Undoing

by L. L. Diamond

  Thomas blinked and turned his head just barely to the side. He lifted a hand, but Carlisle jumped forward. “Do not use more of your energy than necessary. I am certain, were you able, you would shake my hand and greet me properly. Today, I consider it done so we might discuss why you wished to see me.”

  “Alexander,” said Thomas in broken syllables.

  “If you will pardon my impertinence,” said Colin from the opposite side of Thomas’s bed. “His Grace wishes you to join Mr. Darcy as a second guardian to his heir, much as you are to Miss Darcy. He knows Mr. Darcy will be an exemplary model for the young Master, yet we do not know God’s plan for any of us. He respects you and would appreciate your assurance that should it be required, you will be of use to the young Master, and even Her Grace should she need you. At this time in the young Master’s life, he needs his mother. That is the most important consideration.”

  Elizabeth swallowed the lump in her throat and rubbed Thomas’s arm as his eyes fluttered, keeping him in the present for the time being.

  When Carlisle looked at Thomas, Thomas nodded and took a shuddering breath.

  “I am honoured,” said Carlisle. “I hope you know I would do so without you asking, and not only because Lizzy is now my sister.”

  Colin gave a slight bow. “His Grace did believe as much when he took the liberty of adding your name to his latest will, but he never had the opportunity to make the request before he fell ill in London. He merely did not want to surprise you with the responsibility. Particularly if something were to happen to Mr. Darcy.”

  She closed her eyes and exhaled as she stood, allowing Carlisle to stand closer to the bed. Fitzwilliam held her heart in his. She could not think of him passing without considerable distress. They had not even had their chance to truly be together.

  “I would have understood,” said Carlisle. “My Uncle Darcy had many of the same reasons. Now, though, you should take your tonic and rest. You should not fatigue yourself. Between Darcy and myself, your son and Lizzy will always be protected. Do not worry.”

  She turned back just in time to see Thomas mouth “Thank you.”

  When Carlisle walked toward her, she led him through to the sitting room. “Thank you,” she said once the door closed behind them. “I know this must seem odd.”

  “His valet speaking for him certainly is, yet I do not find his request so very strange. I have known Leeds all my life and given my uncle’s will, Leeds would know he could trust me. My marriage to Jane makes me family. If something does befall Darcy, James, as the duke’s relation, could legally try to claim your son. He is right to appoint us both.”

  Alexander’s loud cry carried into the room from her bedchamber, and she glanced in that direction. “I am certain he wishes to be fed.” When she peered through the door, she waved Lalande over. “Please show Viscount Carlisle to his rooms. ’Tis the blue room in the guest wing.

  “I shall see you soon for refreshments,” she said to Carlisle. “Thank you for bringing Georgiana.”

  “We were pleased to be of aid. Jane has greatly desired to see you for some time. I am glad we could come.” He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before he followed her maid into the corridor.

  Alexander gave another wail, and she smiled. “I am coming.” When she stood over his cradle, he waved his little arms while his face screwed into a frown that would make Fitzwilliam proud. “Come, come, little one. ’Tis not so bad.”

  She sat on the bed in the midst of her pillows and unfastened the top of her gown. Madame Bonheur’s brilliant suggestion of a bib-front style made it less time-consuming to feed him during the day. She would have to thank her the next time she required new gowns.

  He latched on quickly, and she relaxed while his little gulps and grunts filled the air. Those were the most beautiful sounds. She wiggled her little finger where his tiny fingers held tight as he fed. How could she love someone so much? Her heart was so full, it felt as if it might burst. He was so perfect—each of his fingers and toes, his crystal blue eyes and serious expression that resembled Fitzwilliam’s. He also had this one perfect curl on the top of his head that she adored caressing with her finger.

  When he was done, she changed his napkin as Lalande entered. “Miss Darcy and Miss Bennet are in your sitting room.”

  “Thank you,” she said, picking him up and cradling him to her. “Would you like to meet your Aunt Jane? And I think we should call Georgiana, Aunt Georgiana. What do you think?”

  He puckered his lips and waved his fist in the air.

  “I am glad you agree.”

  When she entered, they both rose while Georgiana clasped her hands. “Oh, he is precious!”

  Elizabeth stepped over and passed him carefully to her. “You must support his head.” Her hand touched the underside of Georgiana’s elbow. “Good. Perhaps you should sit down. You might not be so anxious.”

  “Well, I have never held a baby this young before.”

  With a serene smile, Jane sat next to Georgiana and tucked the blankets back from his face. “’Tis not difficult.” She touched the curl. “He is beautiful, Lizzy. Your husband, Alexander, Mr. Darcy, and even Georgiana all have the same colour eyes. They are so bright.”

  “My father and Thomas favoured one another a great deal when they were younger,” said Georgiana. “You can see it when you look at their portraits. Thomas’s hangs downstairs in the gallery off the ballroom. When you come to Pemberley, I shall show you the one of my father.”

  After a knock, Elizabeth bade the person to enter. “I finally get to meet the famous Alexander,” said Carlisle as he strode inside. “He is barely a week old, and I see has commanded all the ladies’ attention. I believe I am jealous.”

  “Really, Nicholas,” said Jane, laughing.

  “He has all of you talking of naught but him. Is not that enough?”

  “He is worth speaking of, are you not, little one?” asked Georgiana in a crooning voice.

  With Alexander settled for the moment, Elizabeth set to work serving tea. “How are my parents?”

  “I dare say much the same as when you last saw them.” Jane put down her teacup so Georgiana could pass Alexander to her. “Papa received the book you sent him as a gift. If it had not been for my wedding, we would not have seen him until he finished the very last page. Mama declared herself in a fit of nerves over the affair.”

  Elizabeth sighed while she shook her head. “Oh, Mama.”

  The door suddenly opened making everyone startle. “Lizzy! Mrs. Hamilton said you left this room. How could you?” He came to a sudden stop. “Forgive me for interrupting. I believe Mrs. Hamilton hoped I could talk some sense into her. She informed me Lizzy was having tea. She did not mention you had arrived.”

  She stared at Fitzwilliam with an eyebrow raised. He liked to accuse her of being headstrong and impulsive, yet he could claim the same attributes—of all the nerve! “I did myself no harm, and in fact, I feel better than I have since Alexander was born.”

  “He is so handsome, Brother,” said Georgiana, gushing.

  “He is, Sweetling. Have you visited Thomas yet?”

  “No, not yet.”

  Fitzwilliam held out his arm. “Let us see if we can rouse him enough.”

  Once he led her out, Jane laughed while she held Alexander’s little hand. “I see I need not worry for you. Mr. Darcy is good enough to ensure you do not overexert yourself.”

  Elizabeth smiled while part of her rankled at his admonishment. “That he is.” How she wanted to slap Fitzwilliam. She would not risk herself or Alexander, so why did he feel the need to scold her like a child?

  After dinner, Fitzwilliam returned to his room and sank into one of the chairs with a groan. What a day it had been. He had ridden out to deal with a tenant who had not tended the sheep on his land as he ought. The poor beasts were emaciated and needed to be put down, yet the tenant argued he had cared for the animals diligently. The entire morning was spent dealing with those sheep and e
victing the tenant.

  Then he came back to realise Elizabeth had left her rooms. When he realised it was likely to meet her sister, he could not blame her, yet she was not even supposed to leave her bed much less go traipsing about the house or go on one of her walks.

  All he had to do was look at her to know she was furious. That one eyebrow he loved was high on her forehead, and her lips were not pursed in amusement or giving a half-smile that made him want to drag her to bed. No, instead, her lips pressed tightly together.

  The biggest problem was how Carlisle regarded him with an odd look after his blunder. He removed Georgiana in the hopes his cousin would not ask questions as well as to collect himself before he was in company again, but Carlisle’s eyes had not ceased to watch him when they were all together.

  Dinner proved to be the culmination to an abominable day. He tried to catch Elizabeth’s gaze on multiple occasions, but she would not look at him unless he spoke to the entire table, and her eyes never lingered on him. In the past, she was always more circumspect out of the privacy of her rooms but not to this extent.

  A knock came from the door, and his head shot up. The sound was not from the servants’ corridor, which did not bode well for the remainder of his evening. “Yes?”

  When the door opened, Carlisle stepped inside and closed it behind him. “You can tell me to go to hell, but I want to know what is happening in this house. I will not depart until I have answers, so you may as well tell me.”

  Fitzwilliam furrowed his brow and stood to step over to the liquor on a side table. “Brandy?”

  “Yes, I shall take some. I feel as though I shall need it.” Carlisle strode over and sat in a chair. “Are you going to tell me or pretend you do not know of what I speak? I do not mind asking Lizzy or even Leeds should it be required.”

  “Why do you believe things to be out of the ordinary?” He handed his cousin the glass of brandy.

  Carlisle took a sip and leaned back in his chair, staring at him. “Are you serious? I was brought into Leeds’s room where his valet told me of his wish for me to be a second guardian for Lizzy and his son, which I do gladly. I know how much Jane loves her sister, and if James gained control over that boy, he would remove him from Lizzy’s care and his life would be a nightmare.”

  A wince came to Fitzwilliam’s face at the idea of his son in the custody of James. No, that could never happen. “I agree. I am relieved Thomas thought of you.”

  “His valet asked me, Darcy—not his steward, not his solicitor—his valet. Then you burst into Lizzy’s sitting room without knocking. By your expression when you entered, you had no idea we were present. You scolded her as if she were your wife. I know the two of you are good friends and have been for some time, yet your interaction was not one of two mere friends. She is another man’s wife, for God’s sake.”

  “I know that,” he said in a low voice.

  “Are you in love with her?” His tone was not confrontational but asked the question in a blunt fashion. “Jane even mentioned the possibility when we were in our rooms.”

  “Does it matter if I am?”

  He stood up like a shot. “Of course it does. She is about to lose her husband and will be in mourning for a year after. You cannot do anything about your feelings now. You would be a bastard for even speaking to her of your affection with Leeds on his deathbed.”

  Fitzwilliam barked out a laugh. “I would not be so sure if I were you. My cousin is a master of illusion. He constructed what he wanted others to see, and only allowed certain people to know his true self. Believe me, that circle is exceedingly small. My father knew, but I did not truly know Thomas until after my father’s death. Georgiana, hopefully, will never know.”

  Carlisle put down his brandy and clasped Fitzwilliam by both shoulders. “Then you must tell me. What if some individual knows what you do? They could use it against Alexander and Lizzy. If you love her, then you should want to protect her and her son.”

  “By telling you, I increase the risk of exposure,” he said through gritted teeth. “No one can know, and Lizzy would never forgive me if Jane cast her off.”

  “Cast her off?” His cousin backed away and frowned. “I doubt Lizzy has committed any such crime, and even if she had, Jane would never reject her. She would sooner sever her own limb.”

  Fitzwilliam turned and watched the empty grate as though a fire truly burnt at the coals inside. He took a drink, closed his eyes, and shook his head. Carlisle’s hand to his arm pulled him around once more.

  “You must tell me. Could this harm Leeds’s son?”

  “He is my son.”

  His cousin flinched, likely at the venom in his tone, and stepped back. “What?”

  “You heard me. Alexander George Darcy Osborne is my son. Thomas and Lizzy even named him to signify it, not that anyone would readily know. I wanted the name Alexander while Lizzy wanted Nathaniel and Thomas desired to honour my father.”

  “Good God! Thomas knows?” He rubbed his hand over his mouth then downed the rest of his brandy and held out his glass. “You had best give me more. I have a feeling I shall require it very soon.”

  Once Carlisle had a full glass, Fitzwilliam told him all from Thomas’s original plan to how he used their drunkenness against them to facilitate the start of their relationship. “We did not plan to love each other. One day we simply did. We tried to do what we felt was right, yet once we were together, we found it impossible to be apart. Surely you must understand. You love Jane.”

  “I do, and I cannot fathom what the two of you have endured—how you must feel to have your son claimed by another.” With his elbows propped on his knees, Carlisle ran his hands through his hair and hung his head between his arms. “Leeds had a reputation at the brothels. Did he catch a disease?”

  A sarcastic laugh escaped before Fitzwilliam could stop it. “I asked him of that rumour once. He explained how he had the women spread it about that he paid for their services. He never bedded them, but paid them handsomely to speak of what he wished.”

  “But why?” He continued to look at the floor while he spoke. His hands on the back of his neck.

  “To hide what he really was.”

  Carlisle’s head slowly rose, and he gradually shifted to give Fitzwilliam a side-long look. “No,” he gasped. He shot up from the chair. “I cannot believe you would not tell me. Leeds claims Alexander as his son, and he is married to Lizzy, so Alexander should never lose his inheritance. He is Leeds’s son in the eyes of society. Whether rumours abound about you or not, Leeds’s wish is secure. Lizzy’s reputation, however, could be in tatters. Eventually, some other scandal would come along and people would forget, but if what I am thinking is true, some people feel that to be contagious, which could affect Alexander—especially if people believe him to be Leeds’s son.” He scrubbed his face with his hands before he picked up his brandy glass and refilled it. “The valet is his lover.” He spoke matter-of-factly.

  “Yes,” said Fitzwilliam.

  “Lizzy knows?”

  “She does. On her first visit to Pemberley, Wickham intruded into her rooms to steal her jewellery. When she opened the door connecting her chambers to that of Thomas’s for help, she witnessed them in an embrace. She then learnt the true nature of her marriage.”

  “Who knows?”

  “The obvious is you, me, Thomas, his valet, and Lizzy. Her maid and my valet know of our relationship and that I am Alexander’s true father but naught of the rest. Our valets and her maid orchestrate what is said below stairs as well as ensure we can spend time together.”

  Carlisle nodded and took a sip of his brandy, baring his teeth. “You will go to her later?”

  “Yes, I have spent every night with her since my arrival. I delivered Alexander if you can believe it.”

  Carlisle coughed and spluttered and Fitzwilliam stood to slap him on the back. “You must be joking?”

  “No, she was recalcitrant as hell and refused to let us send for the midwife. I c
ould not wake Thomas to issue a demand, and Lalande is employed by Lizzy. That stubborn woman insisted it would be hours. She was wrong and gave birth on the floor of her dressing room while I trembled and feared I would faint dead away. I was terrified I would harm him.”

  His cousin blew out a long breath and shook his head slowly. “I could not watch Jane endure so much pain.” He raised his glass for them to toast. “To you and your son. Between the two of us, I swear he will be ready to manage the dukedom when his time comes.”

  “Thank you,” said Fitzwilliam quietly. “Will you tell Jane?”

  Carlisle swirled his brandy around the glass. “I promised to never keep secrets from her, and this would be impossible to hide. I must tell her. You have to believe that she loves her sister too much to think ill of her. You have naught to concern yourself with. I hope you know that.”

  “You had best be correct, or Lizzy will never forgive me.”

  Carlisle downed the last of his brandy. “The incident today, as well as your constant watching of her at dinner, gave your feelings away. You must be more circumspect in the future. The two of you will have your time, but you must wait a while longer.”

  He closed his eyes and groaned. “’Tis difficult. Tonight, I knew she was angry. I only wanted to catch her eye for a moment.”

  “Keep it behind closed doors,” said Carlisle setting his glass on the table. “Too much is at stake. While Alexander’s inheritance is secure due to Lizzy’s marriage, gossip of his true parentage could bring too many questions. Thomas’s relationship or relationships cannot become fodder for society.”

  Fitzwilliam swallowed a gulp of his drink and winced at the heat in his gullet. “I know.”

  “Jane and I agreed to remain for an indefinite time. We shall help with the funeral since I do not expect Leeds to survive for much longer. After the will is read and the churching, we shall journey to Hertfordshire where I have leased an estate close to Longbourn. If it proves a convenient place to stay to visit her family, I might purchase it. I could not live for any length of time under the same roof as Mrs. Bennet. I would not survive.”