Beck

by Jessie Cooke

  Of course, she’d made a crucial mistake with Bruf, one that she’d managed to avoid with every other man. The stars had just aligned that day, she supposed. She was ovulating, and the 99% effectiveness of the birth control and the condom just hadn’t been enough. She thought of their little girl often. Before the couple that she’d given her to came to take her, Beck had held her. The little girl had stared up at her with these huge, aqua-colored eyes that seemed to cover half her face, and Beck had been moved by that look. She wasn’t heartless, or emotionless...but it did take a lot to move her. Every year on her child’s birthday she bought a little cake and blew out the candles that corresponded with the year...the last one had twelve. She was almost a teenager. Beck wondered sometimes if that little girl ever thought about her, who she was and why she gave her away. She wondered if she hated her...she wondered if she even knew. Did her parents even tell her that she was adopted?

  The one thing Beck knew for sure was that she had done what she had to do at the time. Her life in the Navy would have meant the child’s life in the care of someone else all the time anyway. She knew her mother would have taken her...if she had known. But Sarah Golden had been through enough in her life. She’d lost the love of her life at a very young age. She’d raised a girl who acted more like a boy, at least when she wasn’t being promiscuous with them. Her mother was finally happy. Her life was finally peaceful and stable. Beck couldn’t hand her another child to shake it up. What if the kid was like me? That just wouldn’t have been fair.

  Beck had gone for ten years without thinking about ever looking for the kid...and then she heard something that changed her mind. The officer who, with his wife, had adopted her had been killed. He was on a base in Afghanistan that had been hit by a suicide bomber. She’d seen his name on a list...and suddenly she began to wonder if the little girl might need her. Of course, she still had a mother and that mother was probably a hundred times better at her job than Beck would ever be. But Beck knew what it was like to grow up without her dad and how hard she’d been on her own mother sometimes. She wondered if the little girl and her mother were close, or if she’d been a daddy’s girl. She wondered if meeting her would do the child more harm than good. Finally, she had settled on just finding her and getting a look. Maybe she just needed to make sure she was doing okay.

  She managed to snag a home address, thanks to a computer whiz on board her ship that really, really wanted to fuck her. Beck was planning on fucking him anyway, but the address was a bonus. It was three months before they got back stateside, six months since the captain had died. Beck used her time off to go to Idaho where they lived...only to find out that the house had been sold and no one in the neighborhood seemed to know where the mother and daughter had gone. She tried to tell herself it was a sign...but she didn’t believe in signs, so now she wasn’t sure what to do. She thought maybe she’d talk to Bruf and see what his thoughts were...but he seemed to be avoiding her.

  Beck’s heavy thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She jumped up and pulled her sweatpants on. “Wolf?”

  “Yeah.”

  She opened the door. It still freaked her out a little how much he looked like Coyote. “Hey. Come in.” She opened the door wider and let him come inside. She tried to get a read on what he was there to tell her from his face, but it was unreadable. She waved her arm at the desk chair and said, “Have a seat. You want a beer?” It was early, or late...but Beck wasn’t one to judge.

  “Nah, I’m good. Look...I haven’t had time to read all Coyote’s letters yet. But I didn’t think it was fair to make you wait out here for however long it took me to do that. So...”

  “Did you read any of them?”

  “I did. I read the first few.”

  “You need to read more. I can wait. I’ve got my Navy pension. I’m set for a while. I’m not going anywhere...”

  “Rebekah...you have to know that if I even suggested we patch in a woman that there would be anarchy...mutiny, even.”

  “You’re the president. You can do what you want.”

  He chuckled. “It’s easy to see that you took everything Coyote said to you to heart. This club, it’s not a dictatorship. We have an executive board and we have meetings with the entire club before any major decisions are made or rules are changed. Coyote was old school. He was schooled by Doc Marshall and I’m not sure how much you know about him...”

  “He was a god,” she said.

  Wolf laughed slightly again and shook his head. “No. He was a man who thought he was God most of the time. He was narcissistic, egotistical, selfish, and sometimes reckless. Coyote was a little less of all of the above, but he still had it in his head that the Westside Skulls was his club...and that’s not how it works. He lost a lot of friends, allies, and good men over the years with that attitude. Hell, he’s damned lucky he didn’t lose his life over it. I don’t run this club the way my father did. I know that I’m not God, and I’m not going to make decisions, especially one like this, without the majority vote from my brothers.”

  “So, are you going to put it to a vote?”

  He shook his head. Beck could feel the anger beginning to boil in the pit of her stomach. It was an old, familiar feeling. She didn’t have a fucking penis, so she wasn’t qualified. She bit it back...for now...but it was hard, especially when he said, “There’s no point, Rebekah. They’d never go for it. Besides the fact that I would have to consider what the old ladies would think of it as well. They’ve been locked out of our meetings for years. How would I explain to them, having a woman that was allowed to be involved in everything that goes on in this club when they’re not?”

  “It’s not the same. I’m not an old lady. I would be an asset to you, to the club.”

  “I’m not doubting that, Rebekah, but just like in the military, we have rules.”

  “Show me the bylaws. Show me where it says you have to have a penis and balls to be patched into the club.”

  Wolf’s neutral expression was slipping. He looked like he was about to get up and walk out. “The bylaws don’t say that. But this is one of those unwritten rules that we follow. There are too many reasons why we can’t have a woman in the club.”

  “Like what?”

  He shook his head. “I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure it out yourself.”

  “Because one of them might want to fuck me? Is that what you’re worried about? I might distract them? You think they’re not already distracted all the time anyway? You weren’t distracted when you first met your old lady? None of your guys were? I’d be an oddity at first, a fascination, I agree with you. But I’m really not a likable person, so once they get to know me, they’ll get over it. I saved your life yesterday, Wolf. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “Of course it does. I appreciate the hell out of what you did for me. But I can’t bring down my own club to thank you for it.” He stood up and put his hands in his pockets.

  “You’re making a mistake to not even give me a chance to show you what I can do. I’m not afraid of anything. I’m as loyal as hell, I’m smart...”

  He took a step to the door and she considered taking him down, just to prove to him she could do it. “I don’t doubt any of that, Rebekah, but my decision is final.”

  She let him open the door and start to step out before she said, “The decision you made all on your own, without your club? I thought this wasn’t a dictatorship.”

  “It’s not...but I know my brothers and there’s no point...”

  “I think you’re scared.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “If you weren’t scared, you’d at least give me a chance to prove to them that I can do this and then put it to a vote. Coyote would have at least done that much.”

  “Maybe you didn’t know Coyote as well as you thought you did.”

  “Maybe one of us didn’t,” she said, just as Wolf closed the door.

  11

  Wolf hung up the phone with Bruf and Blair said, �
��Is she okay?”

  “Yeah, he said she’s fine. They stopped the labor but they’re going to keep her there for another twenty-four hours to make sure.”

  “Did they say why she went into labor so early?”

  “Bruf said the doctor told her she was doing too much. When they send her home, she’s going to have to be on bed rest for a while.”

  “Damn. I tried to tell her yesterday. She’s so dead set on doing her part.” Blair sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. Wolf had only gotten about three hours of sleep and he wasn’t sure the coffee was going to be enough to kill the mood he was in. “Are you okay, baby?” Blair asked. “I’m sorry I was asleep when you got back this morning. Did the meeting with Rebekah go okay?” Wolf sat down across from his old lady. He had told Blair everything after the women confronted him in the kitchen, and he had shown her the letters. They had read the second two together and Blair had wanted to read more. She seemed fascinated with the idea of getting a look at a different side of Coyote Lee than she’d heard about since she met Wolf. Wolf was having mixed emotions about it. He knew it was stupid, but he felt slightly envious of Rebekah. Coyote hadn’t often talked to his son about how he felt about things. He issued a lot of orders and ultimatums throughout Wolf’s life and although Wolf hadn’t wanted a soft, overly emotional father, he would have liked some kind of happy medium. Reading just the first three letters made him think that was what Beck got from his father, and as strange as he knew it was, he had to admit, to himself at least, that it kind of pissed him off.

  After their talk, Wolf and Blair had talked about what it was that Beck wanted, and Blair had agreed with Wolf that it would never work. Blair wasn’t one of the old ladies that ever wanted to ride with them or be involved in the big stuff that went down. She’d always been happy with Wolf’s sharing things with her, privately, and sometimes bouncing ideas off her before he took them to church. But she knew there would be at least a handful of old ladies who would be incredibly pissed off if Beck were given that privilege and they weren’t. She also knew the guys well enough by this time to know the majority of them would not only be against it but fight to keep their brotherhood the way it had always been. She did try to talk Wolf into waiting until the sun came up to go and talk to Beck, but Wolf hadn’t been able to sleep anyway, so he had gone. This morning as he sipped his coffee, he was wondering if that had been a mistake. Beck had only driven home the point he was already mulling over...and that was perhaps he really hadn’t known his own father as well as he thought.

  “I guess,” he finally said in answer to Blair’s question. “She wasn’t happy and she insinuated that my father had bigger balls than me...again.”

  Blair smiled and when Wolf cocked an eyebrow at her she said, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not laughing at her saying that to you, but I guess I do find it amusing that you’re so bothered by that. I’ve never known you to need to measure the size of your balls up against anyone else’s before.”

  “I’ve never had anyone call me out on the size of them before,” he said, chuckling himself. “She is a piece of work for sure.”

  “I’d like to meet her,” Blair said.

  “Really? Why?”

  “She saved your life, for one. I’d like to thank her for that. And...she just sounds interesting. Maybe we can talk her into staying around and playing another role in the club.”

  “You didn’t see the determination in her eyes, baby. She’s not going to settle for anything less than a patch. Do you think it’s wrong of me to not bring this to church?”

  “Tell me why you’re not, and then I’ll decide.” Wolf smiled. God, he loved this woman. She was always on his side in public, but behind closed doors she had no problems telling me when she thought he was wrong. She was always classy about it, though, and he loved that.

  “Because they’ll laugh at me for even bringing it up. It’s just so ridiculous.” He watched as she bit down on her bottom lip and then he said, “You do think it’s ridiculous, right? Last night you agreed with me that this would never happen.”

  She nodded. “I did agree it would never happen. What I didn’t say was that I agreed with that. Not taking women is archaic as far as I’m concerned. If a woman can do all the things one of your guys can do...I think excluding her based on her gender is very 1950s.”

  “So you think I should let her in?”

  “No. I think that would be a mess. I love the way you’ve pioneered so many things where this club is concerned. I love the way you’ve made it legitimate and given all of us a reason to be proud to be a part of the Westside Skulls. But this...this is the kind of pioneering that’s going to get someone killed, or at the very least cause permanent damage to the club. I think women should be allowed in, but I don’t want you to be the first one to do that.”

  Wolf laughed and said, “And what if I feel the same way that you do? Does that make you think less of me?”

  “You think women should be allowed in?”

  “Maybe...but I’m not going to be the one to suggest it. Makes me sound spineless, doesn’t it?”

  “No, baby. You love this club and you don’t want to see it torn apart. As far as putting it to a vote, you’re probably right, the guys might think poorly of you for even considering it that much.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Fuck, what?”

  He grinned and said, “You if we have time...”

  Blair laughed. “Unfortunately, since we put the party off until today, I have a lot to do. I should have been over at the club already to help.” Wolf nodded. He had put off the party when he heard about Sabrina, but before he and Blair went to the hospital, Bruf had told them Sabrina was sleeping and finally comfortable, so there was no reason for them to come. Now that they knew she was going to be okay, the party for Nate was back on. “Now tell me what you really said fuck about.”

  “I don’t want to be the president that makes decisions based on what people, my brothers, might think of me.”

  “Then put it to a vote. You know how it will turn out anyway.”

  “Wolf wants to see you, now.” Beck had answered the door without asking who it was. She was surprised when she saw Jace and even more surprised when she realized Wolf had sent him to get her.

  “Why didn’t he just call?” Jace shrugged. Beck wondered if he’d volunteered to come and get her. Maybe he was horny too. “What does he want?” Jace shrugged again. “Well, aren’t you just a fountain of information? Come in, I have to change.”

  “I’ll wait out here.”

  She chuckled. “Scared you might see something you want?”

  “You’re pretty damned full of yourself, you know that?”

  “Yep. That’s because I never met a man that I couldn’t seduce, if I wanted to.”

  He rolled his eyes. She realized now that he was standing out in the sun that they weren’t as dark as she’d thought they were. They weren’t black like they often appeared. They were more of a smoky gray. She’d never seen eyes that color. She liked them. “Well, we don’t have time for you to seduce me now,” he said, sarcastically. “Wolf’s waiting.”

  She smiled. “The seduction is already done. All you have to do is come in this door and I’ll drop these pants and bend over. It’ll be quick.”

  “What makes you think I even want it?”

  Beck reached out and grabbed his hard cock through his jeans and smiled at his sharp intake of breath. “You want it. We won’t have time, though, if you waste any more pretending like you don’t.” That got the rise out of him that she was looking for. He pushed her physically back into the room and closed the door behind him. Beck was already stripping off her sweat pants and while she did that, Jace took off his boots and jeans. Beck smiled at him and licked her lips before walking over to the dresser and grasping onto it. She arched her back and pointed her ass in his direction. Jace stayed where he was and she saw him glance at the mirror she was facing. “You don’t like mirrors,” she said, wiggling he
r ass.

  “Some of us aren’t made for mirrors,” he said.

  “Whatever. I want to see you fuck me. I want to see your face.” She got the feeling from the way he looked at her that he’d never heard that before. Beck honestly didn’t care about his scars, or that he wasn’t classically attractive. There was something incredibly hot about him and she’d enjoyed seeing the lust in his eyes the last time they had sex. She liked the way he looked at her...that was hot. “Running out of time,” she said.

  Jace finally came over and stood behind her. He focused his eyes on her face where he probably couldn’t see his own and then he took her hips in his hands and without any more preamble, he thrust his cock into her pussy. Beck cried out and dug her fingers into the wooden dresser. Jace let one of his arms go around her waist and he used the other to brace himself against the dresser, and he started thrusting in and out of her. He felt so damned good. Beck had had a lot of cocks inside of her...but Jace’s seemed to fit better than any of the others had, for whatever reason. She moved her hips, pushing back into him each time he thrust forward. She was looking at his face in the mirror. He had his eyes closed and as he began to fuck her harder she said, “Jace, open your eyes.” He ignored her at first, so she said it again. Finally he opened them and she said, “Look at your face. Look how hot you look fucking me.” Her words seemed to enhance his excitement so as he fucked her even harder and reached up with the hand that was on the dresser and grabbed a breast. She kept talking. “Look at those eyes. You have sexy eyes. Seriously, come-fuck-me eyes. I like looking at your face, Jace. I like the way you look at me.” His eyes fell down to her face then and his big hand on her breast. He squeezed it harder and she squealed as she felt her nipple crushed against his palm and the rest of her breast squeezed in his hand like it was stuck in a vise. “Mm, yeah, Jace. You feel so good. Make me come, Jace. I need to come.”

  He gave her breast one last squeeze and then moved his hand down between her legs. He groaned and his eyes rolled back slightly when he felt how wet she was. He used his thumb and forefinger to find her clit and without missing a beat, rocking in and out of her, he began to massage, pinch, and pull at her clit. It felt insanely good and Beck closed her eyes because she didn’t want any other stimulation to ruin what she was feeling. She was gasping and panting and Jace was doing the same. He was slamming into her so hard then that her arms weren’t holding the dresser at bay any longer. Her body was going to be bruised from slamming into it over and over, but she didn’t care. It only added to the excitement, and it wasn’t long before she was already on the edge of a massive orgasm. She could barely find the breath to talk, especially when he leaned down and put his mouth on her shoulder and began to kiss and suck the flesh there.