Complicated Risk

by M. J. Perry

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart, now go to sleep,” He whispered.

  And I did.

  ****

  I woke up with a smile on my face. I’d never felt as comfortable as I did right now. When I opened my eyes, it was to find myself staring into a pair of startling blue ones.

  “Good morning,” he said with a smile.

  “Morning,” I said almost shyly, “what time is it?”

  “It’s still early,” He replied without taking his eyes from mine. “Did you sleep well?”

  I nodded. Words failed me as Maverick leaned down and captured my lips with his. It was a sweet meeting of our lips.

  “I haven’t slept that well in years,” He said as he pulled back to look at me.

  I felt breathless. “Me neither.”

  “You sleep like the dead, baby.”

  “I felt safe with you here,” I admitted.

  “And I felt content with you lying in my arms.”

  “Is that a good thing?” I tentatively ask him.

  “It confuses me. I feel…” He broke off.

  Hope ran through me. “How do you feel?”

  “Alive. You make me feel alive.” He slipped a hand behind my head and lifted me towards him as he leaned down again. This time when his lips touched mine, they were demanding. His tongue thrust into my mouth stealing my breath.

  I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but my hands reached to wrap around his neck, fisting his hair. I groaned as he suddenly moved over me, his body covering mine, his muscles pressing into my softness. When he shifted, and I felt his erection against my thigh, I gasped.

  Pulling away to take a breath, I cupped his face. “What are we doing?” I panted.

  “What I’ve wanted to do since the first time I saw you.”

  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  “I’m sure it isn’t, but I want you so much.”

  “I want you to,” I admitted.

  He stared into my eyes, but I couldn’t read his expression. I thought for a second, he was going to pull away, but I was mistaken. Capturing my lips again, he whispered against them, “I’m going to make you feel so good.” He promised.

  I shivered at the roughness of his voice. His lips pressed against mine before kissing a line down to my neck, his tongue licking the delicate skin behind my ear, making me shiver.

  “You smell delicious,” He groaned.

  His mouth settled on my collarbone, nibbling it gently, his tongue soothing away the sting. I lay there in a state of arousal so strong I wasn’t sure what to do. Maverick gripped the bottom of my t-shirt and pulled it up and over my head. I sat up to help him and lay down again as he chucked it to the floor. He took a moment to stare at my breasts, and I wanted to lift my hands to cover up. I didn’t get a chance. His mouth covered one of them, sucking hard until I felt the pull all the way to my mound. My mind blanked as he took his mouth from one and switched to the other. Arching up, I groaned as he gently bit my nipple, his tongue soothing as it stroked over the hard bud. I’d never felt so turned on, so ready to orgasm in such a short time. My whole body was primed and ready, and I wanted him with a passion I’d never felt in my entire life.

  His mouth let go, and he kissed his way down my breasts to my stomach, his tongue licked my hipbone as he made his way to the waistband of my knickers. He looked up at me then almost as if he was asking for permission. When his hands gripped them, I lifted my bottom and let him strip my last barrier away.

  I lay there completely naked. Every part of me was bare. Maverick scooted lower down the bed and pressed my legs apart. I hesitated for a second, but one look at his face and my embarrassment disappeared. He searched my eyes, and then he smiled, and it was the sweetest smile I’d ever received.

  Pushing my legs wider, he positioned himself until his face was hovering above my mound. I realised what he meant to do, and I lifted a hand to stop him. He took my hand in his, kissed my palm, and pressed it to my stomach right before he leaned down and licked me. The shock of it made me jump, and he chuckled before he did it again.

  Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling. Every nerve ending felt alive. I couldn’t keep still. As he licked and sucked me with purpose, I writhed and moaned as I chased the pleasure that was just out of reach. His teeth grazed my clitoris, and my body arched up into his mouth. Using his hand, he pushed me back down and held me pinned to the bed. His mouth didn’t rest, his tongue rubbed and sucked me, and then I felt his finger slip inside me curling until it hit a spot that made me scream out in delight. As the pleasure went on and on, I couldn’t keep up with the sensations. Just as it got too much, he stopped, and I took the time to catch my breath.

  I felt the bed move and watched as Maverick stood up and tore his boxers down his legs. I stared in awe at his nakedness. He was gorgeous. He gave me a grin and then climbed back on the bed. I opened my arms for him, and he leaned down to kiss me softly. “Are you sure about this?” he asked quietly.

  “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” I said with a smile.

  He stared at me a beat then he moved between my legs, and positioned himself at my opening. We both watched as he joined our bodies, and I’d never seen anything sexier. His erection was large, and I could feel him stretching me. I felt no pain, though, only pleasure. An all-consuming pleasure that I didn’t know was possible. He was panting as he entered me fully. I lifted up, pushing him deeper inside.

  “Don’t stop,” I said when he stilled.

  He leaned down to capture my lips, and his tongue thrust into my mouth at the exact moment he moved. I gasped into his mouth. He didn’t allow me to pull away, his mouth stayed on mine, demanding I kiss him as his body moved faster. I panted as I felt my orgasm getting closer, and as it washed over me, I moaned in pleasure. He ripped his mouth from mine and threw back his head with a groan as his body tensed.

  He was pure unadulterated sex. The kind you hear about but never get lucky enough to find. He’d just given me two orgasms in the space of minutes. Ted couldn’t even give me one. I usually faked it to make him feel better.

  Maverick covered my body with his, using his elbows to keep his weight off me. His face rested in the crook of my neck, and his breath tickled my skin. I reached up to stroke his back, his muscles tensed before relaxing again. I didn’t know what to say to him. I felt like he was warring within himself, and I could almost feel his struggle. We lay silently for what felt like forever. He pressed a kiss to my neck before he rolled off me and gathered me in his arms. Still, he didn’t speak, and I had a bad feeling that even after making love, he was going to throw up his walls again. My heart sank at the possibility of him pushing me away, but I tried to think positive. I knew I had to be patient. I had to give him the time to decide if I was worth fighting for because no matter how I felt about him, I couldn’t force him to pick me. It was a decision he had to make for himself.

  Chapter Twelve

  Ivy

  I blinked at the light shining through my closed lids. Last night came flooding back, and I looked to the side of me. He wasn’t there. The pillow had the indent of his head, but it was empty. Maverick had left. Did it mean he regretted it? Most probably, he did. I’d known in the back of my mind when he’d kissed me that it would end in tears, but I hadn’t wanted to say no. Last night, or should I say this morning had been the most intense moment of my life. A memory I will treasure always.

  I should have known he’d leave. After what he told me about his wife, I could understand why he didn’t want any ties, but god, did it hurt. After Ted, I didn’t think I’d ever let another man close, but Maverick sneaked through my defences. I didn’t need him to tell me that I was the first woman he’d been with since his wife had died, that was obvious. It gave me hope that he cared for me. I just needed him to care enough to want to be with me.

  I pushed the duvet off and headed to the shower. There was no point staying in bed any longer. Moping wouldn’t get me anywhere. I wanted to
find Maverick and talk to him. I needed to see where we stood. There was no point in hiding. If he didn’t want to be with me, if he wanted to pretend that we never made love, then I had to know, so I could try to put it behind me. I wouldn’t be able to forget, though.

  I took my time getting dressed. I brushed my hair a thousand times just to prolong going downstairs, but I wasn’t a coward. Steeling myself for what was to come, I left my bedroom.

  As I made my way to the kitchen, I realised it was quiet. I walked past the makeshift office, the door was wide open, and I could see the room was empty. That just left the dining room and the living room. I couldn’t hear any movement, and as I scoped out the rooms, I saw no one in there either. Had he left the house? Surely, he hadn’t because he kept telling me he was my bodyguard. Would he really leave?

  The thought made me sad.

  Ted had made sex dirty, something to be ashamed of, but with Maverick, it had been special, something to enjoy not something to cringe away from. It had been so special I’d let down my guard, and now I was in a pickle.

  Matt and Lee had to know something was up. I didn’t think Maverick would have told them anything, but it didn’t take a genius to work out that something had happened. Especially now, Maverick had disappeared. I wasn’t looking forward to the pitying looks I was bound to get. Trying to find my smile, I walked towards the kitchen where I could hear voices. I couldn’t hear Maverick though, just Lee and Matt. My heart sank, but I kept my smile in place.

  “Hey guys,” I said as I walked in. They both turned to stare at me, both of them looking sad before returning my smile. Great.

  “Morning, did you sleep well?” Lee asked me. I blushed.

  “Well done, numbnuts,” Matt said as he elbowed him in the stomach.

  Lee bent over, trying to catch his breath. “What was that for?”

  “You damn well know.” he snapped as he got a look at my face.

  Lee grinned sheepishly. “My question wasn’t a double entendre, you know.”

  “He’s gone, hasn’t he?” I asked Matt.

  He grimaced. “He had to slip out for a few hours.”

  “I figured he would.”

  “Why?” Lee asked innocently.

  “You know, don’t you?” I asked as I made my way to the coffee pot and poured a cup.

  “We know something’s happened between you because Maverick is running scared. He gave us a bogus story of why he had to leave in a rush.”

  “He’s not the only one who’s scared,” I said as I took a sip of coffee. “I don’t have the luxury of running away, though.”

  “He’ll be back.”

  I sighed. “I know. I am his duty, after all.”

  “You’re more than that.” Lee objected.

  “I’m not sure I am.”

  “There’s no point worrying about it. When he gets back, you can sort it out. Until then, I have some jobs for you to do to keep your mind off things.” Matt said with a smile.

  “Okay, sounds good.”

  “Don’t be so sure.” Lee groaned.

  “I’ll make some pancakes first. You’re going to need your strength.”

  “I could definitely eat some pancakes. I’m starving.” And surprisingly, I was.

  “I bet you are,” Lee said as he chuckled.

  My cheeks heated. “You are such a pig.” I scolded.

  “I know, but now I know what happened last night.”

  “Nothing happened last night,” I told him. It wasn’t a lie. We’d made love this morning.

  “Okay, honey, but I just want to say that if something did happen, don’t feel too bad about him running out this morning. He has a lot to deal with.” Lee said.

  I sighed, “He told me about his wife.”

  “He did?” Matt asked in shock. “I didn’t think he would. He never talks about her.”

  “I can understand why. It’s a heartbreaking story.”

  “It is. He hasn’t been the same since Gwen died. He’s been closed off and distant.” Matt admitted.

  “It seems we have a little miracle worker here, though. She’s bringing him out of himself.” Lee grinned.

  “He’s just left me. I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” I said as I settled in a seat at the table. I looked over at Matt. “Where are we on catching Ted?”

  Matt sat down opposite me. “He’s still keeping you and the situation from his boss as far as we’re aware. So we’ve subtly dropped a few clues about his investigation to the people we know will pass the information along to his boss.”

  “What do you think will happen?”

  “We hope that Ted will get desperate enough to do something foolish, and then it’ll give us the evidence to take him down,” Matt said.

  “Providing his boss doesn’t do it for us first.” Lee grinned.

  “Is it bad that I want that to happen?” I closed my eyes. “I had a bad dream about Ted last night. The fear had been overwhelming, but it’s nothing compared to how I’d feel if he was in front of me now.”

  “Ivy, hand on heart, we promise it won’t come to that.”

  “I know, I trust you, I just can’t help feeling that maybe we’re underestimating him. He’s a horrible human being, but he’s smart.”

  “We know what kind of man he is. He’s not going to get close, okay?” Lee said as he gave my shoulder a quick squeeze.

  “Okay,” I replied to Lee. I had to trust they’d do their job. “Do I have to make my own pancakes?” I grinned at Matt.

  “I’ll get right on them. Afterwards, I’ll show you the part of the garden I want you to help me weed.”

  “You want my help with gardening? I’m not very good at it,” I warned him. “I can’t tell a weed from a flower.”

  “It’s lucky I can then. It will be fun, and it’ll help you keep your mind off things.”

  He meant Maverick. I wished I could put him from my mind so easily. “Okay, fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Chocolate chip, okay?”

  “Chocolate chip sounds wonderful,” I said as I sipped my coffee.

  I stared out the window, my mind on Maverick. I felt lost.

  I’d fallen out of love with Ted the moment he’d laid his hands on me. All I felt for him was disgust. It didn’t make it right that I could feel myself falling in love with Maverick. He was a man who I had no rights to. He was a man who had been through an incredibly awful trauma and was maybe coming out the other side now, but he was in no way ready for a relationship with me. I wasn’t sure I was ready for a relationship after Ted. The whole situation was crazy, like something out of a movie, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

  “Ivy, you worry way too much,” Lee muttered as he took my cup from my clenched hand and headed to the pot to pour me some more.

  “How do you know I’m worrying?”

  “The frown is a dead giveaway, sweetheart.”

  “I’m not really worrying; I’m just trying to plan my next step.”

  “Your next step is to help Matt in the garden. One small thing at a time, remember?”

  “Do you think Ted is going to try and get in here?”

  “Undoubtedly, but we’ll be ready. Until then, we have a lot of time on our hands.”

  “Time to garden,” Matt said as he placed a plate in front of me.

  I sniffed in appreciation. “I’m going to need exercise to burn off all the yummy things you keep making.”

  “Nonsense. You could do with feeding up. You’re a slight little thing.” Matt grinned.

  “I’m not slight,” I disagreed.

  “You have curves in the right place,” Lee said, as he looked me up and down.

  Matt slapped him across the head. “Leave her alone, man, she’s blushing again.”

  Unfortunately, I was. I had no idea how to take compliments, and with Lee, I was never sure if he was serious or not, so I didn’t know how to respond. I ducked my head and ate my fluffy pancakes aware of the awkward silence. When I rais
ed my head, both guys were frowning.

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing, there’s just a little activity at the front gate. Someone’s trying to deliver a parcel to us.”

  “How can you possibly know that?”

  Lee held up his phone, “Dev texted me.

  “Have you ordered something?”

  “No.”

  “Do you think Ted has something to do with it?”

  “Yes. Like I said he’s getting desperate.”

  “I don’t think I like this,” I said, feeling frightened. “We’re baiting a crazy person. Who knows how this is going to turn out.”

  “Ivy, we have security and protection all around us. Don’t worry.”

  “I’ll try not to worry, but I have a bad feeling about this,” I admitted. I pushed my plate away, knowing if I tried to eat anymore, I ran the risk of getting it stuck in my throat. “I’m just going to pop to the bathroom then I’ll be ready to help in the garden,” I said as I stood up.

  “Ivy,” Lee called.

  “Yeah?”

  “It will be fine. You’re not used to these kinds of situations, but we are. We’ve got you covered.”

  “I trust that you have, but you can’t predict what a desperate person will do. Even they don’t know until they do it,” I stated. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I told them as I made my way out of the room.

  I knew right to the bottom of my stomach that something was going to go wrong.

  They were talking so confidently about catching Ted. They weren’t worried at all. Their confidence should make me feel the same, but I just couldn’t. Nothing felt right, and with Maverick gone, I once again felt alone. I hated that a man I’d just met had that kind of power over me. I wanted to be able to rely on myself. I wanted to be the one in charge of my life. Soon, I promised myself, very soon, I’d leave all this behind. Being cooped up was driving me crazy, the first chance I got I was going to travel to all the wide-open spaces I could find.

  I used the bathroom and walked back towards the kitchen.

  “Ready?” I called Matt, who was standing by the sink.