The Daughter's Choice

by S. D. Robertson

  ‘You what? Am I supposed to be thankful for that? Don’t make me laugh and don’t waste your breath, you deceitful prick.’ Rose got to her feet, slid her engagement ring off her finger and hurled it at him with all of her might, hitting him on the forehead so he yelped in pain, hopefully causing a nasty bruise.

  ‘Goodbye, Ryan,’ she said, striding out of the room, heading for the front door. ‘And good riddance.’

  He called after her, spouting more meaningless words, but she’d already tuned out by that point. Thankfully, he was too busy nursing his head and looking for the ring to try to follow her.

  She kept her composure all the way to the car, getting in and driving it around the corner before pulling into a layby and finally letting herself go.

  She sobbed her heart out once again, her whole body shaking uncontrollably.

  It had been dreadful, having to face him like that, but at least she’d done it now and in a way that let her keep her dignity, not allowing him to see how much he’d truly hurt her. One thing she knew for sure: Ryan Thorne would never get the opportunity to shatter her heart again.

  Eventually, she managed to pull herself back together enough to make her way to Cara’s house.

  CHAPTER 40

  DAVE

  His heart skips a beat when Rose finally walks into the restaurant at 6.15 p.m. It’s been so incredibly hard not being able to see or talk to her this week. The fact she’s here now is a huge relief.

  He hasn’t had any direct contact with her, other than the odd text, since she stormed off last Saturday night, leaving him alone by the pond. He did briefly consider trying to fish her mobile out for her, but it was quite a large pond and he’d have had to wade right into the water. The chances of him finding it would have been minuscule.

  Luckily, Cara was able to furnish her with a spare. It was from this that she messaged Dave to say she’d called off the wedding, which was music to his ears. He offered to relieve Rose of the responsibility of cancelling everything. It was a big job, but he had plenty of assistance from Cassie, who was still in the area, as well as his mother, remotely while she was in Spain and in person once she flew in on Thursday.

  Deborah was initially angry that he hadn’t involved her in his decision to contact Cassie or the subsequent process of Rose learning the truth. Thankfully, she accepted his explanation that he’d deliberately kept her out of it to avoid harming her relationship with her granddaughter. She soon turned her fury on lying, cheating Ryan, relieved that Rose was no longer marrying him, while welcoming the fact that her granddaughter finally knew the truth about her mother. She was pretty cold with Cassie when they met but at least kept things civil.

  As for cancelling the wedding arrangements, Dave made sure Ryan and his parents did their part too.

  ‘Have you heard?’ he asked Kelly after phoning her on Monday morning.

  ‘Yes.’ Her voice wavered with emotion. ‘Oh, Dave, what a mess. Ryan’s been here since last night. He’s in bits, although from what he’s told me, he only has himself to blame. He’s my son – I’ll love him whatever – but he makes it bloody difficult sometimes. I feel like I should apologise for him. I honestly didn’t bring him up to behave that way. How’s poor Rose?’

  ‘Oh, you know,’ Dave fudged, not having an accurate answer. ‘As well as can be expected. I think she’s hoping to get away for a few days to clear her head.’

  ‘Tell her that Jeremy and I still love her to bits and we don’t blame her whatsoever for calling it off. I’d have done exactly the same in her position. Ryan’s an idiot – I’ve told him so myself. He doesn’t deserve her.’

  Dave obviously agreed, but he bit his tongue, seeing as how gracious Kelly was being. Instead, he moved the conversation on to the practicalities of what needed doing cancellation-wise.

  In the present, at the restaurant, he gets to his feet and waves at Rose, who’s talking to the man on reception.

  She looks pale and drawn, he thinks, as she walks over. He’s not sure how to play it in terms of greeting her, so he lets her take the lead. She gives him a brief peck on the cheek, which is better than he was expecting, although notably more formal than their usual tight squeeze. Next, she turns to her nana. Deborah jumps up out of her seat and takes the initiative, pulling her granddaughter into a bear hug and kissing her multiple times. ‘How are you, my love? You poor, poor thing – everything you’ve had to go through. Not to worry. Nana’s here now. We’ll get past all this, I promise.’

  All three of them have tears in their eyes when they sit down together at the table, Rose and Deborah on one side, with Dave opposite.

  A puzzled look appears on Rose’s gaunt face. ‘Is, um, Cassie not here yet?’

  Dave and his mother share a look before he answers. ‘It’s just going to be the three of us, I’m afraid. She really wanted to be here, having stayed in the area all week with the intention of seeing you again, but there was a family emergency in Ireland and she unexpectedly had to fly back this afternoon.’

  ‘Really?’ Rose sneers. ‘A family emergency like the one Cara got called away for last Saturday?’

  Dave tells her about the accident Cassie’s husband had several months ago, explaining that was why she hadn’t been able to come sooner. And then he adds: ‘He was making a really good recovery, which was why she was able to come now, but apparently last night he had another fall. Lost his footing on the stairs. Now he’s in hospital again.’

  ‘That’s awful,’ a shocked Rose replies. ‘Poor Ed. Is he going to be all right?’

  ‘I really don’t know, I’m afraid. Let’s hope so. The thing is, she really did want to see you again, love, to answer any questions you might have, if nothing else. But she had to go back, of course. She’s promised to contact you very soon. And she told me she’d love to hear from you, on your terms, if that’s what you want.’

  ‘I understand,’ Rose says, blushing.

  When Dave first reached out to Cassie, he was surprised to learn that she was married with four children. He hadn’t expected that. Married, maybe. But a mother? No, that threw him, considering her former determination not to be a parent. He felt a brief burst of resentment, although he reminded himself that a lot could change in two decades and he had no right to judge her. Discovering her children were adopted was another shock. Initially this made her change of heart about being a mum easier to accept. However, on reflection, it felt worse, as he wondered how she could bring up another woman’s children when she’d walked away from her own baby.

  He didn’t tell her any of these thoughts, though, even when she asked for time to consider her position regarding her birth daughter. He kept his feelings to himself and, thankfully, after she agreed to get on board with his plan to tell Rose the truth, Dave was able to move past them. He accepted that the troubled soul he’d once known as Catherine had found happiness and peace of mind – and that was a good thing, not only for her, but also potentially for Rose. It opened up a door that had long been locked shut.

  As for the strong romantic connection they’d once had, Dave respected the fact Cassie was married and clearly very much in love with Ed. Did he still find her attractive when they met again in person after so long? Yes, definitely, but he put that and their passionate past firmly to one side, for everyone’s sake, focusing his attention on their daughter. Besides, their love story had ended long ago: they’d been more friends than anything else by the time Rose had been born.

  They saw a lot of each other while Rose was up in the Lakes, and, honestly, it felt like catching up with an old pal.

  In between worrying and cancelling wedding arrangements, Dave has found the odd moment in recent days to consider what Rose said to him last Saturday night. She accused him of wanting to get back together with Cassie and not having moved on, as he ought to have done.

  Did her words, spoken in anger, contain any truth?

  Absolutely not, he thought initially.

  A week on, he’s starting to wonder. />
  When he first contacted Cassie, he certainly wasn’t expecting a romantic reunion. It was never about that. It was all about Rose. And yet what if a subconscious part of him hasn’t ever truly moved on from her? It could go some way towards explaining why he hasn’t found, or even really looked for, someone new. Why he’s been so picky. There’s been the odd dalliance over the years, which he’s kept well hidden from Rose, but nothing even approaching an actual relationship.

  Maybe that should change. Perhaps it’s finally time to put himself back out there.

  First things first. Rose remains his immediate priority. She’s going to need lots of support moving on with her life. To help provide that, he needs to heal the rift between them and, hopefully, win back her trust.

  Rose visibly relaxes once she knows Cassie isn’t joining them in the restaurant. On arrival, her body language – darting eyes, twitches, rigid posture – suggested she was incredibly tense. Now, in the familiar presence of only him and Deborah, she seems better able to unwind. Not totally, which is hardly surprising in the circumstances, but there’s a significant shift in mood. It reminds Dave of when someone changes out of formal wear into joggers and a sweatshirt.

  ‘I’m really glad to see you, Dimples,’ he says, daring to use his pet name for her, testing the waters.

  He’s rewarded with a flash of a smile followed by a brief knotting of her brow that feels playful rather than a genuine frown. This signal that their relationship might weather the storm comes as such an immense relief to him that he feels himself starting to tear up. He has to divert his thoughts to more practical matters to avoid breaking down.

  ‘What would you like to drink?’ he asks his daughter. ‘Nana and I are both on white wine, but you have whatever you want.’

  Later, once they’ve ordered food, Dave decides to address the elephant in the room.

  ‘Listen, Rose,’ he says. ‘To put it out there: your nana and I are happy to discuss anything you want to regarding Ryan, Cassie and so on. Whenever you want. But there’s no pressure at all. We can take things at whatever pace you like.’

  ‘Absolutely,’ Deborah chimes in. ‘We appreciate what an awful lot it is to take in and that you must have considerable anger and frustration to process, not least towards the pair of us. But we’re so glad you’re here now. Let’s keep communicating so we can find a way to repair what’s broken and move forward together. Your father and I are totally committed to that and to you. As long as it takes, love. We both adore you.’

  Rose doesn’t reply to either of them for what feels like forever. Instead, she stares blankly at the table before her, seemingly thinking. There’s a long gap before she says: ‘Can we not talk about any of it today? Can we just have a meal and chat about other stuff, as trivial as possible; pretend things are normal?’

  ‘Of course,’ a relieved Dave and Deborah reply in sync, looking at each other and smiling.

  There are some things that will need discussing very soon, however, Dave thinks, such as what they’re going to do about the honeymoon. He and Deborah were chatting about it before Rose arrived. They think it might be possible to change Ryan’s name on the tickets, for a fee. Maybe Rose could go with Cara instead, or someone else, if she prefers, assuming she still actually wants to go. He shelves the topic until tomorrow. There are still a few days to go.

  ‘How was the weather up in the Lakes?’ he asks instead, adhering to Rose’s wishes.

  ‘Not great. Typically British: drizzly and overcast. We had some lovely walks, though. Plus the guest house was brilliant. The breakfasts were to die for.’

  Later, as they’re all finishing the remnants of their main courses, Deborah winks at him before placing a hand on Rose’s wrist and saying: ‘You’ll never guess what your father told me earlier.’

  ‘What?’ Rose asks, turning to him. ‘Go on, tell me.’

  He’s a little embarrassed to say, partly wishing he’d not told his mother now, but he does so anyway. ‘It’s no big deal, but I got the urge to start writing again. I’ve barely made any headway yet and please don’t ask me to tell you anything about it, because it’s far too early in the process. But I have, er, started working on a new book.’

  ‘Seriously?’ she asks, a flash of her old self shining through as her tired eyes unexpectedly light up. ‘Where on earth did that come from? After all these years.’

  ‘Who knows? The desire, the inspiration if you like, it … just returned this week, out of nowhere. I got this idea in my head and, next thing I was rattling away on my computer into the early hours. It might yet fade away before I get anywhere with it. But yeah, for now at least, I’m writing again and it feels good.’

  It’s not until the meal is over and the three of them are walking to the car park that Dave dares to ask Rose where she’s staying tonight.

  ‘I’m going back to Cara’s,’ she says. ‘For now.’

  He does his utmost to hide his disappointment. ‘Sure. No problem. I understand.’

  Rose narrows her eyes. ‘I could be persuaded to come over for brunch tomorrow if Nana happened to be making some of her special pancakes.’

  ‘I think that could be arranged,’ Deborah says, throwing a discreet wink in her son’s direction.

  A look of panic appears on Rose’s face. ‘There won’t be anything at the house – in the garden or whatever – to remind me of, you know, the wedding, will there?’

  ‘Absolutely not,’ Dave replies. ‘I promise.’

  She breathes a sigh of relief. ‘Okay. What time?’

  ‘Half eleven?’ Dave asks, eyes darting between Rose and Deborah, who both nod.

  ‘Sounds good. I’ll see you then,’ Rose says.

  He doesn’t get a hug goodbye.

  CHAPTER 41

  ROSE

  From: Cassie Doyle

  To: Rose Hughes

  Subject: So sorry

  Hi Rose,

  I hope you don’t mind me emailing you. I had to let you know how unbelievably sorry I am for not being there with you this evening. I assume your dad has already explained what happened – Ed’s original accident and now this second fall. He promised to tell you.

  I really hope you understand. I’d never have left early under normal circumstances. I was desperate to see you again. That’s the whole reason I stayed in Lancashire as long as I did, although I must admit, while you were in the Lakes, I used the opportunity to visit some old haunts and bury a few demons after all these years.

  I’m writing this on the plane to Dublin. It should send as soon as we land and my phone gets a signal again, all being well. Before I forget, I’m so sorry that things haven’t worked out between you and Ryan. I know how much you were looking forward to getting married. Your eyes sparkled when you talked about it, just as they did when you spoke about him. But I don’t doubt for a second that you made the right decision to call it off. How could you not? He wasn’t worthy of you, end of story. Better you found out now rather than later. And trust me when I say that you’ll find someone else eventually – someone better – who’ll give you all the happiness you deserve. You’re still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you!

  I’ll be honest, I’m struggling to know what to say to you now, Rose. My brain’s a bit mushed. I’m terribly anxious about Ed, although thankfully, from what I’m being told, it looks so far like there’ll be a setback in his recovery but no scary new complications. Fingers crossed! He was at least wearing his back brace when he slipped, affording him some level of protection, and he was only a few stairs up from the bottom.

  Anyway, I digress. I want to apologise to you, Rose, for so many things: particularly for not being there when you grew up and for making your father, grandmother and so on lie to you and tell you I was dead. My actions have had a huge impact on your life, which I sincerely regret. At the time, I believed I was acting in everyone’s best interests, but knowing what I do now, it was stupid. I was young and naive. I was miles and miles away from finding myself an
d becoming the person I am today.

  I feel guilty for misleading you last Saturday – for not being upfront about who I was. Why did I do that? Selfishness, partly. I wanted you to get to know me as the woman I am today. I wanted the chance to tell you about the long, winding path I trod to get here. I hoped it might eventually stop you from hating me quite so much, which sounds awful now I put it down in words. But it wasn’t only about that, Rose. I hoped that in knowing my story, you’d understand my leaving you as a baby had nothing whatsoever to do with you and everything to do with me. I can live with you hating me. It’s what I deserve. But please don’t allow any of this to knock your self-confidence, especially in light of Ryan’s misdeeds. You’re an incredible young woman and you deserve so much more.

  Now we’ve met each other, I’d love to be a part of your life, however big or small – but only if that’s what you want. Once things are, hopefully, on track again with Ed and his back, I’d be delighted to return to England to see you. You’d also be incredibly welcome to come and visit us here in Ireland. Rory, Niall, Niamh and Shauna would absolutely love to meet you, I’m sure, as would Ed. But no pressure, no rush. It’s all entirely up to you, Rose. If you’d prefer never to see or hear from me again, that would be a shame, but I’d understand and respect that decision.

  I must mention your father. Most guys in their early twenties would run a mile at the mere thought of bringing up a child alone. Not your dad. He’s a special man, he really is; he’s done such a wonderful job of raising you. Try to focus on that rather than the lie I made him tell, if you’re struggling to forgive him. He loves you so much. You know he’d do anything for you.

  I found you a real ray of sunshine to meet, Rose. I’ll always treasure spending that day together in your warm company. You’re such a kind, thoughtful, intelligent person – so much more than I ever was at your age. You have a bright future ahead, whatever you choose to do next. I know this for certain.