we speak.”

  “So what now?” Cupi stepped between us. “Are you going to use it to take control of the portal to Hell? We know what your end game is, sister.”

  “Too bad you won’t be alive to seeeeeee it!” The succubus made jazz hands as she spoke. “It’s almost a shame. I would have loved to see Azazel rip this mortal apart limb from limb.”

  “Not if I get to him first,” I clenched my fist and started to conjure up feelings of passion.

  Sia placed her hand gracefully on my chest.

  “She’s trying to bait you, Jacob,” Sia warned as she placed her hand gracefully on my chest. “Attacking a Senator’s wife out in the middle of public would be very foolish.”

  “Very good, Superbia,” Ira cooed. “You may be a traitor, but you’re still the smartest cookie in the box by far. I was trying to bait you, but it didn’t work. Now I’ll simply have to kill you.”

  In the blink of an eye, a blast of emerald flame shot from the succubus’ hands and crashed into the top of one of the pillars. The white, fluted support beam cracked loose and began to topple onto our position.

  Instinctively I threw up my own green fire and transported the pillar over to safety on the grass of the Mall.

  But that was just the beginning of the chaos.

  People started to scream and run away as more pieces of marble rubble began to fall from the sky, but Libidine caught a few of the pieces with her own telekinetic flame seconds before they smashed into the fleeing citizens. At the same time, Cupiditas dashed over and tackled a family of tourists out of the way of the debris.

  I summoned red fire into my hands and prepared to go super-demon.

  “No, Jacob,” Sia implored. “We need to save as many people as we can and get out of here. We can’t be seen using our powers out here. We’d make the national news and become public enemy number one.”

  “She literally just used her Hellfire to--”

  “Mortals can’t see the green fi
re, remember?” the redhead begged. “Right now, they think it’s a freak accident. Don’t turn this into a terrorist attack.”

  Ira was now standing across the way, behind one of the remaining pillars. She stamped her foot at the madame’s words and pouted.

  “You just have to go and ruin everything, don’t you?” she hissed at Sia and then teleported herself away with a flash of green.

  The top of the Lincoln Memorial continued to crumble underneath its own weight, and we only had seconds before the whole place was going to come down on our heads and kill hundreds of innocent people.

  I closed my eyes and thought about what Ira had just done. The heinous act that she committed that was going to kill so many good people. And for what? Just to prove a point? My hands throbbed as the emerald fire coursed through my entire body.

  I opened my eyes and at the same time unleashed all the green fire that I had built up.

  It rocketed toward the ceiling of the memorial and then spread across the entire structure like a virus. Seconds later, the entire Lincoln Memorial was aglow with my spell.

  And it was fucking heavy.

  I fell to my knees and grimaced as I tried to hold up the marble building. I could feel the sweat pouring down my face, and my entire body ached and screamed for me to let go.

  But I couldn’t let these innocent people die. Not because of Azazel.

  “I’ll help you, Jacob!” Libidine called out and then shot her own fire into the ceiling.

  The load was lessened on my shoulders, but when I saw Liby collapse to her knees, I knew we couldn’t make it much longer.

  “Cupi, get these people out of here!” I commanded to the blonde. “Sia, you--”

  My eyes caught the glint of the madame’s golden dress in the sun.

  That’s it.

  “Sia!” I called out. “Do you think you can heal the building?”

  “I-- I’ve never done anything this large before!” she yelled back with concern.

  “You’re gonna have to try!” I groaned as the weight of the building continued to push Liby and me into the ground.

  Sia’s hand began to glow with golden fire, and then she disappeared behind a pillar.

  “Hurry, sister!” Libidine grimaced. “I can’t hold it much longer!”

  It felt like the literal weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I was about to collapse. I let out a primal scream as I tried to stand up, but the counter-force made me fall back to the ground. My knees were getting weak, and my arms felt like they were made of rubber. We were all going to die if Sia failed.

  As if right on cue, I saw our emerald spell get overtaken by golden fire. The weight was lifted as the massive cracks on the ceiling began to mend themselves with the help of the redhead’s healing magic. Seconds later, as more and more of the main supports were mended, the entire structure was fully supporting itself once more.

  Minus the pillar that was on the grass of the mall, of course.

  “So that’s it then?” Libby panted as I helped her off the ground. “Sister Ira has won?”

  “Of course not,” I hissed, “but that was a close call.”

  “I did it, Jacob!” Sia was giddy as she ran over. “I didn’t think I could, but then I thought about what would happen if I couldn’t, how I would lose both of you forever, and how it would have been my fault.”

  “It’s alright, Superbia.” I pulled the succubus in for a hug. “We made it. Now we need to round up Todd and Cupi and get the fuck out of here before the Feds arrive.”

  “What will we do now, Jacob?” Sia asked hopelessly.

  I stumbled over to Libidine and helped the succubus back to her feet. “We need some Divine intervention.” I nodded. “As soon as we get back to the hotel, we’re calling in the Archangel.”

  Chapter 13

  The girls and I sat around the pristine oak table in the dining room as we deliberated our next move. We’d been back at the hotel for a few hours now, but we were still drained from the fight with Wrath. Cupi and Sia were back to their normal perky selves, but Libidine looked just as exhausted as I felt.

  I guess that’s what happens when you try to hold tons of marble and limestone with nothing but your Hellfire powers.

  “Do we really need to call up that goody-two-shoes?” I heard Todd groan from the living area of our suite. “We can totally handle Ira and that politician dude on our own.”

  “Probably,” I agreed, “but what harm does it do to have a little bit of backup? Especially when that backup is a super-powerful Archangel from Heaven who knows more about this stuff than we ever could?”

  “He’s laaaaammmmeeee,” the imp pleaded. “I can already tell you how this conversation is gonna go down. He’s gonna show up here all glowy, and then he’s gonna start scolding us for not calling him sooner. Probably say how he knew about everything from the beginning and how he could have defeated Ira and Forneus single-handedly or some shit like that.”

  “What about you guys?” I turned back to address the succubi. “Do you think we’re making the right call here?”

  “I don’t see why not.” Cupiditas sighed. “I agree with Todd that Raphael is an insufferable tightwad, but things are starting to escalate, and we can use all the help we can get.”

  I looked over at Sia, who nodded in agreement.

  “If the legislation has already been passed, then we only have a day or two before Sister Ira and the Seventy-Two Servants are in possession of the Porta ad Inferos,” she said grimly, “if not less.”

  “And then what?” I asked. “Will Ira and the rest of the demons just like, chant some ancient spell that lets Azazel waltz right on through?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug. “That’s the scary part. I’ve never seen one of these portals in the flesh, as they’ve always been protected by the Divine.”

  “All the more reason to call for Raphael,” Libidine argued. “Our knowledge is limited on this one since we are such low-level demons.”

  “Come on,” Todd groaned again. “Jakey and I can figure it out! Please don’t bring that snobby wanker into our place.”

  “How much do you know about the Porta ad Inferos?” Sia asked with a raised eyebrow.

  There was silence from the other room for a moment.

  “Uh-- lots!” Todd called back. “I know that it’s a portal that can teleport people directly through the different dimensions. And that’s it’s located in Virginia. And that Sister Ira and the Seventy-Two Servants want it for themselves.”

  “And?” the redhead asked coyly.

  “And, uh--” the imp continued. “I know that it’s-- It’s the key to getting Azazel back on Earth Realm and that it’s really no bueno.”

  “Is that all?” Sia giggled.

  “I-- Yeah, that’s all.“ Todd’s voice sounded disappointed. “We should probably call Mr. stick-up-his-ass.”

  “I wonder if he ever upgraded from his pager?” I mused as I typed the Archangel’s number into my cell phone’s dialer.

  The display of the phone lit up blue with Raph’s number and contact photo.

  “Did he really let you take a photo?” Sia asked curiously as she peered over at the phone. “Hmm. He looks a lot younger in that one.”

  “It’s just a generic picture of an angel I found on the internet.” I laughed. “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all, right?”

  I looked around the table and saw that all three of the succubi were staring at me with horrified expressions.

  “What?” I shrugged.

  “Bro…” Todd sauntered into the dining room. “You can’t just say all angels look the same.”

  “You know what I mean.” I rolled my eyes and held the phone up so that Todd could look at the contact picture. “His face is so generic, it looks like one of the character’s you’d be trying to find in Guess Who?”

  “I guess you’re right,” Todd conceded. “Ooof. Like if a sketch artist was asked to draw a human incarnation of the word
‘Tool.’ I don’t even think his own mother could pick him out--”

  “This is Raphael,” the Archangel’s voice crackled through my phone’s speaker.

  “Raphey boy!” Todd exclaimed happily.

  “Hello, Todd.” Raphael sighed. “Please tell me this isn’t another one of your prank calls. ‘Amanda Fuch’ isn’t here.”

  “Are you sure?” the imp giggled into the phone. “What about Holdo Myzak?”

  I tapped the screen to turn off speaker mode and held the phone up to my ear.

  “Ignore him, Raphael,” I explained. “I’m the one who called you.”

  “Jacob!” the Archangel’s crackling voice sounded relieved. “To-- do I owe the pleasure?”

  The other line was suddenly filled with a fuzzy white noise, and Raphael sounded like he was three feet away from the phone when he spoke. To make matters worse, his sentences were cutting in and out.

  “I need to talk to you about the Porta ad Inferos,” I explained.

  “The Portal to Infants?” he asked in confusion.

  “No, the Porta ad Inferos,” I reiterated into the phone.

  “I’m afraid you’re breaking up, Jacob,” Raphael huffed. “Are you going through a tunnel or something?”

  “I’m standing in our hotel room!” I snapped and then let out a sigh of frustration. “Look, can you come here in person? It’ll be a lot easier than trying to explain.”

  “I’m-- my way,” the Archangel confirmed. “And-- bring along company.”

  I hung up the phone and turned to the imp.

  “Todd… have you been using my phone to crank call an all-powerful Archangel?” I asked as I tapped my foot on the ground.

  Todd held out his hands to calm me down. “If it makes you feel any better, that’s not even close to the worst thing I’ve done with your phone,” he explained.

  “How is that supposed to make me feel better?” I demanded and then tossed the phone onto the table.

  “Did Todd use your phone for pornographic purposes?” Sia asked innocently. “I know I have before.”