Undoing

by L. L. Diamond

  “Poor, I am afraid. She does not understand why he cries, but she will not temper her volume. He startles whenever she is near. She sent most of us out to a tenant until we were weaned, so she has very little experience with a child so small. She is scandalized that I have not done the same with Alexander.”

  He rubbed the babe’s back while he studied him for a moment. Mrs. Bennet’s laments towards Elizabeth’s care of their son were unfounded. He was robust and rosy. Fitzwilliam much preferred Elizabeth caring for him as she did and envied her ability to do so. “Ignore your mother. He is a splendid child—hearty and happy. I would not have you raise him any other way.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly. Her hand found its way into the crook of his arm. “I confess I cannot leave him over to Millie for too long. I go to church on Sundays, and she keeps watch over him while he naps or if I take the time to greet callers, though I have begged Jane to excuse me most days since it is often Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst.”

  “Mourning is the perfect excuse.”

  “The few times I have been in those ladies’ company, I was in the drawing room when they were announced. I could not very well flee, even though it was my most fervent desire.”

  He grinned and stamped down that frustrating impulse to kiss her. “How long do you remain outside with him?” Alexander had been well-wrapped in several shawls, but his little hand was beginning to feel cold.

  “I was about to return to the house when you came.” She reached up and touched Alexander’s fingers. “Is he chilled?”

  “I do not have him as well swaddled as you did.”

  She untied the shawl draped around her waist. “Lalande knew of this method of making a sling for him. I have preferred it since I feel it keeps him warmer.”

  She put her hand back in the crook of his elbow as they ascended the steps. When they entered the hall, Elizabeth tucked the shawls around Alexander. “We can sit in front of the fire to help warm him.”

  “Mr. Darcy!”

  The three of them started at the exclamation, but he stiffened into a human tree. Why was Miss Bingley at Netherfield today of all days? He turned and bowed formally. “Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst, I hope you and your family are well?”

  “We are well, thank you. Charles was meeting with the steward at Stoke when we departed.”

  Fitzwilliam furrowed his brow. “I hope there is naught amiss.”

  Miss Bingley waved his comment away, briefly glancing to Carlisle when he entered the hall. “Oh, he meets with the steward once a week to learn more about running an estate. I told him he should learn from you as you would know more than a mere steward, but he does not listen.”

  “I learn a great deal from my steward,” said Fitzwilliam, ensuring no censure entered his voice. “He has more experience than I and a vast amount of knowledge from which to learn. He is an invaluable asset to Pemberley.”

  “But you would only employ the best of people at Pemberley.” Miss Bingley adopted the cloying tone that sent an unpleasant vibration up his spine. Jane, who stood behind Miss Bingley and her sister, cleared her throat demurely, which was certainly an attempt to cease the conversation and move them into a drawing room.

  “Are you insinuating the duke did not give similar consideration to those who care for his properties?” Elizabeth’s one eyebrow was lifted and her tone was pinched. He could not blame her. From what she had indicated in her letters, Miss Bingley continually insulted her. Why the woman insisted on killing herself socially astounded him.

  Miss Bingley paused and paled only a fraction while Mrs. Hurst cast glances between Jane and her as she stepped beside her sister. Her eyes then flitted to Carlisle, him, and Elizabeth before her wide gaze turned to her own sister. “I am certain Caroline did not mean to imply the duke was lackadaisical in his management by any means.”

  “I would think not,” said Jane. “My brother was exceedingly attentive to those who relied on him for their well-being, and his estates prospered under his excellent management.”

  Carlisle clasped his arms behind his back and nodded. “They did indeed.”

  Miss Bingley’s face turned a slight crimson and her lips pressed together while her sister and Jane spoke of her ill-conceived words. She recovered quickly, however, and smiled calculatingly. “I had no idea you were so fond of children, Mr. Darcy. I have always been told they should remain in the care of a nursemaid.”

  He did his best to disguise a deep inhale. How did this woman never learn? “My parents certainly never left me in the sole care of my nursemaids or my governess. My aunt never relegated my cousin to the sole care of others. I am at a loss as to where you come by your information, Miss Bingley. My cousin knew of the duchess’s plans to care for their son, and he supported her. He married her because he thought enough of her character to know that she would go to great lengths to care for her child.”

  “I have mentioned that my mother cared for us before,” said Carlisle. “Truly, Miss Bingley, I believe you must learn that not everyone has the same habits or beliefs.”

  “Well, I—”

  “I do not wish to hear it, Miss Bingley,” said Carlisle. “Since your arrival in the neighbourhood, you have called, several times a week, and proceeded to deride the people of Meryton and insult my wife in her own home, as well as our sister and nephew. My wife is too charitable to ban you from this house, but I do not share her qualms on the matter. Pray, depart Netherfield without delay. I will give the butler direction that you are not to be admitted to this house again.”

  Mrs. Hurst stepped forward, her eyes darting between Carlisle and her sister, whose mouth gaped like a perch. “My Lord, I am certain my sister did not—”

  “Your sister should be more aware of her snide remarks and her backhanded compliments. She must also learn from her mistakes. Do you not agree, Darcy?”

  He stiffened and adjusted Alexander so he held him more securely. He hated offending Bingley, yet Elizabeth should not need to hide in what was essentially her own home for the time being. “I do. I would have implemented the same long ago had I not enjoyed the friendship of Miss Bingley’s brother.”

  Miss Bingley blanched and clenched her hands into fists at her sides. “I am the model of a perfect lady.”

  “No, you are certainly not,” said Fitzwilliam. “You insult anyone you feel below you, and in this case, those who are far above you in rank and behaviour. You have insulted a duchess and a viscountess as well as my aunt, a countess.”

  “They are both from Longbourn,” said Miss Bingley with a sputter. “Their mother is vulgar, and they hardly have the fortune a duke or a viscount should aspire to wed!”

  “And you are a tradesman’s daughter.” Carlisle’s jaw pulsed, and his eyes narrowed. “You should consider your own background before you deride that of others. In the case of the duchess, I am certain the Duke of Leeds saw what I did in my wife—beauty, intelligence, and kindness—a trait you sorely lack.”

  Fitzwilliam became distracted when the butler entered and dipped his chin in Carlisle’s direction. Had his cousin realised the direction of the conversation and planned the Bingleys’ ejection before he even entered?

  “Your carriage is prepared and awaits you.” Carlisle lifted his arm towards the door. “Pray give my regards to your brother.” He whispered to Jane who looped her arm through Elizabeth’s and led her into the drawing room.

  At Carlisle’s hand to his shoulder, Fitzwilliam startled from watching Miss Bingley’s strained expression. Carlisle pressed him to follow Elizabeth while he tilted his head in that direction. Fitzwilliam allowed himself to be led into the drawing room and the door closed behind him.

  “Nicholas,” said Jane. “I understand a set down was necessary, but do you really think shunning her is the best idea? What if chastisement alone was enough to change her ways? I would hate to think her friendless.”

  Elizabeth sat on the couch and leaned against the arm. “She is already friendless. Most of the ladies sh
e claims as confidantes only associate with her for gossip. Her own popularity is an illusion she enjoys but will soon find a figment of the past since many ladies have tired of her. London next Season will be a different place for Caroline Bingley.”

  “My mother has never been amused by her,” said Carlisle, who now poked at the fire.

  “Lady Vranes has not either,” said Elizabeth. “Miss Bingley, and by extension, her brother were excluded from the guest list for the Vranes’s ball for the past two years. That will not change. I would not be surprised if Laura gives Miss Bingley the cut direct this Season. Miss Geddes was present for some of Miss Bingley’s behaviour and mentioned it to Lady Vranes upon her return to London.”

  Fitzwilliam sat near Elizabeth, but not so close as to be inappropriate. “Lady Vranes does hold significant power within the more intellectual circle of the peerage. If she publicly cuts Miss Bingley, they will assume it is with good reason. They will follow suit.”

  “Enough of Miss Bingley,” said Elizabeth. “The short time I have spent in her company has made me desirous of never speaking of her again. Fitzwilliam has come, and I am anticipating Georgiana’s visit. I do not want to dampen my own spirits by giving attention to someone who does not deserve it.”

  Fitzwilliam nuzzled Alexander who had begun to fuss. “Well said.”

  Elizabeth peered across the room to the clock and held out her hands. “He is due to be fed.” Once she had the baby settled in her arms, he buried his face against her chest while she kissed his crown. “I shall see you at dinner.”

  He nodded and watched the sway of her gown when she departed. The past months had been interminable, but being in the same house would not be easy. He was not accustomed to keeping his distance, yet the sacrifice was required. She had been right when she had scolded him after the reading of Thomas’s will. She could not fall with child while in mourning. Of course, he would marry her immediately, but he understood that she had no desire to incite talk.

  A clap to his shoulder startled him from his reverie. “A great deal of time has passed already. You have a mere seven months. You will make it.”

  “I have wanted to be here more than anything. I know we must start over in some sense, yet being with her but not really being with her is difficult.”

  Jane smiled and reached over from her chair to take his hand. “You must know she feels the same. Patience has never been Lizzy’s strongest trait. Do not forget how she pushed the midwife’s boundaries after Alexander’s birth.”

  “I have not.” He stood and quickly kissed the back of Jane’s hand. “Thank you for the invitation to spend Christmas with you and my insufferable cousin.”

  “You are welcome to stay as long as you want,” said Carlisle from behind him.

  “I would dearly love to be with them every day, yet keeping my distance from Elizabeth when she is so close is an arduous occupation. After the holiday season, I shall return Georgiana to school and travel to Pemberley for a time. I plan on re-decorating the mistress’s apartments. I shall return for Easter unless you have need of me before.”

  “I thought Lady Catherine would demand you journey to Rosings for Easter.”

  “She has insisted in her letters, but I have informed her of my plans to pass the holiday with you. I also informed her once again that I would not wed Anne.”

  “When did you do that?” said Carlisle with a horribly mischievous smile.

  “Before I departed London.”

  “I look forward to the letter she pens in return.”

  Fitzwilliam could not help the tug to one side of his lips. “It is good one of us does.”

  Chapter 24

  “Madame,” said Lalande, standing in the door to Elizabeth’s dressing room. “You wished to be notified when Miss Darcy arrived.”

  Elizabeth peered down to Alexander, who had fallen asleep on her breast, his usual milk dribbling from his lip. “Thank you.”

  After her maid departed, Elizabeth put her gown to rights and set her son to her shoulder, rubbing his back while she scooted from the bed. She then placed him in the cot in the adjoining room where Millie awaited him. “Please let me know when he wakes.” Millie nodded while she further tucked the blanket around him.

  Elizabeth arrived in the drawing room to the familiar greeting of Georgiana calling her name and rushing to embrace her. Thank goodness school had not changed her! Elizabeth would have missed these greetings had Georgiana ceased to bestow them.

  She squeezed Georgiana to her. “I have missed you too, Sweetling. Are you enjoying school?”

  When Georgiana drew back, her nose was crinkled and her lips pursed. “I enjoy the piano lessons I receive from the master, but I do not know why I need to take drawing. I am terribly inept at it.”

  “Have you made any friends?”

  “I enjoy the company of two girls. Several asked me loads of questions when I first arrived, mostly about you and Brother, before they decided whether I was worth the association.”

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Did you pass muster?”

  “Apparently, though they behave much like Miss Bingley. I am kind, yet I do not seek their company.”

  “Good girl,” said Carlisle. “You have naught to concern yourself with here. Miss Bingley is no longer welcome, so our only callers are Jane’s family and her friends from the neighbourhood.”

  “You cut Miss Bingley.” Georgiana turned abruptly to her cousin with her jaw lax. “What of Mr. Bingley?”

  “He came to call the following day,” said Fitzwilliam. “Carlisle and I sat him down in the study and told him of what his sister had said to Lizzy and Jane.”

  “He made excuses.” Carlisle laughed as he sat by Jane and took her hand. “Caroline had been indulged as a child, she was trying to impress Darcy, but in the end, we explained her behaviour would soon see her cut from most of the drawing rooms of London.”

  “I do not think he believed us.” Fitzwilliam sat on the sofa and gestured to a chair near the fire. “Come warm yourself, Georgiana. You complained so of the cold in the carriage.”

  “Yes, we do not want you to become ill.” Elizabeth saw her seated before she took the place near Fitzwilliam. How she wanted to sit closer, but he had been so careful in his behaviour since his arrival. He never strayed beyond what was proper—except for occasionally lingering over her hand while he kissed her knuckles or leaning a hair too close to speak to her privately. Those instances were typically in the sole company of Carlisle and Jane. They would not dare speak of it, so there was no cause to worry. They also could sympathise with how difficult remaining apart had been, and how they must not go beyond certain boundaries during Elizabeth’s mourning. The hardest part had been the evenings. Neither had strayed to the other’s bedchambers—even to talk between themselves.

  Fitzwilliam usually accompanied her when she walked with Alexander, which made sense when one viewed it with propriety in mind. A footman typically followed along, and she had Alexander. There was naught they could do with a small child and a footman in tow.

  “I am curious to hear more about your school,” said Jane, bringing Elizabeth back to the conversation at hand. “Elizabeth and I never had the opportunity. We would love to know more of what you do.”

  She stole a glance at Fitzwilliam, only to find his eyes on her. Georgiana must have begun speaking, but later, Elizabeth could not have repeated any of it. She was too absorbed with him.

  Elizabeth awoke the morning of Christmas Eve, having hardly slept the entirety of the evening before. Since Georgiana’s arrival three days ago, they had not heard from her family with the exception of Mary, who still walked to Netherfield for the quiet and the Broadwood Grand. Today, however, the Bennets would invade Netherfield for dinner and return on the morrow after church. The entire prospect was enough to make Elizabeth nauseous.

  The weather for the past few days had been rainy and cold, so Elizabeth had not ventured out on her own, much less taken Alexander outside. Instead, Geo
rgiana had dearly loved playing with her little cousin on the floor of the drawing room.

  He would lie on his stomach while she talked to him and made him smile. Fitzwilliam would often sprawl out on the floor with him as well, which made Elizabeth’s heart swell. She loved her two men with her entire being.

  “Lizzy?”

  Elizabeth glanced from her needlework to Georgiana, who had been playing with Alexander on the floor. “Yes, Sweetling.”

  “What are your plans when your mourning is over? I shall have a break near that time. Perhaps you could come to Pemberley? We could ride and have ever so much fun.”

  “I do believe it a wonderful idea,” said Fitzwilliam, who picked up Alexander. Fitzwilliam rolled over to his back and held their son above him, lowering him and lifting him back.

  “You might be careful.” Elizabeth cringed when he lowered Alexander to his face once more. As he lifted him, their son lost a portion of his luncheon, which hit Fitzwilliam square on the nose. Georgiana laughed while Elizabeth pursed her lips together and held her amusement inside.

  He passed Alexander to Georgiana and took out his handkerchief to wipe his face. “You fed him over an hour ago. I did not believe him still capable.”

  Georgiana returned Alexander to the blanket on the floor. “What do you think? Would you like to visit Pemberley again?”

  “I certainly would, but we shall have to see what happens during the summer.” She peeked at Fitzwilliam, who watched her steadily. “I do hope to spend more time at Pemberley.”

  “And we would enjoy having you,” said Fitzwilliam with a gaze that could melt ice.

  At Georgiana’s gasp, they both jumped. “Lizzy, look!” Georgiana pointed to Alexander, who had pulled himself up to his hands and knees with a tremendous toothless grin.

  Fitzwilliam smiled and lifted his eyebrows. “I have yet to see him do that.”

  “It is the first time he has done so.” Elizabeth set her embroidery in her lap while Fitzwilliam put his head on the floor and talked to their son.