In the Long Run

by Haley Cass

  Opening a new tab on her laptop, she pulled up Brooke’s Facebook. A little Facebook message to find out Brooke’s address. Maybe tease her a little over the note she’d left…

  Taylor hummed in excitement with the thought.

  Brooke’s profile picture wasn’t a selfie. Rather, it was a picture that had been snapped of her at some town function or other – Faircombe was rife with them, Taylor thought as she rolled her eyes. It often seemed like there was some sort of city event every damn week.

  Brooke’s hair that couldn’t just decide on a color with all of those varying shades was loose and she was grinning with just one side of her mouth, a little crinkle at the edges of her eyes that really showed she was enjoying herself. She was in a suit, something Taylor imagined Brooke wore to work. Something similar to what she’d worn to the conference.

  She looked good. Really good.

  Taylor didn’t regularly use Facebook and she could see that Brooke didn’t, either. There were mostly events for Faircombe that she shared from the Faircombe Four-One-One page.

  “Always a dedicated civil servant,” she murmured with a grin.

  Just as she hovered over the message option, her phone buzzed where it lay on the island and her sister’s face lit up the screen. Savannah was lifting a wine glass up in a cheers motion toward the camera, a beaming smile on her face.

  Taylor had taken it four years ago, when Savannah had joined her for a week in the South of France in the wake of her divorce. The actual moment of happiness that she’d captured from her baby sister after a really shitty time never failed to make Taylor feel a lightness in her chest.

  Spinning away from the laptop after giving Brooke’s picture another glance, she answered, “Hey, you.”

  “Oh, my good lord. Can it be? I caught you on the first call, no phone tag needed?” Savannah gasped, overdramatic, and Taylor laughed, shaking her head at the antics as if she didn’t love them.

  It had become a joke between them over the years. Taylor always got in contact when she wound up somewhere. Always. Neither her parents nor her sister went more than a couple of weeks without hearing from her, no matter where she was in the world. The issue at times was them getting a hold of her, depending on cell phone reception and internet service. Years ago, Savannah had made a game out of seeing how often she could actually get a hold of Taylor on the first try, no callbacks necessary.

  “All right, all right,” she spoke up, over her sister’s cheers. “You win, no need to gloat. I’ll send you five bucks.”

  “Where are you? Still state-side?” Savannah asked, and Taylor could hear her doing something in the background, likely in the kitchen. When her sister wasn’t working in the bakery, she was usually cooking or baking some delicious concoction at home.

  “Still in San Diego,” Taylor replied, using her big toe to swivel herself back and forth on the stool. “You know I’d tell you if I were going anywhere else.”

  She always shared the details of her travels with Savannah. Every time she returned from a trip, they settled in for their Virtual Girls Night, where they’d share updates and just talk about life in general. Love lives, work, their parents, Ben and his daughter Jo. Sometimes Jo joined in and would spend the evening at Savannah’s to join them.

  “Mm,” Savannah hummed, noncommittal, under her breath.

  Taylor narrowed her eyes at the sound, because that definitely wasn’t normal. Normally, Savannah loved jumping all over Taylor’s travel notebook, dictating places she’d heard of or looked up that she thought Taylor should try next.

  “Is everything all right with you?”

  Maybe she only physically saw her sister a couple of times a year, but having the majority of their relationship through the phone had given Taylor a distinctive leg-up in knowing all of the different cadences of her speech.

  Savannah scoffed. “Me? Of course, I’m fine. I’m good.” The amount of conviction in her tone was anything but convincing.

  “Riiight,” she dragged out, pursing her lips, before she sighed and shrugged. Taylor was a big believer in letting people come to terms with telling their truths in their own time. She also knew her sister could rarely hold in any secrets for a long period of time, especially not from her.

  “San Diego!” Savannah suddenly repeated, her voice notched louder, as if she was just remembering something. Taylor would give her credit – it sounded genuine and not like she was using a diversionary tactic. “You’re in San Diego!”

  In spite of the bit of concern in her stomach still, Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, you’ve known I’ve been here for weeks. Did you hit your head or something?”

  “No, of course not, that’s not – San Diego! Brooke was actually just there. Damn, I should have given her your number.” Savannah paused for a few seconds before she chuckled. “Then again, I doubt she would have taken it.”

  “Brooke was here, huh.” Taylor slid her eyes to the pants she was absentmindedly brushing her fingers over, eyebrows lifting as an uncontrollable smile took over her face. “You don’t say.”

  “Okay, now why do you sound like that?” Savannah demanded.

  The power of voice deduction apparently went both ways.

  “Like what?” Taylor attempted to sound as guileless as possible, but it was difficult when she was still grinning at the reminder of their fated coincidence of their meeting last week. She forced herself to shake her head and resolutely not picture Brooke as her eyes had met Taylor’s when she’d come. It was not the time.

  “Like, all – I don’t know. Like you’ve got a secret, that’s what it is.” Savannah snapped her fingers as she spoke with her a-ha! moment.

  “I don’t have a secret.” She denied.

  Brooke was the one with the secret.

  Taylor wouldn’t say their night together changed how she saw Brooke; she had always been attractive. She would say that she’d been surprised by the raw passion Brooke had when she managed to let go of the rigidity that was just a part of who she was.

  The way Brooke had looked at her when she’d fucked Taylor was pure want. And the way she reacted to Taylor, her body so entirely out of her own way… Taylor wasn’t lying when she’d told Brooke it was hot.

  Maybe one of the hottest things Taylor had ever experienced, period.

  “Liar,” Savannah stated, loftily. “J’accuse!”

  Taylor snorted. “Okay! I…” Her gaze fell to the pants in front of her again, and she deliberated her words as they came out slowly, “I actually, sort of, ran into Brooke when she was here.”

  “I bet Brooke loved that.” Her sister quipped, devious laughter in her voice.

  Taylor bit her lip as she thought of the look on Brooke’s face when she’d stared up at her after Taylor had made her come for the third time that night.

  A proud, sly grin tugged at the corners of her lips. It couldn’t be stopped. “She didn’t hate it.”

  “Really? What did you two do?” And now her tone was edged with utter doubt.

  “Um, well, we…” Shit. She knew Brooke wouldn’t want her spilling the truth. The if you were a stranger conversation covered that much, let alone the whole sneaking-out-in-the-morning thing. “We went to a bar.” She chose her words carefully, because she really wasn’t an accomplished liar.

  “What! You and Brooke Watson hung out together at a bar in San Diego? It’s maybe the last thing I can picture.”

  “Wait until I tell you about how I got her to rollerblade with me before we hit Legoland.”

  Savannah was dead silent for a few beats before she burst out into laughter. “That would be the day.”

  Taylor joined her, entirely too amused at the thought as she looked at Brooke’s profile picture again. She felt like she could so clearly see the huffed breath of exasperation Brooke would let out at the lie.

  “So, how long are you going to be in San Diego? Where are you jetting off to next?” There it was. That odd tone again.

  Taylor hummed in th
ought, curious concern landing in her stomach once again, even as she looked back down at her schedule.

  “I’m not sure about San Diego. I’ve been here for almost a month and most of my art has sold from the gallery. I don’t have anything planned until January. Antarctica,” she couldn’t help but add, tracing the tip of the pen cap over the date she’d be flying to Buenos Aires to start the long journey to the southernmost tip of the world. “Then New Zealand.”

  It might not be a fully planned year, but it was a year she was looking forward to. She could feel the excitement at the places she’d be seeing zip through her already. The wind in her soul was mostly calm for now but Taylor could already feel the restlessness in her nerves that told her she was going to need a new setting, soon.

  The fluttery restless feeling always came whenever she stayed anywhere for too long.

  “I knew about Antarctica, clearly. That’s the dream,” Savannah teased, letting out an exaggeratedly wistful sigh, before growing a little more somber. “I just meant, you know, what’s happening before that?”

  “Nothing concrete for a few months. I might head south, maybe take a trip through Peru and Bolivia on my way to Argentina,” she murmured, eyebrows furrowing as her mind started to run with the possibilities.

  It had been a while since she’d had a good trip into South America with no particular goal in mind. Trips with no destination were often some of her best ones. The ones where she found the most unexpected and most satisfying things, both about the location and herself.

  “Sounds like you have some good choices…” Savannah’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

  Taylor laid her pen down flat, attention off the map once again. “Why, you wanna come?” She only sort-of teased.

  Her sister snorted, “Come on.”

  Taylor grinned, warmth sliding through her at their easiness, as it did whenever she felt reflective.

  Because she was so glad they’d gotten to this point. Taylor had left home when her sister had been barely eleven, and even though she’d always loved Savannah as her baby sister, they hadn’t had a friendship. It just hadn’t been possible with that sort of age gap growing up. And in the years that went by through Savannah’s adolescence, Taylor visited occasionally and they maintained a good relationship, but it hadn’t been like this.

  No, this hadn’t happened until Savannah had graduated from college. When she’d excitedly called Taylor and announced that as a graduation gift to herself, she wanted to travel before she settled back into Faircombe when the summer was over.

  “You tell me where you want to go and I’ll make it happen,” she’d promised her sister at the time.

  She’d been both excited and nervous about the adventure. Before then, Taylor never had to look after anyone else, only herself. Making sure her sister had a good and safe time was an added responsibility.

  But Taylor had never really been one to hold on to worry. Her blog had just started to really take off, which gave her a lot more financial freedom to make sure she and Savannah wouldn’t stay in any of the less than reputable places she’d singularly stayed in at times. Then, they’d travelled across Europe together for three months. She’d loved showing her sister everything she’d already discovered and loved, and discovering new things with her.

  It might have been the best trip Taylor had ever had. Which was saying a lot.

  It had bonded them beyond sisters, launching them into a close friendship. In the fourteen years since, Savannah had joined her on shorter trips – a week or two – a handful of times, whenever Taylor could convince her.

  Which was always so fucking fun.

  Now that she thought about it, she sat up straight, excitement coursing through her.

  “No, you come on! We can go wherever you want. Every time we’ve talked lately, you’ve sounded a little anxious; you clearly need a break.”

  She expected some more teasing back and forth, regardless of whether or not Savannah would actually agree to go on a trip. But she was met with a still silence for a few beats before her sister spoke, her voice quiet, “I can’t.”

  All right. Taylor blew out an exasperated breath, leaning against the counter; she couldn’t put off this feeling again. “Sav, please. What’s going on?”

  “I, um, I’m just really trying to take it easy. Flitting around the world probably isn’t great for the baby.”

  It took a long moment for the news to sink in, before the words breathed a new life into her. Planning trips and weird tones forgotten, her stomach felt like a firework had lit up inside of it – in a good way – and Taylor hopped up from the stool, barely hearing as it clattered to the ground behind her.

  “You’re pregnant?!”

  “I’m pregnant!” Savannah matched her shout, the shocked glee in her tone superseding everything else.

  “How dare you make me wait this whole call, thinking something was wrong! You’re pregnant!” Taylor’s cheeks hurt from beaming so hard, but she couldn’t help it, and she wouldn’t if she could.

  Not when she knew what a difficult road it had been for her sister so far. How she and her ex-husband had tried for so long to get pregnant, that eventually all of the trials and errors had taken a fatal toll on their marriage.

  Wait.

  Everything came to an abrupt halt as the thoughts clicked into place and Taylor stilled, trepidation filling her.

  “Who’s the father? We… are happy about this, right?”

  Savannah was quiet for a few beats before she reluctantly spoke. “The father – well. You remember when I was in Denver last month?”

  Taylor’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “The douchey resort owner guy?”

  “I know!” Savannah let out a laughing groan. “I know. But, douchey or not, he’s been the only one I’ve been with in almost a year. One night with him with no expectations, after years of trying.”

  Taylor nodded and braced her hip against the counter, her eyes once again falling to the wool pants. Her own reminders from her one night were far smaller than the nine-month plus eighteen year human being Savannah now had. The errant thought made a scoffing, incredulous laugh fall from her lips.

  “What?” Savannah demanded at the sound.

  Taylor snapped her mouth shut; no way could she joke about her one night stand with Brooke.

  Savannah sighed. “No, don’t say it. I know it’s…” She trailed off, her tone torn between wondrous and disbelieving.

  “Are we happy about it?” She repeated quietly, before cautiously adding, “You sounded happy.”

  “I am,” Savannah sounded sure. “With Greg or not, douchey one night stand guy or not, I want this.”

  Taylor blew out a slow breath, before a bright smile stole over her face once more. “Then, all I need to say is that I can’t wait to be an aunt again.” She glimpsed back down to her calendar, trying to recall the dates her sister had gone on a short-lived week away. “How far along are you?”

  “Just six weeks,” Savannah’s joy was back in her voice, but tempered. Present, but laden with inescapable nerves. “I haven’t told anyone,” she confessed. “But I can’t tell Mom and Dad or Ben, yet. I can’t. Not until I’m at thirteen weeks. I’m telling you this as my best friend. My person.”

  “And as your person, I’m saying thank you for telling me.” Her grin softened with the mental image of Savannah finally getting the family she’d always wanted. It was so easy to picture, even if it wasn’t the way she’d planned. “God, I can’t believe it’s happening!” She drew a hand through her hair. “I’m going to be sending you all the positive vibes. When’s the baby shower? Are there other baby parties I’m not aware of? I’m going to put it right into my schedule now.”

  Perfect timing not to have a fully planned calendar, huh. And that was what Taylor often thought of as the universe all workinhg out in its own way.

  “Yeah…” Savannah trailed off, her tone getting weird again. “That’s, uh, kind of why I wanted to tell you, actuall
y.”

  “For positivity? I can definitely see why you’d call me instead of Ben,” she jabbed teasingly at their brother, trailing her pen over the calendar.

  Which made Savannah snort. “No. Well, yeah, true. But, I… Taylor, I’m scared,” she confessed, her voice quiet and it reminded Taylor of the time’s she’d been a little girl who’d wanted to sneak into her older sister’s room during a storm.

  Savannah barreled on, as if just able to voice thoughts that had been on her mind. “I’m happy, most of all, but I’m scared, too. Of just about everything!” Her tone turned desperate, the tendency toward panic that Savannah sometimes worked herself up into when stressed. “I really convinced myself that this was never gonna happen. I didn’t think it would!”

  “I know, honey. I know. But it is! It’s happening,” she spoke softly, soothingly.

  It seemed to work for about ten seconds, before Savannah groaned. “And now that it has, I’m advanced maternal age!”

  Taylor let out a laugh, incredulous and unstoppable. “Excuse you? What does that even mean? You’re thirty-six, Savannah. Not that I’m planning on it, but women my age are having babies these days.”

  “The doctors call it advanced age after thirty-five! I’m a geriatric pregnancy! I’m scared, Taylor,” Savannah repeated, her voice falling to a hush.

  And for all Taylor loved being anywhere at any given time, she would have given just about anything to hug her sister in that moment. “It’s going to be perfectly fine. You’re barely over the advanced age bullshit line, you’re in great health, and you are going to take such good care of yourself and my future niece, nephew, or genderfluid baby, that this is going to be a cakewalk. You know what you should try while you’re pregnant? Yoga. I can send over some really good instructional videos. You just wait and see.”

  Savannah let out a long, deep breath. Then another. “I knew you could help me calm down.” She cleared her throat. “Which is why I want to ask…”

  When she didn’t finish, Taylor double checked to make sure they were still connected. “Sav?”

  “Couldyoumaybecomehere?” Savannah pushed out in one breath, and it took Taylor a second to work out what she’d said.