Half a World Away

by Cynthia Kadohata

  He walked off, and Dimash barreled into him from behind. Jaden laughed, which made Dimash laugh. “Later, I’ll be back, I promise.”

  When he got to the bonding room, Steve was kneeling down with the baby in his arms, then standing up and saying, “Wheee.” He did this over and over. The baby didn’t make any sign that he knew he was being lifted or held. He wasn’t even making eye contact with anyone.

  Jaden sat on the couch and chewed on his nails. Steve placed Ramazan on his stomach, and then Penni and Steve sat cross-legged in front of him. Ramazan was staring between them. At that moment Jaden felt absolutely nothing toward Ramazan. Not jealousy, not interest, just nothing. Penni said, “Jaden, come here in case the director comes in. She specifically said that you should be bonding.”

  The door opened and there she was—the baby house director.

  “Jaden, please!” Penni begged in a low voice. The baby house director frowned.

  Jaden walked over and leaned toward Ramazan. “Hey, guy, I’m your brother.” And as luck would have it, for the first time, the baby made eye contact with Jaden. Jaden felt a jolt, like the baby had sent some electricity his way. “I know,” he said to Ramazan, unsure what he meant by that.

  “He looked at you!” Penni said.

  “Jaden, tickle him or something,” Steve said. “We need to get through to this baby.”

  Jaden tickled the baby’s stomach, but he didn’t respond. The moment was over.

  The director said something sharply, but since for some reason Akerke wasn’t there right then, nobody had any idea what the director was saying. She regarded the whole room and then said angrily, “Because! Because!” That made no sense. She swept out of the room like a queen in a movie Jaden had seen once. He couldn’t remember which. For a while after he’d gotten to America, Jaden couldn’t get enough of movies. Star Wars had been his favorite at one point. Films were light shows, people made of light moving around on a screen in a dark room. But he didn’t really like them anymore. All those aliens, fights, shootings, and love stories began to blend together. It was the same movie over and over. Basically, someone who’s an underdog triumphs. What did that have to do with real life? Nothing, that’s what.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When their two-hour bonding period ended, they returned to the car. Sam had a cigarette in his hand, a cigarette behind his ear, and a cigarette in his mouth. Jaden liked this crazy guy.

  “Hey,” Jaden said to Sam.

  “This I know. There is a life after this one.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Jaden asked.

  “I have not said it had to do with anything.”

  “True.”

  Sam stepped on his cigarette butt and picked it up, wrapping it in a cloth from his pocket that was filled with cigarette butts. Then he got into the car, turned on the ignition, and backed up like an insane person.

  “Excuse me, Sam!” Steve said. “I don’t want to die in a car.”

  “I do not want to die in car either. This we have in common.”

  Jaden watched a glass eye swinging from the rearview mirror as Sam pulled into the road. He’d seen that same eye hanging at the kiosk where they’d bought bread. “What is that eye?” he asked Sam.

  “It is eye that wards off evil eye that some evil people give to you. If someone breaks my windshield, it is not their fault. It is fault of evil person who has given my windshield evil eye. You must be ready at all times for this eye; therefore you must have glass eye everywhere you go to protect yourself.”

  “Cool.” Jaden’s mind drifted to bread. Someday he would like to live in a house of bread.

  Penni suddenly groaned. “Oooooh.” Next she squeezed her forehead with her hands.

  “What is it?” Steve asked in alarm.

  “I don’t know. I just . . . When Jaden came, I loved him immediately. I know it sounds crazy, but I loved Bahytzhan even though I’d never met him.”

  The thing Jaden remembered most about his first day in America was that an answering machine had suddenly started talking. He’d been so scared, he’d wet his pants and cried. He’d thought it was some kind of ghost.

  “You’ll love Ramazan in time,” Steve said. “You can’t compare different children.”

  “I know I’ll love him! I’m already starting to!” Penni said. “But I’m so worried. I just—just—I don’t know if I can handle another—I mean a—I mean what if he’s special needs? His legs are so weak. Does it make me a bad person that I don’t want a special-needs baby?” She knocked against her head with the heel of her palm. “I’m a bad person!”

  “Honey,” Steve said. “Pen, it doesn’t make sense. You’re upset if you don’t love him, and you’re upset if you do. You need to inject some logic into this process.”

  Akerke was sitting up very straight, wearing a slight frown. “Penni, I have seen this before,” she said. “You are not the first. Is hard process, this adopting. Is some families it is hard for. One couple—but never mind, every parent is different.”

  “One couple what?” Jaden asked.

  “Is no matter.”

  “But what were you going to say?” Jaden persisted.

  “One couple was very worried about their baby’s weak legs.”

  “What happened?” Jaden asked.

  She frowned at him. “All that matters is they loved their baby, and their baby loved them. All was well, as all will be well with your family. Your baby’s legs will be fine. They will grow strong. Jaden, I am saying now to your parents.”

  “It is not my place to speak,” said Sam. “For I am only driver, though I know many things. But I cannot stop myself. I must speak. In all my many years most beautiful smile I have seen is smile of my nephew whose legs are very weak. He cannot walk. He has, what do you call it, wheelchair. So I say to you, if your child’s legs are weak, you will still see many beautiful smiles from him. This I know from my own experience.”

  “His legs are not too weak,” Akerke said. “I believe all will be well with his legs. I have felt babies with weak legs, and his are strong.”

  “I am only saying if his legs are too weak,” Sam said. “I speak from my experience.”

  “I do not argue with driver,” Akerke snapped.

  Sam’s face went blank, and he bowed his head once. But Jaden could see he was angry inside.

  Chapter Eighteen

  They spent the next couple of days wandering aimlessly through the city, shopping at the bazaar, and watching the few channels in English on television. The bonding periods were uneventful yet draining. Whenever they tried to feed Ramazan, he would squeal in annoyance and flail his arms, but otherwise he was completely blank. Early one morning Penni and Steve decided to go out for breakfast. Jaden didn’t feel like going.

  “Promise me you’re not leaving the apartment without us,” Penni said. “We don’t want you getting lost again.”

  “I promise,” he said easily. Promises were very easy for him to make.

  “Well, okay then.”

  They left the apartment, and Jaden poured himself a bowl of granola, which he ate without milk. Then he watched a show on ESPN about women’s billiards, which he ordinarily had no interest in. But he felt desperate to hear English spoken, so the show was a relief to him. It was like getting a drink when you were very thirsty.

  Jaden felt good. He had his favorite granola, he had TV, he had an apartment to himself. He heard the door jiggle, and it was already Penni and Steve, back again. Penni immediately said, “Jaden, Sam is coming to pick you up in a few minutes. Akerke called our cell phone and has a special surprise for you. You just have time to eat. We got you some kind of skewered meat and camel’s milk.”

  That didn’t sound appetizing, but Jaden followed Penni into the kitchen and sat at the table.

  “What kind of special surprise?” he
asked suspiciously.

  “Sam is going to take you to go hunting with a friend who hunts with an eagle.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? ‘Hunts with an eagle’?”

  “It’s exactly what it sounds like. You take the bird out with you, and the bird catches some prey and then comes back to you. It’s a Kazakh tradition.”

  “Are you coming?”

  “No, it’s a special surprise arranged just for you. It was Sam’s idea, to keep you entertained. Akerke is very excited for you.”

  Jaden picked up the cup of camel’s milk and drank. It tasted gamey.

  “Camel’s milk has all kinds of healing powers,” Penni said. “At least that’s what the waiter told us, if we understood him correctly.”

  “So are you excited?” Steve asked. “I wish I were going.”

  “You can go,” Jaden said. “I don’t want to.”

  The cell phone rang. “Hello? Yes, yes, he’ll be right there,” Steve said. To Jaden, he said, “Sam’s here. We’ll go down with you.”

  In the hallway, they moved carefully down the broken steps. Jaden had absolutely no interest in birds. “Why do I have to do this?” he asked.

  “Because as soon as Akerke mentioned it, I knew it was a great idea. It’s so nice to know Sam was thinking of you. I need to warn you, though, it’s an hour away, and then it might take several hours for the eagle to catch prey. But someday you can tell Ramazan all about it!” Penni finished excitedly.

  Sam was waiting in his usual place. Penni bent toward the window. “Jaden is very intelligent and loves to learn, so teach him as much as you can, Sam,” she said.

  “I give you my promise I will teach him well,” Sam answered solemnly.

  “Mom, I’m going to spend two hours in a car? I don’t really want to ride an hour, watch an eagle for who knows how long, and then spend an hour coming back. Can’t he teach me about something closer to the city? I’d rather hang with Dimash today if he’s outside.”

  “This is a rare opportunity to observe a Kazakh tradition,” Steve said firmly. “This is education the way it’s supposed to be, not sitting around all day memorizing data. Do it for your brother.”

  Jaden didn’t want to do anything for his brother. He hardly even knew his brother. Strictly speaking, he didn’t even have a brother yet. And even if the baby was his brother, he surely couldn’t care less if Jaden saw an eagle or not. On the other hand, Dimash would care whether or not he saw Jaden.

  But Jaden got into the car with Sam, because he could see that Penni and Steve weren’t going to change their minds. That is, he might have been able to manipulate them to change their minds, but he liked to hold back some of his manipulations so that he wasn’t doing it too much. A while back he did it all the time, but that backfired because Penni and Steve got so used to him trying to manipulate them that they grew immune to it. So now Jaden had to pick and choose when to be that way.

  He didn’t say bye, just got in and waited for Sam to start the car.

  “Have fun!” Penni called out, but he didn’t even glance at her.

  Sam turned on the ignition, and they were off. “They have made you to do this trip,” Sam said. “But it is not waste of time to see eagle, though you believe it is.”

  “It’s just that I don’t really care about eagles. And there’s a kid at the baby house I want to hang around with.”

  They turned onto the street. “You may never come back to Kazakhstan. So you must learn about your brother’s country while you are here. Why not? The eagle is powerful bird. I can promise you, you will take some of its power home with you.”

  Jaden took out his cell phone and snapped a picture of Sam. He had to admit that what Sam was saying interested him. “What kind of power?” he asked.

  “The power to become a man.”

  “I’m going to be a man no matter what. You can’t stop from getting older.”

  “You do not know this, but I am a man with power. The power to be who I must be, though it may irritate my wife. And I want her to have such power too. For instance, she has big nose. If it was smaller, she would be prettier, but she would not be my wife. So when we had much money, she wanted to have surgery to make her nose smaller. We fought about it. Finally she did not have surgery because I did not want that, and she has much respect for me. And I respect her—this is why I did not want her to have smaller nose. Today we will see to it that someday you will have a marriage as good as mine. Many eagles mate for life.”

  “Why does everyone keep bringing up marriage? I’m twelve years old.”

  “What? But I am only answering your question! You must not take apart what I say and ask me about each small detail. You must take everything I say together.”

  Jaden didn’t answer; obviously, Sam was in cahoots with Penni, Steve, and Akerke about this eagle business.

  When they reached the steppe, the road was empty and the land was yellowed and weedy, with occasional patches of green. Why were some parts green? It went to show that there was a lot of luck in life. Luck was the only thing Jaden could think of that would make one plant green and the one right next to it thirsty and yellow.

  After about an hour of driving through the desolate grasslands, Sam announced that they’d arrived. They pulled up to a domed structure, which Jaden knew was a yurt, in the middle of a field. An enclosed area was next to the house, and a horse stood nearby. They got out and walked up to the open door. Inside, several people were sitting on the floor around a low table. There was also an eagle on a perch! Jaden had never seen such a big bird; it scared him. “Kanat!” Sam called out, going inside. Jaden waited at the door. A small man stood up and embraced Sam.

  The two men spoke in Russian. Kanat had a squeaky voice and sounded almost like an animal. Then Sam said, “Here is something which I have learned from this boy. In America, between two men you may touch fists, and this means you are good and all is well. Here, put the hand like this.” Sam made his hand into a fist, and Kanat did the same. Sam bumped Kanat’s fist and said, “Just touch. It is good thing, no?”

  “Sure, sure,” Kanat said. He smiled at Jaden. “So you are American. Come sit in my house, it will be wonderful.”

  Jaden stepped into the house, immediately drawn to the eagle. He moved closer to the bird, still staying a couple of feet back. The eagle’s eyes were hidden by a hood on its small head. It sat calmly. Then for some reason it stretched out its wings, which were unbelievably wide—longer than a full-grown man. Jaden froze, his heart pounding from nervousness. The bird definitely looked powerful. It was otherworldly.

  “I have named her Kanat, for she is my twin sister,” Kanat said. “It is name for boys, but it is right name for her.”

  “That is very wise,” Sam said.

  Kanat was pleased and bowed his head.

  “And now I may introduce to you Jaden,” Sam said. “He would like to see your eagle hunt.”

  “What, now?” Kanat asked.

  “Yes, we have come all the way from Kyzylorda city to see this.”

  “Then of course I will elevate you.”

  “Elevate?” said Sam. Then he and Kanat spoke to each other in Russian again. Kanat was a thin and darkish Asian man with a short goatee. He didn’t look big enough to handle the eagle. Sam and Kanat seemed to finally understand each other, and they both turned to Jaden.

  “Yes, yes, power, I see,” Kanat squeaked. “So you would like to fly an eagle? It takes many months and sometimes many years to become good eagle handler. It is very long experience, as long as ten years with each eagle.”

  “Wow,” Jaden said. In ten years he would be twenty-two, which was pretty much unimaginable.

  “I know an American woman, almost as small as you, who, ah, excelling in eagle handler.”

  Jaden shrugged.

  Kanat said to Sam, “He does not talk much.”
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  “He is sometimes little shy,” Sam agreed.

  Shy? Jaden had never seen himself like that. If he had something he needed to say, he liked to say it. That wasn’t shy.

  “Well, I didn’t really want to fly one myself,” Jaden said. “I thought we only came to watch.”

  “Yes, it is so,” Kanat replied. “You will ride in sidecar with Sam, and I will ride my horse. Then I hope to show you an eagle’s power, which, as Sam says, you have driven far to see.” Kanat put on a huge thick glove, then went to the perch and detached what looked like two leather strings holding the eagle down. He placed his gloved hand under the eagle, which climbed onto the glove. Next Kanat attached the strings to his glove. Sam and Jaden followed Kanat out, the eagle still hooded. With no word spoken, a woman came outside with them and saddled the horse.

  Kanat expertly climbed the horse while holding the eagle. The way Kanat treated her, with rapt attention, she seemed like royalty to Jaden. “The sidecar is around the house,” Kanat said to Sam.

  When they saw the motorcycle with a sidecar, Jaden was struck by how out of place it seemed out here in the wilderness. Sam sat on the motorcycle, Jaden in the sidecar. “You know how to drive this, right?” Jaden asked.

  “I say to you modestly that I can drive anything. Put me in rocket, and I will drive you to moon.”

  The next second the motorcycle was bumping over the field.

  After a while they stopped to wait for Kanat. The wind was blowing hard. When Kanat caught up, the two men began to talk excitedly in Russian. They had to shout over the noise from the motorcycle. Then Sam drove on. They rode for a long time, maybe an hour and a half. But Jaden felt at peace in this bleak landscape. It was strange, but he thought it must be like meditating. Two of his doctors had tried to get him to meditate, but he couldn’t do it right. But at this moment he felt like he could.

  One time Sam had to wait for Kanat, and when he reached them, Kanat said, “Here is good. We stop now.” He took the hood off the eagle and undid the leather strings. “She is brilliant eagle. She finds her own prey. I do not do it for her as I must with the many eagles over the years.”