Saving Me

by Scarlett Haven

  I wonder if he slept easier at night, knowing what he did to me.

  Knowing that I was being abused and starved.

  I wonder if the woman who raised me sent him updates, and if he smiled every time he knew that I was being punished again.

  That bastard deserves to pay.

  I hear a noise at my door and watch as somebody pushes my door open. For a moment I worry that it’s Steven, but if he was in the house, he would have no need to sneak around. I watch as Sebastian walks in, leaving the door open behind him.

  “Hey,” he says.

  I scoot over on my bed, making room for him.

  Dad technically didn’t say he couldn’t sleep in here. He just said that I had to leave my door open if he was in here. And there is zero percent chance of me sleeping tonight unless Sebastian is in my room.

  Sebastian comes and lies down beside me, we face either other. I don’t think we will be able to sleep for a bit, anyway.

  “Do you think your dad will kill me if I stay here tonight?” he asks.

  “I think he would understand, given the circumstances,” I say, though I’m not certain if that’s true. He probably would be mad. But tonight, I need him to make an exception. I need Sebastian to be here.

  He’s more than just my boyfriend.

  Boyfriend seems like such a minor word compared to what Sebastian is to me.

  He is my everything.

  My soulmate.

  “Are we still going to go to Disney World?” he asks.

  I love that he’s not bringing up tomorrow.

  Neither of us will.

  We’d rather pretend.

  If tonight is our last night together, we are going to enjoy it.

  “I want to,” I say. “After we graduate, I want it to be the first thing we do.”

  “And so, it will be.”

  I scoot closer to him, just so I can feel his warmth.

  “Your feet are so cold,” he says.

  “You have to warm them up for me.”

  “That’s the only reason I’m not pulling away,” he says. “You might not have been spoiled when I first met you, but you are certainly spoiled now.”

  I grin. “Only because you spoil me.”

  “I am going to spend the rest of my life treating you like the princess you are.”

  My heart.

  He owns it.

  Completely.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” he says.

  Sebastian is one in a billion.

  And somehow, he’s mine.

  “I’m so lucky,” I say.

  “Why?”

  “Because of you,” I say. “Because somehow, you love me, too. It still blows my mind.”

  “I’m lucky because you still like me despite the fact that I treated you horribly,” he says. “I pretended to hate you. And then once I couldn’t pretend, I still pushed you away because I thought that would somehow keep you safe.”

  “That doesn’t matter anymore,” I say, putting my hand against the side of his face.

  I really just want to touch him and be close to him.

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to hold this against me for the rest of our lives?” he asks. “We’ll be eighty and you’ll be bringing up how big of a douche I was when we first met.”

  I laugh. “It’ll be a good story to tell our grandchildren someday.”

  “How many kids do you want?” he asks.

  My eyes widen. “I don’t know. I’m only eighteen. I haven’t thought about kids yet.”

  “Not until we’re twenty-seven,” he says.

  “It seems like such a long time from now, but it’s only nine years,” I say.

  “It’ll be here before we know it.”

  “I want at least two kids,” I say. “Just so my kids have somebody else to play with.”

  “Two is a good number,” he says. “But what if we have two boys or two girls? Will you want to have a third?”

  “Nah,” I say. “I don’t really care if they’re boys or girls or one of each.”

  “Me, either,” he says.

  “I’m scared.”

  “I am, too. But only that somehow I’m going to lose you.”

  “That’s what I’m worried about, too,” I say. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Sebastian.”

  “We aren’t going to have to worry about that,” he says. “You and I have lost enough because of my dad. Especially you. You deserve happiness.”

  “We deserve to be happy,” I say.

  “And we will be,” he says.

  He leans closer, gently kissing my lips. Just a peck, but it’s enough.

  I wonder if this is how my mom and dad felt about each other. They must have had strong feelings, considering they were only eighteen. They ran off and got married on my mom’s eighteenth birthday. It was never out of rebellion. It was out of love.

  “Do you think Steven ever loved your mom?” I ask.

  “I think he only ever saw her as a means to an end,” he answers. “He never treated her well. She was just blinded by her own love for him. At least, that is what she’s told me. I don’t actually remember what life was like with him.”

  “But you remember me?” I ask. “You remember us hanging out?”

  “Yeah. It’s weird, I know,” he says. “But I don’t think my dad was around much as a kid.”

  That’s probably a good thing.

  “Sebastian?”

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re going to be okay. We have to be.”

  “And we will be,” he says.

  And for some reason, I believe it.

  Somehow, against all odds, I fall asleep with my head resting against Sebastian’s chest.

  Wednesday, January 17

  Mistake.

  I wake up to a loud, wailing sound. I immediately recognize the sound as a tornado siren—I’ve heard it enough times in movies before a tornado or a tsunami comes and wipes out the entire city.

  Sebastian abruptly sits up. It’s then that I realize what has happened.

  Steven has come.

  My heart starts to race.

  “Are you okay?” Sebastian asks.

  I nod.

  “We have to move,” he says, getting up.

  He has a pair of tennis shoes that he was wearing last night by the bed. I grab my shoes from by the door and start putting them on.

  Last night, Dad instructed us that we should all be prepared for anything. It’s why I went to bed wearing clothes that I can do anything in—fight, run, or even hide, if I have to.

  I’m wearing a pair of black leggings and a black hoodie, which happen to be a huge part of my wardrobe lately. It’s cold outside, so I slip on a pair of fingerless gloves and a jacket over my hoodie.

  Sebastian passes me a gun. It’s a small gun, but it’s heavy. I think it’s a Glock, but I’m not certain. I know how to shoot it, but that doesn’t mean I know a lot about the differences in guns. Learning how to use it felt more urgent.

  “Remember, don’t cock it unless you’re ready to shoot,” Sebastian says. “There is no safety.”

  I grin at him. “I’ve got this.”

  If there is one thing I am good at, it’s shooting guns. I mean, there is always room for improvement, but every time Sebastian and I have gone to a shooting range, I always hit my target. I know it will be different out there, when we’re moving and fighting, but now is not the time to doubt my confidence.

  “I know you do,” he says. He leans over and kisses me quickly on the lips before he grabs my hand and pulls me behind him.

  It’s quiet outside the house. The sirens have stopped going off and there is nothing. I’m not sure if I prefer the sirens over the silence.

  When Sebastian and I get to the living room, I see nearly everybody is standing there, waiting for our orders from Dad. I hear somebody else running down the stairs and look over to see Sander running down.

  “Everybody read
y?” Dad asks.

  “Yes, sir,” a few of the guys say.

  He looks at me. “You stay with Sebastian no matter what.”

  “I will,” I say.

  He turns to Sebastian. “Protect her.” He turns to the rest of the group. “Serenity and Sebastian are the targets. You all know what to do. I want to put an end to this once and for all.”

  I feel like I’m missing something—like maybe he has a plan that I have been left out of. But right now is not the time to question that. Whatever my dad has chosen to tell me or not tell me, I know it is for a reason. I trust his judgment.

  “They’re at the front gate, trying to head this way,” Dad says. “We will meet them.”

  We all run out of the house. If the sirens going off didn’t wake me up, the cold air outside certain does. We all pile into three different SUV’s. I get in the back of one with Sebastian; Sander and Gage are in the front.

  Sebastian hasn’t let go of my hand since we left my room and I am glad about that. I’ve never been so scared in my life, but somehow, he makes me feel brave.

  We drive about five minutes, nearly to the front gate.

  Steven and his ‘army’ haven’t gotten far.

  I don’t know why I expected anything different.

  This is Spy School. And my dad is the most prepared man I have ever met.

  We can win this.

  We’re going to be okay.

  As I am about to get out of the car, a loud boom goes off and the air is filled with smoke and debris. My heart lurches as I see the destruction in its wake. But the most terrifying part of it all is that I see Steven’s army is much bigger than the few in front of us.

  Sebastian gets out of the SUV, pulling me with him.

  “Stay with me,” he says. “Hold onto my jacket. I need my hands.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  “Cock your gun and have it ready,” he says.

  Outside the vehicle, I’m not as brave.

  There are guns going off and it smells like gun powder and smoke. I hear a few screams, though I’m not sure which side the screams are from.

  I look around, looking for the real target, but so far Steven is nowhere to be seen.

  Well, what did I expect? He’s stayed hidden his whole life, too scared to ever face my father.

  Sebastian stiffens and stops walking. He aims his gun at something.

  No, at somebody.

  “Nolan,” I say.

  He’s got both of his hands up.

  “Hey, Serenity,” he says.

  “Don’t look at her,” Sebastian says, still pointing his gun right at Nolan.

  Nolan turns from me to Sebastian. He looks awfully calm for somebody who has a gun aimed at his head.

  “You have a lot of nerve coming here,” Sebastian says.

  “Unlike your father, I’m not a coward,” Nolan says.

  Sebastian doesn’t even flinch at the mention of Steven. “Where is he?”

  “He will be here soon enough,” he says.

  “And you’ve come to die first?”

  “I’m just here to do my job,” Nolan says.

  “And what’s your job?”

  “To distract you,” a voice says from behind me.

  I feel something hard press against my head.

  I don’t have to look to see that Steven has a gun to my head.

  I just breathe, trying to remain calm. If I am going to die by Steven’s hands, I am not going to let him see my fear first.

  “Drop your gun,” Sebastian says, now aiming his gun at Steven.

  Nolan is no longer the target we are worried about.

  “You and I both know if you pull the trigger, your girlfriend is dead,” Steven says. “Serenity, back away from Sebastian.”

  I look at Sebastian and see him nodding at me.

  I have to do what he says.

  I back up until I hit something—or somebody. Steven puts an arm around me, holding me against him. He removes the gun from my head, aiming it at his own son. Now that he’s got a hold of me, there is no need to point the gun at me, anymore.

  “This could’ve gone a lot simpler,” he says. “All you had to do was come with me. You could’ve been happy. You would’ve had your girlfriend. And you would’ve been with me. But the first chance you get, you come running back here.”

  “This is where I belong,” Sebastian says. “It’s where you once belonged, too.”

  “I never belonged here,” Steven says. “I was never meant to be in the shadow of Michael Sinclair.”

  He’s talking.

  Mistake number 1.

  My dad always told me that you never hesitate.

  Shoot first, ask questions later.

  He hasn’t even looked to see that I have a gun in my hand.

  It’s Sebastian or him.

  And I will choose to save my friends every time.

  “Is that what you think? That somehow Michael stole your spotlight? You really are sick...”

  I pull on Steven’s arm, doing the move that Sebastian and I have practiced thousands of times. And I don’t hesitate once I am loose. I point the gun at him and pull the trigger. Since I am standing so close to him, blood splatters on my face.

  He looks down at his chest, and then at me. His eyes roll to the back of his head before he falls over.

  My legs give out from under me and I go down, too.

  I just shot a man.

  I look at his chest to see if he’s breathing. He is, but barely. The red stain on his shirt is getting bigger.

  Sebastian.

  This is his dad.

  How can he ever forgive me?

  I turn around to look for him, but I don’t see him. I see Nolan pressing something against Sebastian’s stomach, red staining it.

  Did Steven shoot Sebastian?

  Black swims around my vision, the ringing in my ears getting louder. I have the sensation of my head moving, before there is nothing.

  Over.

  My alarm is going off, but I’m too tired to open my eyes. I can’t for the life of me remember what I’m supposed to be doing, but I know it’s important. And I am trying to open my eyes; it’s just... impossible.

  I give myself away to sleep just a little bit longer. Certainly, whatever is happening can wait.

  I am jolted awake by a memory.

  Sebastian.

  My eyes open, and I hear the alarm beside me get faster and louder. Only, I realize it’s not an alarm—it’s a heart monitor.

  “Serenity, everything is okay.”

  I look up and see my dad.

  “Sebastian,” I say, trying to sit up.

  It’s no use to try. I’m too weak. And even if I wasn’t, Dad puts a hand to my shoulder so I can’t move.

  “He’s okay,” he says. “He went to grab some food. Well, I ordered him to. And even that he fought against. He won’t be gone long.”

  “But he was shot,” I say.

  Or I think he was.

  My memory is a bit hazy.

  “And Nolan had him,” I say.

  Or did he?

  Nolan was pressing something to Sebastian’s wound.

  Was Nolan... helping?

  “Serenity, I asked Nolan to help Steven,” Dad says.

  “What?” I ask. “I’m so confused. Where is Steven? Is he in custody?”

  Another memory breaks through.

  “I shot him,” I say, my chest suddenly heavy with guilt. “I killed him, didn’t I?”

  “We tried to save him, but it was too late,” he says.

  I feel something wet on my face and I realize that I’m crying. I know I shouldn’t cry over Steven, he was a monster, but I killed him. I took his life. Doesn’t that make me just as much of a monster as he was?

  But he was pointing his gun at Sebastian. I couldn’t let him hurt Sebastian.

  “You did good,” Dad says. “I am so proud of you. What you did was hard, but necessary. Sebastian told me that without you, he would be dead
. He said you fought well.”

  I smile at his compliment, despite the tears.

  “Is Sebastian hurt?” I ask.

  “No,” Dad says. “A bullet grazed is side. Just a few stitches. He refused to even take any pain medicine because he didn’t want to let you out of his sight.”

  I laugh.

  That sounds like Sebastian.

  “While I appreciate his concern for your safety, I don’t like that he is so intense with my teenaged daughter.”

  “I’m eighteen,” I say. “You and mom were married at my age. And probably pregnant with me.”

  “You’d better not be pregnant,” Dad says.

  “No,” I say, biting my lip to keep from smiling.

  “Don’t think I didn’t notice he snuck into your room last night,” he says.

  “Sebastian is a gentleman,” I say. “And we left the door open. I promise, nothing happened. He was just worried about me because of Steven.”

  “Which is why I let it slide, but it will not happen again.”

  I want to laugh, but I don’t think that will help my dad feel better. Instead, I decide to change the subject.

  “So... is it really over now?” I ask. “Are we safe?”

  “One thing that I’ve learned being raised here is that it’s never truly over,” Dad says. “While we may have won this round, there are many more battles to be fought. And if we don’t fight them, who will?”

  “I just mean... is Sebastian safe now?”

  “Yes,” Dad answers. “He is safe. You are safe.”

  “And his family?” I ask.

  “For the first time, they don’t have to hide anymore,” he says. “And it’s all because of you.”

  “I killed a man.”

  “You did,” he says. “But when you pulled the trigger, you weren’t wanting to take his life. You just wanted to protect Sebastian. That instinct is what makes you good at your job. And the fact that you feel remorse right now makes you human. Steven never felt guilty for his kills. He never mourned. Even when we worked together, he said they did bad things, so they deserved death.”

  “It shouldn’t be my choice to decide if they’re worthy of death,” I say. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I just reacted. It was... instinct.”

  “You have good instincts,” Dad says. “And this fight is over. After they saw that Steven was dead and Nolan was on our side, the rest of Steven’s team surrendered. They’re in custody and will be going to a high security prison in Russia.”