The Moth and the Flame

by Reid, B. B.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  I sighed seeing genuine confusion in her eyes. “I’m trying to apologize, Lou. Now if you could just shut up and let me,” I grumbled.

  She frowned then. “By making me sit on your lap?”

  “By being with you.” I inhaled the stale air and let it out slowly. “We’ve been fighting more lately.”

  Her gaze turned somber as she studied me. “I noticed, too.”

  “Any ideas why?”

  She peeked up at me from her lashes. “You’re a dick?”

  Amusement shook my chest as I stared down at her. “That’s one theory.”

  I finished off the last of the hot dog, balled up the wrapping, and aimed for the garbage can a few feet away. When it cleared the rim, Lou said with sarcasm dripping from every syllable, “Let me guess…you’re remarkably skilled at basketball, too.”

  I winked and stood us up before taking her hand and leading her onto the beach. I found us an empty spot on the sand and plopped down, bringing Lou with me.

  “We probably should have brought a towel,” Lou remarked. “We’ll track sand in your precious Paula.”

  I paused. “Paula?”

  “The Impala,” she answered and then burst out laughing at the scowl on my face.

  “How are you just going to name my ride?”

  “Easy.” She chortled. “I’ve been calling her Paula this entire time. This is just the first time I’ve done it to your face.”

  “What?” I roared, and she howled even louder while clutching her stomach.

  Before she could recover, I pinned her to the sand with an evil grin and attacked her sides with my fingers. It wasn’t long before she was begging for mercy, and by the time I finished, she lay spent in the sand. Neither of us spoke, and I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It didn’t matter.

  I was still hovering over her, gazing into her eyes glistening with tears from my tickling when I said, “Am I forgiven?”

  Her lips parted, and as she blinked, I held my breath. I knew I wasn’t just asking forgiveness for our fight yesterday.

  “I’m not sure,” she said in a playful tone. “I don’t think I should forgive you so easily. It sets precedence.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “I think a foot rub should suffice.” I grinned and rolled away, and when I pulled one of her feet into my lap, she sat up on her hands and screeched, “Wait! I was kidding!”

  Any other protests she might have had died when I slowly peeled the flip-flop from her foot and began massaging the muscles there. It wasn’t long before her eyes fluttered followed by a groan, and then her head fell back on her shoulders.

  “You’re one of those dudes who have a freaky foot fetish, aren’t you?” she said when I moved to her other foot.

  I barked out a laugh. “Fuck no.” I had to admit though, even if it was to myself, how pretty and dainty Lou’s feet were. Even the dark purple nail polish coating her toes was fascinating to me. My tan was deep while her skin looked like she’d been kissed by the sun. She was soft, too, and for a second, I worried that my rough hands would mar her skin, but then I shook off those ridiculous thoughts and dropped her foot abruptly.

  She lifted a brow but thankfully didn’t ask questions as she sat up all the way. “Thanks,” she said and grinned as she began slipping her sandals back on her feet. “You’re forgiven.”

  “I didn’t fuck her,” I blurted before I could stop the words from spilling. I released a long string of curses in my head as I watched and waited.

  Her smile immediately fell as her chest rose hard and fast. “What?”

  “Samantha,” I told her, my voice sounding calmer than I felt. “She lied.”

  Lou’s eyes narrowed to slits when she faced me. “Why would she lie?”

  “Because she was jealous.” I struggled to swallow before saying. “Of you.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” she spat.

  “Was it? You came on to me that night, Lou.” And turning you down was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

  “And you made it clear,” Lou said with a sneer, “that she had nothing to be jealous of.”

  “Come the fuck on.” I groaned. “I had an itch she was more than eager to scratch, but one word from you, and I chose agony over pleasure. Don’t you dare tell me she had no reason to be jealous.”

  She shot to her feet, and I followed her. “If I cause you so much pain, if I’m such a cruel twist of fate, why the fuck don’t you just stay away from me?” she screamed.

  Just like that, we were once again at odds with each other.

  I held her gaze, and whatever she saw in mine made her gasp. “Because,” I growled. And then I gripped her chin and pulled her close so I could feel her heat and she could feel my need. My arm locked around her waist, and I pressed my lips to her ear. “I’m the moth to your flame, Lou. I’d rather be burned a thousand times than be free of you.”

  “But you said—” she whimpered before I gripped her chin harder and cut her off.

  “I know what I said. I also warned you that I wouldn’t have the strength to change it.” I took a deep breath, and it shuddered out of me. “I’m fucking weak for you, Lou.”

  I let her go, and she was suddenly shy and unsure as she avoided my gaze. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “We say nothing, and we do nothing. Those are our only options, Lou.”

  “But why? Being best friends doesn’t mean we can’t be there for each other…in every way.”

  “It does for us.”

  She propped her hands on her hips. “Then explain it to me.”

  “I’m not good enough for you,” I told her honestly. I sat back down, but she stayed standing.

  “Try again.”

  I shook my head. It was the only answer she’d ever get. The whole truth would send her packing, and I’d lose her forever.

  She sighed and then stared at the sand for a while before saying, “Fine.”

  I watched her slide her feet from her sandals and take a couple of steps toward the water before peeking over her shoulder at me.

  “Coming?”

  I gave her a crooked smile. “I’m not a toe-dipping kind of guy, and there are too many people around to go skinny dipping.”

  She blushed, and I felt the blood rush to my cock knowing at that moment, she imagined how the rest of the night might go if things were different between us and we were alone.

  Shrugging, she smirked and said, “Suit yourself.”

  And then I felt like I’d been punched in the gut with a Louisville slugger when she sexily shimmied out of her shorts and shirt, and without any regard for the hundreds of people around, she ran to the water in just her panties and bra.

  Cursing, I shot to my feet with a growl that would send a lion running for safety and took off after her.

  “Are you coming up?” Lou quietly asked me as she stood in front of the Hendersons’ front door, twirling her key in her hand. Her question strangely made it feel like we’d just gotten back from a date and she was inviting me up for a nightcap.

  I eyed her damp hair, which had gotten wet thanks to the wave that crashed into us before I could drag her out of the water, and the rest of her still dripping water. I wanted desperately to get her out of those clothes and wrapped around me so I took a step back.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  She frowned. “Because of the thing we’re both thinking but can’t say?”

  I took another step back. “Yes.”

  I wasn’t expecting her gentle smile, and it was all I could do not to kiss it from her lips. She shouldn’t be smiling. She should be running scared like I was right now.

  “Good night, bestie.” With a wave of her fingers, she disappeared inside the house, and I could finally breathe again.

  “I NEED YOU TO PICK me up!” I shouted into my phone. I admit I was feeling a little grumpy, but considering the fact I’d spent the entire day searching the city high and low for my best f
riend, I think a little moodiness was allowed. It didn’t matter that I’d gone against all of Wren’s warnings never to go looking for him. The asshole was avoiding me and not for any of the usual reasons.

  Today was Wren’s twentieth birthday, and as usual, he refused to celebrate. Every year, he’d say the same thing.

  “How many times do I need to celebrate being born? You wouldn’t dig up a person’s corpse every year and bake them a fucking cake for dying.”

  “Why?” he breathed into the phone, and he sounded every bit as annoyed as I sounded.

  Snatching the phone away from my ear, I doubled-checked the name on my screen with my nose wrinkled. Since when did Wren not jump at the chance to do things for me?

  “Do you know what today is?”

  “Monday,” he replied, and his tone was drier than the Sahara desert. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

  “My first day isn’t until Thursday. Besides, I’m dropping out again.”

  “Lou.”

  “Kidding, bestie!” A warm feeling spread over my tummy knowing he cared. My best friend would often take my breath away without even trying. “Are you coming to get me or not?”

  “I’m a little busy right now.” And then I heard what sounded like flesh impacted followed by a pained groan. The warm feeling went in an instant, and icy coldness took its place.

  “I won’t need you for another couple of hours,” I said, losing some of my excitement. I didn’t have to question if Wren noticed when he started speaking to someone in hushed tones in the background. I couldn’t help straining to hear his surroundings while wondering if he was safe. Wren was always so secretive about where he went when he wasn’t with me. Other than the nights he slept on my bedroom floor, I still had no idea where he laid his head. I didn’t know if it was for my protection or his since he often accused me of being reckless.

  I heard a door close a moment later, and then he sighed. “What time?”

  “Seven please, and there’s a dress code, so you have to wear something nice!”

  “Why?” he asked sounding suspicious. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  He grunted. “It can’t be if I’m driving.”

  “Well, for the next couple of hours, it’s a surprise.”

  I waited for his smartass response, but none came. Instead, he asked me if I had everything I needed for school. The day after we’d gone to Coney Island, he’d taken Eliza and me shopping for school supplies. The Hendersons were begrudgingly delighted since they hated Wren but couldn’t afford to put up much of a fight.

  Wren continued to grill me about everything under the sun, and before I knew it, two hours had passed, and he was ringing the Hendersons’ doorbell. I rushed down the stairs with the roses I’d gotten for him in hand before Eliza could have the chance to gush and blush like she always did. Judging by the romance novels she hid from her parents, Eliza liked her heroes bad. My curfew was at ten, which left me plenty of time to have Wren all to myself. When I opened the door, however, my pleasure immediately took a nosedive.

  “You didn’t dress up!”

  Wren was wearing his usual attire—blue jeans and a white T-shirt. The only difference was that he’d thrown on a white button-up that might have been okay if he hadn’t left the shirt open and worn a tie. His gaze slowly perused me before cocking his head to the side. “Neither did you.”

  My jaw dropped as I looked down at what I’d chosen to wear. “This is my best dress!” It was a white skater dress with an embroidered lace hem. It was nothing special, but whenever I wore it, Wren stared just a little longer than usual when he thought I wasn’t looking. I’d even paired it with black wedges to make my legs look longer.

  “I’ve seen you dig through trash in that dress.”

  “For the record,” I defended as I crossed my arms, “it wasn’t for food. I stashed a wallet I lifted in there when I ran from that beat cop.”

  Smirking, he gripped the front of my dress and pulled me over the threshold before closing the door behind me. “Let’s go.”

  I dug my heels in when he tried to pull me down the stairs. Strangling the strap of my mom’s rucksack, I gave him my sternest look. “Could you at least try to be excited?”

  His nostrils flared as glared up at me from the bottom of the stairs. “I showed up, didn’t I?”

  “Sometimes showing up isn’t enough.”

  He groaned and threw his head back on his shoulders. “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re spoiled.”

  “And you’re an asshole, but you don’t hear me calling you names.”

  He threw his arms out in defeat. “What do you want me to do, Lou? It’s too late for me to change.”

  That was true, and to be honest, I wasn’t even upset about him not cleaning up. Wren looked good no matter what he wore, but it was just as he said. I was spoiled, and he had only himself to blame. Wren still hadn’t learned to stop letting me have my way.

  “Let me drive the pussy wagon.”

  His glower only deepened. “Nice try.”

  “It’s interesting that you didn’t deny it being a pussy wagon.”

  He shrugged—appearing too smug for my liking—before doing an about-face and completely missing my reaction. My feet felt like lead as I slowly followed him to his car. I couldn’t even find the energy to argue when he got into the driver’s seat. Getting to drive his car was a long shot but so were the desires I held closer to my heart.

  “Where to?” he asked once he had the engine started.

  I recited the address and stared out my window the entire drive. I didn’t have to question if he noticed my mood. He made it clear with the happy tune he was whistling that he didn’t care.

  Asshole.

  Almost an hour later, I was so far inside my head that I hadn’t noticed we’d arrived until his hand brushed my knee as he reached inside the glove compartment. Pulling out a black tie, he quickly buttoned up his shirt, flipped up his collar, and slipped the tie around his neck. My lips parted as I watched him. When he’d finished, he tucked his lips inside his mouth, holding in his laugh as he eyed me.

  “Oh,” I breathed out.

  “Yeah, oh,” he echoed sarcastically.

  I snapped my lips shut, refusing to apologize. I might have made assumptions, but Wren had been all too willing to play his games. He moved around the car, and after opening my door, Wren held out his hand for me to take. When he noticed me staring at his hand like it was covered in shit, he squatted and met my gaze. “Problem, bestie?”

  I knew he was mocking me with that endearment. He was just lucky I didn’t crack my knuckles across his face. “Why would there be a problem?”

  “You tell me.”

  We stared at one another, waiting for the other to bend or break.

  It was almost always me.

  That’s why I was caught off guard when he softened and looked even remorseful. I didn’t understand why until he lifted his hand to thumb away a tear I didn’t realize had fallen. My cheeks heated, and I quickly looked away, feeling silly. Noticing my embarrassment, he quickly unbuckled my seat belt and pulled me from the car. After slamming the door, Wren pressed my back against it and forced me to look him in the eye as he caged me in.

  “Wren—” I started to protest, but he cut me off.

  “Sometimes I forget that letting me take care of you meant you’d be taking care of me, too.”

  I couldn’t do anything but hold back more tears. I didn’t even understand why I was so emotional. It wasn’t that big of a goddamn deal!

  He glanced down, noticing the roses I’d pick up from the corner store. “These are for me?” He freed them from my clutches without waiting for a response and sniffed them with a boyish smile. “I’m happy as fuck that you care about my birthday…even if I don’t.”

  I gasped. “So you do know it’s your birthday!” I know my surprise seemed ridiculous, but with Wren, I could never tell when he was bluffing. He had a damn good poker f
ace.

  He sighed. “Yeah, Lou.”

  “Why don’t you care?”

  He shrugged. “I just don’t. There doesn’t have to be a reason.”

  Refusing to let it go, I said, “But you make a big deal when it’s my birthday.”

  “Because I know you’d put bleach in my drinking water if I didn’t.”

  I couldn’t help snickering because he had me pegged. “I wouldn’t kill you. Just your car.”

  His head jerked back, and he looked more afraid for the hunk of metal than he did his own life. “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

  “I’d feed it candy bars,” I insisted with a straight face.

  The sound of a throat clearing interrupted his retort, and my entire body turned red this time when I saw a man standing a couple of feet away waiting to get inside his car. I didn’t even realize how close Wren and I were standing until now. Even though we weren’t touching, we couldn’t have looked like two platonic friends. To my immense mortification albeit secret delight, rather than stepping aside to let the man pass, Wren moved even closer. I gasped at the feel of his hard body pressing firmly against mine. It felt different than the brotherly hugs he’d given me in the past although I’m not sure he meant it to.

  The man mumbled his thanks before quickly hopping inside his car.

  I expected Wren to put space between us immediately. Instead, he patiently waited for the man to set up his GPS, adding to my torture. I couldn’t be sure with my brain short-circuiting, but it felt as though Wren had pressed even closer when the man began backing out of the parking spot. He was hard everywhere, and my body was yielding without much of a fight.

  I felt Wren’s heated gaze and wanted to avoid the challenge I knew I’d see in them, so I watched the taillights until they faded. Coincidentally, that was the moment Wren stopped holding me hostage.

  “We should go inside,” he said while checking his watch.

  I was busy staring at him like he’d grown a second head. How could he pretend that we hadn’t just crossed some line? That we hadn’t been crossing many of them all summer long?