The Moth and the Flame

by Reid, B. B.

  “I’d rather die,” I said with a snarl at my former boss.

  “Oh, no, I won’t kill you. First, I’ll tell her what you did, and then she’ll be reunited with her parents after I have Shane here blow her brains out right in front of you. You, my dear boy, will live the rest of your life knowing she died hating you.”

  Lou’s head slowly turned to me, and her eyes welled at Fox’s words. “Dead?” Her voice quaked.

  “Yes, dear,” Fox confirmed, and then his head tilted as he regarded Lou. “Where did you think they were?”

  Paris.

  She thought her parents had run off to live there. A missing person’s report was filed, but no bodies were ever found, only two one-way tickets to Paris in Brian and Emily Valentine’s names.

  “Wren, what is he talking about?”

  “We’re all waiting, Wren, with bated breath,” Fox goaded. “Tell us how you single-handedly betrayed and ruined this oh-so-sweet and innocent girl.”

  The remaining part of my world that hadn’t crumbled away faded to dust at that moment. Lou’s face was an expression of horror as she stared at me through unfocused eyes—as if she didn’t see me at all. As if she were playing her parents’ murder in her head. Tears flowed down her cheeks and over her trembling lips in an unending stream.

  Seeing her gut-wrenching reaction to the truth, I knew it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d told her sooner. I’d done the unthinkable, the unforgivable. Lou and I were irrevocably through.

  “I’ll make a deal with you,” Fox said when I couldn’t find the courage to speak, to beg. “Leave now, without Wren, and I’ll give you a two-minute head start.”

  For a moment, hope flared when she didn’t immediately leave, but then that hoped died when she took one last look at me, a look full of betrayal and hatred, before turning away.

  I watched as Lou slowly walked away, and my heart tore a little more with each step she took. It didn’t even come close to being the pain I deserved. When she reached the edge of the trees, she looked over her shoulder, and I drank in the sight of her one last time.

  “Hey, Fox?” He turned back around at her request and frowned when she smiled. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

  She flicked something with her thumb, and the two-headed coin I never knew she had landed in the grass at his feet.

  Crow’s head up.

  By the time Fox and I looked back toward the trees, she’d already disappeared, and the silence she left behind was heavy…tense—the calm before the storm.

  In quick succession, the two men guarding me collapsed with one bullet to the head. By the time everyone had shaken off their surprise, they were already dropping like flies.

  The world seemed to spin out of control as I came to, and while the events—however long ago—were still fuzzy, I immediately sought her out. First with my hands, reaching out to feel her curled up at my side where she belonged. Coming up empty, I sniffed at the stale air void of honeysuckle, jasmine, and green apple. Finally, when I shivered, I pried my heavy lids open enough to search every corner and crevice of the cold motel room. It was similar to the one I’d found Lou in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

  When my blurred gaze landed on the corner diagonal to the bed I’d been tossed in, I stilled.

  Having instincts honed within an inch of paranoia’s reach, I spotted the aberration taking cover in the dark.

  “Who the fuck are you?”

  I didn’t receive an answer.

  Ripping away the sheet covering my waist, I jackknifed into a sitting position and immediately grunted from the pain slicing across my stomach. When the fuck did that happen?

  “Careful. I had to stitch you up myself, and I’m no seamstress.”

  My head whipped toward the sound—a voice that was familiar and impossible all at once. As the pain dulled, I peered into the seemingly empty corner, seeking out the source of the deep timbre.

  The shadows shifted, taking shape until a tall, bearded figure with sharp blue eyes cloaked in black from head to toe stepped into the sliver of moonlight peeking through the curtains. Taking in his height, broad shoulders, tapered waist, and sharp jaw were like looking in a mirror thirty years later. The only difference was the dimpled chin I knew was hiding underneath his beard.

  I’d somehow been granted the small mercy of not becoming my father’s complete clone and inheriting an ass for a chin.

  “Crow?” My voice shook, and I silently cursed the implied vulnerability.

  “Hi, son.”

  I felt my blood cool. He had no right claiming me. “You’re dead.”

  “Afraid not.” He hesitated, mulling over his next words. “Disappointed?”

  “Confused.”

  He seemed to deflate before my very eyes. “I’m sorry about that.”

  I scoffed at the notion of him regretting anything. My father was a selfish son-of-a-bitch. When he wasn’t murdering innocents, he was leaving a trail of broken hearts and tears in his wake. “Are you? You sure as fuck took your time coming back.”

  “It wasn’t that simple.”

  “It never is,” I forced through my teeth. My mind was already shifting gears, uninterested in Crow’s excuses, and wondering where the fuck was Lou. I needed to see her, to explain, to run to her so I could crawl, to fucking beg until my knees turned bloody. I only wished it would be that easy. I’d tried so hard to keep Lou from being hurt ever again, and in the end, I’d caused more pain than anyone.

  “How have you been?” Crow probed.

  “I’m still alive. Enough said.”

  “You almost died today, Wren. Say more,” he barked.

  “Like what?” I was surprised I didn’t chip a tooth with how hard I clenched them. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

  “I’m still your father.”

  The reminder only inflamed the rage uncoiling in my stomach. “You were never even close to being that.”

  In fact, he’d done me a favor when he left my mom to raise me alone. After her death, my grandparents were too terrified to fight him when he stole me from their home thinking I was safer with him. If it weren’t for the glaringly obvious, I would have never believed he was my father—mostly because he’d left me to figure it out for myself. Five years ago, Fox hadn’t dropped quite the bomb he intended. Instead, he’d only confirmed what I’d already suspected.

  “It was too dangerous to come back for you. Fox knew I was still alive. He kept you and Evelyn close to either flush me out or keep me at bay. The moment I came near you, he would have killed both of you.”

  I regarded him but just as quickly looked away, refusing the plea in his eyes for me to believe him. “He says you betrayed him.”

  The air around him seemed to darken. “You’d take the word of a man who would turn a son against his father?”

  “I sure as shit wouldn’t take the word of a father who abandoned his son to save his own skin.”

  “I was trying to protect you.”

  I scoffed, ignoring the pain as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “The first or the second time?”

  “Both.”

  I hid my wince as I shoved to my feet and came to stand toe-to-toe with the man who sired me. He was out of his mind if he thought I’d believe for a second that he cared about anyone other than himself. “There’s a reason you were born a predator, Pops. You wouldn’t have lasted long if you were prey.”

  Turning away after one last look of disgust, I patted my pockets for my phone and wallet before remembering that I’d left them both in the Crown Vic. I looked around wondering what the hell I was going to do now when I spotted them both waiting on the nightstand. My hand paused, however, when I noticed the Impala’s keys lying next to them.

  I’d left them behind in Blackwood Keep with Lou.

  Noticing where my attention had gone, Crow said, “She’s smart. She drove the Impala right into the heart of Fox’s territory and used it as some sort of bat signal.” I wanted to drive my elbow
into his face when he chuckled. “Luckily, I got to her before Fox’s men did. She’s got balls.”

  Risking Exiled finding her had been a chance she was willing to take…for me, all without knowing why I didn’t deserve it.

  “She didn’t try to save you alone,” Crow continued. “She left with them…after making sure you were safe. Bear was there, too. Helped me take those guys out.”

  I ignored his nervous rambling as I considered leaving the keys to the Impala behind. Since my father wasn’t as dead as I thought, the car technically still belonged to him. I snatched them up along with my wallet and phone. The car still wasn’t safe, but I had nothing left to lose.

  Spotting my shirt tossed over the back of a wooden chair, I pushed past my father to retrieve it. It was still torn and bloody, and suddenly, I remembered Jackal attempting to disembowel me to save himself. I shoved it over my head.

  “I have a clean shirt you can wear.”

  “I don’t need anything from you,” I shot back. I knew I sounded like a brat, ignoring what was practical, but I didn’t give a shit about that, either. I’d taken care of myself for five years, and I’d continue to do so.

  “Then why are you so angry?” he pressed.

  “Because I did need you!” I roared before I even knew what had come over me.

  For a moment, his shock mirrored mine. But then my chest began to heave, my hands balled into fists, and my nostrils flared. I was a flurry of emotions. He stood so very still. Long seconds passed, each of them a wave of control until I was once again drowning in it.

  “I did need you,” I repeated without the turbulence from a moment ago. “But I don’t anymore.”

  An eternity seemed to pass. The room became a bubble, bringing a solitude so silent that I swore I not only felt but heard my heart splintering right down the middle.

  Relief washed over me when I saw him deflate.

  “Then I won’t stop you from going.” His words sounded like the echo of a key turning inside a lock. The moment the catch released, I didn’t hesitate to make a break for the door. “But you should know,” he called out before I could step over the threshold, “I never left you, son, and I won’t leave you now, so if you ever do need me again, I won’t be far away.”

  I could feel his gaze, and even though he didn’t move an inch, I could feel him reaching out for me.

  I fled before I could reach back.

  ONE BY ONE, I PEELED away the fragile petals of Wren’s heart.

  He loves me not. He loves me forever.

  Best friends forever. Soul mates…never.

  When I got down to the very last petal, I sighed.

  He loves me.

  A week ago, I would have run to him, shown him the evidence, and gloated over owning his heart. I would have made him confess and promise me forever.

  A week ago, he hadn’t been the reason my parents were dead.

  I stared hopelessly at the flower petals littering the ground. Wren hadn’t tried to defend himself or make excuses. All of this time, he’d been carrying the guilt on his shoulders, and when the truth had come out, he’d laid it at my feet like an offering. His dishonor was now mine. To enforce …or forgive.

  Before I could decide Wren’s fate, a chorus of giggling that may as well have been nails on a chalkboard interrupted my brooding. Jamie and I were hanging out at the local park while Ever and Four were both at school. Jamie, who’d been a senior when he got kicked out of school in Ireland, had completed all the credits he needed to graduate. He only had to sit back and wait for the actual ceremony in June.

  A breath of fresh air was what Jamie called it when he pulled me out of bed this morning. I couldn’t remember leaving it before then.

  The shameful part of it all was knowing that it wasn’t the loss of my parents that made facing the world hard. For five years, I grieved losing them. The only thing I felt now was a twisted sense of closure.

  No, it was walking away from Wren that made me feel like I’d died, too.

  “Sorry, ladies,” Jamie said to the trio of girls twirling their hair around manicured fingers and flirting with their eyes. “I’m flattered, but I’m not interested.”

  My eyebrows rose as I looked over the group. They were attractive and willing, the only standards Jameson John Buchanan possessed, yet he was passing up the opportunity to sleep with them?

  Maybe there was hope for him yet.

  “Hmm,” the sole male member of their group mused aloud. He was a short Latino with the biggest brown eyes and mile-long lashes. “I’d say you were batting for my team, but my radar isn’t picking up anything.” His eyes then turned to slits as he studied Jamie.

  Jamie’s smile was wolfish as he said, “Why don’t you come closer? You might get a better reading.”

  One of the girls gasped, the second sighed, while the third rolled her eyes.

  “It’s always the hot ones,” the one with the attitude whispered.

  “Good for you, Matty!” another one cheered.

  I pursed my lips, knowing Jamie was full of shit, but I propped my elbow on my knee and rested my chin in my palm, more than curious to see how far he’d go.

  Matty shrugged and strutted over without an ounce of shame and his friends’ jaw dropped when Jamie leaned back on the bench and made room for him on his lap.

  “I’m Jamie,” he introduced once Matty was settled. Jamie looked perfectly relaxed, and I had to say I was surprised. Most guys treated homosexuality like it was a contagious disease. Even now, some of the men walking by scowled with distaste, but one look from Jamie had them scurrying away. “So?” he inquired after a few seconds passed.

  “I’m torn between integrity and my wildest fantasies,” Matty answered with a sigh.

  “Well?” one of his friends badgered. “Is he or isn’t he?”

  Matty ignored his friend and pouted over his shoulder at Jamie. “I’m afraid you’re as straight as an arrow.”

  “Darn,” Jamie replied with a grin.

  Matty asked Jamie for his phone, and after unlocking it, Jamie handed it over without hesitation. We all watched as Matty tapped at the screen before handing it back to Jamie. “Give me a call if you’re ever curious enough to bend that arrow a little.”

  Jamie’s only response was to wink, and with another sigh, Matty stood from his lap and walked away with an extra sway of his hips. His friends sent one last longing look at Jamie before rushing after him.

  “You really don’t give a shit, do you?” I asked him once Jamie’s giggling group of admirers were out of earshot.

  Jamie lit a cigarette and blew smoke in my face. “Why should I?”

  I didn’t answer him because I was too busy coughing, trying to clear the smoke from my lungs. “You’re dead inside, aren’t you?”

  “Not yet,” he said with a chuckle and then paused. “But if you’re offering to make me feel alive again, then totally.”

  I laughed, and even though it was genuine, it felt weird and wrong. I’d just found that my parents were dead and that my best friend was responsible. I didn’t think I’d ever laugh again.

  “Are you ready to talk about it?” Jamie asked when my laughter died.

  “You were there…what is there left to say?”

  After Evelyn broke the news that they had captured Wren, I hadn’t said a word. In fact, I didn’t react at all—which, in hindsight, was probably what gave me away. Later that night, I’d attempted to sneak away, to go after Wren alone, but Ever and Jamie had other plans. As soon as I’d reached the Impala, they emerged from the shadows where they’d been lying in wait.

  “Where you go, we go,” Ever proclaimed. “If he’s already dead and something happens to you, the fucker will haunt me the rest of my days.”

  “You tell me,” Jamie countered with a knowing look.

  “Are you asking me to share my feelings? Should I get the tissues?”

  He barked out a laugh. “You’re a dick, you know that?”

  I shrugged. “I m
ay have heard that a time or two.”

  “You know he’s not going to stay away,” Jamie warned.

  “It’s been a week, and he hasn’t come crawling.” I quickly flattened my lips when I realized I was pouting. “I think he knows better than that.”

  Jamie laughed as he blew smoke in the air. “I just saw you face down a monster with nothing but a wing and a prayer and win. I know you’re not that naïve.”

  I looked away so that he wouldn’t see my heart galloping in my eyes and stared down at my empty ring finger. I’d only worn it for a few days, but it had already left its mark. “He’s not going to come.”

  And even if he did, it wouldn’t change anything.

  Wren and I could never go back to a time when he didn’t kill my parents.

  The next evening, I wandered into the kitchen with Jamie by my side and found Ever glaring down at a small notebook as if it had personally offended him. Vaughn and Tyra were also there, but they seemed more interested in each other than their friend’s woes.

  Jamie let out a loud groan when his gaze landed on his cousin. “Dude, why don’t you just buy her diamond earrings for Christmas? Bitches love diamonds.”

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I took a subtle step away from Jamie. I still didn’t know Ever all that well, but he seemed like a no-nonsense kind of guy. I couldn’t chance getting an elbow to the face if they came to blows. Jamie was clearly baiting Ever and knowing the reason why only made me more curious. Anyone with eyes could see that Ever was irrevocably in love with Four. He didn’t see anyone else when she was in the room.

  I could tell by the way Vaughn and Tyra tensed that my assessment was spot on. However, Ever didn’t react. After only a withering glare, he returned to staring at his drawing. The bleakness I glimpsed in his eyes might have been the reason.

  In all my grief, I’d forgotten that Ever had just been reunited with his mother thanks to my treacherous, former best friend. The reunion couldn’t have been heartwarming considering Evelyn had found that her husband and son had both moved on with another family.

  Curious, I inched closer until I could see over his shoulder. Jamie, Vaughn, and Tyra had also moved forward.