by Zavi James
Luc heaved a sigh. He did it more often these days, tired of me not answering his questions directly. I didn’t have the will to placate his every whim. This wasn’t his fault and I knew he was trying his hardest, but I just couldn’t find it in myself to cooperate with him.
"Okay. I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I love you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead before I was finally left in peace.
Luc had hovered a lot more over the past few days. He worried but I wasn't sure what he was worried about. I wasn't sure what he thought would happen. It was my father's funeral tomorrow, but I wasn't sure I was ready to watch him be lowered into the ground.
I needed to get away from everything. I needed to be alone. Living this life had removed me from my Dad. Surrounded by money and wanting for nothing felt like a betrayal to Dad and everything I was raised with.
It was like I was on autopilot when I started to push clothes into the bag I’d once brought with me when I first moved in with Luc. I started slowly but then I picked up the pace, pulling things out of the closet and drawers. I paused at my passport before I threw it into my bag as well. It wasn’t likely that I would need it, but who knew. I had enough money from when I had worked to get a flight. It might not be far, but it would be somewhere. Somewhere away from memories of Dad. Somewhere away from all the mess.
All I had done was cause issues from the moment I walked into Luc’s life. If I kept going, I’d lose everyone. We’d reach a point of no return and then what happened? Where would that leave us? I’d have destroyed everything just because I selfishly and incorrectly believed that I belonged here. Everything that had unfolded in the past few weeks had proven to me otherwise.
I ran down the stairs with my bag in hand and stopped in the hallway. The mirror that hung on the wall showed my reflection. I wasn't sure who I was right now. Dark circles under dead eyes set in a sunken face. Walking towards it, I gently raised a hand towards the glass and hesitated when I saw the ring on my finger.
That was a symbol of a promise I’d made but could no longer keep. I wrenched it off my finger, damaging the skin, but I barely registered the pain and placed it on the table. All that had happened since I’d arrived was problem after problem. Maybe Xavier had been right to dislike me. He was Luc's father. He wanted what was best for Luc just like my Dad had wanted the best for me.
I pulled the pad of paper and pen that sat on the table towards me.
Luc.
I didn't know what to tell him.
I'm sorry. I need to go. I need time and space. This isn't you so please don't blame yourself. I love you but I need to figure out what's going on in my head. Look after yourself.
Love always, Mia x
I picked my bag up off the floor and left the house without looking back.
Chapter Sixty Six
Lucas
“I’m sure she’ll appreciate everything you’ve done for her,” Xavier said as we walked back into the house.
The day had consisted of me making sure the final arrangements for Hector’s funeral were in order, ending with a trip to the church. Dante held the fort at work as he had been doing since I found Mia that night, so Xavier accompanied me. I needed someone to be there so that I didn’t lose my cool if orders hadn’t been followed the way I had given them.
Mia had sunk in on herself. I’d lost the vibrant woman with her fiery spirit, and as frustrated as I was that she barely wanted to say two words to anyone, I understood. I knew what it was like to lose a parent when you didn’t expect it. The grief she felt had been something I experienced years ago, and it would be a lie to say it had ever left. Grief of that magnitude didn’t leave, you just learned to live with it. You stopped allowing it to have as much control. Mia wasn’t quite there yet, but I’d do everything in my power to help her through this.
"Let me just go check on Mia," I told him. She was never far from my mind but that had only increased. I took the stairs two at a time and pushed open the door to our room. "Princess?"
The room was a mess. The doors to the closet were open, drawers on the floor but Mia wasn’t here. I stepped in and checked the bathroom.
"Mia?"
Realizing she wasn’t there either made the panic start to set in. I searched through the chaos of the room to see that her bag was gone and there were clothes missing. Frantically searching through the drawers, I found her passport was missing and my heart sank.
I ran back down the stairs to see Xavier still stood in the hallway. "She's taken some stuff," I said. "I don't understand. I don't know where she would go. Her passport's gone!"
I knew Mia hadn't taken any of this well. So much had happened, and now with Hector's death. There was a distinct difference between my experience and Mia’s. When my Dad had died, we were on good terms. To lose a parent when you weren't even speaking, after being close for so many years, must have cut so much deeper.
I pulled my keys out of my pocket. Mia couldn't have gotten that far. She had a few hours head start at most.
"Luc," Xavier said. When I turned to look at him, he stood there and Mia's engagement ring glinted in the light as he held it between his fingers.
Ripping it out of his grasp, I asked, "Where did you find this?"
"It was on the table." Xavier gestured to the table in the hallway and I strode over to it but there was nothing else there. The notepad was blank. No other things that belonged to her. Mia had taken her stuff and left her ring.
There was a time when I worried that Mia would leave me because of what my life was, but I thought they were past all that. I thought she had wanted to be a part of my life for good, but she'd left without a word.
I pulled my phone out and called her, but I could hear it in the kitchen. I needed to find her. She wasn’t thinking straight. She wouldn’t leave me like this, without a word. I went to push past Xavier in a bid to find her, but he caught me by the shoulders.
"Luc," he said gently. He let go of my shoulders and stuffed his hands into his pocket.
"I need Mia," I told him. "I need to find her."
"Luc! Maybe this is for the best," Xavier said to me.
"What?"
"Mia... she never really belonged in our world."
There was a flash of anger that filled my chest. "Move!"
Xavier stepped aside and I walked out of the house. I heard him call after me, "She made a choice, Luc. She chose to leave you."
Those words hit me hard. Those words stayed with me throughout the day when we found one of my cars abandoned at the side of the road. Through her father's funeral the next day where Mia didn't turn up.
If Mia wanted to stay, if she believed in us as much as I did, then she would have stayed. She'd always had her reservations about what I did for a living, but the loss of Hector seemed to be a step too far. Her father’s death had been what broke us. I could have accepted it easier if she had spoken to me, given me some explanation to what was going through her head, but she had left without a word and ripped my heart from my chest.
"Luc, where do you want to start?" Dante asked as he stood in front of me after the funeral. We had all returned to the house.
"We don't," I told him simply.
"What?!"
"She wanted out. She has it."
If Mia wanted to leave after everything I’d done for her, then fine. I had thought she was the one. I’d thought she felt the same. But she had chosen to break us apart and thought I didn’t even deserve to have a say in it.
"Luc," Dante said, looking distraught. "You can't mean that."
"I do. She made a choice."
"But Mia..."
"I don't want to hear her fucking name in this house!" I shouted.
"Luc... you love Mia."
In a flash, I had Dante pinned against the wall by his throat. "I said, I don't want her mentioned in this house again. Do you understand?"
Dante nodded the best he could before I let him go. He rubbed at his throat and then straightened up, but didn't c
hance another word. I had lost myself when I met her. I’d given into every vulnerability just to have her by my side. Mia had been my sole focus and everything I did from that point was to impress her and keep her happy. That had never been me. I had always put myself first and this was the reason why.
If Mia could erase me out of her life so easily, then I could and would do the same.
“As far as I’m concerned, Mia Griffin doesn’t exist.”
To Be Continued…
Mia and Luc’s story continues in Regrets & Revenge - released in February 2021.
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About The Author
Zavi James
Zavi James spends most of her time rushing around a laboratory and trying to make people believe she has her life in order. After a near death experience, she decided to flex her fingers and take a stab at writing as that had always been her childhood dream. Now, she splits her time between experiments and fictional worlds and enjoys getting people to swoon and cry over her creations.
When she’s not writing and working, Zav can be found traveling across the world in a bid to find inspiration and unleashing her chaos on social media.
Acknowledgement
Alhumdullilah. I am forever thankful to God for blessing me with the opportunity, strength and ability to finish this book.
I’d like to thank my parents who have supported me with every decision I have made in my life including this one. You share my excitement over these achievements, and it makes my heart swell. I am lucky to call you Mam and Dad and I am thankful that you have my back as I embark on these new ventures.
My baby sister, I’ll never know why you put up with the madness. Thank you for listening to my half-baked voice notes and yelling at me to edit. This book was completed on time thanks to your insistence that I get on with it. You have always told me to dream big and it’s down to you that I find the courage to chase after the things I want.
I have to give a massive thank you to Sheri from Light Hand Proofreading. You are an absolute star for taking Luc and Mia and polishing them for me and sharing your excitement for the story. You aren’t just an amazing editor, but a fantastic person and I look forward to working with you in the future.
Rachel, if it weren’t for you Luc and Mia may never have finished their journey. My deepest, heartfelt thanks go to you for your essay style comments on the very first draft of this story. From those early morning/late night messages as we figured out how characters would react to making you an accomplice in my plot twists, you have never said no. I never imagined that writing would have led to me finding my big sister across the pond but I am blessed to have you in my life.
Sarah, my soul sister, this acknowledgement section would be nowhere near complete without thanking you. You have stood by me through tears and laughter and always given it to me straight. Thank you for never sugar coating it and always pushing me to be my best. Thank you for beta reading every single page I send your way and thank you for being a wonderful human being. 143 always, boo.
Lizzy, Tori, Katie and Kelly – what am I meant to say? I have never met a more supportive and loving group of women. Thank you for the memes, the belief and the love. On my lowest days, you have picked me up and kept me going. Words cannot describe how deep my gratitude runs for you ladies.
It would be unacceptable of me not to give an honourable mention to a group of goats. Advice, support, truth – whatever was needed, goats are always there to dish it out.
Lastly, to every reader who has been with me from the start, I owe you everything. It’s because of you that I made the decision to publish. Your enthusiasm and encouragement have always meant the world to me and I hope I have done you all proud. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
