Broken

by Presley Hall

  She exercises like a warrior too. Once the first wave of mating lust has subsided somewhat, I wake on more than one morning to find the bed next to me empty. Moments later, I see Jade walking in, flushed and sweaty from a run on the safe trails nearest to the house.

  Before our first trek out to hunt, she fashioned some semblance of clothing by wearing one of my loincloths as I do, and another wrapped around her chest to hide her breasts. I find her commitment to wearing clothing somewhat amusing, but every time I see her come in sweaty from a run, her hair braided back, dressed in only the strips of leather that a Kalixian woman would wear, it’s a matter of moments before I have her back in bed, exerting herself in a very different way.

  When we’re not in bed, we talk more than we ever have before. I tell Jade more about my childhood in the palace, and the memories become less painful the more I speak of them. With the worst of my history laid bare to her, it’s easier to tell her about Khrelan and me ditching our tutor to sneak off and watch the warriors train, or how he got me out of a near scrape with a visiting dignitary when I failed to be as diplomatic as the situation warranted.

  “It sounds like your brother was your best friend,” Jade observes one evening, stirring a pot of stew on the stove as I work on a project I’ve started for her—repurposing some leather to fashion into a skirt for her. “I miss mine too,” she adds softly.

  “Who was yours?” I look up at her, my brows pulling together.

  “Emma.” She says the name quietly, and I can hear the hurt in her voice. She’s quiet for a long moment, and then she leaves the stew to simmer, coming to sit across from me at the table.

  “I haven’t had many friends,” she tells me. “I’m closed off, stubborn, not the easiest person to get close to.” She laughs. “You know.”

  I smirk at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  She rolls her eyes at my response, but with less humor than she normally would. “I was close with Emma though. She was my best friend for a long time. The only person with a key to my apartment, the only person I would tell things to. I trusted her, and only her. And then one day… she disappeared.”

  To my surprise, I see tears glitter in Jade’s eyes as she looks up at me, her hands spread helplessly out on the table.

  “I don’t know where she went. The police—the people who enforce law and are supposed to help in times like that—they just didn’t seem to be trying very hard. She was just another missing girl, at a time when more and more girls were starting to go missing. They had other things to worry about. So I figured it was up to me to find her, if she could still be found.”

  I can’t help but feel a glimmer of pride in her for that. Of course Jade, stubborn and brave as she is, wouldn’t rely on others to find her friend. She’d do it herself. It’s one of the things that I love most about her.

  “So I found out where they last knew she was, and I went down there to scope it out. I went into this building a homeless guy told me he’d seen her walk into—”

  “Wait…” I eye her suspiciously. “You have people without homes on Earth?”

  “Yes.” She frowns. “A lot of them.”

  “How… how can that be permitted? Why aren’t they helped?”

  “That’s a very long story for another time,” Jade says, grimacing. “I think Earth is a lot bigger than Kalix, but that’s really no excuse. Anyway… I went into the building. The woman behind the counter didn’t seem to like my questions, and when I didn’t back off, she got really annoyed. She flipped this switch, and a light came down. And then…” She shrugs, her lips pressing together. “I woke up on the Orkun ship, being dragged down the hall to Alkul.”

  “And you still don’t know what happened to your friend?”

  I realize as I speak that her attempts to leave in the beginning weren’t just her trying to get away from me. She was trying to get to someone else. Someone she loves very much.

  Jade shakes her head. “I think… well, I suspect that maybe Emma was taken by the Orkun too, somehow. That she’s out there, a captive, and…” She bites her lip hard, a tear sliding down her cheek. “I feel guilty sometimes,” she whispers. “I’m happy here with you. I never thought I’d be this happy. But I’m sitting here, playing house with you, having the most amazing sex of my life… and my best friend is out there somewhere, maybe enslaved by the Orkun, or worse…”

  She starts to cry harder, and I reach out, taking her hands in mine.

  “Jade, listen to me,” I say quietly. “I know that feeling better than any other. You know I don’t feel that I deserve you, or any of the happiness I’ve found with you. But you would tell me that none of the things I did were done on purpose. And you tried to find your friend.”

  “I did.” She nods, tears sliding down her cheeks. “But I keep wondering if I could’ve done more. I can’t bear the thought of her in danger or in pain.”

  “Maybe…” I try to think of a way to console her without giving her false hope or making promises I can’t keep. “Maybe there’s something I can do. A way we can find where she is now. I just have to think of how to manage it. Just… just give me some time, Jade.”

  She glances up, her green eyes shimmering and gratitude written across her face.

  “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “Of course. I would do anything for you.”

  As if to seal the promise in my words, I tug her down onto my lap and kiss her, brushing away her tears with my lips. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way to help her track down her stolen friend.

  Over the following few weeks, my entire world is wrapped up in Jade. For the most part, the days that pass are as close to perfect as I can imagine life could be.

  Our days fall into a sort of routine—Jade coming in from morning exercise to tumble back into bed with me, a bath together, breakfast, and then a trek out into the woods to forage, hunt, or just explore. I show her all of Kalix that I can, regretting that we’re confined to this small and lonely corner of the planet. When we return to my dwelling, often sweaty and tired, we find our way into the bath and then spend our evenings eating dinner and relaxing together.

  But sometimes, when we’re out in the woods, I catch Jade staring off at the horizon as if she’s trying to see what’s beyond the boundaries of where it’s safe for us to go. Technically, she could go anywhere on Kalix that she likes, but as a stranger and a member of a species that’s never stepped foot on this planet before, it’s not wise.

  She listens to me in this, at least, and doesn’t press the issue. But I can see longing in her eyes sometimes, and I know it’s not only worry over her friend.

  She misses civilization.

  I can’t take her back to Terra. It’s impossible. There’s no legal interplanetary transport between any alien planet and Terra, due to their isolationism, and even if I could somehow find her safe enough passage on a smuggling vessel, it would mean losing her forever. I couldn’t go with her. I might resemble her human form in many ways, but there are others that mark me as plainly alien.

  There’s no place for me on Terra.

  But, my thoughts whisper to me when I see her looking off into the distance, you could take her to Jocia. If only there were some way you could go back.

  The thought grows until it is a constant refrain in the back of my mind.

  I wish I could take her to Jocia—a place where she could be around beings other than just myself, where she could socialize. I miss it too, but I’ve had a long time to become accustomed to the isolation of the Kalixian wilderness.

  Jade hasn’t had that time, and it makes my heart ache to think of her going through the stages of loneliness that I did, until at last she’s fully accepted being out here, just the two of us. She’s vivacious and energetic, and I’m not foolish or selfish enough to think that only my company should be enough for her. She should be able to have the company of others as well, not be hidden away in a remote corner of the planet, far from any other cont
act.

  And more than that, I know that she’ll never forgive herself if she doesn’t find her friend. Even if she accepts the loss, it will stay with her, eating away at her no matter how much time passes.

  I know that feeling better than anyone.

  It’s this line of thinking, growing stronger day by day, that finally makes something shift inside of me, and I realize that Jade is right. What I did was horrible, but it wasn’t by choice. I was coerced, forced into it, and kept from telling the truth about what really happened.

  I can’t hide any longer. I have to face the past, go back to Jocia and civilization, and try to make amends. I have to ask for a place back among my people—not the place I once had, but something, for Jade and me.

  With her, I have a future. And I have a responsibility to make that more than the isolation we live in now.

  As we head back to the house after an afternoon in the forest, Jade’s fingers linked through mine, an idea suddenly blooms in my mind—a possible way to end my banishment. Something that might help me regain my place among the Kalixians and keep them from killing me on sight.

  But for it to succeed, I’ll have to face my greatest fear.

  23

  Jade

  We’ve almost reached Brele’s cabin when he stops me suddenly, tugging lightly on my hand to turn me toward him.

  I’m surprised—he usually stays mostly quiet during these treks, wanting me to pay attention to the paths and trails so I can learn better how to safely make my way through the woods and jungle here. But without a word, he pulls me against him tightly, his free hand tangling in my hair as he bends to kiss me fiercely.

  It’s thorough and possessive, his hands clutching me to him as he slides his tongue into my mouth, letting me know without a shadow of a doubt how much he wants me, that I’m his.

  I can’t help but lose myself in it, in the sweet knowledge that we’re out here alone with no one to disturb us, wrapped in our own private bubble of desire and emotion, and that there’s no chance we’ll be interrupted. We can have each other whenever we want, however we want, out here in our own Eden.

  Or something close to it, at any rate. I’m not sure Eden had bears with tentacles.

  But when Brele breaks the kiss, pulling away to look down at me, I see something in his expression that gives me pause. There’s something like love there, but it’s mixed with fierce determination and a hint of worry. A swell of emotions all blend together behind his stunning eyes as he looks at me like he’s trying to memorize me.

  “What is it, Brele?” I ask softly.

  He swallows hard. “I have an idea.”

  And then, standing under the bright sun with the breeze sweeping around us, he tells me his plan.

  He removed the chip that the Orkun installed in his brain to control him, but the connectors are still there, wired too deeply for him to ever remove without risk of permanent injury. There’s a good chance that not all of the systems in the crashed Orkun ship were destroyed or even damaged beyond use. It’s possible he could use those systems and the connectors still in his brain to access the ship’s logs and upload the data directly into his mind.

  It’s likely that those logs, located on the ship of an Orkun warlord, would hold a great deal of useful information—about war plans, strategies, their strengths and weaknesses, their military structure, and much more.

  That information would be invaluable to his brother and the Kalixian military command, able to be leveraged to hold their enemies off or even defeat them for good one day. The last vow of every Kalixian male could be made possible with the wealth of information available on that ship.

  But there’s a risk, he tells me. It’s a small one, but there’s a chance that if he plugs himself back into the Orkun system, he’ll lose himself and fall under their control again, his mind merged back into their systems.

  “I need you with me, Jade.” His voice is low and rough as I stare at him in stunned silence. “I need to do this, to try. You were right. I failed my people, but not because I chose to betray them. I need to go back and ask for forgiveness, not just for myself, but for you as well. You deserve the best life I can give you. And you need to find your friend. If we go to Jocia, all of those things may be possible.”

  “Okay.” I nod, trying not to let my nerves show on my face. I don’t like that this plan of his sounds dangerous, but if I can help in any way by being there, I want to. “Of course I’ll come with you.”

  A shadow crosses his face as he reaches up to grasp my upper arms, gazing at me with a serious expression.

  “Listen to me, please,” he says quietly. “Do you remember what I asked you in the cave? To leave me and go to Jocia if I couldn’t get out?”

  I nod, narrowing my eyes at him. “Where is this going?”

  “Well, now I need you to promise me something else. If I’m overcome by the Orkun tech, if I’m…” His jaw tightens. “If I’m controlled by them again, I need you to promise that you will kill me. Don’t let me leave the ship.”

  My heart lurches, my mouth dropping open in horror. “Brele…”

  He plunges doggedly forward, ignoring my protest. “There’s only one fate worse than death for me, Jade, and that’s being controlled by the Orkun again. They murdered my people. They go against everything I stand for, everything I have ever believed in, everything that Kalix is. I will not be consumed by them again. If I can’t break free of the system, you have to kill me. And then once it’s done, go to Jocia alone. Don’t mention me, don’t say that you’re my Irisa, don’t breathe a word of having ever met me. Beg for Khrelan’s help, for you and for your friend. He will help you, I know it.”

  Brele is breathing hard now, his eyes full of a dozen emotions, and I throw my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck. “I can’t kill you,” I whisper. “I can’t do it.”

  “Yes, you can.” His touch is gentle as he carefully disentangles me from him and runs his fingers through my hair. “And you must. Understand me, Jade, there is no worse fate for me than that. You killing me, if it comes to that, would be a mercy. And there’s no one else I would trust to carry out the task.”

  His hand presses against the side of my face, and I lean into the caress, tears filling my eyes.

  “You are brave and strong. You are my Irisa,” he says firmly. “You are bound to me.”

  “For better or worse,” I whisper, smiling grimly through my tears.

  He looks at me with surprise. “Yes, I suppose that’s true. This may be the ‘worse,’ Jade. But we have to take that risk. And I have to know you will do what you must, if the worst should happen.”

  “Brele…”

  “Promise me.”

  His eyes and voice are fierce, and although I don’t know if I can do it if the moment comes, I promise him. He believes in me, in my ability to do what I have to if it’s demanded of me, and I believe in him. I can see how much he means it, how much he needs me to agree, and so I do.

  I know he’ll do everything in his power not to hurt me. I know he’ll fight it, if he can. He’s a brave man, and a good one.

  I’m certain of that, down to the very bottom of my heart.

  The next morning, I don’t go out to run or do pushups outside the house.

  Instead, I lie in bed next to Brele, knowing with a piercing ache in my heart that this could be the last morning I rest in the circle of his arms, his body curved against mine. When I turn my head to see his eyes flicker open, that same knowledge burns in their depths too.

  When he rolls atop me abruptly, it’s hard and fierce, but no less loving for all of that. The need between us is sharp and unspoken, his powerful thrusts underscoring the words that I know he can’t yet say, with so much uncertainty ahead of us.

  I love you. I need you. I always will.

  Those same words scratch at the back of my throat too, but I can’t speak them yet either. It’s so fast, so soon.

  After eating a quick breakfast and getting ready, we ma
ke the trek out to the Orkun ship in silence. Brele’s strides are long and sure, his gaze fixed on the path in front of us. I know he’s wrestling with his own demons in his head—the thought that he doesn’t deserve to go home, and the knowledge that he has to do the thing he fears most in order to have a chance to return at all.

  There are a million things I want to say, but I know that my presence next to him speaks louder than any words. So I stay silent, keeping pace with him through the woods until we see the ship in the clearing, now slightly overgrown in the weeks that have passed.

  Alkul’s body is gone, likely dragged away by some predator. I can see smears of blood, dried almost black on the walls and floor, but the sick smell of death has dissipated. The ship feels empty, hollow.

  “Watch me carefully,” Brele says hoarsely. “If you see that I’m not coming back to myself once I disengage from the wiring, you must do what I’ve asked. Promise me, Jade.”

  “I promise,” I tell him, although the pit of fear in my stomach that I won’t be able to do it still lingers.

  “My brave Irisa.” He pulls me to him hard, crushing me against him as he kisses me deeply. My back bows with the force of it as I wrap my arms around him.

  And then he lets me go, backing away and kneeling next to the console where he’ll be able to hook himself up to the ship and try to accomplish what he’s come here to do.

  All I can do is stand close by and watch, that last kiss burning on my lips like a brand, my heart aching as I wait.

  Brele opens the panel door, pulling out several wires hooked up to a small port at the end of it. He fumbles under his hair, sweeping it up with one hand as he guides the port to the base of his neck with the other, and I tense as it clicks into place.

  For a second, nothing happens. I wonder if it even worked, if the tech is compatible with what’s still in the base of his neck, or if they updated it in the fifteen years since then. Shit. I didn’t think of that.

  But then his eyes start to glow.