Later. Once Loki had his home finished and a quiet space to find some inner peace, Bard would set about wooing him in earnest. For now, it was enough that the boy cared about and wanted him. Bard could be patient, had been for a while, and would continue to be so. Loki was worth the wait.
“I need more time to sort things out for myself,” the omega confessed in a soft, sleepy voice.
Bard dared to bend down to give the boy a kiss on his head, ignoring the stab of pain the movement caused in his own. Loki was worth any amount of discomfort, as well. “It’s okay. Take all the time you need. Know that I’m here for you, always, no matter what you decide.”
And with that vow made, Bard allowed his body and mind to relax.
Chapter Eight
Loki stood, nervously raking his fingers through his unbound hair. This was his first pack run with the Rogues. He’d skipped the previous ones out of contrariness, and Lorcan hadn’t demanded full attendance at the time. The alpha had made it clear that this was supposed to be a fun experience for everyone involved, not a chore. Loki had turned his nose up and insisted that he didn’t care and had spent the time hanging with the pups watching a movie in the longhouse. Missing the runs hadn’t made Loki happy, so he’d only hurt himself in the end. And it had only reinforced the notion that he was too young to make his own decisions.
This time would be different, however. There was no denying he was all grown up and it was easy to use his pregnant state as a reason why he’d decided pack runs were a good thing. But it was also the reason why he was anxious. This would be the first time that he shifted while breeding and he wasn’t sure how it would feel. In theory, he knew that there was no reason to worry. Shifting was natural to him and the embryonic pup would be just as safe inside his wolf form as his human one. He still couldn’t keep his nerves in check.
“It’s going to be fine.” Seth sidled up to him and gave him an encouraging smile. “I know it can be a little weird shifting while in whelp. I felt the same way myself. Everyone does, I think. There’s nothing different about it, though. It’s all in your head.”
“It is?” Loki tried not to sound skeptical. “I mean, I know it is. My head does, anyway,” he clarified, tugging on a hank of hair. “It’s the rest of me that seems to be having trouble. My wolf is getting twitchy.”
Seth threw an arm around him and pulled him in for a quick hug. “The alpha will start soon, then you’ll see how wonderful it is. It’s such a stress reliever and with the pups in good hands, I’m free to let loose for a little while.”
Loki marveled at how easily Seth acknowledged that his boys would be under someone else’s watchful eye. Sure, the nanny sigmas had volunteered for the job, rotating with each run to give the omegas and other parents a chance to have an unfettered good time. And, they were reliable pack members who would keep the pups entertained in the great room. Still, Loki didn’t know if he would be quite so casual about it all once he was a father.
“It’s not easy.” Seth chuckled. “It’s only for a couple of hours, and yet it’s hard to let them out of my sight for so long. That’s the human in me talking. My wolf knows better. Once I’ve shifted, I’ll be okay. You will, too. I promise, even after you’ve become a father.”
Loki gave the omega a shy smile. “Are my feelings that obvious?”
Seth pressed his head against Loki’s. “I’ve been where you are, that’s all. It’s hard to trust, too, isn’t it?”
Seth nodded before Loki could answer. “Yeah, I’ve been there. But with our alpha and betas leading and our gammas covering us from behind, we’re as safe was we can be. We can rely on them.”
Ours. Seth spoke of the pack in such possessive terms. It seemed foreign to Loki, although not as much as before.
Glancing over his shoulder, he caught sight of Bard milling with those of the other gammas who weren’t on guard duty. They’d seen a lot of each other since the fall, although not in any situation nearly as intimate as the night in the communal men’s room when Loki had stayed by the gamma’s side. They hadn’t spoken anymore about mating or any future they might have together. Bard was being considerate in not pressuring Loki. In all ways that counted, the man made the perfect mate. Why was it so hard to simply accept him?
Maybe a good romp in the clear night air would help sort the muddle inside his head.
There was no more time for self-reflection. Silence covered the group at the arrival of the alpha. He was truly a magnificent man, his virility on full display. There was no surprise that he’d managed to trip so many omegas quickly into heat. A few sigma females were also breeding after a winter of plenty to eat and no stress. By the next winter, there’d be pups arriving in abundance, his own included.
Lorcan stopped at the head of the loose group with his betas by his side. Unlike Loki’s sire, he gave no speech about how great he was or how lucky the pack was. His pride didn’t require that kind of promotion. Instead, he simply changed. His human form transformed into a wolf with a grace and speed that left Loki breathless. It gave him a sense of safety and belonging that he wasn’t sure he’d ever truly felt before.
The betas, excluding Griffin who must have been running the perimeter, went next with almost equal impressiveness. The servient pack members followed in kind, one by one. Next to him, Seth made his shift and pranced sideways with obvious glee. It was time for Loki to do the same. He couldn’t resist, though, looking back before he did. There was Bard standing beside Carr. To some, the two white gamma wolves looked very much the same. In truth, even to Loki’s arctic-born eyes, they were enough alike to be blood brothers, instead of only spiritual ones. But he had no trouble spotting which was Bard. Loki’s gaze homed in on him without effort.
Once more, his breath caught. This time, however, it wasn’t merely a servient shifter in awe of a dominant one. This was more. There was no running from it anymore. Seeing Bard’s wolf excited Loki’s far more than the prospect of an imminent shift. His wolf yipped inside his head with delight, then howled more forcefully. It was as if he were trying to call to Bard like a mate. No, not like. That was exactly what his wolf was doing. If not for Loki’s stubbornness, his wolf would be communicating with Bard’s right now as the pack got ready to run.
Loki needed to resolve this issue—soon. He was finally ready to turn his life completely around and accept that which he’d fought for so long. He could do it. He had to. His pup needed a sire, and Loki wanted a mate. Not just any mate, he wanted Bard. Tonight, he’d run off the last of his resentment and longing for a life that was gone forever. When he was done, he would be ready to move on and accept the life he had, not the one he’d been bred and raised to expect.
With the last of his indecision gone, he relaxed and let his wolf take over. The shift was easy, painless other than a brief dizziness at the quickness of it. He stood on four legs with his tongue lolling and waiting impatiently with his pack mates for the alpha’s signal to run. In this state, he could somehow feel a bit of his pup. It was a mere tickle deep inside and below his belly. It made him happy to know for certain that he wasn’t alone anymore. He had his pup and soon he’d have his mate.
Then there was no more time for even wolfie thoughts. Lorcan threw back his head and let out a long, deep howl. The sound captured everyone’s attention, and made the hair on Loki’s back ruffle up with excitement. When the alpha headed for the woods, the pack followed without hesitation.
The dominants didn’t just take off at a fast run and expect the others to follow. They loped at a speed that probably chafed their instincts, but allowed the smaller pack members like Loki to keep up with ease.
The moon showed big and bright enough to penetrate the canopy even deep inside the woods. Loki had no trouble following the others and keeping to the proper formation. The occasional yip and howl sounded throughout the pack. He let out a few himself, his happiness unfettered for the first time in years.
As he winded around the trees, he stuck his nose to the ground to sn
iff out what there was. He knew most of the scents, having played this game before when Bard had taken him for runs. Being out at night was different, though—different smells, different sounds, things that he’d never had a chance to explore while he’d been feral. Destin had kept him in tree hollows and caves as much as possible for protection. Running for fun hadn’t been allowed, especially at night. The others hadn’t fared much better, always on the hunt for food to feed him first, always first.
The memory caused the human part of him to think of Bard. He slowed his movements enough to look back. The gammas were ranged behind the straggling servient pack members, as they should be, keeping everyone moving while watching for danger. The sight of Bard made him that much happier. His wolf had made up his mind about the gamma.
A very young sigma female veered off in search of some nighttime creature. Bard changed direction to intersect her and gently nudge her back in line. Not wanting to distract anyone, Loki looked away and picked up his pace. The alpha was leading them deep into the woods and toward the end of the pack lands. He took them on a circuitous route, twisting this way and that around the tall, dark trees. Loki kept one eye on the pack members ahead of him even as he buried his nose in the thick ground cover, rife with all manner of interesting scents.
He caught a whiff of a muskrat, something he hadn’t seen in a long while. He chased the creature’s trail after a quick glance confirmed that the pack was heading around the curve of trees where it led him anyway. A short time later, he detected a familiar and enticing scent. It was the pool of water with the short fall feeding it from the mountain spring. The alpha was taking them to get a drink, which Loki needed, but more, that was where Bard had taken him. And it was the spot where the gamma had finally showed how much he wanted Loki.
Pulling his nose out of the ground, he looked up with a joy that was short-lived. He realized with a fast scan of his surroundings that he was alone. The rest of the pack hadn’t come this way, after all. He whined in distress at his mistake. He’d somehow missed the direction they’d turned. Worse, he wasn’t truly alone, either. Right in front of him, drinking from the pool, was a large black bear—a boar, and he caught Loki’s scent a second later.
Loki’s human mind knew that black bears weren’t particularly aggressive, but in his breeding state, he couldn’t hold back his fright. It didn’t help when the bear chuffed and took a step toward him. Bracing his legs, Loki growled and bared his teeth. His reaction only inflamed the creature. The bear made a rumbling sound in the back of his throat as he approached Loki with lumbering, yet sure, steps. Loki backed up and repeated his aggressive warnings. It was ridiculous to think he could scare the big creature away, but fear for the tiny life growing inside him made him stupidly bold. He also didn’t know what else to do. He stood no chance of outrunning the bear, yet what choice did he have?
Bard!
He screamed the gamma’s name in his head, then howled out for his help in the next instant because he didn’t have a mate’s connection. He only had his voice.
Relief washed over him when Bard streaked by. The gamma didn’t waste time warning the bear back. No, he ran headlong at the beast and attacked.
For a few agonizing moments, the fight became a frenzy of noise and a ball of movement. The litter on the forest floor kicked up into dusty clouds. Fur, then blood, flew away from the tangle of bodies. When the bear and wolf parted, streaks of red were visible on Bard’s white back. The sight made Loki howl once more, this time in grief.
Crouching, Bard inched back while circling to keep himself between Loki and the danger that threatened them both. The bear was no cub. He was a match for Bard’s large frame, although beefier. And, the boar was at his most aggressive time of the year given that it was mating season and he was in search of a sow he could breed.
The bear reared up, then charged. Before he could reach Bard, however, another wolf raced into the clearing and launched himself at the creature. He landed on the bear’s back and sunk his teeth in. Growling with rage, the bear twisted and heaved. He batted against a nearby tree, trapping his attacker between him and the thick trunk. Nevertheless, the wolf clung to his adversary, slashing with his back claws.
Bard tossed back his head and let out a long, warning howl before rejoining the fight. He attacked the bear from underneath, snapping at his throat. One of the bear’s front paws swatted him away. More bright red bloomed on Bard’s coat, this time across his chest. The gamma landed on his side and skidded a few feet before regaining his footing.
Loki whimpered and whined and paced. He wanted to do something, anything, to help Bard and who he now recognized as Griffin getting pummeled by the bear. He was so small and the life growing inside him even more so. There was nothing he could do, and yet, his human mind kept reminding him over and over...my fault, my fault.
Bard scrambled back toward the bear that continued to beat a tenacious Griffin against the tree trunk. Loki leaped forward to help by distracting the bear, desperation making him stupidly bold. Before he could enter the fight, however, two more wolves streaked past him. Lorcan and Destin leaped at the bear in unison, knocking him over. Griffin tumbled off and rolled away. In a split second, Bard changed course to put himself between his fallen pack member and the three-way brawl now happening.
It didn’t last long. Out-numbered and hurt, the bear broke free and ran off. Lorcan and Destin snarled and lashed at his heels until all three were out of sight.
Bard shifted into human form, the process made painful because of his injuries. He ignored the discomfort, as well as the itchy trickle of blood down his back and chest, and tried to stand. He fell flat, more worn out by his battle with the bear than he’d realized. He had to crawl the last couple of feet to reach Griffin’s still form. The debris of the forest floor pricked his sensitive human skin. He would have done better staying in wolf form, but he needed his fingers and higher brain to assess the beta’s condition.
Even as he reached the guy, however, a more urgent worry took his attention. He whipped his head around to see a shifted Loki standing nearby. Bard’s fear relaxed significantly seeing that the omega was safe. No matter what, the boy’s welfare was paramount. That was true despite the fact that Bard was furious at him.
He turned back to Griffin and laid a hand gently on the beta’s heaving side. Patches of fur had been scraped away by tree bark and the skin beneath was dotted with blood. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. Bard was no healer, but he could tell by the uneven breaths Griffin took that he’d been hurt inside. Broken ribs, most likely, and maybe worse. He couldn’t ask Griffin because the beta remained in wolf form, obviously unconscious.
This beta had saved Bard’s life and Loki’s, as well, which meant Bard’s pup was also alive because of Griffin’s sacrifice. The beta had barely been accepted into the pack and he might have already showed his devotion in the most profound way possible. Struggling to his knees, Bard ran his fingers lightly down the beta’s head, trying to give his pack brother some comfort. A sense of helplessness washed over him and for a moment, his world tilted from lightheadedness. Once his world settled, he whipped his head around to glare at Loki.
“Why? Why did you run away? I thought…” His voice broke for a moment. “I thought you’d accepted your fate. Did you plan this all along, pretending to settle down and waiting for the next pack run to make your escape?”
Loki blinked back at him with wide eyes. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he said, “I didn’t. I wasn’t…”
Whatever else the omega might have said was cut off by the sound of paws crashing through the undergrowth. Bard whirled around again, preparing to shift and fight once more. The arrival of Lorcan and Destin made him sag with relief. The two wolves shifted as they approached, taking the last few feet on human legs. They both crouched down on the other side of Griffin.
“He lives?” Lorcan asked, peering at his pack member.
“Yes,” Bard replied, “although as you can se
e, he’s badly injured. He hasn’t opened his eyes.”
“We need Andrea,” Destin chimed in. “And, a travois to bring him back to the longhouse.” He stood and glanced at Bard. “Make that two.”
“I can walk,” Bard replied.
“Yeah, right,” Destin retorted with a toss of his head. “With your permission, Alpha, I’ll fetch the healer and send her this way with an escort.”
Lorcan nodded. “Yes, do that, then get the pack back to the compound. I doubt the bear will return, but I’m taking no chances.”
“Yes, sir.” Destin looked over at Loki. “Shift!”
Bard tried to stand. “I should see to him.” Another wave of dizziness sent him to his knees.
Lorcan reached out to steady him by his shoulder. “Stay still. Do you not know how injured you are, too?”
Bard looked down at his chest. The claw marks ran deep enough that they still oozed blood. The pain of those on his back became known to him now that his adrenaline was lowering. He shivered once violently before doubling over. His forehead pressed against the ground.
“Loki,” he gasped out.
“He’s fine,” Lorcan assured him. “Destin will protect him. You know that. And, that pup Loki carries needs a sire as much as a father. Let’s make sure it has both.”
Bard nodded, then gasped again as a stab of pain overtook him. He knew the alpha was right. He understood, too, that Loki was in good hands—paws. Whatever. The omega was safe. That was all that mattered. Still, he turned his head to see for himself. The boy trotted ahead of Destin back to where the pack had congregated once they’d all heard Loki’s cry. That sound and the sudden realization that the boy was missing had made Bard’s blood run cold.
I should have kept a better eye on him.
Even as he chastised himself, Bard knew that he couldn’t have done so. He’d been responsible for keeping track of all of the servients, not only the one he loved. Bard’s moment of distraction with another pack member was all that it had taken for Loki to slip away. Damn it all! Bard had truly believed that Loki was ready to settle down.
Omega Lost (The Rogue Pack Book 7) Page 14
