The Moth and the Flame

by Reid, B. B.

  After eating my fill of leftover meatloaf, Four showed me to the guesthouse out by the pool before getting a call that made her swear colorfully and disappear. I was exploring the two-bedroom house that, even in all its extravagance, seemed like a hut in comparison to the mansion when I realized I didn’t have my bag or my camera.

  Retracing my steps, I followed the stone path back to the main house and through the double doors leading to the family room. Four, who had grown noticeably quiet while I ate, had been too distracted by whatever was going on in her head to give me a real tour, so I stopped and looked around.

  Surprisingly, it was your typical family room only twice as large. There was nothing gilded in gold or studded with diamonds. There was a large sectional that could fit an entire family and then some, a couple of comfy looking recliners, and the largest flat-screen TV I’d ever seen. Across the room, I spotted a huge fireplace. On the mantel above, framed photos sat on display. Deciding my bag could wait a few more minutes, I started across the room.

  I didn’t make it two steps before I heard my name. Wren stood in one of the doorways with Ever at his side, and I frowned as I paused to study them both. The two of them together tugged at my memory strings for some reason.

  “What are you doing?” Wren questioned while trying to keep the suspicion from his tone. He probably thought he’d just caught me in the middle of robbing them. Those silver picture frames had looked expensive though it never occurred to me to lift them. I’d been more interested in the memories.

  “Paula has my bag.”

  Wren silently lifted his hand, and I realized he had my bag and camera in both.

  “Paula?” Ever inquired.

  I sighed. Why couldn’t anyone just understand me so I didn’t have to explain?

  “My Impala,” Wren told him, and I shrugged. I thought it was rather clever, but if Ever thought so, too, he didn’t let on. I realized then that he was a bit of a prick. What the hell Four saw in him, I’ll probably never know.

  My gaze slid to Wren.

  Then again, maybe I already did.

  Ever told us his father left a few days ago to handle some crisis on the other side of the world and wouldn’t be back until morning. He then asked me where Four had gone, and when I lifted my shoulders, his expression became annoyed.

  “Do you think there’s trouble in paradise?” I asked Wren once we were alone.

  He gave me a warning look as he closed the distance between us. “Not our business.”

  “But I like them,” I admitted with finality. “And by them, I mean Four. Ever’s a dick, and Jamie’s a flirt.” I peeked up at him from under my lashes. “You should know that Jamie is going to try to get in my pants. He might even succeed.”

  The tick in Wren’s jaw was his only reaction.

  Feigning worry, I stepped even closer to him. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you, bestie?” Of course, he didn’t respond. “You shouldn’t,” I pressed. “All three of them are hot, which means their friends probably are, too.” I smiled up at him excitedly. “We could be each other’s wingman!”

  I felt his strong hand at my nape before I even realized he’d moved, and then he was kissing me. Immediately, I melted into him, excited to feel his lips again after three long weeks. His hand found my ass at the same time his tongue worked its way inside my mouth. I didn’t know there could be so much passion and heat in a single kiss, and I wanted more. I was practically climbing his body when he finally let me go. Opening my eyes, however, I wasn’t prepared for the coldness staring back at me.

  “Do what you want,” he told me quietly before he dropped my bag at my feet and left me standing alone.

  I WASN’T SURE HOW LONG I spent brooding on the couch, but the sun started setting a while ago, and Lou still hadn’t returned to the guesthouse. Only my bruised ego kept me from going up to the main house to drag her ass back. Just as I began to wonder if maybe she’d been crazy enough to leave, the door opened. I shot up from the couch ready to tear into her for making me worry, but I lost all the fight in me when I saw Ever, Jamie, and their friend who’d been with them in Times Square staring back at me.

  “He’s got the bluuuues!” Jamie sang, or rather howled, as he headed for the kitchen carrying a couple of six-packs in each hand. I ignored him and the need to bash his face in and regarded the other two.

  “We figured you could use some company,” Ever answered my questioning gaze.

  It was the last thing I wanted, but since I couldn’t ask him to leave his own house, I sat back down and didn’t say shit.

  The third in their trio with green eyes and impressive biceps flopped down next to me and said, “He forgot to mention that the girls are having a man-hating meeting, and the house is no longer safe for any of us.” He chuckled when I swore and held out his hand. “I’m Vaughn,” he supplied when I shook it.

  “Wren.”

  “Are you a Corona or a Bud man?” Jamie called from the kitchen. “The wrong answer might get you hazed.”

  “Then why do you have both?” I retorted.

  “Because it’s a trick question,” Ever told me as he handed me a can. “Jamie doesn’t give a shit who it comes from as long as it gets him wasted.”

  Jamie howled some more, and I wondered where the hell the off button was on him. I was in a foul fucking mood, and they were just making it worse.

  “So…do you want to talk about it?” Ever asked me. I was surprised by his offer but I didn’t let it show.

  “No.”

  “Why not?” Vaughn prodded before he blew out a breath. “It can’t be worse than any of our shit.”

  “Dude, he’s right,” Jamie piped in as he joined us with a beer in both hands. “His girl made him drive her over here so she could talk shit about him. He just stood there taking it like a chump.”

  “Shut up,” Vaughn growled at him, making Jamie cackle louder.

  “She’s upset with him,” Jamie continued, “because his daddy would never let him be with her. Oh, wait…Tyra doesn’t know that, does she, Vaughn? She really thinks you only want sex.” Vaughn’s mouth tightened as he looked away. “And Ever here has his hands full juggling two girlfriends.” Jamie tilted his head as his expression turned thoughtful. “Or is Four just your sideline?” Ever’s gaze was cutting when he glanced at his cousin, but he followed Vaughn’s lead and kept his mouth shut.

  I wondered how they thought to give me advice when they clearly didn’t know their asses from their elbows.

  “Lou thinks you’re a dick,” I told Ever. “If your woman is really up their airing your dirty laundry, don’t bet on Lou changing her mind anytime soon.”

  Ever’s eyes widened before he shook his head. “It’s amazing how fast girls band together when you fuck up,” he complained. “Four just met Lou a few hours ago.”

  “Yeah, well, look at us,” Vaughn pointed out.

  Ever waved his hand dismissively as he sank lower in his seat to brood.

  The room grew silent, and then I noticed they were all looking at me. Realizing that I was fighting a losing battle, I pushed air through my nose and said, “Lou wants me to fuck her, but… I can’t.” She might have even wanted to be more than friends. I ignored the longing stabbing my heart and waited for their reaction.

  The silence that followed didn’t last very long. “Because you think it will ruin your friendship?” Jamie asked. The humor was gone from his eyes and in its place, understanding, which I didn’t expect.

  Knowing it was the simplest answer, I nodded.

  “It’s a little late to worry about that when you’ve already caught feelings,” Ever snitched. “At this point, not fucking her is what’s ruining your friendship.”

  When I didn’t respond, Vaughn turned to me. “Do you want her?”

  “Yes,” I growled, and all three of them stared at me with matching perplexed expressions.

  “Then I don’t get it,” Jamie said as he scratched his head. “Were you out of condoms or
something?”

  “Shut up and drink your beer,” Ever told him. The look Jamie gave him had me tensing up. At any moment, I expected them to come to blows, and since they could both throw a mean punch, I knew it would be a bloody one.

  Fortunately, Vaughn spoke before that could happen. “There’s another reason you won’t touch her, isn’t there?”

  I nodded somberly unable to hide my guilt.

  “Look, I don’t know what you did,” Ever said, “but its always better if she hears it from you.”

  I gave him a skeptical look. “You think it will keep her from being angry?”

  They all started howling at the same time.

  “Fuck no!” Ever said, still laughing. At my grave expression, he quickly turned sober again. “But it will give you a chance.”

  “And if your thing with her is going to work,” Jamie said, “there can only be one alpha, and from what I heard up there, Little Lou Who is moonwalking all over you.”

  I knew that. Goddammit, I knew it, but there was a reason I’d always treaded carefully where Lou was concerned, and guilt had everything to do with it.

  “What would you prescribe, Dr. Phil?”

  Jamie shrugged. “A firm hand works wonders.”

  My scowl would have folded a lesser man, but Jamie didn’t so much as blink. “Are you telling me to hit her?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m suggesting you get your balls back from her, man.”

  Ever scratched his chin and grinned at me a little sheepishly. “He’s not wrong…a spanking now and then wouldn’t hurt.”

  I laughed because it had crossed my mind many times, but it required crossing a line that I’d backed away from too many times to count. “She’d probably enjoy it,” I muttered.

  “Yeah, but so will you,” Ever countered. “More, actually.”

  I lifted a brow. “Are you speaking from experience?”

  He sent me a sideways glance. “That’s private.”

  Vaughn sucked his teeth. “And you don’t think girls talk about that stuff?”

  Ever frowned at his friend. “Four wouldn’t…” He trailed off before staring off into the distance. Jamie and Vaughn both shared a looked before they started howling at Ever’s expense.

  “So are you going to go for it?” Vaughn asked me when they both settled down.

  “I don’t know…”

  Jamie shook his head in disappointment before shrugging and cracking open another beer. “Maybe Lou should keep your balls,” he muttered. And then he saluted me. “She certainly wears them better.”

  “Wren.”

  My eyes popped open, and my drunken gaze searched the room until I found a blurry version of Lou standing over me with her arms crossed. I could tell she was pissed, so I wracked my brain trying to remember what I’d done, but I honestly couldn’t remember anything before her calling my name.

  Stupidly, I grinned up at her. “Hey, Little Lou Who.”

  “What?” she questioned with a growl.

  “Little Lou Who. That’s what Jamie calls you.”

  I could see her glower clearly, even in my drunken state. “I don’t care what he calls me.”

  “You should. You want him to fuck you, ’member?” It was my turn to glare. Turns out, not even alcohol could erase that little tidbit. I heard a snort and then a chuckle and suddenly remembered that I hadn’t been drinking alone.

  Across the room, Ever was drunkenly grinning down at an annoyed Four while she tried to get him out the door. “Come on, princess,” he slurred. “I promise I’ll be quick.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Four retorted wryly. “And that’s exactly why I’m saying no.”

  She finally managed to get him out the door but not before I heard him asking if he could eat her out instead.

  I blinked, wishing I hadn’t heard that. I didn’t hear Four’s response, but I had a pretty good idea when Ever hung his head looking as if he’d just been told he couldn’t have his favorite toy. A moment later, I heard angry shouting on the other side of the spare bedroom. I recognized Vaughn’s voice, which was deeper, but I squinted my eyes trying to place the feminine voice.

  “That’s Tyra,” Lou explained. I couldn’t remember if I asked or not. “She’s going to miss her curfew since Vaughn’s too drunk to drive. They’re crashing here.”

  I nodded and then moaned when my head immediately swam. Won’t be doing that again.

  “Let’s go,” she told me authoritatively and then waited for me to get up. I sat back on the couch instead.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, grinning.

  She propped her hands on her hips impatiently. “To bed.”

  “Together?” I asked, making her nostrils flare. And was that hope in my tone? I waited for the usual guilt that followed, but none came. Maybe getting wasted was all I needed to do to have sex with Lou. I snorted. I was sure she’d appreciate that.

  “Yes,” she hissed. “Jamie is going to need the couch.”

  I frowned as I looked around. Spotting Jamie passed out on the floor just a few feet away, I regarded Lou again. “He looks pretty comfortable where is,” I slurred.

  “He might wake up,” she said.

  I stood until I was towering over her and grinned. “You just want to get in my pants.”

  I started reaching for my belt when she said, “No girl wants whiskey dick.” She turned away, and my hands fell when she started for the bedroom.

  “Actually, it was beer,” I corrected as I stumbled after her. “So if we do have sex, we’ll just call it beer bonging.”

  Her shoulders jerked, and even though her back was to me, I knew she was smiling. My stomach fluttered, and my throat felt clogged as the hole in my chest filled just a little. Unfortunately, the moment we entered the bedroom, I realized that it might have just been bile all along. I made it to the toilet just as I began to empty my stomach.

  I was vaguely aware of Lou rubbing my back as she sat beside me and cooed. Once finished, I collapsed on the cold tile and laid my head in her lap with a groan. She was warm, soft, and everything I didn’t deserve.

  “That’s what you get,” she scolded even as I felt her hands rubbing my hair soothingly. “You know you can’t hold your liquor.”

  “I needed liquid courage.”

  “For what?” she asked curiously as she continued running her fingers through my hair. Her anger from before had faded, but my heart pounded anyway.

  “I can’t tell you.”

  Lips twitching, she held in a smile. “Best friends tell each other everything.”

  I searched her gaze for the longest time, and then I swallowed hard. “I don’t want to be your best friend anymore.”

  She flinched, and I knew I’d hurt her. My lips parted to fix it, but I realized I had no idea how.

  “We need to get you into a bed,” she said quietly. She helped me stand only to buckle a little under my weight once I was on my feet.

  “I love you,” I mumbled as we stumbled into the bedroom.

  She sighed as we crossed the room and gently helped me into the bed. “I love you, too, bestie.”

  “No…” My eyes lowered the moment my head hit the pillow. “I love you,” I repeated. And then my eyes popped open again. It took a few seconds for them to focus and find her. “Ever said I had to tell you.”

  She blinked. I blinked. And then I passed out.

  My eyes were still closed when I ran my hand over the empty side of the bed where Lou should have been. The sheets were cool, telling me all I needed to know. Slowly, my eyes opened, and even slower, I rose until I was sitting on the side of the bed. I felt like shit, and it had little to do with my throbbing head.

  The bathroom was empty, too, when I wandered inside. I brushed my teeth and took a long shower, but afterward, I didn’t feel any better. My gut was telling me that I screwed up monumentally last night. If only I could remember why.

  I walked out of the bedroom and found Jamie still passed out exactly where we’
d left him on the floor. It was then that I remembered Lou putting me to bed after I puked my guts out…and the words I said to her after.

  I started for the door, hoping she was up at the main house when I spotted her lying on the couch. The pressure in my chest didn’t ease. In fact, it grew tighter the closer I got to her. She looked at peace as she slept, but when her eyes opened after I shook her, I knew that was a lie. Lou took one look at me, grimaced as if in agony, and turned away. I felt like a monster when she curled into herself.

  Three words. I ruined her in three words.

  I didn’t realize I was still kneeling, still staring, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jamie, who looked like he could barely hold himself up, jerked his head toward the door. Sighing, I followed him up to the main house, and he led me into the kitchen. Four and Ever were already there. Four sipped from a cup while gazing smugly at Ever, who looked miserable with his elbows planted on the island and his head cradled between his hands.

  “There’s fresh coffee,” Four offered when she noticed us enter.

  Ever didn’t bother to acknowledge our presence while Jamie kept going and disappeared from the kitchen.

  “Thanks.” I reached for the coffee pot while she hopped up and grabbed two mugs from one of the cabinets. She handed me one and set the other on the counter.

  “Where’s Lou?”

  “Still sleeping,” I told her as I poured. That wasn’t entirely true, and I had no idea how I was going to fix it. Just as I finished filling my mug a thought came to me, and I poured coffee into the second mug. Grabbing both, I turned and found Ever struggling to stand. For some reason, he drank more than any of us last night. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “Eventually,” Four answered with a roll of her eyes. “He’s just trying to make me feel bad for not putting out last night.” Taking his hand, she led him to the door. I was still watching them when Ever secretly grinned at me over his shoulder.

  Shaking my head and wondering if I was actually starting to like the little shit, I started back for the guesthouse. In the family room, something small and black rushed between my legs making me stumble. The coffee that spilled burned my hand, so I quickly set the mugs down on the mantel and wiped my hands on my jeans. There was movement in the corner of my eye, and when I looked over, I saw a small black, blue-eyed lab staring back at me with his tongue hanging from his mouth.