Broken Promises

by Kelly Elliott

  Walker moved his hand to my breast. My breathing picked up as my chest heaved. When his finger touched my skin, I gasped. He moved his finger along the edge of my bra as he watched my chest rise and fall with each breath. I was beginning to feel weak in the knees, so I grabbed onto his arms. He quickly met my gaze. I’d never in my life felt the feelings that were pulsing through my body. I was desperate for him. Desperate for his kiss, his touch—anything he was willing to give me.

  Walker slid his hands down and unbuttoned my jean shorts. I swallowed hard as he squatted down to push them from my hips and down my legs. I held onto his shoulders as I stepped out of the shorts. Walker looked up at me and the ache in my abdomen grew stronger. He slowly ran his hand up my leg as he stood up. Everywhere he touched left a burning trail. I closed my eyes, praying that this moment wouldn’t end any time soon.

  Walker stood before me, his eyes searching my face intently. He seemed to be seeking permission to take the next step. His fingertips lightly touched my arms as he moved his hands up to cup my face in his hands. He leaned down and our lips were about to touch when someone knocked on the door. We jumped back, away from each other.

  “Liza? Walker? I heated up some food for you if you’d like to come down and eat.”

  The lump in my throat kept me silent. We stared at each for what seemed like forever.

  Walker seemed to snap out of the trance first. “I’m sorry…” he whispered as he turned toward the door. “Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins. We’ll be right down.”

  My eyes burned as I realized what had just happened. I covered my mouth with my hand before grabbing my bag and heading into the bathroom. I shut the door, turned the cold water on, and splashed my face.

  I looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe we’d almost cheated. I’d been about to kiss him. We were about to...

  The knock on the door pulled me back to reality.

  “Liza, are you okay?” Walker asked.

  My voice cracked. “Um, yeah. I’ll be right out.”

  “If you want to take a quick shower, I’m sure it would be okay…I’ll um…I’ll just head on down there.”

  I wiped my tears away and cleared my throat. The only word I could manage was, “Okay.”

  When I heard the bedroom door close, I turned on the shower, took off the rest of my clothes, got in, and stood under the hot water. I cried harder than I ever had in my life.

  AS I WALKED down the stairs, I heard laughter. Walker and a woman. And that woman sure as hell wasn’t Mrs. Jenkins. I stopped and peeked around the corner. My breath caught at the sight of Walker. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and the stubble was even more of a turn-on then his beautiful, blue eyes. I bit my lip when I saw him smile at someone. Then I saw her.

  A beautiful blonde smiled back at Walker. Heat instantly bubbled up as I forced my feet to take me into the kitchen. I cleared my throat and Walker and the blonde both turned toward me. I cocked my head at Walker. His smile faded just a bit as he looked down and took a bite of what looked like chicken and dumplings.

  “You must be Liza. Walker was just telling me how y’all have known each other since you were babies.”

  I gave her a weak smile as I nodded. “Yeah. We’ve known each other a long time,” I said. I wanted to roll my eyes at myself. What a stupid response.

  The blonde giggled. “I’m Michelle, by the way. I help Mrs. Jenkins out sometimes.

  Oh gosh. One close encounter with Walker and I forget how to behave. I smiled warmly. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure where my manners are right now. I think I’m just…” I looked at Walker, who was waiting for my response. “Tired. I’m really tired. It’s been a very long day.” I sat down, glancing at Walker, and thanked Michelle as she set a bowl of chicken and dumplings in front of me.

  “Walker here was telling me a pretty lame joke to cheer me up,” Michelle said, winking at Walker.

  I tried to push away the jealousy. “Really?” I asked.

  Michelle’s smile faded. “My husband left this morning. He’s in the Navy and he’ll be gone for six months.”

  My mouth fell open. “Oh…that has to be really hard.”

  She smiled and nodded. “It is, but he will be heading home for good after this.”

  I couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, thank him for his service. I’m glad this is the last time he’ll leave you.”

  Michelle wiped her hands on her apron and leaned back against the counter. “Thank you. Walker said the same exact thing.”

  I peeked over at Walker and found him staring back. I looked back down at my bowl and focused on only eating.

  WE STARED AT the bed. Finally, Walker grabbed a pillow and a blanket that was sitting at the end of the bed. As he laid the blanket out on the floor, my heart hurt in ways it shouldn’t. I wanted to tell him to sleep in the bed, that it would be okay. But with what happened earlier, I wasn’t so sure. I watched as he tried to get comfortable.

  “Night, Liza,” he said.

  I was about to say something when my cell phone rang. I was shocked that I had a signal. When I saw Keith’s name I was overcome with guilt.

  “Hello?” It was a bad connection, and I could barely hear him.

  “Liza? Can you hear me? Baby? Can you hear me?”

  I looked at Walker on the floor and closed my eyes. “Yep, I can hear you.”

  “Hey, baby! It’s so good to hear your voice.”

  “You too,” I said, trying to keep my voice down.

  “Have you missed me?”

  “Yes. You?” I opened my eyes and saw Walker looking at me.

  Keith let out a small moan. “More than you know. I want to feel your warmth. I miss what it feels like to make love to you.”

  I couldn’t respond—not with Walker looking at me. I closed my eyes and imagined Walker kissing me. I imagined his touch, his eyes looking into mine. The moment I felt the tear slip from my eyes, I stood up and turned my back to Walker.

  “Keith, I can’t really hear you. The connection is really bad.”

  “Are you at the hotel in Kentucky? I’ll call you on the land line.”

  I shook my head. “No, um…I’m…well I’m at a…” the moment the phone went dead I said a silent prayer of thanks.

  I put my phone on silent and set it back down on the end table. I took a deep breath and crawled into the bed, where I stared at the ceiling. I was so tired, but my body would not relax into sleep. I knew what I was about to do was wrong, but I was desperate. I needed sleep, and I knew the only way I would get it was is to be near him.

  “Walker? Are you awake?” I whispered.

  “Yes,” he whispered back, his voice cracking.

  We sat up at the same time. I took a shaky breath and said, “What happened earlier can’t happen again.”

  Moonlight was shining in through the window, lighting up the room. Walker nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  Swallowing hard, I spoke again. “I um…I can’t sleep. When we were younger…”

  “I would hold you until you fell asleep.” I chewed on my lip as Walker whispered, “Liza…”

  Tears streamed down my face. “Please—I’m so tired, Walker. I don’t know what’s happening. I’m so confused and I just want some sleep.” I sobbed as our eyes met. “Please.”

  LISTENING TO THE only girl I’ve ever really loved ask me to hold her while she fell asleep was almost more than I could take. I closed my eyes and thought back to earlier¸ when we’d both finally let our guards down, almost doing the one thing I knew we both wanted. Promises we’d made to others were the only things holding us back. I’d cursed myself the whole way downstairs. I’d promised myself that I would never put Liza in that situation again, and here she was, asking me to hold her. All I really wanted to do was feel every inch of her body. Kiss her in places that I knew turned her on. I wondered if Keith knows those places.

  “Please, Walker.”

  I stood up and grabbed the pillow, leav
ing the blanket on the floor. Once she fell asleep, I’d slip out of the bed and sleep on the floor. There was no way in hell I’d be able to sleep next to her all night.

  Liza fell back onto her pillow and turned her back toward me as I crawled under the sheet. The moment I felt her body against me, I began a chant in my head: You love Jessica. You only want Jessica. I placed my arm around Liza and pulled her closer to me, but not close enough that she might feel my already hardening dick. You love Jessica. You only want Jessica.

  I breathed in Liza’s scent and was transported back to the day we’d said goodbye.

  LIZA’S PARENTS WERE in Austin for a holiday benefit party. I’d snuck up into Liza’s room, and we hadn’t stopped kissing since shutting her bedroom door. Now we were on her bed and I had my dick pressed between her legs. She moaning quietly and I wanted to strip her down and make love to her once and for all, but something was stopping us. This last semester had been hard for both of us. Being away from Liza was starting to make me go crazy. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I always wondered what she was doing. Where she was. Who she was with.

  I moved my lips to her ear and kissed it. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer.

  “Oh, God. Walker…I’m going to come.” She whispered as I pressed in harder. I bit her ear and she grabbed my arms, arching her back as she tried to hold back her moans of pleasure. I moved my lips to hers as I swallowed one moan after another. I loved that I could make her come like this. I couldn’t help but wonder what it might feel like with me inside her. As Liza’s orgasm began to wind down, she loosened her grip on me. I pulled away and smiled. Her chest was heaving and she was biting her lip.

  “I miss you so much,” I said, watching her chew on her lip. “I don’t think I can keep doing this, Liza.” I leaned down and kissed her, gently sucking on her lower lip. “I want to make love to you so bad, but I know the moment I do, I’m going to crave you even more. And you’ll be gone.” I watched as a tear slid down her face.

  “What are you saying, Walker?” she asked. I knew from the look in her eyes that she was thinking the same thing that I was.

  I moved off of her and sat on the edge of her bed. She adjusted her bra and shirt and sat next to me. She took a breath and asked, “Should we take a break from…us?”

  I slowly nodded. “I can’t focus, Liza.”

  “Neither can I. It’s getting harder,” she said, wiping her nose.

  I took her hand and held it. Little did I know that would be the last time I’d kiss her.

  “THANK YOU,” LIZA whispered.

  I held her next to me, keeping my dick away, but still keeping her close enough that she felt safe. Growing up, anytime she had a nightmare she’d text me and I’d sneak in through her bedroom window to hold her until she fell asleep. I’d sit there and watch her sleep for a while before heading home. I think one of those nights was when it finally hit me—I loved her and would do anything for her.

  The sound of her steady breathing relaxed me. Don’t fall asleep. I told myself. Do. Not. Fall. Asleep. My eyelids grew heavier as I closed them, telling myself I’d only sleep here for a few minutes.

  BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

  What the fuck is that sound?

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  It must have been Liza’s alarm. The moment she moved, my eyes sprung open. I was still holding her. I was still spooning Liza and my dick was pressed right against her. I was frozen. Too scared to move. Was she awake? She gently lifted my arm to move it off of her. Shit. I wondered if I should pretend to be asleep and spare us the embarrassment.

  I kept my eyes closed as I listened to her move around the room. When I heard the bathroom door close, I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. I sat up and swung my legs over and sat on the edge of the bed, but I couldn’t help thinking about holding Liza all night. All night. The girl of my dreams had been in my arms all night. I shook my head and quickly reached for my jeans, then went to my bag to get a T-shirt. I was startled when my phone buzzed with Jessica’s ring tone. I grabbed it from the desk and answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, handsome. What are you doing?”

  I ran my hand through my hair. Oh you know. Sleeping with another woman in my arms. “I’m in Kentucky, about to go look at some horses.”

  Jessica laughed. “Sounds like loads of fun.”

  “It’s my life now.”

  She cleared her throat and asked, “Who are you with?”

  I closed my eyes. “Layton and Liza.”

  “Liza’s there? Why did she go?” Her voice was laced with hate.

  Liza walked out of the bathroom, stopping to look at me. I watched as her eyes moved over my body. That’s when I realized I hadn’t put on my T-shirt yet.

  “Hello? Are you going to answer me?”

  “Um, to spend time with her dad, I guess.”

  Liza and I just stared at each other. This wasn’t going to work. Us being together…alone.

  Jessica made a funny sound and said, “Huh. Well, where are you right now? You sound distracted. Have you gone shopping for rings yet? When are you heading back to Texas?”

  I turned away from Liza and whispered, “What the hell is this? Twenty questions?”

  It sounded like she was crying. Ah hell.

  “I’m going to be coming home early. Mother and I are tired of Europe. We’re going to head back and spend some time in New York City. Would you like to meet us there?”

  I dragged in a deep breath as I ran my free hand down my face. “I can’t, Jessica. I’m sorry. You know I would if I could.”

  “Right. The ranch is more important.”

  I balled my fists up and tried to settle my slowly-building anger. “Why are you doing this? You know this is me. This is my life and if you don’t want to be a part of…”

  “Stop. I’m sorry.” She began crying harder. “It’s just that I miss you. I’m sorry I was being a bitch. I know this is your life now. I do want to be a part of it.”

  There was a knock at the door. “Jessica, I’m sorry but I really have to run.”

  “O-okay. I’m sorry.”

  I closed my eyes. “Me, too.”

  “I love you and miss you,” she whispered.

  Turning, I watched Liza pack up her stuff and throw her bag over her shoulder. As she walked by, I grabbed her arm. Her eyes met mine and I knew what I had to do.

  “Same here. Bye, Jess.”

  I hit End on my phone. I wanted more than anything to push Liza against the wall and make her mine. I wanted what should have been mine. But I did what we both needed me to do. When I let go of her arm, the look in her eyes about killed me. She was about to say something when I turned and walked away from her.

  The next thing I heard was the door opening and Mrs. Jenkins saying, “Good morning, Liza. Are y’all ready to head to Mr. McMurphy’s?”

  “Yes. The sooner we get there, the better. I’ll be down in the truck, Walker.”

  I pulled my T-shirt over my head and grabbed my bag as I made my way to the door, mumbling curses under my breath.

  LAYTON WALKED AROUND one of the three horses I’d pulled aside. His hands moved along the horse as his eyes took in every detail. I peeked over to Liza, who watched her father intently. I’d spent a few hours this morning with Mr. McMurphy, asking about the three horses that had caught my eye when we’d first walked into the barn. Liza and I had taken two out and worked them each for a few minutes. We didn’t speak unless it had to do with the horses. The drive to the ranch had been brutally quiet.

  Layton stood up and nodded. He winked at Liza, and she looked at me and smiled. I didn’t know if that was a good sign or not. Layton handed the horse off to the stable boy and said, “Tell Mr. McMurphy that all three horses will need to be prepared for travel.”

  “What?” I said.

  Liza skipped and ran over, throwing herself into me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, but I was looking at Layton. He gave me this goofy
smile as he came over. Liza squeezed me harder, as if this was the last time we’d ever be in each other’s arms.

  “I’m so proud of you, Walker. You did it.” She whispered in my ear.

  She pulled back and licked her lips, then blinked slowly before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. I wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her properly. When she pulled back, our eyes caught, and I couldn’t pull myself from her stare.

  “Thank you,” I said, my voice struggling to get the words out. Layton walked up and hit me on the back. I quickly turned and smiled at him.

  “You’re old man is going to be one hell of a proud dad when I tell him you picked out the next three winners.” Layton said as he shook my hand.

  I didn’t know what to say. My whole life, all I ever wanted was to be a part of the ranch, work next to Layton, help my father with the racing side of the business, and marry Liza.

  Wait. What?

  I smiled bigger and returned Layton’s handshake. It was all I could do not to jump up and down and yell like a kid. Yep, I was that excited. I’d done it. I’d proved my worth.

  Layton turned to Liza. “I say we should all get dinner tonight to celebrate.”

  Liza was about to answer her dad when Mr. McMurphy walked over, chuckling.

  “I knew when the boy pulled out those three horses that you had a natural on your hands, Layton,” Mr. McMurphy said, winking at me. He was dressed in the rancher’s uniform of jeans, boots, and a button-down. His white cowboy hat looked like it had seen better days.

  Layton seemed to be beaming with pride. Liza stood off to the side with a smile as big as the Grand Canyon. I’d never felt so happy in my life.

  Layton nodded and said, “I knew he had it in him. He used to follow his daddy and me all over the ranch back home. Started asking questions about the horses when he was three. His daddy, Reed, has the gift as well.”

  “Apple didn’t fall far from the tree! Don’t forget, I’ve worked with Reed before. Bastard knows how to drive a hard bargain. He has a way of buying a million dollar horse for two hundred and fifty thousand.”