Alive

by Victoria Johns

  My fears were only slightly eased when I saw that that Jonas was holding this conversation in his main living room and not his secure office. “Mansion has agreed that Rebecca can no longer help him. It’s over.”

  As simple as that.

  Those were the words he came out with.

  Ross stood up and made to leave, and Jonas looked at me, indicating he was also done and ready for us to leave.

  “Hang on. We go from all out danger and not being able to leave Rebecca alone to suddenly she’s in the clear? You need to tell me what’s going on.”

  Rebecca was deathly quiet and no doubt trying to understand it all like me. It didn’t go unnoticed to any of us the way her body sagged in relief at hearing my brother’s words. I, however, needed to be certain that this time the fuckers were going to stick to their word. I took her hand in mine and gave it a quick squeeze of reassurance. She wasn’t alone in this and she wouldn’t be again. She needed to see that.

  “Mansion can’t live without his family. Simple as that. He was always the weak link and family history suggests he’s prepared to risk it all for that.”

  Rebecca let go of me and put her head in her hands. I thought she was about to cry, but after a few seconds I realized she was vibrating with anger. “You mean I’ve just thrown my life away because he wanted to get a message to them. That’s it?”

  It was an odd situation we were finding ourselves in. I knew she wanted it over. I’d tempted her with the good life and the promise of a future but to find that it had all gone to shit because of something so seemingly trivial was just fucking crazy. I could understand her confusion.

  Ross then stepped forward. “Remember when Cara told you he was the nice one, the caring one?” Rebecca nodded at him. “Matteo was the one who struggled the most with the conditions of them making the jump. Emotions are funny. You’re either strong or you’re not. Matteo has convinced himself that he can’t survive without his family. He never could, which is why he took the brunt of it for the others. It was worth it to him, just to keep them together.”

  “What conditions?” Rebecca asked. She needed there to be more to it than this for it to have cost her so dearly.

  Jonas stepped into the conversation now. The human living inside this mercenary wasn’t stupid. He could see that this was failing to make sense for her. “When the Acerbis decided the game was up, they had two choices—disappear or die, and I really do mean die. They upset a lot of people. I won’t go into the reasons why I helped them. Just believe me when I say they are justifiable. The main condition was that when they jumped they never interacted with the others. It was simply too dangerous. The rest of the brothers had to force Matteo to go with it.”

  Ross intervened again. “I need to give Cara peace of mind. He saved her a lot when they were growing up.”

  “I’ve agreed to get in touch with the others on his behalf and share his contact details. If they choose to get in touch with him, that’s up to them.”

  “No. This isn’t right. This is just unbelievable,” Rebecca began. She was struggling to contain her emotions. “How can that fucker do this to me? He scared me, made me leave college, and screwed with my life. They’ve all screwed with my life for so long and that’s it? They get to walk away and carry on like I didn’t matter, like I was nothing to them again.” I thought about trying to calm her down, but she needed to vent this out. Jonas and Ross needed to see what their decision was doing to her. “How can you just trust them like this? Why is no one doing something?” she shouted, looking at eyes that begged for understanding.

  I knew it was time to step in. She was starting to unravel and I wasn’t going to sit and watch that. If Jonas and Ross didn’t get how she felt then I would tell them. “I’m hoping one of you has some answers for her.”

  Jonas came over and kneeled in front of her. “Things are different now. He won’t contact you again. I’ve told them in no uncertain terms that if he comes anywhere near you or Jake, the whole family goes up for auction.”

  That sounded bad and Ross was sparking anger at those words. Was my brother prepared to put his best friend’s wife out there to guarantee the safety of my future?

  “Explain,” she demanded.

  “Last time I told them I’d hand them all over to the Feds. This time I’ve told them I’ll sell their details to the highest bidder. I know you understand what that means, Rebecca.”

  The words were starting to sink in. “What about Cara? What you really mean is you’ll rat on the boys but leave Cara out of it because of your buddy here.”

  “Cara is out of this,” Ross confirmed.

  I watched as Rebecca contemplated his words. I could see she was desperate to believe it was all over and done with, but she was just too afraid to trust it. I let her get up and pace for a few moments before I forced her into my arms. The sooner she got a grip of all of this, the sooner we could do what we’d both talked about. Get married and start our life together. “Baby, you have to trust that this is over and you can move on.”

  “He said that last time,” she whispered in disbelief, nodding at Ross. Neither of them moved, both quite content to let me handle it.

  “The rules of the game can always change, but you can’t let it stop you from carrying on with your life. Sweet dreams, remember? Our life, okay?”

  When she sagged and clung on to me, I stayed quiet to let her think it through. When we were face to face again, she popped up on her toes and kissed my lips before turning to face Ross.

  “You helped me all those years ago and I’ll always be grateful. Last time I was only playing at being alive. I didn’t really know what I wanted. Now I do. I’ve found a dream to follow. I won’t let that family take my dream away from me, Ross.”

  “I won’t—” he began.

  “I mean it,” Rebecca said with grit and determination. “I will. I’ll take as many of them down with me and that includes Cara.”

  Ross’s body sharpened with the threat. “I would never let that happen to my family.”

  “What you’re feeling now is what my entire life has been like. Just the threat is enough to spin you out. I won’t lose out again,” she told him, getting ready to do battle.

  Jonas sensed the same thing as me and stepped in to calm it down. Ross did not appreciate his family being threatened and he would die making sure they were safe. This conversation had the potential to get badly out of hand very quickly. “Rebecca, sweetheart, I’ve moved some big pieces into play to ensure your safety. You’re gonna marry my brother and that makes you family. We protect our family. You’re moving here and that means I can keep you safe. I just need you to have some faith.”

  This softer side was not one I was used to seeing in my big brother. He was usually brash and brief, to the point. He never wasted words that weren’t necessary.

  Ross approached her, and even with the loaded words they’d just shared, he took her from me, put his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. “Look after her. She’s special,” he told me. “Rebecca deserves so much more than she’s had so far in life.”

  “I know. Thanks for…” I was about to say everything, but it sounded so lame. Ross had found her first and changed her life. It felt like he’d kept her safe just for me. I planned on spending the rest of my life with her and he’d made that possible.

  He nodded. I knew I didn’t have to verbalize the words. Ross handed Rebecca over to me in a gesture I knew meant everything to him. After shaking Jonas’ hand, he simply walked out the door and left.

  As I was holding Rebecca, I started to wonder how we were going to approach a normal life. All we’d known in our time together so far was a life of protecting each other. It didn’t matter, though. Our love was built on that protection of one another because that was how we showed our true feelings.

  With the drama no longer an excuse to put our lives on hold, I knew reality was about to come crashing towards us. Jack had said we could move into the apartment, but she’d le
ft college, her qualification was up in the air and I still had no job or way to provide for us.

  A commotion kicked off behind us and A came belting through the door. “Daddy, we’re back!”

  “I can see that. You had a nice time with Granny?” The smile on his face was breaking through and I saw my own future flash before me. Rebecca bringing home a brood of madness covered in dirt and frosting. There was no way I could miss out on the possibility of seeing all that unfold by enlisting.

  “Me and Granny baked cookies and muffins, and it was fun,” A told him, producing a Tupperware box full of pretty sugary goodies that matched her angelic smile.

  “Let me guess, Granny let you eat some them.” He laughed. “Where’s your sister?”

  Before A could tell him, Dolly stuck her head round the door. “Hey,” she said to Rebecca and me. “You need to come outside and talk to your daughter. I am not having a weed whacker in the house.”

  “Come again?” Jonas asked, trying to fend off A, who was offering us all baked goods that looked like they’d been repeatedly dropped.

  “She’s been in the shed with dad and he’s given her a broken weed whacker, some rags and a jar of oil. Apparently, she needs to clean it for him.” Dolly was despairing while I could tell that Jonas was seriously considering letting her bring it into the house. “I see that look on your face, Drakeson. It is not happening. I repeat—no bits of old shitty shed stuff in the house.”

  “Mommy said a bad word!”

  “Yes, she did,” he agreed. “B, get in here!”

  B appeared by the door looking ready to do battle. She had been given a task and intended to see if through. This girl was just as cute as her sister but would kneecap you if you ever suggested it out loud. I knew Jonas was proud as fuck at having a mini commando, even if Dolly was praying she’d be into dresses and makeup sometime before they needed to attend a school dance.

  “Mom is right. We can’t keep that in the house.” Her face dropped immediately and I knew my brother was on the verge of caving until Dolly coughed for him to see it through.

  “Grandpa says I have to look after it and do a good job.”

  “And I’m sure you will, but Grandpa doesn’t keep his weed whacker in the house. He keeps it in the shed. How about you keep yours in our shed and I’ll clear some space for you on the workbench?”

  B’s little eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and with a quick nod of agreement, she wandered back outside. Watching her try to maintain a level of respectable coolness was funny, secretly celebrating a victory over her mom. Dolly looked at him and mouthed, ‘I love you,’ to which she received a wink and a promise for later in return.

  “Jake, you got time for a quick word?”

  I smiled at Rebecca and left her with Dolly and A.

  As soon as he shut the door on his office, he turned to me. “You think anymore about a job?”

  “Yeah, I don’t think I can leave her.”

  Jonas couldn’t hide his relief from me. He kept his feelings so close to his chest that it was always surprising when they appeared. “Good. It’s the right decision.”

  “Jack has said he’s moving out of the apartment, so we’ve got a place but I still need to solve the employment challenge.”

  Jonas shoved his hands in his pockets. “Jack is going to move into the cabin while he sorts out his next move. I’ve done some digging and Rebecca can finish her studies by post. She’ll have access to her tutor online and can submit her course via email for the deadlines. She’ll have to attend the city for her finals and practical assessments. That’s if she still wants to finish.”

  I was stunned that he’d done that for her, for us. “I don’t know what to say.” My throat was rapidly thickening with emotion.

  “Not done yet,” he interrupted. “There will be a vacant position at the sheriff’s office at the end of the year. Sheriff Roberts has agreed to hold the position until you graduate from the academy.”

  I looked at my brother and found myself speechless, like I had been earlier. “Fuck, I think I may cry.”

  “It’ll be six months of hard graft and there are no guarantees. You’ve got to switch your brain on and pass the fucking course first. But by the time you graduate, Rebecca will be done, too.”

  I still had no words.

  “Jake, you hear what I’m saying?”

  I did something then that I’d not done since he’d returned home alive and in one piece after his first deployment. I threw my arms around my big brother and hugged the shit out of him. “I don’t know what to say or how I can ever thank you.”

  “Tell me you won’t fuck it up. Tell me you’re serious about that girl out there and this isn’t some whim.”

  “I won’t fuck it up. This isn’t a whim. I love her.”

  “Then get your fucking hands off me and go tell her,” he said, pushing me off him uncomfortably.

  I didn’t need telling twice.

  I had a life to start living and the first step was finding an opening at the town hall so I could marry my girl.

  Rebecca

  “What do you mean she wants to meet me for a coffee?” I asked nervously.

  “What don’t you understand?”

  I had no idea how to articulate this. I couldn’t say, ‘because Lacey doesn’t like me, she thinks we we’re nuts and she scares the shit out of me’. Inviting me for coffee with her alone was a bad idea. Nothing good could come of this. Just the invite was stressing me out, without thinking about what might actually happen.

  “Are you sure Lacey said just me, like on my own, without you?”

  Jake started to laugh at me. “Yes, and I have things to sort out. Things that need doing so we can move out of the cabin and into my place. You need to get to grips with Lacey. You’re both in my life, and as you’re moving here to be my wife… Fuck, I love hearing myself saying that,” he mumbled, smiling.

  He’d successfully distracted me from my panic and I kissed him hard to let him know that I loved hearing him say that, too. Jake had waited until we were in bed together to share the rest of yesterday’s great news. Bed talk was turning out to be our thing. When our bodies were laid bare, doing the same with our words seemed easier and came more naturally. I was going to get to finish college and qualify, and I was over the moon about it. I was going to earn it all and still get the chance to open my dream dance school. Jake was looking forward to joining the local police department and his eyes were bright when he told me the plans for our future.

  I’d managed to convince Dolly to take me to dance class with the girls the next time they went. I wanted to see what the town had to offer, all in the name of research. I needed to know if I was going to have serious competition and figured as I was moving in on someone else’s territory, it made sense to do as much groundwork as possible. I was planning to start researching rental spaces but now Jake had sprung on me that Lacey wanted to see me.

  I was terrified that she believed the things she’d said after our first lunch, and any apology she might make would be insincere and for Jake’s benefit.

  “You’ll be fine. Besides, you both have one thing in common. Me.”

  That did not fill me with the confidence I needed.

  Attending the town’s dance class was as I expected, but still so disappointing. The school was run by a tight assed, stuffy looking old has-been ballerina, who looked like her last decent meal had been in 1960 and she spent most of it shouting and tutting at kids who were trying their best. Miss Bale—of course she was a Miss; no one would want to be married to this miserable cow—was easily frustrated and should have no more been working with children than Freddy Kruger.

  The room reminded me of a math classroom but lined with mirrors and chairs for the parents. It lacked creativity and inspiration. The walls were painted in a dull shade of nothing, the lighting was dull and the music was dull. It was all round dull and it amazed me that people paid for this service. No child was encouraged to have fun and it was ev
erything I hated about dance schools.

  Princess A tried her very best to show Miss Bale how she’d finally mastered parrots, but the enthusiasm wasn’t reciprocated and I could tell Dolly was disappointed for her daughter. B was also in the class. She had a bandana on her head that made her look more pirate than paso doble. She approached Dolly three times, complaining because Miss Bale wouldn’t play Justin Bieber. I would have found this cute if I wasn’t so mad. Miss fucking Bale didn’t engage with all the children, only the ones who wanted to Swan Lake their way around the room. Dolly leaned into me and told me that much to Jonas’s horror, Justin Bieber was the commando kid’s music of choice and apparently, that kid could bust some moves. Although, I wouldn’t know this because she wasn’t allowed to request music or even dance. So, Commando B didn’t get to dance, which was just so sad. I was intrigued, though, when Dolly told me that once B had requested ‘Firestarter’ by the Prodigy. She said the look on Miss Bale’s face was hilarious. She told me that Jake was responsible for a lot of B’s music choices and we should be pleased that today’s request was something as simple as ‘What Do You Mean?’ by Justin Bieber.

  All that wonderful information and insight into the family I was joining was brilliant, but I still couldn’t get over the level of anger Miss Bale made me feel. She was so anti-dance that I wanted to beat her about the head with the stick she was pointing at the kids with.

  In the end, I didn’t need to do that much ground work. My research had confirmed it and I was more than okay going up against her. I was perfectly happy and quite looking forward to putting that miserable bitch out of business.

  Dolly dropped me off at MudJoes after I’d said goodbye to the girls. I promised B that we’d have our own Bieber session and it was a promise I fully intended to keep. If a kid wanted to dance to infomercial music, then they should be allowed to. That was the beauty of expression through dance.