Alive

by Victoria Johns

  Begging my foggy brain to get with the program and save me the embarrassment of not remembering her name, I concentrated and tried to really focus on something other than the memories of our sweaty limbs fighting for the buzz of relief.

  Nope. Nada.

  Nothing.

  Not a fucking thing.

  The running water stopped abruptly and I shuffled to sit upright against the pillows and headboard, ready to talk my way out of there and not come across as the complete wanker I was.

  The girl finally appeared wrapped in a barely-there towel. You could probably have mistaken it for an oversized washcloth, and…

  Holy fuck.

  No.

  This was one mess I was definitely not talking my way out of.

  I’d really fucking done it this time.

  My heart sped up, racing painfully. If it didn’t slow down soon so I could think, she was going to need another shower because I was seriously close to puking all over her.

  “Think I picked the wrong brother,” Meesha said, stood in front of the bed with her hands on her hips. Her hands were actually on her fucking hips because the washcloth-come-towel was fucking useless.

  Her pussy was at eye level, all trim and red raw from my amorous attention last night. Shit, I’d never hung around long enough to see what my stubbled jaw did to them. I needed to shave.

  My heartbeat and stomach were still battling for control over my body’s functions. “Easy mistake to make with twins,” I told her, throwing back the covers. Thank fuck she just got confused. “If you can forget about this, so can I. There’s no reason for Jack to get hurt.”

  Meesha snickered and let the little scrap of material fall to the floor. “I meant I was dating the wrong twin. I’d heard rumors about your skills, but wow. I’m impressed.”

  “What?” I barked back in shock, finally finding some strength to get upright.

  “That thing you do with your tongue and fingers, at the same time. Yummy. And the jewelry… Fuck yes. More, baby,” she purred, stepping into me.

  “Don’t be stupid. This never fucking happened,” I bit back, searching for my clothes, hoping desperately that they’d get up off the floor and find their way to me. I needed out of there fast.

  “Sure it didn’t if that’s how you want to play things. You fucking me four times, getting me off another two with that tongue and finger combination also didn’t happen. Oh, and I’ll totally forget about you and your jewelry slipping in my ass, too.”

  I was fucked.

  I felt so ill and disgusted with myself. I couldn’t remember leaving Purps with her last night and how, God tell me, during all of that did I not know I was banging my brother’s girl?

  “I’m fucking serious, Meesha. Mention this to anyone and I’ll make sure you regret it.” When I bent down to retrieve my t-shirt, I saw the evidence of used condom wrappers on the floor by the bed. “What the fuck was I thinking?” I mumbled to myself, panic taking hold.

  “Just do me once more before you go, Jake,” she breathed from behind me, and when I turned to look at her, my head nearly exploded. Meesha had her legs spread, and she was fingering herself while using her free hand to pinch her nipples.

  “Stop that!” I pleaded.

  “I can see it’s making you hard.” Unfortunately, she was right. I’d still only located a t-shirt and my boxers, so my hard, jeweled nine inches was already poking out of the waistband as she fell to her knees and pulled them down.

  “Fuck, you need to stop,” I protested half heartedly, as she got her mouth around my swollen head.

  “You don’t want me to stop.” She slobbered, pausing for air.

  Right then I didn’t. I knew I should have, but shit… I couldn’t stop it. The train was already pulling out of the station.

  Grabbing her long, shower-wet hair extensions roughly, I began to take my aggression out on her. It was an asshole move but she was in the wrong, too, and she could have stopped things last night. She’d just made it obvious she knew what she was doing; my fucking brother wasn’t pierced. I could hear her gagging and see her eyes watering and bulging, but truthfully, I didn’t care. A short snippet of memory from the previous night hit me of her begging me to use her and do what I pleased. Meesha liked it rough and I’d made sure she got it.

  When I was finally ready to finish, I forced my dick so far down her throat I could feel her panic a bit. Easing up just a bit, I stayed lodged where I was and came down her throat, giving her no choice but to swallow every disgusting and guilt-ridden drop.

  Retreating from her mouth, I was almost ashamed to look at her. I started the hunt for my clothes again and felt repulsed to see she’d spread out on the floor to finish herself off. Normally I’d have been in there, but after what we’d already done, I felt nasty. As I made for the bedroom door, I heard her say, “You rock my world, Jake. Do you think you could get your brother to join us? I’d love some double teaming twin action.”

  I ignored her and knew there was no way she’d keep this under wraps.

  I was seriously fucked and needed help.

  There was only one person who could help me sort this out and he was going to kick my ass first and hear me out second.

  Taking my almost dead cell phone from my pocket, I dialed my big brother’s cell phone. I’d put myself in this position. “It’s me. I’ve fucked up. And I mean really fucked up. I need your help.”

  “You’d best get your ass over here then,” Jonas barked down the line and then hung up.

  Jake

  I’d explained as much as I could, or dared, without going into too much detail. I was ashamed as fuck about my behavior, but worse than that, I’d let the other half of me down.

  “Honestly, you’ve gone beyond fucking shit up. You busted through that gate and strolled on by, swinging your manky cock and balls around as you did it,” he shouted, pacing his living room.

  I’d done what he’d said and gone straight to his house. Jack and I shared a place and had since we’d come home from college. I really didn’t want to rely on Jonas but I needed to get my head straight before I faced my twin and he knocked it clean off my shoulders.

  Jonas knew this was going to be huge and had the foresight to get rid of Dolly and their twin girls before I arrived. The more he paced, the more I was resigned to the ass kicking I knew was fast approaching. “I mean, if it had just been once, you might have had a sliver of hope of passing it off as a mistake, but all fucking night—”

  “And kind of this morning,” I interrupted stupidly.

  A thundercloud engulfed his face and he stopped pacing to fold his tree trunk arms in a position that made him look exactly what he was—huge and intimidating. “Let me get this straight. You don’t remember leaving Purps with your brother’s girl, you fucked her all night, and after realizing who she was this morning, you then went at it again?”

  “Well, no, I didn’t fuck her this morning. I let her blow me.” It seemed in my panic, my sensibility filter had gone walkabout.

  He strode over to me and pushed me harshly. “You think those details are helping right now, you fucking idiot?” he whisper-shouted. “I am a fly’s dick away from beating you just to save our brother, your fucking twin, the effort of having to do it himself.”

  “Look, I know I’ve fucked up huge, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed your help. What am I going to do?”

  At this point, the loose grip Jonas had on his temper was failing fast. He looked me up and down, and I’m sure he was contemplating which vital organ he could remove from my body first with his bare hands when his cell rang. “Saved by the bell,” he mumbled, before barking, “What?” to the caller on the other end. “Yeah sorry, man, there’s shit kicking off up here, too. What’s wrong?” I watched as he began to pace and listen intently to the details of the call. “You checked it out?”

  His one-sided phone call was irritating me. Now was not the time and it wasn’t helping my nerves, until I heard, “Yeah, I’ve got j
ust the guy for the job. No, I can’t go road tripping now. I’ll send one of my brothers. Yeah, he’ll be fine. Keep in touch.”

  Even though he was having a conversation with someone else, he set me on edge. The unnerving thing was that his eyes never left me once, like he was tracking me. As soon as he finished the call, he shouted, “You just got lucky. You’re going on a road trip. A friend is having some trouble and I need a set of eyes on the situation.”

  “I can’t do that,” I protested.

  “You can and you will. You’re going to need somewhere to hide anyway.”

  “Why?”

  “Stop asking stupid fucking questions. After you tell our brother what you’ve been up to and Jack beats your stupid fucking ass, he is going to need some space.”

  “Are you fucking nuts?” I shouted, starting to pace in protest, or maybe it was fear.

  “You did the crime. Act like a fucking man and do the time. Something like this has been coming for a while. However, because you’re family, I will come with you and stop him from killing you. Purely for selfish reasons, though—I need you on this job.”

  “I don’t even know what the job is.”

  “Details, Jake. You’ll get them on the way to your place and then we’re off to the airport. I don’t have time for a detour via the emergency room, so don’t be a dick when you talk to him. Facts only, no more girlie oversharing shit like you did with me.”

  “Not fucking funny,” I whined and followed him out of his house to do the unthinkable. Even focusing on the unknown job for Jonas wasn’t working and the fact that he’d used the word ‘airport’ didn’t help.

  With less than twenty minutes to prepare, I confessed to my twin. There are some words you never think you’ll have to say, because you don’t think you’ll ever be that stupid. I looked him square in the eye and told him I’d fucked up. I was the brother who normally lost control; he was used to that, but never to this extent. Never had I been responsible for putting such an ugly look on his face. I’d always been the one to help him get over this kind of heartache, but never the cause of it. With Jonas stood in the background, I told him what a dishonorable shit of a brother I was. I told him I’d made a mistake that was so unforgivable that I’d ended up back at his woman’s house and in her bed.

  The sick feeling returned to my stomach as I willed him to be the impulsive one for a change and let his anger roam free, but like he knew it would cause me more pain, he took what I said and simply told me he needed time to get over it. Thankfully, he blamed Meesha as much as me, and I knew she was dead to him, but cutting me from his life would have been like hacking his own arm off. I could tell he wanted to do it, but he knew it would hurt him just as much as me. I tried to reason with him, but when he finally said, “You need to fuck off and give me space,” I conceded.

  “Of course. Fuck! I’m so sorry, brother. I hate myself for the extent of my betrayal. Just tell me what to do to make it right.”

  “Go. Stay away and let me figure out how we move forward from here.”

  “Punch me. At least fucking punch me,” I pleaded quietly and saw the pain in his eyes, which I knew was reflected in my own.

  “Come on, Jake. Quit while you’re ahead,” Jonas decided, ending it for both of us. “Pack a small bag. You’ve got a plane to catch.”

  I sloped off to do as he told me, throwing my night of shame clothes in the laundry hamper and changing into some comfy traveling clothes. Having no idea what I’d need for whatever Jonas had planned, I took some clean pants, t- shirts and a few dress shirts. I desperately needed a shower to wash away my guilty night, but I knew I didn’t have time so I’d have to battle on through for a bit longer. Jonas was already shouting for me to get a move on, so I complied, thinking I’d sleep on the plane and then freshen up when I got to…

  Fuck, I didn’t even know where I was going.

  My twin was absent from our place when I left. I wasn’t sure whether he’d left because I was still there or if he’d gone to give Meesha a piece of his mind. I didn’t believe he was super serious about her. I’d never once got the impression that they were chapel and picket fence material, but still, that was no excuse. I’d done the inexcusable. Any girl who could knowingly put out for your brother was never going to be the type of girl you wanted to introduce to the family.

  When we got into Jonas’ truck, he talked at me, detailing my trip. I had to pay serious attention. He was disappointed in me and I got the feeling that making him run through this stuff twice would only piss him off more. “Remember when Ross came to town with Cara?”

  “The hot piece who disappeared from Purps and died?” I queried, remembering how angry he’d been when he’d failed to keep her alive.

  “Yeah, that. Well, Cara had troubles that caught up with her. During her mess, we came across a young girl who was paying off a family debt in an unpleasant way.”

  “What way?”

  “Working in a strip bar. Basically, she was underage and being used in a blackmail scheme. Ross and I extracted her, gave her a new identity and put her somewhere safe.” I was gob smacked and I reckoned my chin was in the foot well of the truck, I mean, for fucking hell’s sake. I always knew my brother did some secret military shit, but saving people and giving them new identities? What the fuck? I could tell he knew I was shocked when he barked, “Concentrate, Jake. This is fucking important. I’ve kept tabs on Raven, who now goes by the name of Rebecca, and there are no signs that she’s been found or being targeted. She’s raised this warning flag herself. I’m not sure she’s in trouble. She could just be being jumpy, but I have to check it out. Paranoia isn’t unusual in a situation like hers. All you’ve got to do is keep an eye on her. Follow her around and watch those around her, see if someone is watching her. She shouldn’t notice you and I’m hoping that no one else will either.”

  “You want me to do secret squirrel shit?”

  “Yes, I figure she’s fine. I’m also hoping that if you see someone with real life troubles, it might prompt you to get your head out of your ass. You can’t keep drifting and fucking up. Grow the fuck up, get a job and do something with your life. That fine line you decided to walk over last night is the last straw. For now, you’re going to do something for me. You let me down or fuck me over, you also let down Ross and a girl who is scared enough to send up a flare asking for help.”

  “Okay, so… shit. I’m not sure you should be trusting me with this. This isn’t the right play.”

  “Even you can’t fuck this up. Watch her. Watch the people around her. You see anything you don’t like, any patterns or the same people in her space who shouldn’t be, you clip a picture and I’ll advise. Anything dodgy, you call.”

  “I can do that,” I muttered, wondering who I was trying to convince. How the hell had I gone from shagging my brother’s woman to working covertly for the other one?

  We pulled up at the airport drop off and I realized I still had no clue where I was heading. Jonas sensed my panic and looked at me. “Ticket is at the Interair desk with your name on it. By the time you land, I’ll have hired you a car, booked you a motel and texted you all the details you need. Raven is checking in with Ross regularly. If that changes, I’ll be in touch. This means you need to keep your cell charged.”

  “Why isn’t Ross doing this?”

  “Because you fucking are,” he ground out, finally getting frustrated. “Now go and get your plane. Don’t fuck this up. I’ll see you when the job is done.”

  “How long is that gonna be?” I questioned, climbing out of the truck with my bag.

  “When I fucking say. Consider this a second chance and I’ll keep tabs on Jack for you. That’ll sort itself out. He’s your brother and he just needs time. Leave him be and get gone.”

  I nodded and shut the door, stepping back in shock. I was suddenly nervous as fuck and had no idea how I was going to do what Jonas was expecting.

  One thing I did know, though, was that I couldn’t fuck this up.
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  I’d already dishonored my relationship with my twin; I couldn’t afford to disgrace the other brother, too.

  And that was how I found myself on a plane, heading a few thousand miles from the place I’d lived all my life. It didn’t feel like a vacation. There was too much unknown. Mind you, there was a lot unknown at home, too, right now.

  With that final thought, I sucked it up, buckled my seatbelt and prayed I wouldn’t fail as we taxied down the runway to destination unknown.

  Rebecca

  I was jumpy and permanently on edge. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get a handle on my uneasiness. Calling Ross had helped a little, but now my own mind was starting to play tricks on me.

  When I first started to feel something wrong, I did a Google search on all the Acerbi big players. The old guy had died a few years ago, so I knew I didn’t have to worry about him. Guiseppe, the eldest evil son had met his maker shortly after I’d left to start my new life. I remembered seeing the article about his body turning up somewhere unexpected. The family princess went missing, having run away from the lot of them while I was working for them, and the remaining brothers had all dropped off the planet. I suspected they were all in hiding or witness protection. The consensus from online crime and conspiracy theory blogs was that most of the operations had been sold to a rival family, earning a truce and giving those still alive a tidy sum to start over with. The only one I could tie to any wrongdoing was Guiseppe, and he was dead. I’d assumed that meant I was in the clear and the relief at knowing it was over was a feeling I could never seem to put into words.

  Bob had always taught me to trust my gut. It was a shame he didn’t think of that before he plunged us both into a world of pain, but right now my gut was telling me that something was amiss in my perfectly crafted world.