Alive

by Victoria Johns

  “Ah,” Barbara explained. “Reinforcements. This is Maiara Prince, Neely’s mom. She’s a dab hand with a needle and thread and if we need to do any quick alterations, she’s the woman for the job.”

  Both of the ladies helped me get into the dress and it fit perfectly apart from the length. It was way too long. “I have an idea,” mumbled Maiara, and she crouched down with a pincushion and got to work. By the time she’d finished, she’d taken up the front and left the back so it made a natural train from the billowing shape of the dress.

  I felt like a princess.

  “I don’t know what to say. It’s the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.” I cried, and with a box of tissues in one hand, Barbara pulled me in for a cuddle.

  “I’m pleased someone will get some use from it. My mother would have loved you. All spit and fire and keeping one of my boys in check.” She gulped, on the verge of tears herself. “Let’s get you out of it. Maiara will alter it while we go and get our hair and makeup sorted. I’m getting ready here and travelling with you to the town hall if that’s okay.”

  It was more than okay. I was worried that the whole family would be rallying round Jake to support him and I would just have to arrive like some kind of mail order bride he’d had shipped in.

  Wearing a bathrobe and slippers that Dolly had left for me the night before, I wandered to the main house. Jonas was there, togged up in a suit, and I could tell my sister-in-law to be was struggling to keep her hands off him. Watching them for just five minutes, I knew she was desperate to take him somewhere and undress him.

  He kissed me lightly on the cheek as he passed me on his way to the door. His smile was genuine and I knew that he was rooting for me and Jake to have a happy life.

  Then I noticed the chaos around me. Dolly was still in a night dress and hair rollers. With her makeup already done, she pointed me in the direction of the shower, telling me to hurry up. Getting more and more excited as the time ticked by, I showered quickly and headed back to the living room. Neely had arrived and was busy setting up a makeup table that looked like a MAC counter had exploded in the middle of the room.

  I took my seat as Barbara was describing the dress to the others and gave Neely one simple request. I wanted to be a natural beauty with that little something that made my eyes sparkle. Neely set to work on me while Dolly and Barbara fought with the twins. Princess A was compliant because this was her dream come true. She was dressing up like a princess and apart from some tweaking with her hair she was set to go. The little beauty was more than happy to give a demonstration of her swirly dress while she did a couple of ‘parrots’ for me. Commando B, on the other hand, was threatening to lock herself in the shed with her weed whacker if anyone tried to put her in something pink. In truth, I didn’t care. B wearing a dress or a fancy-dress costume wasn’t going to stop me having the best wedding day ever. I was worried that she wouldn’t feel like herself and not enjoy her Uncle’s big day. Crouching down on the floor with her, I told her I was absolutely fine with whatever she wanted to wear. In the end, she settled on leggings and a long tunic top and it was about as feminine as she would go. Barbara was going mad, but I pointed out that any outfit her determined grandkid agreed to wear that didn’t involve camouflage makeup and a bandana was a victory. They all saw the light and agreed with me.

  Maiara came back with the dress just as Neely was pinning up some loose curls. She held it like it was so precious, and it was. It was the most special dress in the world to me. I could feel their anticipation as I stepped into it, and as I was about to tear up again, Neely stepped in and threatened me. She said she would kick my ass if she had to reapply any makeup before the ceremony. She was fierce so I believed her words.

  Dolly and the twins, Neely and her mom left us to it then as the time was ticking closer to the ceremony. The flowers had been delivered—a simple bouquet of three blush pink roses tied with ribbon. Barbara looked very vogue in her wedding suit and I knew Harrison would be a mess of emotions when he saw her. We were waiting for one of Tommy’s cabs to arrive and collect us when there was a knock at the door. “Can I come in?” I heard Harrison shout.

  “Of course you can. Get in here,” Barbara replied, and when she rushed to meet him at the door, I saw the look of adulation and a generation of love and worship pass his face. He started to kiss her on the cheek until she remembered she had makeup on that he could spoil, so I laughed as she batted him away, blushing.

  “Well, look at you.” He smiled in my direction. “Pretty as a picture. Jake is a lucky guy.” He whistled. “You ready?”

  “Yeah. Let’s do this,” I enthused, and they both laughed.

  There were two cars waiting outside. Jonas had come back to collect Barbara in his jeep, and my heart melted just a little bit more at the thought of him escorting his mother back to the town hall to wait for the wedding to start.

  “Hang on, why didn’t you go with Barbara? I’m waiting for a cab from Tommy’s,” I asked Harrison, confused.

  “About that.” As he started to talk, a massive escalade with white ribbon on the hood pulled around the corner of the driveway. Out of the driver’s side climbed Oli. I watched as he walked around the car and opened the passenger door for me then stood there like a chauffeur. Harrison continued, “I was wondering, Rebecca. Would you give me the honor of walking you down the aisle to meet your groom?”

  I turned to look at him and knew he was deathly serious. This gentle older guy, who had welcomed me into his family and made me feel like I was a part of something so special, wanted to walk me down the aisle.

  Once again, I was on the verge of tears. “Oh no, young lady. Stop that. Deal is off if you cry. Neely has threatened unspeakable things for my manhood if you wreck that pretty face.”

  Harrison had me laughing, but not nearly as much as when I thrust my roses at Oli to climb into the Escalade. He did not look such a hard ass holding them.

  The miles were passing by as I got closer to the town hall. A new beginning was awaiting me. The guy I had fallen so deeply in love with, so quickly, was stood in front of my new friends and family, waiting for me to arrive.

  And then we could be married.

  It was amazing how life could be so up and down. I glanced at the heavens in prayer, desperate for the downs to be done with and my life to be only ups from here on in. For once, I deserved to be truly grateful I was alive. I’d been blessed when Ross came into my life, but I didn’t realize just how blessed until he led me to Jonas and Jake.

  I was so excited when we finally got to the town hall. I’d been apart from Jake for long enough and needed to see him. I was frantically hopping from foot to foot, desperate to get inside and be with him. Harrison had to drag me back from the doors and calm me down. Oli disappeared to join the others, leaving me with a kiss and a wink. Outside the door, I heard music begin and I burst out laughing when I recognized The Verve’s ‘Lucky Man’. Jake had picked this for himself, and it was the perfect song to tell me what I meant to him. It was a song of eternal optimism, a song that told you to love yourself and then you’d be able to love others, too. And it showed his cheeky side, that there was no doubting that he felt lucky.

  Harrison couldn’t stop me from giggling as I listened to it. A few thankful tears were shed, but it didn’t matter because they came from a happy place. With a surge of confidence, I put my arm through his and indicated I was ready to go and begin my second chance, my new life. When we finally made it through the doors, all of his friends and family stood together to welcome me, and I saw each of them smiling in my direction. They weren’t just his people anymore. They were part of my life now, too.

  Jake and his brother were standing in front of a celebrant.

  Jack was smiling and truly happy for his brother. I could tell Jake was overcome with emotion and trying his best to keep it all in check. He was so close to his twin that I knew he was drawing strength from him. Jake didn’t want me to see him wrought with emotion.
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  There was some tiny part of him that was worrying I wouldn’t see this through. His fear was unwarranted. Only a natural disaster would have kept me from marrying him. Jake looked so handsome in his suit that matched Jack’s, Jonas’s and Harrison’s. The more I thought about our day, the more cherished I felt. So many people had helped make this an official welcome to Hawkstown and to the big family that their community was. I was expecting a quick, fuss free wedding when what I got was so much more.

  I can’t tell you how blessed and lucky I felt.

  As the music drew to a close and I took my place next to the man who had swept me off my feet, saved me and offered me my dream, I struggled to hold in my emotions and another tear rolled down my cheeks. I’d been struggling with so many feelings since he’d left me that morning. My heart was overflowing with tears of happiness, and it was only normal that some would leak out. I couldn’t ignore what my heart was telling me, though. It was beating hard and true because I was back beside him. I looked to the heavens again and prayed that it would always be like that for us.

  I didn’t hear much of what the guy conducting the ceremony said until Jake looked at me and said, “I, Jake, do pledge you, Rebecca, my love for as long as I live. What I possess in this world, I give to you. I will keep you and hold you, comfort and tend you, protect you and shelter you for all the days of my life.”

  With the biggest smile ever on my face, I looked into the eyes of this man and believed every single word. Jake Griggs had finally given me a life worth living and I felt thankful to be alive.

  Jake

  I was late and I knew it.

  I fucking hated being late, especially for her.

  As I got closer to her, that insane sense of calm radiated out from my core, knowing I’d soon be within touching distance of the most important thing on this Earth to me.

  It’d always been like that between us; we hated being apart. We only tolerated it because it was usually temporary and she counted down the time just as much as I did.

  Rebecca never asked me for much, but when she did I hated letting her down. We did everything we could together and days like this one were more important than others. These occasions I got to see what I’d given her. She called them her reward, but without a doubt, they were really my reward.

  Rebecca got to show me how her dreams had come true. She was living her life like a regular person.

  I did that for her. I didn’t have to package up diamonds or make grand gestures. I just had to make all this possible. My mom had always said that it was easy to over complicate the world, but it took something special to keep it simple. Between Rebecca and me we’d kept it simple and fuck, it was special.

  My job as a police officer was split between Hawkstown and Eaglestown. I imagined it would have been dull if it hadn’t been for the college that sat on the borders of both. My brother was a tutor there, so getting to see him was a perk of the job, but seriously, those fucking students would be the death of me. I used to find it funny, almost a reminder of how I had been pre-Rebecca, but now I just wished those fuckers would wake up and grow up.

  We didn’t have a honeymoon. I was due to start at the academy and she was desperate to get her college stuff sorted. Delaying either of those meant we were putting our new life together on hold and that was the most important thing to us. We ended up with a small family party back at Dolly and Jonas’s house, and we just sat around drinking fizzy shit and eating marinated meat from the grill. The look on her face was so blinding all day and she never lost that smile of pure satisfaction. Rebecca was happy and content, and it seemed poetic that not only was she getting a husband out of this deal, but a family, too.

  I spent most of the little party clock watching. I was trying to figure out when it would be deemed acceptable for us to leave. The urge to grab her and run so I could fuck her in that wedding dress was immense. Everyone knew it, which was why the fuckers all conspired against me and kept me there until I thought my cock and balls would explode. I’d been somewhere between uncomfortable semi and hard since the morning. I found out they were running a book on it, and Jack won. His time was the closet to my predicted, ‘fuck this, Rebecca we’re leaving,’ explosion.

  It was hard waiting but I lasted as long as I could because I knew that this was part of my gift to her. If just sitting around with my mom and dad and the rest of the crazy crew gave her that happiness, I was only too happy to oblige, and I imagined Rebecca had never been the center of that much attention before. She had years to make up for and I was happy to give it to her. All that said, my new bride looked fuckably stunning and during my clock watching obsession, I tortured myself with thought of all the ways I was going to fuck her in that dress. Until Jonas reminded me it belonged to our grandmother. That helped delay my antics, gave Jack his win and effectively diverted my train of thought from what she might be hiding underneath it. And just like that, my raging boner was back.

  The small surprises that I arranged for her on our wedding day were really nothing at all. A car instead of a cab and my dad turning up to walk her down the aisle were the least I could do. It was my fault we were sprinting for this union, so the least I could do was give her something to smile about and remind her how special she was to me. The whole dress thing, though—that was all down to my mom and probably the biggest surprise of all. In that simple gesture, my mom showed Rebecca just a hint of what family love and support was all about.

  My biggest surprise of all unfolded quicker than I was expecting.

  Shortly after deciding that Rebecca was staying in Hawkstown, (I know… I gave her a choice and thank fuck she didn’t refuse.) I asked Oli Hart to keep his eye open for a place that she could invest in for her dance school. It was important to her and she needed something to focus on, something that made carrying on with college worth it. I was desperate to give her the one thing that I knew would keep her dream life rolling forward.

  Oli got the call about three hours before we got married.

  Miss Bale had returned to her dance school and nearly had a stroke. She was not overjoyed at the sight of the temporary pole dancing class that hadn’t been cleared away yet. The pole company were late collecting their shit and as Lacey was the one who had hired the hall and arranged for the set up, that was where she started when she unleashed her frustrations. Battleaxe Bale tracked her down at Lottie’s and proceeded to rip her a new asshole. Lacey was apologetic at first, but then things got personal. When she launched into a speech about that behavior being typical of someone who shacked up with an older guy, things got really out of control.

  Oli had to intervene and made the old cow leave sharpish. He said something about not knowing who to hold back, Lottie or Lacey, as one of them was going to kick her ass and he knew he had no chance of fending off both. Women will be women, though. Word spread like wildfire and they were up in arms and cancelling their kids dance classes, all while I was getting dressed for my wedding. It seemed the community moms only needed the slightest excuse and Rebecca’s bachelorette party was kind of a big one. Once they’d cancelled those classes, the mothering masses began to hound Lottie and Dolly about private pole dancing lessons, and Oli being Oli, knew an opportunity when he saw one.

  He left the girls to get ready while he paid a visit to the Miss Bale, now the owner of a floundering dance school, and convinced her to sell the business to Rebecca. Oli said she was resistant at first, until he reminded her that most of her clients were already beating a hasty path in Rebecca’s direction and maybe it was time to retire. Always a man with a tactic, when she refused to take the hint, he planted the seed that the vacant lot next door would make a perfect dance school and how good for the dancing people of our town to have two schools, side by side, that they would be able to choose from.

  Bitch Bale bitched some more, dropped the mic and then gave in so Oli was able to negotiate a good deal on the space. He gave her one week’s grace to remove anything personal.

  As soon as h
e told me, I was buzzing. I couldn’t wait to tell Rebecca. I was possibly more excited about that than hearing her say ‘I do’. Oli Hart, local entrepreneur, business mogul and kids home owner had other plans, though. He owned the vacant space next door and said he would stand Rebecca a loan for the premises so she could expand. I was floored by his generosity. There was just one condition. Oli wanted to form an alliance between the dance school and the kids home to provide an outlet for troubled kids they were struggling to connect with. They’d tried this before, but no fourteen-year-old boy who had been removed from his family for safety reasons was going to feel inclined to open up on a ballet barre. Throw in some hip-hop music, though, and make it fun, led by a girl who could connect with them on that very level, and they stood a chance.

  In my heart, I knew that Rebecca would bite his hand off at the chance to save just one kid from the heartache she’d known all her life. I also suspected she had the money tucked away to avoid being indebted to Oli Hart. I hinted as much to him. Her financial situation was not mine to share but I wanted him to know how important it would be for this project to be Rebecca’s. His offer of start up money was based on his own needs and that of the kids at Grove House, so I knew we’d find middle ground. In the end, Oli wouldn’t mind who paid so long as the right people benefited.

  I waited as long as I could to tell her and told Jonas that I was going to make the announcement, but he urged me to take her there and share the news. My big brother was right. Hearing something like that could unravel her and we’d need some privacy for that. Dragging her away from the family was not easy. Rebecca wanted to celebrate with them all night long, but I convinced her by telling her we had one final surprise in store.

  As we were leaving, my cell phone rang and it was Ross demanding to speak to Rebecca. My panic levels shot through the roof as she took the phone, but retreated just as quickly when I realized all he wanted to do was offer his congratulations. He and Cara didn’t come to the wedding. We’d kept it small and they both understood our desire to just get on with it and be together. They continued to speak on the phone and I knew what he was doing. He was giving her a gift of his own. Ross was telling her that she was safe and finally in a place where she could put down roots. I heard him tell her not to hold back and get on with being free and alive. Knowing that did something emotional to her. I saw all the pent-up fear that she’d been hiding from for years leaking from her pores and the Rebecca who was free from it all finally come forward and shine through. Seeing her that way did something to me, too. It settled me deep down in my core and as she struggled to get the words of simple thanks out, I took over and did it for her.