Read My Mind

by Natasha Preston

  He takes my hand and leads me into the glass double shower. I step under the falling water and lean into him.

  “Mila,” he says with amusement in his voice.

  All right, I’m a bit pathetic right now, but since when did I get old enough to have a hangover from drinking as little as I did? Even just a small one.

  “I’ll be okay in a minute.”

  Reid runs his hands though my hair, and then I hear the snap of a shampoo bottle.

  “Are you going to wash my hair?”

  He answers with his hands, his fingertips raking over my scalp in circles, lathering my hair.

  I close my eyes as the water runs down my face.

  Reid washes my hair before he moves to my body. He doesn’t say a word with his voice, but everything I need to hear is loud enough from his actions.

  I have never felt so secure with someone. Reid hasn’t promised me anything, but I know I’m safe with him. If he accepts my heart, he will guard it for life. He won’t hurt me, and he won’t back off or hold on until it kills us.

  I’ll always be first, and so will he.

  Reid washing my hair is the best thing ever.

  When he’s done, and I’m clean, he places a kiss to the top of my head.

  “Are you feeling better?” he asks.

  I look up, and the sight of his dark eyes under soaking hair almost makes my knees buckle.

  “Yeah.”

  He doesn’t take his eyes off me while he washes himself, either. My lungs feel as flat as pancakes. I haven’t passed out yet, so I must be breathing.

  He steps forwards when he’s done, so I move backwards, out of the shower.

  Reid reaches around me, his breath touching my face and making my skin prickle. He pulls a fluffy towel around my body and wraps me up.

  “We need to meet your friends for breakfast in ten minutes,” he says.

  “I don’t want food.”

  “But you need it.”

  “Reid.”

  He wraps a towel around his waist. “We have all day together but, right now, we need to get you fed.”

  “Fine.”

  “Ten minutes. Get moving.”

  I spin around, running for the hairdryer. There’s little I can do in ten minutes to make my face look less like I’ve been on a bender, but I can at least have nice hair. I spend a lot at the salon. I’m certain that I don’t need all those conditioning treatments with some magical fucking oil syphoned straight from unicorns, but I still spend fifty pounds on that extra treatment every four weeks.

  When Reid and I are dressed, we make it to our table with a minute to spare.

  Wren looks bright because she obviously isn’t hungover. As if he’s knocked her up before our girls’ holiday. Indie also looks perfect because she doesn’t drink much. Spencer is smiling so much, it’s hard to tell if he’s suffering. Brody, however, looks about as good as me.

  “Hey,” I say, sitting down.

  Reid puts our lattes on the table.

  “How are you two?” I ask the happy couple.

  “We’re good,” Indie replies. Spencer wraps his arm around Indie’s chair.

  “You feel shit, too, right?” Brody asks.

  “Yeah, I hate them all. I planned on getting Reid wasted, but I accidentally beat him to it.”

  Reid laughs.

  “What time do you have to leave?” I ask Indie.

  “Straight after breakfast.”

  “A week in Bali. I should’ve married Spencer’s old co-star.”

  Reid doesn’t bite, and I didn’t say it to get a rise out of him. “You know Bali lets you in if you’re not famous, right?” he replies.

  “Get it booked then,” I say, smiling sweetly.

  The thought about having him all to myself with no distractions for a whole week makes me want to hit up TripAdvisor.

  “Graduate, and we’ll go.”

  It’s that simple to him, and I love it. I graduate next year. I can’t wait to travel the world by his side.

  I don’t look at Wren or Indie, but I can feel their excitement. They don’t know that Reid and I are off on our first date tonight. I’ll tell them after. The feeling of security with a man isn’t one I’ve felt in a very long time, but Reid has shown me that I’m what he wants and that he isn’t going anywhere.

  I can see the kind of future we would have together, and I really want it.

  Thirty minutes later, we’re waving Indie and Spencer off, along with his parents. It’s absolutely freezing out but I’m so warm inside. Happiness will do that to you. I don’t care if the sky is grey or that the air bites at my skin.

  I lean on Reid’s shoulder when their car disappears around the corner. Indie is under strict instructions to check in when she gets time. I’m sure she’ll be very busy, though.

  Brody is whisking Wren away to a little cottage by the coast for a few days. It’s quite secluded, apparently. So they’re basically off for a dirty weekend, leaving Brody’s mum at theirs to dog sit.

  Reid and I are going back home before dinner. I’m so much more excited about our plans.

  First. Date.

  Fifty

  Mila

  Ever wish you could speed up time and slow it down all at once? Reid and I are sitting opposite each other in an adorable restaurant. The walls are made of wood, the chairs covered in velvet, and the black chopsticks on the table taunt me.

  I tried hard to eat with them. It didn’t work well, so I opted for a fork.

  “Tell me about your very first date with a girl,” I say.

  “Rosie Westwood. We were fifteen and we went bowling. Cliché, I know, but it was the only place we could walk to, and I didn’t want my mum taking us.”

  “That’s so cute.”

  “It wasn’t. I was awkward, she cried when she lost, and she never spoke to me again.”

  “You dodged a bullet. What fifteen-year-old cries when she doesn’t win a game of bowling? Have you looked her up? What did you say her surname was? I’ll check if she’s a psycho. She’s probably one of those who airs her dirty laundry on Facebook. I love those train wrecks.”

  “We’re not social media stalking my first date while we’re on our first date.”

  “Okay, we’ll save that for the second.”

  He looks at me darkly and shakes his head.

  I dig into my ice cream. Reid watches with intense eyes as I put the spoon in my mouth. He didn’t want dessert. I thought that was weird at first, but now I realise there’s only one thing on his mind.

  It’s a little strange having a first date with a man I know intimately. I can picture him naked very explicitly anytime I like.

  But tonight has been nice. The romance as well as the heat is making my heart beat hard. This is the start of forever.

  “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” I ask. “Please don’t say invisibility so you can spy on women.”

  He smirks. “I would fly.”

  “Me, too. You could go anywhere.”

  “Where would you go first?”

  “To that waterfall you took a photo of.”

  “We can get there by plane.”

  “Before or after Bali?”

  He smiles in amusement. “Whenever you want, Mila. We’ll travel the world collecting memories and photos.”

  “I honestly can’t believe I didn’t see you sooner. I’m such an idiot.”

  “Stop looking back.” He reaches over the table and takes my hand—the one not holding the spoon. He knows he’s got no chance of taking my dessert away from me.

  “Sorry, I’m just constantly kicking myself over the lost time. I’ll stop, I promise.”

  He arches a brow. “The time wasn’t lost. Everything is happening how it should be.”

  “You believe in everything happening for a reason?”

  “Not everything, but I think that maybe if we’d jumped sooner, you might not have been ready. That doesn’t work for me.”

  “It doesn’t?
”

  “No, I’m not just dating you for a few months then walking away. I was fine to wait.”

  “Ah, and now you’re sure I’m ready?”

  “I can see that you are. You show me every day that it’s me and not him.”

  I squeeze his hand. “It’ll never be anyone else now.”

  His chest expands on a deep breath. “You’re that sure.”

  “Yeah, but don’t let it get to your head, okay?”

  “I’ll try not to,” he replies sarcastically.

  I eat another spoonful of ice cream. “What are we doing next?”

  “I’m going to need to get you alone soon,” he admits, watching my mouth.

  “Reid Walker, this is our first date. What kind of girl do you take me for?”

  “Mine.”

  The possessive tone to his voice almost makes me come at the dinner table.

  “Weren’t we supposed to take this slow?” I ask, telling him how I feel without outright admitting that I’m planning a summer wedding, someplace hot.

  “We did. Now we’ve jumped, nothing is going to slow this down anymore. If you scare particularly easily, do let me know.”

  “Why, are you planning on tying me up to keep me?”

  “I’m most definitely planning to tie you up again.”

  I squeeze his hand. “Shall we get the bill?”

  Reid looks away, nodding to a server across the room.

  I laugh and put my spoon down. There’s no way I can eat another mouthful with the butterflies in my stomach now.

  He asks for the bill then turns back to me. “Don’t scare easy,” he says, and my heart skips a beat at the vulnerability in his voice. I’ve never heard him sound afraid before. Losing me is a fear. It’s equally the best and worst feeling I’ve ever had.

  “Okay, I’m going to level with you here. I watch out of the window for when you come home. I hold my phone if I’m waiting for a reply from you. You’re pretty much the only thing that I think about, and I kick myself daily that I didn’t see you—really see you—before now. The only place I want to be is by your side.”

  Reid’s lips part. He pulls some notes out of his wallet and throws them on the table. I watch him stand up and offer his hand.

  Should I worry that he hasn’t said anything? Did I go too hard with the crazy stuff?

  He helps me up, and we’re suddenly walking very fast.

  “I was kidding, you know. The stuff about watching for you out of the window.”

  We fly through the restaurant, and Reid shoves the door open. The icy December air pinches at my skin.

  “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I’m actually sane, I swear. Sometimes my mouth just—”

  Reid pins me to the side of the building, silencing me with his mouth.

  Fifty-One

  Reid

  I have Mila sandwiched between me and the wall. Her hot mouth kisses me hard and slow.

  “You want to get out of here?” I ask, pressing my forehead to hers.

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you going to watch me as I drive?”

  “You’re not allowed to joke about how pathetically obsessed I am with you.”

  “You want to talk pathetic? Mila, I’ve wanted you for years, and I could barely say hello to you in the street.”

  “How many years?”

  “Oh, no, I’m telling you that yet.”

  “Why not?”

  I push away from the wall and take her with me. “Let me have my pride, please.”

  “Nope.”

  “We can stand outside a restaurant discussing this or you can let me take you home so I can tie you to my bed again.”

  “The tying thing, but this isn’t over.”

  “I have no doubt.”

  Mila takes my hand and holds on like she hasn’t just heard that I’ve liked her for a very long time. Where does she think I’ll go?

  “You didn’t say you were seeing anyone,” a voice spits from the alleyway.

  Mila and I look over to see Liam standing with crossed arms, glaring at us.

  Why can’t this idiot just stay gone?

  “What do you want, Liam?” she asks.

  When did she tell him she was still single?

  “I was… then,” she tells him.

  “A lot changed in a couple of weeks.”

  They spoke just weeks ago and she didn’t tell me.

  I feel it happening. I’m detaching, my mind pulling away and taking me somewhere safe. I got really good at doing that after Grandad died. My therapist said it’s unhealthy, but it was the only way I could cope with finding him and the guilt of not being there earlier.

  If something or someone is going to hurt you, back off so it’s not too bad.

  If Grandad had been able to do that, he wouldn’t have spent the rest of his life grieving Nan.

  I want to run away, but I brought her here tonight.

  Each breath I take is an effort—short, ragged breaths that could quite quickly make me sink.

  I know what Grandad was talking about now. I’m going to lose Mila. She always goes back to him. Losing someone you love changes you. It changed him. He rarely smiled again. He spent every day until he died wishing for night so he could go to sleep and be at peace.

  “Liam, please just go away.”

  “You’re unbelievable. Were you waiting to get with him the whole time?”

  He bares his teeth at her, and that’s enough to clear my head for a second.

  “She told you to go,” I growl.

  His narrowed eyes hone in on me. “Who the fuck asked you?”

  “Liam, enough!”

  “You said there wasn’t anyone else when we broke up, and I find you here with him.”

  My hands shake, I’m so fucking angry. At him, at her, at myself. “Walk away.”

  Mila squeezes my hand. “Reid, come on, let’s just go.”

  I pull away from her. “Yeah, let’s go.”

  Her face falls, and she shakes her head.

  “Reid, I can tell what you’re thinking but you’ve got it wrong,” she says, jogging to keep up with me the moment we leave that twat behind.

  “You’re back in touch with him.”

  She shakes her head. “No. Not really.”

  Be calm.

  “Just… let’s go home and talk about it there.”

  “Mila!” Liam shouts when we reach my car.

  She turns around. “Take a hint, Liam! You can’t seriously come at me for seeing someone else when you were dating, too!”

  “You’re trying to get back at me, Mila! Nice.”

  “I’m not trying to do anything to you.”

  “You really think she wants you, mate? She might think the grass is greener, but she always comes back to me. Always.”

  My eye twitches. “You’re angry because she’s finally moved on, I get that, but you need to back off.”

  “You don’t tell me what to do. Do you know how many times we’ve got back together?”

  “Shut up, Liam!” Mila snaps.

  He continues as if there is something to salvage here. “Shit is getting real, isn’t it? You’re realising that you need to grow up and it’s scaring you. The answer isn’t him and you know it.”

  I look at her, my heart on ice as I wait for some indication that what he’s saying isn’t true.

  Is this thing between us a rebound to her?

  We make sense but that doesn’t mean we belong together.

  If I was out of the picture, would she get back with him? Would she anyway?

  “You’ve actually lost your tiny mind, Liam. Can you hear yourself?”

  He glares like he wants to destroy me. “What the fuck have you done to her?”

  I ball my fists. “Liam–”

  “No, you fucking prick! You don’t get this. This is what we do. You’re walking around like the cat who got the cream, but you have no idea. You’re a blip in the road. She’ll realise, yet again, what s
he’s done, and soon you’ll be gone.”

  I clench my hands so tight I feel the pinch of nail cutting into flesh. He can’t be right.

  He’s known her longer than you.

  “I’m leaving right now,” I tell her and turn away.

  Anger bubbles higher and faster under the surface of my skin.

  She’s instantly jogging to catch up. “Reid, slow down. I’m not interested in getting back together with him.”

  Her words fall away when we both get into my car. Anger, tension, fear, panic, it all swirls around inside pulling me from a place of rationality. I’m good with logic and thinking things through. I can analyse and form a careful conclusion without effort, but Mila strips all of that away, leaving me drowning in uncertainty.

  I gasp a deep breath and start the engine. We leave Liam behind where he belongs.

  “I didn’t contact him, I promise,” she says after a minute of silence.

  My hands grip the steering wheel as we fly along the dark road. “You didn’t tell me.”

  “Reid, please, it was hard to know what to do for the best. He messaged me, but I didn’t reply. Then he showed up at uni, but I told him I wasn’t interested. You have to believe me.”

  “Mila, please.”

  I can barely breathe. The loss of her is so close I can taste it. My stomach clamps.

  Rage surges through my body. I want to turn the car around and go back to him. Mostly, I want to get away from her. I need a minute, and having her right beside me isn’t going to clear my head. Having her and losing her: it’s my greatest fear, sewn into me after watching the man I admired crumble.

  Losing the love of your life leaves you a hollow shell. The sun never rises, and you never fully wake up.

  Grandad’s words spin around in my head, taunting me over and over. He wasn’t just a lovesick old fool like some of my family said. He spoke the truth, it just wasn’t what anyone wanted to hear.

  Sometimes you don’t get over a lost love. Not everyone gets to see the sun rise again, and I can already feel the darkness creeping in.

  Fifty-Two

  Mila

  Reid speeds into his drive an performs an emergency stop. I catch my breath, but it’s too late. He jumps from the car as if it’s about to Thelma and Louise off a cliff.