by Angel Devlin
His cousin. That's who his staff thought I was.
Even then, I figured Ezra had his reasons and that he would tell the truth once we knew what was happening between us, but for now he'd just want us to be able to relax and enjoy ourselves without the paparazzi on our tail for information on the mystery British woman who'd turned up claiming the heart of one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelors.
Of course, as soon as I saw the man himself, all my doubts were gone. He worshipped me with his words and tongue, couldn't say enough how much he'd missed me. Couldn't claim me enough over and over.
But we couldn't see the sights because he'd be mobbed.
His phone rang on and off all day and all night.
I spent a large part of my time sitting in his luxury apartment missing home, missing my family, because movie star Ezra was here in full force whether he wanted to be or not.
He had renowned Michelin starred chefs cook for us, but as the days went on, I got more frustrated, until one day he said the words I'd always wanted to hear.
"Okay, so sorry for keeping you under wraps all week, but I actually had a surprise. It's the Noir Film Awards ceremony on Friday evening, and well, I'm hoping you'll be my guest on the red carpet. I would very much like to show everyone my gorgeous girlfriend."
My eyes had lit up and I'd squealed and run and hugged him, wrapping my legs around his waist.
Ezra talked of wardrobe and make-up and hair, but although that would be amazing, I didn't care. It was me and Ezra, showing the world our love.
And then two days later I'd found him with his head in his hands. His face white and strained and he told me he had to take a singer called Carrie Tigra instead of me. They wanted Carrie singing the theme tune to the movie he was currently filming and the only way she'd sign was if Ezra pretended they were a couple. He owed the movie's producer, he said. They'd given him a break in his acting career. He wouldn't be where they were without them and Carrie's involvement would take the film to the next level by her fans getting involved.
I was devastated and only wished I could climb into my own bed and cry. But Ezra actually did have tears rolling down his face while he cursed about ruined plans. Eventually, I lied and tried to reassure him that it was okay.
The day of the awards he told me he wouldn't eat much at the ceremony and he'd booked us into a very late dinner at Le Bernardin. I was to wear the dress I was due to wear on the red carpet. There were just two days before I had to leave for the U.K. and I couldn't see how we were any further forward in our relationship.
I still had the watch I'd bought for him in a drawer at home. He could afford the best designers had to offer now so I'd never given him the cheap watch I'd had engraved. But I'd not had the heart to ever throw it away either.
Friday came and I got ready while Ezra walked the red carpet with another woman. I kept telling myself it was his job, but inside I was angry. Angry at fate for not allowing Ezra and I the happy ever after we deserved. Why couldn't he be a movie star and me an ordinary woman and it just work out? Why did there have to be managers and contracts and paparazzi. But I knew the truth underneath. I just wanted to deny it to myself.
Ezra was no ordinary man. He was a movie star.
And I wanted an ordinary version. One that was there to sit at the dinner table and chat about our day. Who could bath our kids in the evening and tell them stories and take them to sports on a Sunday morning.
It would never happen.
And inviting me here to the US, I think Ezra had wanted to show me how I could fit in here instead. Live among his life. But the truth was interruptions, and satisfying requests by influential people in order to gain the next rung on the ladder, or be grateful for the one you'd just stepped off.
And if I joined him here, they wouldn't accept Willowfield Lisa, with her supermarket jeans and jumpers. They'd want me clad in designer clothes, with perfect make-up, and the press would constantly be asking what he saw in me. And they'd say I was fat because I wasn't a size zero and who the hell did my hair. And what would I do when he was filming? My life was back in Willowfield. It might be simple, working behind a bar, but it was reliable and I knew the routine.
This was my underlying mood while I sat at the private dinner table waiting for Ezra. My deciding that maybe love wasn't enough and we just needed to let each other go once and for all.
He'd hoped to get to me by eleven. But the hour came and went. At midnight I was starving and angry and I decided that regardless of whether or not he turned up I was going to enjoy a meal at this amazing restaurant. So I did. I chose things I'd never had the opportunity to eat before and may never again. A first course of sea urchins. A main course of filet mignon. I was awaiting dessert when the man himself rushed through the door.
Unfortunately, by then I'd seen the photos on my phone. Knew why he was late.
Had seen him in a clinch with Carrie Tigra.
One hand on her shoulder. The other around her waist. Their lips crushed together in a passionate embrace.
Her smiling a coy smile while saying 'No comment' when they asked if they were an item.
He stood there in front of me in his tux. He looked so handsome. But I didn't need a man in a tux, I needed a man in jeans and a t-shirt.
The waiter brought in my dessert, and seeing Ezra ran over to him to fuss. I took the opportunity to move towards the door. I didn't need my jacket. I just wanted out of there.
"Can you give us a moment please? There has been a delay as you can see with my original plans for the dinner."
"Of course, Sir. What would you like to drink? I'll be arranging that."
"A scotch please. It looks like my original plans have to be changed."
The waiter nodded and left.
"It's not what you think. God, what a mess this is." Ezra paced the room.
"It doesn't matter anymore," I announced.
"Of course it matters," he yelled and then he apologised. "This is so screwed up. You look absolutely beautiful and if this had just gone right, if life for once had just gone how it was fucking supposed to, then this moment, this evening would have been perfect. I just know it."
"Your acting skills are something else," I retorted coolly. "Anyone would believe that you really gave a shit about me, rather than were clearly screwing Carrie."
He staggered backwards.
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'm not screwing Carrie. She pulled a stupid stunt for the cameras, but it didn't mean anything. It's just more acting."
"And so tomorrow you'll tell the world about us?" I queried.
He sighed. "No, it'll need to be Sunday morning now which is shit timing. I want it to be right, you see, and tonight is not right, not anymore. So if we do this again, get dressed up again and I'll book somewhere else, somewhere even more magical."
"Have you even heard yourself? I'm done with this, Ezra. Whether you're really screwing her or not doesn't fucking matter. You live in a life of lies and I can't trust you. That's the sad fact."
"Trust in this." He started reaching into his inner jacket pocket.
"I don't care whatever you're going to show me on your phone. It's not going to work, Ezra. It doesn't work in Willowfield and it doesn't work here. We've tried. It's been years and we keep going around in circles. I'm so fucking done."
"Don't say that. I'll come back to Willowfield. As soon as my current contracts are fulfilled. Two years, that's all I need. We can visit each other and get through the next two years together. We've waited this long."
His phone rang and of course he had to take the call.
And while he did, I left.
But I didn't go with his driver.
I left in a cab, ran in and grabbed the essentials I needed from Ezra's apartment and Ieft. I watched from the back of my cab as Ezra pulled up at the front of his building, dashing out, his eyes frantic, but it was too late.
I caught an earlier flight and returned home.
I didn't speak to Ezra a
gain until he turned up at the Half Moon pub the same night his brother asked me on a date.
Chapter Eleven
Lisa
"It's all sorted. Cal was more than happy to let Jules go in his place. Sounded positively relieved in fact."
"Your brother is more of a behind the scenes guy, reserved. I think Jules however will love it. Seeing how it all works. Unless of course at the last minute they switch her out for an actress who needs a leg up or a leg over."
Ezra sat back down in the chair. "When they told me I had to take Carrie I was incensed. Not only with the producer, but with life. I had the whole thing planned out in my head, had since we decided you were coming to the states. I'd parade you down the red carpet and announce you as the love of my life. We'd look so amazing together. The awards would take place and if I won one I was dedicating it to you, and then that night I was going to take you home via Central Park, grab a carriage ride and propose to you under the stars." He shook his head and sucked on his front teeth.
"So I made a new plan. I'd not eat much. You'd still wear the dress. I'd still wear the tux and we'd enjoy a meal at one of the finest restaurants Manhattan had to offer and we'd have champagne and in yours would be an engagement ring and I'd drop to one knee and then I'd leave the restaurant showing my fiancée off to the world as we hurried home to celebrate beneath the sheets. But instead, Carrie grabbed me on the red carpet and kissed me. She was not supposed to do that. It took me by surprise and I couldn't create a scene because it would have shown it for the fake assery it was. I didn't realise how damning it looked and I certainly didn't expect you to not trust me."
"It wasn't a lack of trust that made me run," I confessed. "It was the realisation that we led incompatible lives."
"I'd thought fuck it. In desperation, I'd reached into my pocket for the ring, but you thought I was going for my phone to protest my innocence and I thought no, this isn't how this proposal happens, not in a moment of panic. I was set to do it all again the next day, but by then you were back in Willowfield."
"It's where I belonged. But not where you belonged."
"I didn't see my family for a long time then because it was too hard to think that if I came back and bumped into you, you might have got married to someone else, to have had their babies. I never asked about you because I didn't want to know the truth. I wanted you to be happy, but I couldn't face knowing it. It wasn't until Cal called me to tell me we had a half-brother that I decided I had to come back home. And then in the pub you arranged a date with my brother. I mean, what the fuck?"
I looked down at the floor and sucked in my bottom lip wondering whether or not to tell him the truth. I guessed that's where we were now, confessing everything.
"I agreed to go out on a date with him so I could quiz him about you, because apart from what I saw in the press I had no idea what was happening in your life."
"So I still want you and you clearly still want me so why aren't we together?" His voice was a pained plea.
"Because nothing has changed. Our lives are still worlds apart. You can't come back here and be plain old Ezra Waite. It would kill you. And I can't be over there alone while you're filming and unable to go out in case some crazed fan comes after me."
"We have to find a way, Lisa."
"Right now, you need to get to your premiere and be with your family. The story of us is not an added complication you need."
"Are you saying you don't want me, Lisa?"
I laughed half-heartedly. "Oh, Ezra, I've always wanted you; that's not the problem here. The problem is being with you makes me feel like I'm a ghost.”
"When I get back, come out with me, on a date. In public. Let's out ourselves."
"I don't know."
"Look, I've never been to a family bowling night. I hear they're legendary. Why don't we do that next Friday and just hang with the family and then take it from there? I'll let you decide if you want us to tell the others or not that we're together."
"That's the date? Family bowling night?"
"Well I tried a movie awards and a posh restaurant and we know how that turned out, so yeah, family bowling night seems a good start."
"It might be quite satisfying beating the superstar actor Ezra Waite."
He smiled and then his mouth downturned once more. "One last chance, Lisa. Please, let's give this one last chance."
I stood up. "I'd better be off. Have a great time at the premiere. Spoil Eli because he deserves it. And Angela is lovely, get the goss on her and your dad. If I don't see you before, I'll see you Friday night."
I made my way over to the front door and Ezra went to follow me. I turned and put my hand up. "Don't. Because taking myself away from you and to this door is unbelievably hard. But it's for the best today. We've waited this long, right?"
It was the wrong thing to say to Ezra. He was in my personal space within seconds. "I'm done fucking waiting, Lisa."
He picked me up, put me over his shoulder and carried me up the stairs. I'd like to say I protested, even a little, but a commanding, lust-fuelled Ezra had always been my weakness and to hell with it. While he walked the red carpet I'd dream about his hands on my skin and this time my memories would be recent, not years old.
Ezra lowered me onto the bed in the guest room. The one I'd slept alone in. The one he was sleeping alone in.
He stripped me of all my clothes, and I lay there bare before him. His eyes lingered over my body as he took in every inch of me and as his hand casually anchored on his hip, a radiant smile crossed his face.
"God, I've missed this. Missed you. I've craved this for years."
He removed his own clothing and laid next to me on the bed. He hooked my leg around him and grabbing my butt cheek he pulled me in close. I could feel his hard length between us. "You're my addiction, Lisa McKenzie. You always have been and always will be."
His voice was soft but sure, but as his mouth captured my own there was no gentleness, just a carnal hunger. He growled as he bit the edge of my lip, and as my mouth opened to accept his kiss, his tongue probed insistently until my own abandon matched his. My left hand went to the back of his neck, pulling him further against me. My right hand dipped between us, my fingers and palm around his cock, feeling how hard for me he was. I stroked him, my hands trailing up and down his length, taking in the feel of his soft, velvety skin and the hard veins, bulging under my fingertips, so ready for me.
Ezra's arm came against mine as his own fingers parted the flesh between my inner thighs. I was soaking wet for him. He pushed a digit inside me and I closed my eyes and moaned.
"Fuck. I need to be inside you. I can't wait."
I lined him up against me and he tilted his hips, surging forward. His cock dipped inside the entrance to my pussy and I thrust my own hips forward, using my foot against his arse cheek to bring him further in, until he was all the way inside me.
His mouth came back to claim mine and he moved slowly backwards and forwards while I kept my leg up around him helping him to keep the rhythm I needed. Ezra began to gyrate his hips and his pelvis pushed against my clit igniting a storm within me. I surrendered to the feelings my body was experiencing: the swell of my breasts, the tingle in my nipples. My hands trailed down Ezra's back and his left arm taking in his flexing muscles. My body began to build, tightening and ready to sail over the edge. Ezra recognised my movements as I began to tighten against his cock. His thrusts became harder. He rolled me underneath him and pushed my knee up. We were in danger of hitting the headboard and too far gone in each other to care. The bed creaked slightly as Ezra built to a ferocious crescendo. But I'd always liked a hard fuck and he knew it. I was lost in the sensations taking over my body and I felt Ezra’s butt cheeks clench. With a guttural roar he came inside me. His hips rolled against me over and over as he spent himself.
Then he kissed me again.
"I love you, Lisa McKenzie," he said. “Always have, always will.”
"I love you too, Ezra Waite."
We'd skirted around the words all these years, but it was the first time we'd declared them clearly and firmly to each other.
It all felt different and my heart yearned with the hope that this time could actually be our time.
I didn't leave his bed until the last possible moment when he had to get ready to travel down to London.
As I walked down his path and turned to get in my car, Quinn was just pulling up outside his house. He gave me a cheerful wave and so I walked to his van and waited for him to exit his vehicle.
"Well, hello, old neighbour. What's with the lack of a goodbye, huh?"
"I wasn't actually your neighbour. I lived two houses away."
"Semantics. We were mates, and then you just buggered off."
"You come into the pub where I work. I've hardly disappeared."
Quinn looked me over. "What just went on at Ezra's?"
I felt my cheeks heat.
"Ohhhh. Lise, you dark horse." He smirked.
"Sssh. No one knows."
He raised a brow. "If you leave his house smirking, with your hair all mussed and your eyes all dreamy and glazed, then everyone is going to know. So how long's that been going on, or is it all new?"
I sighed. "Ten years. On and off."
Quinn spluttered. "What?"
"It's a long story."
"One I want to hear. Come have dinner. I always make enough for two anyway. Usually have the rest for lunch the next day."
"I need to get showered and ready to go to the Moon."
"Haven't you just been sent into orbit? Seen stars?"
"You're funny. Come by later and get a pint. We can chat while everyone's busy with the quiz. You've a lot to be caught up on about your own crush's family."
"Okay. I'll catch you later. I want all of the details."
"I swear you're worse than any other gossip I've ever come across and I work in a bar." I laughed before walking back to my car.
