Whispers in the Dark

by Niranjan K

  I should have broken the bond when I first realised it was there.

  His phone beeped, and he checked it. It was a message from Daphne.

  I told Ned. it read. He says you have to come up now. The kids are in the cafeteria. They said they're talking. I'm assuming it's going to take some time.

  Alistair smiled to himself, warmth filling him. It didn't matter how many times he told himself he didn’t care what the humans thought of him. It did matter what some of them thought. He did care. He got out of the car and went into the hospital. The place had changed beyond recognition. The touches of modernity were blended seamlessly with the original architecture which was not changed even with all the extensions and renovations. It was good.

  Ned was propped up against pillows, looking much the same as ever. “Finally,” he said. “You're an idiot and I finally get to say that to your face.”

  Alistair smiled as he gripped Ned's hand. “How're you?”

  “Dying, according to the doctors.” he said. “Daphne acts as if it's some big tragedy.” “Ned!” Daphne interrupted, but Ned continued without noticing, “I tell her she shouldn't bother so much. It's part of life. We all have to go someday. Why act surprised when the day comes? After all I've lived a long life, and no complaints right now.”

  Daphne sniffled. “He's being silly.” she said.

  “Senile,” Ned retorted. “But you.” He looked at Alistair, “You, I have a bone to pick with. Why the hell did you run off like that? And why take so long to come home? Do you know how many times I called you? I suppose you ditched your phone.”

  Alistair pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down, nodding. “It gets a bit suspicious after a while. I've had that number for over fifty years.”

  “Never thought of giving me a ring and giving me the new number?” Ned asked.

  “All right, I'm a fool.” Alistair said, still smiling. He shouldn't feel happy. Ned was dying, after all, but he was. He was unable to help it.

  “And now that I've got you to admit it, I can die happy.” Ned said, ignoring the muffled sound of protest from Daphne.

  “Did she apologise for Ray?” Ned asked.

  “She did,” he replied, swallowing around the hurt. “But neither of you need to. It's not your fault.”

  “I know that Ray and you are all set on becoming the bad guys in this story.” Ned said. “Thing is, we were his parents. We raised him. It is our fault that he felt he couldn't confide in us, our fault that he felt the need to take drastic steps and our fault that he did it with so little concern for the other person.”

  “Ned, he was sixteen, he'd just lost Shane, you can't expect him to behave normally.”

  “I'm glad you're making excuses for him.” Ned said. “I shouldn't be, but I am. I would hate for you to hate any of my children, no matter what assholes they are. I know I'm being selfish… I know I shouldn't ask it of you…”

  “You haven't,” Alistair said. “And you know me. Asking me won't do any good if I didn't want it myself.”

  “That’s what makes me glad.” Ned said. After a moment he looked at Daphne. “Daph, I think we should tell the children. They need a chance to say their goodbyes.”

  “I know.” She sounded subdued. “But I… I just want to keep it from them for as long as I can… I guess, I just…” She sighed. “I'm being silly, aren't I?” She looked forlorn.

  “What do you think?” Ned asked. “You've always been sensible. Think we should tell them their old man's about to kick the bucket?”

  “I think they've a right to know, yes.” Alistair said. “As you said, they need to say their goodbyes… say whatever they need to, before they lose the chance.” He gave Daphne an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, Daphne. I understand you wanting to protect them, but they aren't children any more. They're adults, and I think you need to tell them yourself.”

  “The voice of reason.” Ned said, smiling. “God, you've no idea how much I've missed you!”

  “For what it's worth, I've missed both of you too,” he said softly. It was so hard to believe Ned was dying. He didn't look or talk like a man facing death. Alistair stiffened. “I think your children are coming back.”

  “You stay right where you are.” Ned said, resolutely. “You're one of our oldest friends, and you've known them all their lives. You shouldn't be hesitant to meet them, and if any of them feel embarrassed to meet you, that's their problem.”

  “I agree with Ned,” Daphne said. “They need to understand that you'll always be a part of the Haspels.”

  Alistair felt something tighten in his chest. No words would come and he could only nod. It was easy to claim he was self-sufficient, that he needed no one, but the Haspels had been part of his life for four centuries now, even before the treaty and he couldn't just ignore what they meant to him. It felt good to know they felt the same way. At least Ned and Daphne did, and there was a time the children did too, and perhaps someday they would again. Most of his kind would have scoffed. Even Jon would have, but Alistair was not his brother, and this meant a great deal to him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  They were all quiet as they went back to their father’s room. The coffee was in Eve’s hands, and Dan was holding the tea for Dad. Anton walked with his hands in his pockets, head bowed. His hair was too long. The silence felt awkward and uncomfortable, and Ray’s hands were itching for his phone. At least, that would be a distraction.

  “They watch your show, you know.” Anton said, without looking at him. “Mom and Dad.”

  “What?” Ray was startled. The show wasn’t a top rated one. “I didn’t even know you guys could get it here.”

  “Everything is available everywhere.” Anton smirked at him. “Sure, they have to pay extra for a channel no one else watches, but they get it, and they watch it.” He chuckled softly, amusement in his eyes. “A Ray of Sunshine. Who came up with that?”

  Ray laughed, forgetting they were in a hospital. He had rolled his eyes and grimaced when the title was first suggested, but for some reason, Jerry had liked it, and it had stuck. The show wasn’t a roaring success, but it wasn’t a failure either. The network had not so far pulled the plug and it had been renewed for one more season recently, which would make it the fourth season.

  “What’s the joke?” Dan asked, half turning and stopping.

  “My show.” Ray said.

  “Ah,” Eve said. “I’ve a few friends who watch it almost religiously, but I suspect it’s more to do with your state of undress than anything else.”

  Ray chuckled. It wasn’t like he wasn’t aware of it. “I know, that’s part of why I’m dressed like that.”

  Dan shook his head, muttering something about marketing people with no morals and the rest of them caught one another’s eyes and bit their lips to stop themselves from laughing. Ray’s inclination to laugh disappeared as he entered his Dad’s room to find Alistair there. Fortunately, both Eve and Dan stopped short at his sight and only Anton walked towards him, hand outstretched and smiling, throwing an amused look over his shoulder at them. Alistair shook hands with Anton, and while they exchanged platitudes, Ray sat down on one of the chairs, trying to bring his heart rate under control. He could do this. He was an adult. It had been twelve years since he had seen Alistair. He was over him.

  Dan muttered “awkward,” under his breath as he handed the tea to Dad.

  Eve placed Mom’s coffee on a side table and sat on the arm of Ray’s chair, her hands clasping and unclasping. Ray covered her hands with one of his, and she caught it in a tight grip, so tight it hurt, but he didn’t complain or wince. She needed it. She was extremely pale. He managed to give a tiny squeeze to her hand and could feel her tense frame relax fractionally, her death grip on his hand loosening slightly.

  “I should leave.” Alistair said, rising. “I still have a bit of unpacking to do.”

  “But you’ll be staying?” Dad asked.

  “Of course,” Alistair said. “For as long as I can.”
<
br />   He nodded towards them, his eyes meeting Ray’s briefly. There was no change in his expression. Ray might well have been a stranger. He was conscious of the warmth in his neck and face. This was not how he had pictured a meeting with Alistair. Not that he had pictured any. He had never expected to meet him again, but if he ever had to meet him again, this was not how he would have thought it might go.

  “That was awkward.” Anton said once Alistair was out of the room.

  “He can probably hear you.” Eve said, her grip on Ray’s hand relaxing and she sagged against him.

  “Not unless he’s listening.” Ray said, pulling his hand out from hers gingerly. “There’s too much sensory input. Most of them shut down everything. They’ll still hear, but it’ll be like background noise. They won’t be able to distinguish unless they’re actively listening.”

  His family was looking at him with varying expressions, Dan with disapproval and curiosity, Eve and Anton looked impressed and his parents looked proud.

  “Let it be known that a Haspel can’t even turn without learning more about the enemy.” Anton said.

  “It’s useful information to have.” Dan said grudgingly as he sat down on the chair Alistair had vacated.

  “You weren’t very polite to Alistair, except Anton.” Mom said. “I can understand Ray feeling some awkwardness, but why should the two of you be like that? Is there something we should know?”

  “Look,” Dan sighed. “I get that he’s your friend and that you’re both glad to have him back, but the thing is I’ve blamed him for what happened to Ray for twenty-two years. I know.” He looked at Ray. “I know now that it wasn’t his fault, but the thing is… it doesn’t go away at the drop of a hat, you know? I need time. To process, to get used to thinking of him as a friend again… I’m sorry, but…” He shrugged, his voice trailing off and he pinched his nose.

  “It’s all right,” Mom said softly. “We understand that. God knows he has time. So, I wouldn’t think that’s a problem, as long as-”

  “I tried to kill him.” Eve said suddenly, cutting Mom off in the middle. She was wringing her hands and Ray’s hand was too bruised, but he still lifted it to take hers, but she got up and started pacing. “I tried to kill him, and he let me go. I… I was stupid and I nearly broke the treaty and he… he just let me go… that’s why I… I just feel too guilty!”

  Mom enveloped her in a hug, her larger frame almost completely covering Eve’s smaller one. “Hush,” she murmured, her tone and expression tender. “It’s all right. You’re all right.”

  “Well, I’m not all right with it.” Dad said. “For god’s sake, Eve! What were you thinking? You could have been killed!”

  “Ned-” Mom started, but he shook his head.

  “No, Daph. I can’t believe any daughter of mine would be so stupid as to try and take on a vampire of Alistair’s calibre by herself.”

  Eve broke away from their Mom and turned to glare at Dad. “That’s your problem?” she asked, her voice disbelieving. “He’s your friend!”

  “And he was perfectly safe.” Dad retorted. “Even if all four of you were to go up against him together, he would still be safe. Even if all six of us went against him, he would still be safe. That’s how powerful he is. So, excuse me if I’m more concerned for my mortal daughter than about my immortal best friend.”

  “No, no, that’s-” Eve sighed. “You’re not mad at me for trying to kill him?”

  Dad sighed. “I’m mad you tried to kill my best friend. I’m mad you tried to harm someone who had babysat you. But I’m more mad that you risked your life and safety. Since I don’t have much time left, I think I’ll spend it being mad about the thing that bothers me the most.”

  They all stared at Dad, consternation on Mom’s face, resignation on Eve’s, Dan was expressionless and Anton was looking down. Ray wasn’t sure what he looked like. It felt as if someone had punched him in the gut.

  “So, you are dying.” He recognised the words to have belonged to him only when everyone looked at him.

  Dad nodded. “Yes. And you have a right to know. I wanted you to know. I don’t want to go without saying good bye.”

  “We wanted to give you the chance to say good bye as well,” Mom said softly, as she moved to Dad’s side.

  A part of Ray got it, but the other part wanted to yell and smash things and yell some more. That part didn’t want to know Dad was dying, even if it meant not getting a chance to say good bye. He couldn’t breathe, as if the room had suddenly become airless and the citrus smell of the air freshener was choking him.

  “Excuse me.” He forced out and ran into the bathroom, to hurl into the toilet, tears and sweat dripping down his face.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The next few days were a blur in Ray’s mind. Every day was the same. Visit Dad at the hospital in the morning, explore the town where he was born in the afternoon, comparing the place with the one in his memory, and every evening, Alistair was invited to dinner by Mom. Though he couldn’t eat, he would sit there and talk to them all.

  Just like old times.

  Even Eve and Dan were thawing to him, and Anton always treated him with the same familiarity they had when they were children. It was torture to sit there and watch Alistair charm his family so effortlessly while ignoring him. Not that Ray ever initiated a conversation with him. He stayed stiff and awkward, almost as if he were still that sixteen-year-old with a crush. Except it no longer was a crush.

  It wasn’t the only thing that bothered Ray. Either Eve or Anton stayed with Dad during the day, and Mom or Dan stayed the night. Ray had offered to stay with Dad a couple of times, but was told he should rest and relax. It was beginning to make him feel useless, as if he was no longer part of them.

  Things came to a head the night before Dad was to come home. Mom was in great spirits, talking about Dad and their plans to go on a vacation once Dad was home.

  “I’ll stay with him tonight.” she said “And I’ll get the paperwork processed by the time you all come.”

  Ray had enough. “I’ve other plans.” he said.

  It was a lie, but it didn’t have to be. Jerry had been angling for an invitation to Vrelsk for long. If he texted him now, he would be on the next flight and would reach by morning.

  “Ray,” Eve said, a frown on her face. “Can’t you postpone them or something? Dad would want all of us there.”

  “He’s coming home, what’s the big deal? I’ll just meet him later.”

  “You don’t know if you’ll have the chance later.” Alistair said, speaking to Ray directly for the first time in twelve years. “If you-”

  “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” Ray said, pushing his chair back and rising. “I get it, Mom. He’s your oldest friend and you want him here, but to me… to me he’s a reminder of the biggest mistake I ever made and one which it seems I will always have to pay for. I’m sorry. It suffocates me to be in the same room with him.”

  He walked out of the house, closing the door behind him. He would have liked to slam it, but he didn’t. He went out into the streets and turned right towards the Heron hills. It had been one of his favourite haunts as a child, a series of small slopes and valleys that spread as far as eyes could see. By the time he climbed the first slope, his temper had begun to cool.

  He stood underneath the single tree on top of the hill. The tree had been planted by him and his class during a trip. The bench beneath was donated by the town council. It was covered in dried birdshit. He made a face and started running down into the valley between the hill and the next.

  He was panting by the time he got to the bottom. He waded into the small stream, stepping on the stones placed there for people to cross, though the stream was only a few feet wide and perhaps about four feet deep. He got to the other side and sank on to the grass, pulling off his shoes and socks and dipping his feet in the water. He lay on the grass, his feet still immersed in the stream, feeling the cool liquid run over them. He looked at
the sky, at the stars, ignoring the tickle from tiny fish nibbling at his toes. It had been Dad who had taught him the names of the constellations. They used to lie like this, Shane and him on both sides of Dad, all of them with their feet in the water and eyes trained on the night sky with Dad’s portable telescope.

  His eyes stung. He used to sneak away to come to this valley and stare forlornly at what he called in his mind as their spot even after becoming a vampire. Because Alistair had never been there, and never had time for him. It had been perfectly obvious to Ray that despite how kind Alistair was, he had resented him. It was years later that he found out that Alistair had sworn never to turn humans. Even before the treaty, he had sworn that, and Ray had made him break that oath.

  Yet, Alistair had been kind; once Ray had finished school, he had found time to spend with Ray, to teach him about vampires, about how to control their powers of flight, shape shifting, and mind control. He had also shared stories about his past, but never once did he tell Ray about his oath. He had to find out from that asshole Jonathan.

  Ray sighed. He had always hated it when Jonathan came to visit. Not just because Jonathan was obnoxious and condescending, but because Alistair had a bond with Jonathan that surpassed anything Ray had shared with him. Jonathan had been Alistair’s brother when they had been human and he was Alistair’s sire as well, and they had a shared history of lifetimes and how was Ray to compete with that?

  Of course, as he grew older, it was evident to Ray that there was no question of competing because Alistair was not interested in forming any kind of bond with Ray, not even one of friendship. Yet, he wouldn’t break the sire bond.