Succubus Lord 3

by Eric Vall

  Finally, Shadow’s GPS announced that we had reached our destination. The only thing marking the driveway was a small, black metal mailbox, and I nearly passed it in my exhausted, caffeine-riddled state. The gravel pathway appeared to snake back into the forest, toward the location of the Porta ad Inferos. I turned our black Jeep Wrangler onto the foreboding pathway, and we began the final leg of our journey.

  At this point, we had lost all signal to our radio, and the only noise that filled the vehicle’s cabinet was the muffled sounds of Shadow’s tires as they moved over the gravel.

  That, and Todd’s loud snoring.

  We traveled through the dense, foggy forest for a few minutes until we came upon a farmhouse that nestled at the foot of a large hill.

  The house was fairly large with two stories and a wide base. Of course, its size was counteracted by the fact that it was old as hell. Pieces of the red vinyl siding were falling off in clumps, and the duct tape that reflected off our headlights told the story of many home window repairs. The roof of the structure appeared to be sagging in the center, and even the beamed porch at the front of the house looked like it was going to fall over if you even breathed on it wrong. There was a light visible through one of the second-floor windows, but I couldn’t see any signs of people stirring inside.

  It was now four-thirty in the morning, so I imagined that it was simply a light that somebody forgot to turn off last night.

  I killed the lights and the engine of our vehicle, nudged Todd awake, and then the five of us tried to sneak out of the car as stealthily as we could.

  “Where do we even start?” Liby whispered. “There’s nothing but forest and farmland as far as I can see.”

  “I think you mean ‘as far as the eye can see,’” Todd corrected.

  “No, I mean as far as I can see,” Liby giggled, “but I appreciate your concern for my grammar.”

  The imp shrugged. “Just trying to make you sound smarter,” he explained. “Now, where the fuck is the Portillo ad Inferno?”

  I didn’t have the heart to correct the little guy.

  “It might be tricky,” I said as I pulled out my cell phone and began to search through the pictures, “but we still have the photos from earlier at the party. That’ll at least give us a starting point.”

  “Oh, great.” The imp chuckled. “So we simply need to figure out which of the hundreds of open clearings in this forest is the right one, based off a grainy satellite picture. That’ll totally be easy.”

  “Todd, Todd, Todd.” I clicked my tongue and tapped my temple. “You’re not using your noodle.”

  “What’s my dick got to do with this, bro?” the imp asked curiously. “It’s not a Hell-portal finder, as magical as it may be.”

  “Your head, Todd.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Right, but what, you think my head is gonna point the way?” He motioned to his crotch. “It only does that when--”

  “No!” I cut him off with a laugh. “It means you’re not using your brain to think.”

  “Oh,” Todd muttered. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

  “I-- Nevermind.” I sighed and then pointed to Cupi and Liby. “We have two satellites of our own right here. They can fly up, do some recon of the area, and see if they find anything that matches the picture.”

  “What about us three?” Sia asked. “Are we going to wait here while the other girls go scouting?”

  I nodded to the redhead. “We need to stay with the vehicle and make sure the owners don’t get suspicious,” I explained. “Or, more importantly, we need to make sure they don’t spot the two demons that are swooping around their property on magic wings.”

  “Ah, that’d be easy to explain.” Todd giggled. “Just tell ‘em they’re a rare species of birds or some shit.”

  “A rare species of birds that looks exactly like a human woman and wears clothes?” I raised my eyebrow at the imp.

  “Stranger shit exists in this world, bro,” Todd said as he scratched his chin with tiny claws. “I still don’t think the platypus is a real animal.”

  “Yet you believe in Bigfoot.” I rolled my eyes and then turned to the succubi. “You guys ready?”

  Liby and Cupi nodded before they summoned their wings with a quick flash of purple fire.

  “You take the left sector, and I’ll take the right, Liby.” Cupi nodded to her sister as her black angel wings raised into the air.

  Libidine wrapped her bat-like wings around her body, and then crouched down to prepare for takeoff.

  “Godspeed, brave souls!” Todd saluted the succubi.

  Libidine propelled herself off the ground like a bullet, and seconds later she was out of sight.

  Cupi’s wings pushed downward and drove her up into the sky. She fluttered above us for a moment, suspended by her jet-black feathery appendages.

  “Showoff,” Cupi grumbled and then shot off into the morning air.

  “Not to bring up a sore subject,” Todd mused as he watched the blonde fly away, “but where are your wings, Strawberry Shortcake? Did somebody forget to ring a bell for you?”

  “That’s angels, Todd,” I corrected.

  Sia shook her head sadly and sighed. “Unfortunately, I’ve never had that ability. I can produce wings, but they are tiny and useless, like that of a Cherub.”

  “Don’t be sad,” I comforted the woman with an arm around her shoulder. “I think you’d look cute with Cupid wings.”

  “Please don’t compare me to the angel of love.” Sia shuddered. “He is… deeply troubled. Have you ever seen a grown man wear a diaper before?”

  “Nope,” I laughed, “and I never intend to.”

  “Well, if we ever-- Someone’s coming!” Sia hissed.

  “Who’s out there?” I heard an old man’s voice call out from the doorway of the house. “I’ve got a shotgun, and I’m not afraid to use it!”

  “Don’t shoot!” I implored as I held up my hands. “We’re surveyors from the Bureau of Land Management.”

  “You’re supposed to give me a reason not to shoot you,” the old man growled. “What are you doing out here this early?”

  “We just wanted to get started before anybody woke up, bro,” Todd added.

  I turned my head and saw that the Toddster was now in his human form.

  Thank God. I was afraid I was gonna have to try and bullshit a reason for why we had a little devil with us.

  The man must have been tickled by Todd’s comments, and he began to laugh hysterically. He stepped out to where we could see him and lowered the shotgun he had cocked in his arms.

  “We’re farmers, son.” He chuckled. “You should know our day starts at four a.m. sharp.”

  I lowered my hands, walked up to the old man, and extended my arm.

  “Jacob,” I said as I shook his hand. “Jacob Ralston.”

  I probably should have used an alias, but this guy seemed genuine. Besides, we were trespassing on his land in the wee hours of the morning. The least we could do was be transparent.

  “You look like an honest man, Jacob,” the old man in blue flannel observed. “But you’re late. Come on in, Betty made more breakfast for all ya. We can discuss all this government nonsense over a plate of bacon and eggs.”

  “I’m not gonna say no to that, broski.” Todd giggled and then headed toward the door of the house.

  Sia looked over at me, shrugged, and then followed Todd through the threshold.

  “Late for what, if I may ask?” I questioned, but the man didn’t seem to hear my words.

  “Come on, son.” The man turned around and motioned for me to follow. “Food’s getting cold, and your friend is already here.”

  “Friend?” My heart sank into my stomach.

  I began to walk toward the door as my mind raced with what he could possibly be talking about. I stopped for a moment and then looked back at the forest. I really hoped that we were buying Cupi and Liby enough time to find the Porta ad Inferos, and I really hoped that our ‘friend
’ wasn’t who I thought it was.

  “Yeah?” The old man sounded confused. “You’re part of our meeting right? She was saying that the rest of you wouldn’t be here until much later.”

  I nodded and followed. We had to play along for now, after all. As I walked through the door, I nearly froze in my tracks.

  Todd and Sia were already anxiously taking a seat at the table, next to an old woman I assumed was Betty. To their left sat two familiar faces, a short-haired woman with black hair and a small, nearly tow-headed toddler.

  It was Sister Ira and her “son.”

  Chapter 17

  For a moment, I thought that this whole setup had been some elaborate scheme by Ira to taunt us. The look on the succubus’ face when we walked in, however, told a different tale. For the first time, Ira looked surprised.

  “Your friends are here, Miss Franklin,” the old man exclaimed as I made my way to the tiny circular dining table.

  “Oh, these aren’t the people I was expecting,” the succubus said as her eyes narrowed. “We were waiting for my husband and his secretary.”

  I slid down directly across from Ira and locked eyes with the demon.

  “Your husband and his secretary aren’t coming,” I hinted not-so-subtly. “They’re a little tied up at the moment.”

  “Is that so?” Ira hissed.

  “Yeah, so he sent us instead,” I continued the lie. “Of course, being the peons we are, he didn’t really fill us in on the nitty-gritty details before we left.”

  “That’s a shame,” Ira grumbled. “This is a fairly sensitive meeting about a very sensitive matter. It’s not like my husband to leave his associates in the dark like this. Perhaps you can come back during our next meeting, once you have a firmer grasp on the issue?”

  “We’re not that deep in the dark,” I laughed and gestured to the old couple. “This is a meeting about Proposition Sixty-Six and how it’s going to affect these nice citizens.”

  “Shall I call your associates, mother?” the child’s monotone voice interrupted.

  “Creepy Omen-looking fucker,” Todd mumbled under his breath, and the “little boy” shot him a death glare.

  “Not yet, sweetie,” she said with a frown. “Mommy can handle this on her own.”

  “So, what were you folks discussing before my associates and I so rudely interrupted?” I coyly prodded. “We’re simply here to get a firmer grasp on the situation so that we can do our job better later.”

  “Who are these people, Elmer?” Betty asked mildly.

  I looked over at Todd, who was pursing his lips. I was sure he wanted to make a Looney Tunes joke, but he at least seemed to be trying to hold back.

  “Where are my manners?” I slapped my forehead playfully. “I’m Jacob. I’m the project manager of this particular case. That charming young man over there is the head of development, Todd, and this redhead over here is Sia, our logistics manager.”

  “Sia?” Betty mused. “That’s such a pretty name.”

  “Betty is equally as charming a name,” Sia said with a smile.

  “Pleasure to meet you, Sia.” Ira barely held back the growl in her voice, now visibly annoyed. “I really don’t think Marvin would--”

  “We’re here on his orders, Ira.” Todd shrugged.

  “Excuse me?” Ira growled.

  “Er, I mean ‘Megan,’” Todd wrongfully corrected himself.

  “Do you even know my name?” Ira’s pupils narrowed. “I would have figured top-level government employees would at least know their client’s names.”

  “My apologies, ‘Margaret.’” Todd winked.

  Now, he was doing it on purpose, and it was really getting under Ira’s skin.

  “Are you sure I should not call, momma?” the boy asked again as he brandished his cell phone.

  “Why do you have a cell phone?” Todd laughed. “You’re, like, four.”

  “Mom, the smelly man is being mean.” The toddler was also getting annoyed with Todd’s antics.

  “Who you callin’ smelly?” Todd snarked back. “At least I’m potty trained.”

  “When did that happen, last week?” the demon child shot back.

  I needed to turn the conversation back to business before things got too off the rails, so I turned back to Elmer and Betty.

  “So, as I was saying, what is the purpose of this meeting?” I asked. “Marvin wants as detailed notes as possible, so spare nothing.”

  “Mr. Pearson, I can surely tell my husband what has happened,” Ira chimed in. “I’m still not sure why your services are needed.”

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get him to leave.” Elmer chuckled. “I knew government was a cut-throat business, but sheesh.”

  Betty picked up a bowl of scrambled eggs and passed it between the succubus and me.

  “Here, eat some breakfast,” she smiled. “A little bit of bacon and eggs makes everyone happy.”

  “Don’t mind if I do,” I grinned and plopped some eggs onto my plate. “Thank you very much, Mrs…?”

  “Edison,” the old woman finished my sentence.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Edison!” Sia and Todd both repeated in unison.

  Meanwhile, Ira and her “son” looked shell-shocked. There was no way in Hell this was going as they expected.

  “So, back to Proposition Sixty-Six…?” I started.

  “Ha!” Elmer scoffed. “What a crock of malarkey. No offense.”

  “None taken, bro,” Todd said through a mouthful of eggs.

  “Proposition Sixty-Six?” The old man shook his head angrily. “More like Proposition Six-Six-Six! It’s just another way the rich, out-of-touch politicians up in Washington are screwing over us common folk.”

  “Now, Mr. Edison,” Ira responded, “we are going to compensate you quite generously for your land, at least double the calculated value and then some.”

  Elmer took a bite of sausage, sat back in his seat, and crossed his arms.

  “Sorry, sweetie, but you couldn’t make me happy about this deal if you offered me ten times the value,” the man grumbled. “These four-hundred acres have been in the Edison family since before Virginia was even Virginia. It ain’t right that you’re taking it for ‘the public good.’ I’m a member of the public, and it ain’t good for me!”

  “That’s why I’m here, Mr. Edison.” Ira was trying to keep her cool, but her eyes were growing crazier by the minute. “My husband and I wanted to come here personally and talk to you about all the good your land is going to bring to this great state.”

  Elmer let out a scoff. “You’re not even from this state,” he accused the succubus. “You’re from Arizona! Why do you carpetbagging politicians think you can just come in here and tell us what’s best for us?”

  “Mr. Edison, my husband and I--” the dark-haired succubus began.

  “I don’t see no husband!” Elmer cut her off. “It’s just you and yer cronies. At least they’re all treating us like we’re human beings, and not just another voter to woo.”

  The man’s sharp tongue left Ira speechless. Her visible simmering rage told me that she wanted nothing more than to rip this guy limb-from-limb.

  But she hadn’t. Ira and her demon friend had been here alone with the couple for who knows how long before we got here. Yet they were both still alive.

  I needed to get to the bottom of this.

  “I’m having a hard time understanding the purpose of this meeting,” I butted into the conversation. “The proposition has already passed. The Edisons here don’t seem too pleased about that, but there’s nothing they can do. So, I must ask again, Mrs. Franklin, is this meeting something trying to comfort them and smooth things over?”

  “It’s above your pay grade,” Ira sneered. “That’s why my husband was supposed to be here, and not low-level employees like you.”

  “My goodness!” Betty gasped. “That’s not very kind of you, to speak to this nice young gentleman like that.”

 
“It’s okay, Betty,” I reassured the old woman. “I work in the government, I’m used to getting talked down to all the time. I hate it, but it’s an honest day’s pay. It really would help my friends and me here if we could know a little bit more about the nature of this meeting.”

  “Of course, son.” Elmer nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Franklin wanted to talk with us about the older features on our land.”

  “Like the old barn, grain mill, and wishing well,” Mrs. Edison added.

  I looked over at Ira and grinned slyly.

  They didn’t know where the Porta ad Inferos was, either.

  “We wanted to be sure that these historic sites were preserved as the new project got underway.” Ira huffed. “It was the least we could do to carry on these fine citizens’ legacy.”

  “You know, you could have simply let them keep their land,” Todd noted from across the table and then took a bite of bacon. “That’d be a great way for them to keep their legacy.”

  “Whose side are you on?” the succubus hissed.

  Todd shrugged. “Your husband pulled a huge dick move by forcing that bill through,” he explained. “I may work for the government, but I don’t gotta like it.”

  Elmer slapped the table and pointed to Todd. “I’m liking this kid more and more by the minute, Betty!”

  “How would you know anything about a ‘huge dick,’ imp?” the Franklin “kid” mumbled under his breath.

  “I swear, kid, I’ll drown you in a bathtub,” Todd whispered back.

  “I’m particularly interested in the wishing well.” Ira was not putting on a fake “sweet” voice any longer. “I’ve never actually seen one in real life. I’ve seen those ones that are in malls and parks, but never one with such a history. Do you think you could take us there after breakfast?”

  “I suppose we don’t really have a choice, do we?” Elmer scoffed. “We either show it to you, or your workers accidentally destroy it to make room for a new highway or power plant or whatever you plan to do with my family’s land.”

  “Excellent,” Ira said as she shot me a victorious glare and then turned back to her “child.” “Hurry up, Ralphie. We don’t want to impose on our hosts any more than we have to.”