From Best Friend to Fiancée

by Ellie Darkins

  She listened and waited as Jannes’s breathing slowed and deepened. The soft hairs on his thigh tickled her sensitive skin and she bit her lip to stop herself sighing. She had to keep her eye on the prize here. And the prize was unquestionably extracting herself from this situation without doing something that couldn’t be taken back. Without doing something that would lose her Jannes for ever.

  But it was so tempting not to fight this. Just go back to sleep with her body smooshed up against Jannes’s. To wait for them both to wake up like this and...allow the inevitable to happen.

  But then what if she started to feel...more for Jannes? And he’d inevitably start to pull away—she’d seen him with girls before; she knew his MO too well to question what would happen. And she would be left, leaving her hurt and confused—and without her best friend there to help put her back together. She was smarter than that. Too smart to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

  She took a final deep breath, pulled her leg back and breathed a long sigh of relief. She’d done it, and Jannes hadn’t even twitched. She was so close to being free from him.

  Except she wasn’t, was she? Because even when she was out of his bed she was still in his life. She’d agreed to date him. To bring him to family parties, to show up on red carpets and photo calls with him. She could do that as a friend. As long as they were doing it in separate beds from now on.

  She pulled her arm out from underneath him and rolled towards the edge of the bed, her eyes on Jannes to see if he would wake. Nothing. Not even a twitch. She let out her held breath in a rush and darted from the bedroom, knowing how dangerous it would be to stay.

  * * *

  Jannes woke to unfamiliar surroundings, unable to shake the feeling that he had lost something important. It was only as he clicked where he was—the honeymoon suite of the Liverpool hotel—that he realised what was missing: Lara. He sat up in bed, looking round until he heard movement in the next room and realised she must be up already. No wonder he’d slept in later than her. He’d been awake half the night, listening to her breathing beside him, fighting the urge to deconstruct their pillow barrier and pull her close.

  She had fallen asleep while they were still bickering good-naturedly about the relative merits of the slime-balls on the dating show that they’d both admitted to liking. And then she’d snored on, oblivious to the fact that they were in bed together.

  Had she felt awkward when she’d woken up this morning? Was that why she was in the next room instead of lounging in bed, taking advantage of the opportunity for a lazy Sunday morning? He swung himself out of bed and pulled on jeans from his bag. Lara was in the sitting room of their suite, coffee in hand as she listened to the radio, head tipped back against the sofa, eyes closed.

  ‘You’re still tired,’ he said, leaning against the doorway and watching her. Her eyes snapped open and he thought for a second that she was going to spill her coffee, but somehow she managed to rescue it. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Was I hogging the duvet?’

  They could make light of this. They could pretend that they could share a bed without it meaning anything, as if they were the simply platonic friends that they had always told each other they were. He didn’t know why he had brought up the subject of their sleeping arrangements at all when it was clearly so much simpler if they both pretended that they had never shared a bed, but it just felt like...something that needed acknowledging. It was too big to ignore.

  She let her eyes drift back closed. ‘It’s fine. Just a late night. Wasn’t expecting the raucous after-party.’

  He laughed and crossed the room, prising her coffee cup from her hand. ‘I’m just getting you a refill,’ he said at her squawked protest. ‘You should go back to bed for a bit,’ he added, placing the coffee on the table beside her. ‘Now that I’m up.’

  ‘It’s okay, I’m awake now. Won’t be able to get back to sleep.’

  He laughed again. ‘Right. You look very awake.’

  She opened one eye. ‘Don’t start. So what have you—?’ she started to ask, when his phone started ringing.

  He glanced at the screen. ‘It’s Mormor,’ he said. ‘I should get this.’

  ‘Tell her I say hi,’ Lara said with a smile of genuine affection, eyes drifting back closed.

  ‘Hej, Mormor,’ he said, answering the phone.

  * * *

  Lara listened to the sing-song of Jannes speaking Swedish. She’d picked up a few phrases over the course of her friendship with him, but nowhere near enough to follow when he was speaking rapid-fire to his grandmother. He was agitated, she realised. His smile was fixed in place and his tone was still cheerful. But somehow unnaturally so. She wished she knew what he was saying. And, for that matter, why she kept hearing her own name every time his eyes slid over to her.

  He hung up the phone and then pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like a teenager who knew he was about to get into trouble with his parents. Or his stern Swedish grandmother.

  ‘Jannes? What have you done?’ she asked, not sure whether she was more amused or worried by the expression on his face.

  ‘That was Mormor,’ he said, his expression bleak.

  ‘I know. What’s wrong?’

  ‘She saw us—pictures from last night.’

  Lara shrugged. ‘So what? I mean, I didn’t think she would have seen them already, but pictures of us was kind of the point, right?’

  ‘Apparently she follows you on Instagram. I thought I’d have a chance to talk to her before she found out.’

  Lara nodded, still not quite seeing what the problem was. ‘And this—’ she gestured at him, his bleak expression and anxious posture ‘—is because she thinks we’re together?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Jannes, just tell me or I’m going to start panicking.’

  ‘She summoned us for lunch,’ he said in an ominous tone. ‘Today.’

  ‘Today? I was going to—I need to study.’

  What she actually wanted to say was that she needed space. Distance. To catch her breath and try not to think about waking up stuck to Jannes like a barnacle. An impromptu lunch with his grandmother didn’t exactly fit in to that plan.

  ‘I tried to argue,’ Jannes said, ‘but she was...quite persistent. Apparently that’s not the way she should find out that...’

  ‘What?’

  He frowned. ‘It’s hard to translate.’

  ‘Try,’ Lara said through gritted teeth, and Jannes shook his head, giving in.

  ‘To find out that I’ve stopped being an idiot and...’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And finally seen what was staring me in the face all this time.’

  Lara stared, not sure what to say. ‘Jannes...’

  ‘I know.’

  She softened towards him, knowing how much his grandmother meant to him. ‘You don’t have to lie to your family just because I’m lying to mine. It’s not as if Mormor is going to go to the papers. You can just tell her the truth.’

  ‘I know. I know that. And I tried to explain that it’s not what it seems but... I don’t know what happened...she somehow just refused to hear it.’

  ‘Well, you can explain properly when you go to lunch.’

  ‘We’re going to lunch.’

  Lara frowned at him. ‘She’s not my grandmother. She can’t make me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, are we back in the playground?’ Jannes asked, clearly frustrated. ‘Of course she can’t make you. But she isn’t going to believe me if I go on my own. She’ll convince herself that I’m over-complicating things and I should settle down and produce offspring immediately. Trust me, she already laid the groundwork on the phone. If we’re both there she can’t insist that we’re both wrong about whether we’re together or not.’

  She shook her head. How had she ever expected dating Jan
nes—even fake dating him—to be simple? ‘You know this is ridiculous, don’t you?’ she said. ‘I have other friends, Jannes, quite a few of them, and I’ve never had to go for Sunday lunch to convince any of their grandmothers that I’m not sleeping with them.’

  He smiled, and somehow that felt like a victory. ‘It’s not my fault you’ve led such a sheltered life, is it?’ he said.

  She threw a cushion at him. ‘God. Fine. I’ll come. But only because your grandmother is absurd. I cannot believe I’m agreeing to this.’

  He walked over, all fluid and graceful and disgustingly composed, and placed the cushion back beside her. ‘You’re the best,’ he said, nudging her feet so she’d make room for him on the sofa. ‘I told her we’d be leaving in an hour and would get a car straight to hers.’

  She sat abruptly upright. ‘Jesus, Jannes. An hour? Straight to hers? I’ve got to go home and change.’

  ‘No, you don’t.’

  ‘I’m wearing your T-shirt. I slept in this T-shirt. It’s hardly going to convince her that we’re just good friends.’

  He settled further into the corner of the sofa and took her coffee off her, stealing a sip before placing it on the end table. ‘Well, you must have brought other clothes.’

  ‘I brought getting a cab back home clothes. Not going for lunch with your eccentric grandmother clothes. Jannes, I can’t—’

  ‘Stop. You’re perfect.’

  He cut her off and she stared at him for a moment, not quite sure where her next thought was supposed to come from when her brain had just turned to mush in the space between one word and the next.

  ‘I mean—I just meant—you’ll be fine. Whatever you wear.’

  ‘Fine?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Cool, so they were just going to not talk about the perfect thing. That was a good idea. It was just a slip of the tongue. Or something you just say to a mate. They were on their way to go convince his mormor—the person he was closest to in the world—that they weren’t really together. If she ever needed an ego check, well, there was one ready-made.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘I CAN’T BELIEVE I’m doing this in ratty old jeans,’ Lara said as they climbed the stairs towards Mormor’s apartment. She lived across two floors of an old town house in west London, with a view of the gated garden to the front through the big Georgian windows, and out to a little mews at the back, with Farrow & Ball painted doors and bay trees in tubs outside each house.

  ‘Should I point out that I’m also wearing jeans?’ Jannes asked. ‘Or will that get me in trouble?’

  Lara rolled her eyes. ‘She dotes on you—you can wear what you like. I’m meant to be making a good impression.’

  Or at least that was what it felt like. The whole thing had a decidedly meet the parents feel to it. Which was ridiculous, truly, because she had known Mormor for years and they were here to announce that they weren’t a couple. But still.

  ‘Mormor loves you,’ Jannes said. ‘You know that.’

  Well, Lara certainly loved Mormor, that much was true. She was mischievous and sharp and wry. And Lara still hadn’t quite got the knack of knowing if she was one hundred per cent joking or not at any time. But she still couldn’t shake these nerves.

  ‘Hmm, we’ll see if she still feels that way about me when she finds out I’m not really making an honest man out of you.’

  ‘She doesn’t think that we’re getting married. It’s not that far out of hand.’

  Lara shuddered at the thought of things between her and Jannes getting that far—the certainty that she would end up losing him if they did.

  ‘Well, that’s a relief at least.’

  ‘Ready?’ Jannes asked, and then knocked on the door. Lara set her shoulders, not sure why she felt as if she were going into battle.

  ‘Älskling!’ Mormor announced, throwing open the door. ‘And you brought Lara with you. You’re a good boy.’

  She pinched his cheek and Lara smothered a laugh at the grimace on Jannes’s face. ‘You two have made an old woman very happy. I knew you couldn’t be so stupid for ever. I can’t believe it’s taken you so long to work out that you’re perfect for one another.’

  Jannes threw Lara a look that was pure I told you so as they walked through the apartment to the elegant living room.

  ‘Like I explained on the phone, Mormor,’ Jannes said, his voice slow and deliberate. ‘Lara and I are just friends. We were pretending to be a couple for...for a few reasons, but we’re not really together.’

  Mormor narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I saw a picture of you kissing her. Are you telling me you go around kissing women who are not your girlfriend?’

  Well, that sent him a delightful shade of pink, Lara thought, watching him squirm with embarrassment.

  ‘Like I keep saying, that wasn’t real.’

  ‘I imagined it? I didn’t see you kiss? Are you trying to make me think I’m going senile?’

  ‘No, of course not. We did kiss, but—’

  ‘So you are friends who kiss sometimes. She is your girlfriend,’ Mormor declared, as if that settled the matter. ‘Now, Lara, I need you to tell me everything and explain in great detail because Jannes has told me nothing.’ She tutted and Lara felt a lurch of dread in her stomach.

  ‘Mormor,’ Lara said as they followed Mormor through to the kitchen, watched her fill a coffee pot from the tap and add heaped scoops of coffee. ‘I’m really not his girlfriend. I’m sorry if we’ve disappointed you.’

  ‘Oh, you kids, always overcomplicating things.’ Mormor threw her hands up in an expression of exasperation as she reached into a high cupboard for cups and saucers. ‘Jannes. If I say she’s your girlfriend, she’s your girlfriend. Now, who is going to drink coffee with me?’

  ‘Some help you were,’ Jannes said under his breath as Mormor bustled around them, taking a tin of cinnamon buns from the cupboard and swearing colourfully when she couldn’t find the milk jug.

  ‘I told her!’ Lara whispered back. ‘It’s not my fault she didn’t want to listen.’

  ‘No, you’re right,’ Jannes said, shaking his head, the picture of dejection. ‘It’s my fault for yesterday. For thinking that something like this would be simple.’

  She hated when Jannes looked dejected. It just made her want to comfort him. To make him feel better. In all sorts of ways that would lead to nothing but trouble for them both. So she kept things on track.

  ‘It’s your fault for thinking that you know better than Mormor whether I’m your girlfriend? I don’t think you can really take the blame for that. So what do we do?’ They threw a look over to Mormor, where she was arranging the coffee things on a silver tray on the kitchen island.

  ‘We drink the coffee and eat the pastries, I suppose,’ he said. ‘Try and show her that she’s made a mistake.’

  Lara crossed her arms in front of her body. ‘How do we prove that we’re not together? It’s not like we would be going at it on the kitchen counter either way.’

  He spluttered in surprise and Lara laughed. ‘Oh, close your mouth, Jannes,’ she whispered. ‘You’re so easily shocked. It makes it impossible not to tease you. You’re adorable.’

  He threw a look to make sure Mormor wasn’t listening and then crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. ‘Adorable?’

  ‘You still have a problem with adorable?’ Lara asked with a smile.

  ‘It’s not very manly.’

  ‘Ah—’ She laughed quietly ‘—and you want to impress me with your manliness?’

  ‘Stop flirting, you two,’ Mormor interrupted, lifting up the tray with an ominous clinking of china. ‘Anyone would think you are boyfriend and girlfriend.’

  ‘We weren’t flirting,’ Jannes and Lara protested together.

  ‘Right, and the Pope doesn’t wear a hat,’ Mormor said. ‘Enough talking anyway. Jannes,
I need your help in the kitchen. Lara, make yourself at home, my dear. I’ll have your man back to you in a moment.’

  ‘I’m not—’

  ‘He’s not—’

  * * *

  ‘How can you just refuse to believe two people who say they’re not together?’ Jannes asked in the car later, for what felt like the millionth time. He was pinching the bridge of his nose in that way he always did when he was tired, and it was reassuring to know that she wasn’t the only one feeling the after-effects of their late-night Love Island binge. It had been gone two o’clock when she had finally given in to sleep.

  ‘If anyone is up to the task it’s Mormor. Do you think she really didn’t believe us or was she just winding us up?’

  ‘I don’t know how you cannot believe it when you have the both of us there telling her we made the whole thing up.’

  Lara nodded; she’d been thinking the same thing. ‘So she’s winding us up. Any idea why, other than to torture us?’

  ‘Honestly, when it comes to Mormor it’s anyone’s guess. So...what do you think?’

  ‘What do I think about what?’

  Jannes gestured to her, and them himself. ‘About this whole dating thing. Fake dating.’

  ‘I don’t really get where this is going, Jannes.’

  ‘I was just wondering if it’s something that you’re still happy to continue,’ he said, looking a little awkward. He looked it; she felt it. She wasn’t sure that this was at all a good idea.

  ‘Even after all this with Mormor?’ she asked, going for the easy excuse, the one that didn’t give away too much about what she felt.

  ‘She’s clearly going to believe whatever she wants, regardless of what we say or do,’ Jannes said. ‘So maybe we should just do what’s best for us.’

  She raised an eyebrow. ‘And you’re still sure that’s pretending to date?’

  ‘Well, you have all those family things that you were invited to at the wedding. The twins’ christening is soon, isn’t it? And the longer that we appear together the better it is for my chances of securing sponsorship. Just one appearance with you has generated more positive press than I’ve had in a year.’